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  • Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Weirdness In The Blood

    | Sarasota, FL, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (We have a patient known for saying random, off the wall things. I had just scheduled a follow up appointment for him.)

    Me: “Okay, sir, the doctor would like you to have some bloodwork done two weeks prior to your next appointment.”

    (I hand him the lab slip and the patient stares blankly at me for a moment.)

    Patient: “What do they do with the leftover blood?”

    Me: “Sorry?”

    Patient: “What do they do with the blood that they don’t use?”

    Me: “Um, I believe it’s discarded as they have no use for it…”

    Patient: “Do you think they would give it to me?”

    Me: “You want the leftover blood sample?”

    Patient: “Yes. It’s MY blood.”

    Me: “What would you do with it?”

    Patient: “I don’t know, but I want it!”

    Me: “Have a nice day, sir.”

    A History Of Petty Crime

    | Montreal, QC, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal, History

    (I am working at the register at the time. Our clients often come after they have visited the Museum’s permanent exposition, taking a bite to eat.)

    Me: “Hello, sir! Did you enjoy your visit of the exposition?”

    Customer: “Incredible! This is my first time here and I just can’t believe how magnificent those antique items are!”

    Me: “Yes, I have gone back to the rooms many times myself. They truly are worth seeing.”

    Customer: “I really liked the [Important Historical Figure] room. My ancestors served under him, you know?”

    Me: “Glad you liked the visit, sir! Your lunch will come at [price].”

    Customer: “Sure, give me a minute…”

    (After he pays, as he puts money back into his wallet, I notice a familiar object from his belongings.)

    Me: “Sir… is this [personal object from Important Historical Figure]?”

    Customer: “Oh, yes! I wanted to show it to my mother! Her legs tire so much she had to stay here.”

    Me: “You’re aware that’s completely illegal and may get you arrested? You need to go give it back right now.”

    Customer: “Don’t worry. It’s part of my heritage! I’ll give it back after dinner!”

    (I pressed the emergency button and watched him argue that it was ‘’No big deal’ and his ‘heritage’ with about five security guards. It took the cops to convince him.)

    Upside Down Line

    | SC, USA | Bizarre, Technology

    (I work at an allergist’s office. This afternoon I got an unusual call.)

    Me: “[Doctor]’s office, can I help you?”

    Caller: “mmhmfffmfffmnmumblemumble”

    Me: “I’m having a hard time understanding you. I think there might be some kind of interference on the line.”

    Caller: “…I’m holding the phone the wrong side up again, aren’t I?”

    High On Siridipity

    | Belleville, ON, Canada | Bizarre, Technology

    (I am working as a tech support agent for a major tech company, enjoying the slow part of the day, when a call comes it. It starts off normal enough, but gets strange rather quickly.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Tech Company]. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, man, my device won’t stop talking to me.”

    Me: *can hear Siri talking in the background* “All right, I can certainly see what I can do to help you out with that.”

    (I pull up his device’s information and see that it has no extended warranty, just the complimentary 90-day time period that is about to run out.)

    Me: “All right, sir. Before we begin, would you be interested in purchasing our extended warranty?”

    Customer: “What’s that?”

    Me: *explain the details of the extended warranty*

    Customer: “Yeah, man, sounds good if I need it to stop her from talking.”

    Me: “Er… well, you don’t need it right now, but it’s a good idea to have it.”

    Customer: “If I need it for today, go ahead and set it up, man. I just… I just want to kill her so she’ll stop talking.”

    (It is at this point I realize that the customer is rather high.)

    Me: “Er… did you just say you want to kill Siri?”

    Customer: “Yeah, man. She won’t shut up. I want to kill her.”

    Me: “You mean turn her off?”

    Customer: “No, I want to kill her.”

    Me: “O-Okay, tell you what. You stay on the line. I’ll get my senior advisor on the line. He’s better suited to help you with this… situation.”

    Customer: “Okay, man. Whatever you say.”

    (I grabbed one of my senior advisors and explained the situation to him. He started laughing. I told him I was looking forward to reading the notes on the call and transferred the customer on over. I looked back at the notes later and they went as follows.)

    Notes:

    -Customer transferred over to me.

    -Customer states that he wants to kill Siri.

    -Suggest that we shut off Siri; attempt to guide customer through the steps.

    -Customer has trouble following my steps.

    -Customer proudly proclaims that Siri is now speaking Finnish.

    -Recommend to Customer that we change Siri’s language back to English.

    -Customer not willing to cooperate, wants to kill Siri.

    -Recommend that he sleep the rest of the night and give us a call back the next morning.

    Like Sleeping On Heavenly Clouds

    | USA | Bizarre, Home Improvement, Religion

    (We sell mattresses. A customer does a lap around the store and stops at our most expensive beds.)

    Customer: “THIS BED IS ONLY $89?!”

    Me: “Yes, sir, if you qualify for the four-year financing it’s $89 a month.”

    Customer: “Well, there’s no point in me financing a bed, Jesus is coming next year. Have a nice day”

    Me: “…”

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