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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Speedy Service For Slow Minds

    | PA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (A customer calls in about new speeds for internet service we offer. It’s 10 minutes before I am getting off from work and she has the wrong department. She also has a very thick Russian accent.)

    Me: “Tech support, this is [name]; how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I have your mega max speed and I heard you have a faster connection that I can upgrade to now.”

    Me: “Yes, that’s correct: we have a 30Mbs service, a 75, and even 100.”

    Customer: “Okay, great, I want it, and I want you to credit me for the amount of time I didn’t have it.”

    Me: “Okay, I can transfer you to customer service department were they can help you get the new speed, but I am sorry; we cant give you a credit for service you didn’t have.”

    Customer: “But you had the service and I didn’t have it! I had to hear about it from a friend that the service was available. Why was I not made aware of this service? I want credit for the time I didn’t have it.”

    Me: “I understand what you’re saying, but the service has been out for about 5-6 months. We sent out letters and we put up banners and even commercials. You didn’t see anything in regards to the new service?”

    Customer: “No!”

    Me: “Okay, well I can help you get this new service. But, I am sorry we are not going to give you a credit for a service that was available to you and you just didn’t subscribe to it.”

    Customer: “Oh, well… I’ll get the credit. I’ll just talk to you manager. Transfer me to customer service, thank you!”

    (She didn’t get the credit.)

    Counting To Eternity

    | Birmingham, England, UK | Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Top

    (I am working on the tills, and pretty bored when a transaction equals £12.34.)

    Me: “That is…” *glances at screen* “…ha! One, two, three, four!”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Sorry, twelve-thirty four… one, two three, four. It just made me smile.”

    Customer: “Wow! Has this ever happened before? That’s amazing.”

    (As I rarely work the tills, this is actually the first time this has happened to me.)

    Me: “This is the first time. We’ll remember this for the rest of our lives.”

    Customer: “This is an unbreakable bond!”

    Me: “Stronger than marriage, some would say!”

    Customer: “You can’t divorce out of this!”

    Me: “It’s eternal!”

    (By now another customer behind is staring at us like we are mad.)

    Customer: “I’m going to have to tell all my friends about this! Can you sign my receipt?”

    Me: *signs his receipt*

    Customer: *walks away, grinning*

    Customer Vs Costumer

    | Portland, OR, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (It is the opening of ‘The Dark Knight Rises’. As it’s a major film, staff are allowed to relax the dress code and dress up in the theme of the film. Our most senior floor manager that day is wearing a Batman mask, cape, utility belt, and boots. He’s at customer service and I’m in concessions.)

    Customer: “There is way too much salt in this popcorn. Are you trying to make my kids sick?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry you think the popcorn is too salty. Can I remake a batch for you without the flavoring salt?”

    Customer: “I’m taking my kids to get tested and then I’m going to sue this theater!”

    Me: “Because the popcorn was too salty?”

    Customer: “Yes! I know you do it to drive drink sales, but this is immoral!”

    Me: “An immoral amount of salt?”

    Customer: “Yes! This is immoral, what you’re doing. You’re making kids sick! Now where’s your manager? I want to talk to an adult!”

    (I’m 19. My manager in the Batman costume is 23.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I am a manager. If you’d like, I can give you all the information to file a complaint with corporate.”

    Customer: “No! I want to talk to an adult. Not a little girl!”

    Me: “Okay, well, our most senior manager on staff is behind Customer Service.”

    Customer: *looks around, but doesn’t realize who my manager is*

    Me: “He’s the one dressed up like Batman.”

    Customer: *turns and walks out of the theater without another word*

    (Thankfully, we never got sued and never saw her again.)

    When You’ve Been Shawshanked

    | BC, Canada | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    (I work at a table that is set up at a farmer’s market every Sunday where I sell different deli meats. I also cater events and I am speaking to a couple in their 30s about possibly catering an engagement party. I am a caucasian female in my 20s.)

    Me: “So, I can give you my business card if you’d like to discuss the options for your engagement party.”

    Woman: “Sure, thanks!”

    Man: “You’ve been so helpful!” *looks at name on business card* “Morgan Freeman? Are you seriously Morgan Freeman?”

    Me: “Well, yes. That’s my name.”

    Woman: “Are you the actor?”

    Me: *laughing* “Haha, only on weekdays!”

    Man: “No she’s not. What a liar! This is bulls***. You’re not Morgan Freeman!”

    Woman: “Honey, it says right there on the card. So, are you the one that does all the narration? Like for the penguin movies?”

    Man: “She’s a liar. We’re leaving.”

    Me: “No. I’m not the African American male actor. But anyway, my email and phone number are on there for my catering business.”

    Man: “Sorry, we don’t deal with liars.”

    (He hauls his fiancée away.)

    Woman: *turns around and literally yells* “DO YOU KNOW OPRAH?!”

    Wait Until You Hear The Sticking Point

    | USA | Bizarre

    (A male customer walks in with a large stick.)

    Customer: “Hi, do you guys sell baby shoes?”

    Me: “Yes we do, sir. They are right over there.” *points to the shoes*

    Customer: “Okay, thanks.”

    (He walks over and proceeds to go through them. A few minutes later, he brings to the counter some baby shoes.)

    Me: “These are very cute shoes. You have nice taste.”

    Customer: “Thank you.”

    (He then takes the shoes and puts them on the end of his stick.)

    Customer: “The bottoms getting a little worse for wear and I would hate to get rid of this nice stick. Shoes should do the trick!” *smiles and walks out*


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