Featured Story:
  • Got A Tip-Off About Grandpa’s Antics
    (2,140 thumbs up)
  • February Theme Of The Month: Hazardous Customers!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    I’ve Been Mugged

    | Waterloo, ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

    (There are a number of customers in the store, including a younger woman and older woman who are looking at many of the same things. I see the older woman take a mug from the younger woman and bring it to the counter with a few other items.)

    Me: “These mugs are great! Did you find everything today?”

    Older Woman: “Yes, thank you.”

    Me: “That’ll be [price]. Would you like anything else today? A cup to go?”

    Older Woman: “No, thank you.”

    (She pays and leaves the store. I think it’s a bit odd that she didn’t wait for the younger woman. The younger woman comes to the counter, with a different mug, some tea and some more gift items.)

    Me: “Hey! I really do love these mugs! Great choice. Did you find everything okay today?”

    Younger Woman: “Well, no. I wanted the green mug but that woman grabbed it out of my hands…”

    Me: “Oh, my god! I thought you guys were together and she was buying it for you! I’m so sorry. I should’ve said something!”

    Younger Woman: “Yeah; I was pretty stunned. I didn’t know what to say.”

    Me: “I’m so sorry. Here the mug’s on us today since she took the last one in that design.”

    Younger Woman: “Oh! Thank you.”

    (I felt so bad, but we definitely don’t have training on what to do about customer to customer theft!)

    Pretty In Pink-Orange

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | Bigotry, Bizarre, Holidays

    (Last year I dyed my hair bright red, and by October it was starting to fade out to a pink-orange. I was used to getting a lot of comments about my hair and most were positive so I was taken by surprise when I was ringing up an older customer a few days before Halloween.)

    Husband: “Is that your real hair?”

    Me: “Yes. it is.”

    Husband: “Well. I like it. It’s nice. You look very pretty.”

    Me: “Thank you.”

    (His wife looks at him with a face that says she doesn’t appreciate him complimenting me.)

    Husband: *to his wife* “Well, she’s Halloween pretty, anyway.”

    Me: “…here’s your receipt. Have a nice night…”

    (My manager and I still haven’t figured out if I should take that as a compliment or insult, yet.)

    Getting Crazier Organ(ically)

    | Willow Grove, PA, USA | Bizarre, Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “[Bookstore]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Hello, do you have any books about dogs?”

    Me: “Yes, we have an extensive section all about pets.”

    Caller: “Dog spleens?”

    Me: “Um, we have a smaller section of veterinarian books, but—”

    Caller: “COOKING dog spleens?”

    Me: “Uh…”

    (The caller finally broke into laughter in his own voice, revealing himself to be my boyfriend in one of his weird moods.)

    Flogging A Dead Animal

    | Springfield, MO, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

    (As one of the eight fast-food restaurants that is within walking distance to the three college campuses in our town, our joint gets it’s fair share of college kids. And idiots. We are extremely busy on Thanksgiving when this happens.)

    Me: *answering the phone as I take a guest’s money* “Happy Thanksgiving! How can I help you?”

    Caller: “I want to file a complaint.”

    Me: “Oh. Well, sir, our manager is really busy right now making food; can I help you, instead?”

    Caller: “I came into your restaurant earlier today, and I got a [Burger] sandwich. I took it home, and tried to eat it, but my dog took it from me, and now he’s dead.”

    Me: “Uh…”

    Caller: “Well?! I want something done!”

    (At this point, I hear sniggering in the background, and realize that this is another prank-call. I fake a laugh, and hang up the phone, getting back to work with our huge queue. Minutes later, the phone rings again.)

    Me: “Happy Thanksgiving! How can I help you?”

    Same Caller: “Yeah, I have to file a complaint. I came into your store earlier, and I ordered a [Burger] for my cat. When I got home and fed it to her, she died! How are you going to fix this?”

    Me: “I’ll get a manager, sir.”

    (I hang up the phone instead, and tend to people who are actually PAYING for my attentions. When the phone rings again, and I recognize the number, I ask my manager if I can take the call at the counter instead, just so I can stop running around.)

    Caller: “I’m calling to report—”

    Me: “Sir, are you calling to report that one of our [Burger]s killed a beloved family animal?”

    Same Caller: “Yes. That is exactly why I am calling!”

    Me: “Sir, I am so, SO sorry about that. We’ve gotten a lot of calls today about our deadly sandwich, and obviously, that can’t continue.”

    Same Caller: “I know. It SUCKS!”

    Me: “Sir, please accept our fullest apologies for the agony we have put you through in this mourning. We are prepared to make amends. Do you still have the receipt for the purchase?”

    Same Caller: *obviously a little confused by the change in conversation* “Uh… no.”

    Me: *cheerily* “Oh, well, that’s okay! You don’t need to have proof of purchase. Tell me, do you still have the bag from your sandwich?”

    Same Caller: “Yeah…”

    Me: “Good. Now, sir, is the body of the animal nearby?”

    Same Caller: “Yes, it’s over there.”

    Me: *grinning* “Then sir, I have excellent news! We will be able to help you today! If you can just take the carcass of your deceased pet, pick it up, and place it in the bag, we will be able to accept it as currency at this time.”

    (My manager is giving me the death glare, but several of my guests on counter are laughing, so I continue.)

    Same Caller: “WHAT?”

    Me: “Well, sir, you don’t have a receipt, and we can’t in all good conscience allow you to be miserable over this. So, just this once, if you will bring in the body of your deceased, we will accept it in the form of a receipt, and give you a free [Burger] with our condolences. We hope to see you soon!”

    (The guest hung up. My manager, though laughing, told me never to do it again. Needless to say, the jerk didn’t show up.)

    The Unknowable Sale

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Bizarre

    Lady: *looking at nothing in particular* “Is this for sale?”

    Me: “Is what for sale?”

    Lady: “I don’t know.”

    Me: “Then I don’t know either.”

    Page 6/162First...45678...Last