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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Has Their Bobble Head In The Clouds

    | AZ, USA | Bizarre, Transportation

    (I’ve just finished shopping at a big box retailer in my city. I am heading to my car when I see a middle aged woman wandering around the parking lot pushing a huge cartload of items and looking very dazed and confused. Concerned for her, I make eye contact to get her attention.)

    Me: “Ma’am, are you all right?”

    Customer: “Oh, yes, I just can’t find my car. I’ve been looking for 20 minutes now! I always park right over here. It should be here!”

    (The woman, while shouting some of her phrases, still manages to keep her voice monotone and remains looking very dazed and confused the entire time we speak.)

    Me: “Have you tried the alarm?”

    Customer: “Oh, no. It’s a 20 year old car. There’s no alarm. I just always park over here. It should be here.”

    Me: “Well, what does it look like? Maybe I can spot it.”

    Customer: “It’s a white Buick LeSabre. It should be right here. I always park over here.”

    (I glance to the car parked right beside mine. It is a white Buick LeSabre.)

    Me: “Um, ma’am, is this your car?”

    Customer: “No, no. That’s not my car! I would never have so many bobble heads on the dash! My car should be right around here. I always park here.”

    Me: “Okay, what rows have you looked on? Maybe you parked a little further over than normal?”

    Customer: “No, I always park right around here. My car should be here. I don’t understand where it’s gone.”

    (After a few more minutes of me trying to help the woman and her always responding with “No, it should be right around here. I always park here,” I’ve given up. Just as I am about to take my leave, an employee out collecting carts comes over.)

    Me: “Good luck finding your car, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Thank you. I know it should be here. I always park here.”

    (As I leave, I see the employee begin talking with the woman. 30 minutes later, I have to return to the store as I have forgotten something. I park nearby the same spot and notice the woman, her cartload of groceries, the employee, and now a manager are all standing by the Buick LeSabre I was parked next to before.)

    Manager: “Why don’t you just give that one a try, ma’am?”

    Customer: “No, that’s not my car. I don’t have that many bobble heads. It just has to be around here though. I always park here.”

    Manager: “Please, just try it. It’s the only one in the parking lot. Just put your key in and see if it unlocks.”

    Customer: “Fine, but it’s not my car. I don’t have that many bobble heads on the dash.”

    (The customer puts her key in and, sure enough, the door unlocks.)

    Customer: “But I don’t have that many bobble heads on the dash!”

    Manager: “Ah, there, we’ve found your car. Have a nice day!”

    (The manager motioned to the employee and the two of them practically ran away from the woman before she could say anything else to them. I couldn’t help but laugh as I watched the woman put her groceries into the car and mumble about the bobble heads.)

    The Right Wine Or The White Wine

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work in the wine department of a small grocery store. We will sometimes get customers with very little wine knowledge.)

    Customer: *holding up a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon, a red wine* “Is this a white wine?”

    Me: “That’s a red wine, ma’am.”

    Customer: “So, it’s a white wine?”

    Me: “No, that is a red wine.”

    Customer:” So, it’s a white wine?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, all Cabernet Sauvignon wines are RED wines.”

    (Customer turned and headed to our registers, with the bottle of Cabernet. I hope she did not need a white wine.)

    Double-Layered Satisfaction

    | IL, Chicago, USA | Bizarre

    (I see a customer, who I helped on the floor, leaving the fitting room.)

    Me: “How did the pants work for you?”

    Customer: “They were perfect! They fit me so well that I didn’t even have to take off my other pants to try them on!”

    (She wasn’t joking and actually purchased the pants!)

    A Thought For Your Pennies

    | IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Math & Science, Money

    (I’m a pharmacy tech working the drive thru. An older customer pulls up, and we go through getting her prescriptions.)

    Me: “Okay, your total will be $67.29.”

    Customer: “Okay.”

    (I go and grab her prescriptions from our waiting bin and come back to finish the transaction.)

    Customer: “Was that $68?”

    Me: “$67.29.”

    Customer: “$67.34?”

    Me: *now trying to not laugh* “$67.29″

    Customer: “Oh, 29.”

    (I looked back at my pharmacist and he’s trying to not crack up while in view of the customer. I finish the transaction and close the window.)

    Pharmacist: “Where on earth did she get 34 from?!”

    Must Have Really Needed That Food

    | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (I’m working the drive thru this particular day, I have just handed a customer the last of her order and she seems a bit distracted by getting it all stowed away safely.)

    Me: “Have a lovely day.”

    Customer: “I love you, too.” *drives off*

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