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  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Like Popeye To Spinach

    | NY, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (It’s nearly closing and there are not many people as we’re in the suburbs, not the city. I watch a woman in her 20s stumbling in, looking really tired or drunk and all out of breath. She stumbles towards to the cashier.)

    Woman: “Seaweed… seaweed… dried seaweed snacks.”

    Cashier: “Second aisle near the middle.”

    Woman: “Thanks.”

    (The woman stumbled over, crashing into the first aisle before disappearing from view. A moment later the woman appeared holding several packages of dried seaweed snacks. One package nearly got dropped on the ground before she threw them on the checkout counter along with a bill. She then flopped on the ground opening one of the packages, and shoved as much seaweed as she could into her mouth. The cashier was now done ringing her up and tried handing her change, which she ignored for a while. As there was no one else paying the cashier just sat patiently. A few minutes later, the woman had eaten one entire package. She stood up, full of energy now, took the rest of her seaweed and change and left, walking out really fast. I still don’t know what I witnessed back there.)

    An Oscar Major Weiner

    | QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Rude & Risque

    (An older man comes in as I open the store. He seems innocent enough and is roughly 80 years old. When he comes up to the checkout we make idle chat, until I’ve scanned all of his groceries.)

    Me: “That’ll be $42.99 today.”

    Customer: “I won an Oscar. Do you want to see it?”

    Me: “Sure!”

    (He quickly runs out of the store, leaving his groceries there before shortly returning. He is holding a fake Oscar, but looks very proud so I humor him.)

    Customer: “Look!”

    Me: “It’s very nice. What did you win it for?”

    Customer: “Read the inscription!”

    (The inscription says “Longest Standing Member.” By now, I was confused out of my mind, until the old man snickered and moved his hand, revealing the statue had large private parts standing out.)

    Me: *speechless, but quietly laughing*

    Customer: “My wife got this for our anniversary!”

    It’s Going To Be A Long Year…

    | MD, USA | Bizarre

    (A customer comes up to me with a calendar. There is no cover. It’s just wrapped in plastic and the front of it is the first month, January 2016.)

    Customer: “Is this calendar for 2016?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “But it has, like, the whole year?”

    Me: “Yeah, it does.”

    Customer: “It’s not just for January?”

    Me: “No, it has all of 2016 in it.”

    (Satisfied, the customer puts it back and leaves.)

    You’re Like Crazy Beautiful!

    | Wichita, KS, USA | Bizarre, Spouses & Partners

    (I work in an adult-themed store and it is my very first day after training. I am doing some cleaning after opening the store and my very first customer of the day comes in.)

    Customer: “Hey, I’m looking for something fun for my girlfriend.”

    Me: “Okay, well, we have a huge selection.”

    Customer: *as I’m explaining a toy to him, he interrupts me* “How can you work here and not want to f*** all the time? Oh, hey, do you, haha, test out all the stuff here during downtime?”

    Me: “Um. No. No.”

    (A while later, I’m ringing him up, thanking him, etc.)

    Customer: “I wanna buy you a vibrator. Can I buy you a vibrator?”

    Me: “No. I’m married.”

    (He leaves without incident, but a few hours later, he comes back, hands me a note, and leaves in a hurry. It said “My name’s [Name] and I think you’re really pretty. You should call or text me.”)

    Me: *to myself* “Gee, I thought this guy had a GIRLFRIEND!”

    (Over two months later during the Valentine’s Day rush, he comes back. He bought some stuff and left, but then came back a few hours later with his girlfriend!)

    Customer: “See, I told you she was pretty!”

    Me: “Um, thank you?”

    Girlfriend: “Oh, my god, yes; are you married?”

    Me: “Yes, I am. I’ve been married for a few years.”

    (The girlfriend picks out a wig, which disturbingly is the only one in the store that’s the same color as my hair…)

    Girlfriend: *turning to the woman behind her in the checkout line* “OMG, you’re gorgeous! Honey, just look at how beautiful this woman is!”

    (At this point, she starts telling everyone else in the store to look at how beautiful this woman is, so I ring her up as quickly as possible and say goodbye. The woman behind them steps up.)

    Woman: “The h*** was that?!”

    Me: “I don’t even know. They’re crazy; I’m so sorry about that!”

    Woman: “No, it’s okay, I just… I’m so confused! At least it was something nice she pointed out.”

    (The insane couple insisted they were there all the time… I haven’t seen them since.)

    Doesn’t Approve Of Your Approval

    | ID, USA | Bizarre

    (I work support for a game company that has an online store for digital games. While all sales are considered final, we make exceptions in some special circumstances. These exceptions are handled directly by us.)

    Me: “While all sales are final, I will approve your refund. It might take a few days for processing. Do you have any questions?”

    Customer: “Yeah, do you think my refund will be approved?”

    Me: “Yes, I’ve just approved it. It will just take a couple days to finalize.”

    Customer: “I know, but do you think it will be approved?”

    Me: “It already has.”

    Customer: “Will you make sure to tell whoever approves these knows my situation?”

    Me: “Sir, it’s been approved already.”

    Customer: “Well, all right. I won’t expect any guarantees, but I’m glad to know you think I’ll get a refund!” *click*