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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Beauty Is In The Eyeglasses Of The Beholder

    | Robeline, LA, USA | Bizarre, Love/Romance

    (A customer approaches the counter with a soda just as I’m wiping my eyeglasses.)

    Customer: “No!”

    Me: “Sorry? No what?”

    Customer: “No! You’ve got to put your glasses back on!”

    Me: “Yeah, I know. I’ve got to wear them because I’m nearly blind.”

    (I slide my glasses back on.)

    Customer: “No, it’s just that you’re much too pretty without them. You’re better off if you keep them on.”

    Me: “…What?”

    Customer: “Yes, you have to keep them on or the men will be hitting on you in droves! You’ll have to have a stick to beat them off!”

    (I hold up my left hand and point to my promise ring.)

    Me: “No, this usually stops ‘em cold.”

    Customer: “NO! The glasses are what stops them!”

    Me: “Okay… So, that’ll be $1.77, sir.”

    (The customer pays and returns to normal. However, as he walks out the door…)

    Customer: “I’M TELLING YOU IT’S THE GLASSES!”

    His Psychotic Two Cents

    | MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

    (Two customers—who seems to be friends—are checking out a few small items. Customer #1 has already paid and is waiting while Customer #2 pays.)

    Cashier: “That’ll be $11.97.”

    Customer #1: “Ooh, you get pennies!”

    Customer #2: “Oh, I love pennies!” *suddenly very serious and angry* “Unless they’re Canadian! God help him if he gives me Canadian!”

    (Customer #2 is cheerful again, smiles at cashier as he gives her the three pennies.)

    Cashier: *nervously* “Have a nice day…?”

    Customer #2: *cheerful* “You too!”

    Someone Has Had A Bit Too Much Coffee

    | Melbourne, QLD, Australia | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (It’s early in the morning, and so the home-wares store that I work in is pretty quiet at the moment. It is so quiet, that I can hear this customer from the other end of the store as she walks in, getting progressively louder as she approaches me.)

    Customer: “…coffee cups, coffee cups, coffee cups, coffee cups, coffee cups…”

    (Hearing this, I turn around to see a middle aged woman and her 10-year-old son looking at me expectantly, still repeating ‘coffee cups’ as she gets closer.)

    Me: “Um, was there something I can help you with tod—”

    Customer: “…coffee cups, coffee cups, coffee cups…”

    Me: *trying my best to act normal* “Sure… just on the shelf in the corner there.” *points*

    Customer: “Ah! Coffee cups!”

    Politeness To Customers Is A Good Rule Of Thumb

    | Tamworth, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (I’m checking out a quiet, elderly customer.)

    Me: “That’ll be £11.25, please.”

    (The customer hands me a £20 note.)

    Me: “Thank you.”

    (I turn for a few seconds to sort his change, and get his receipt.)

    Me: “Here’s your—”

    (The customer is waving his partially amputated thumb in my face.)

    Customer: “I lost that in the war you know! They gave me £30 for that! I bought my first bike with it!”

    Me: “Th-that’s lovely, sir. Here’s your receipt and change; have a nice day!”

    Questioning The Location Of The Question

    | ON, Canada | Bizarre

    Me: “Good afternoon, how can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I got a question!”

    Me: “Okay, how can I help?”

    Caller: “Back in the sixties, me and Burt would drive to ‘Trannah’ to get a corned beef sandwich. The guy would say ‘Pickle on the side?’ and we say ‘Yeah, pickle on the side!’. Now you wanna buy ten, y’uunastan’ but you could only afford one! We ain’t got no money, y’know? These days, y’wanna buy one, ’cause you can’t buy ten. It’ll make ya sick! You’ll throw up!”

    Me: “Yeah, that’ll happen. I hate to cut this story short, but what was your question?”

    Caller: *click*


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