Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Love An Autopilot

| Acton, MA, USA | Bizarre

(I’m in the electronics department, covering for the guy who is usually there. A call comes in for me. The caller sounds like a guy in his late teens or early twenties.)

Caller: “Hi. Do you guy’s have any more PS4s?”

Me: “Nope, we’re sold out.”

Caller: “Okay. Thanks. I love you. Good bye.” *hangs up*

(I just looked at the phone, then chuckled at him being on autopilot.)

Make You Fall Off Your Chair

| FL, USA | Bizarre, History, Money

(I am at a gas station and the customer in front of me is paying. He notices he has an Alabama state quarter.)

Customer: “Is that an electric chair on there? Was Alabama the first state to use the electric chair?”

Cashier: “No, sir, that’s Helen Keller.”

Customer: “Why the h*** did they put Helen Keller in an electric chair?!”

Can’t Re-Coupon The Difference

| Indianapolis, IN, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

Me: “Okay, your total comes to $219.79; do you have any coupons?”

Customer: “Oh, yes, I have a $10 coupon and a 20% coupon.”

Me: “You are able to use one coupon per transaction, so with the 20% off, your new total is $179.83. Go ahead and slide your card.”

Customer: “Well, can I use the $10 coupon instead?”

Me: “Um…sure.” *deletes the 20% coupon, uses the $10 off coupon* “Your new total is $209.79. Go ahead and slide your card, please.”

Customer: *voice rising* “Wait! Why is it more now?!”

Me: “Because you are deciding to use your $10 coupon instead of your 20% coupon, which will give you more off.”

Customer: *slightly hysterical* “So are you telling me I can NEVER use my $10 coupon?!”

Me: “Ma’am, you can use your $10 coupon whenever you want, but in THIS transaction, you save more with the 20% off coupon.”

Customer: *looking crazily at both coupons*

Me: “Sooo…. with the 20% coupon, you save $43.96. With the TEN DOLLAR coupon, you save TEN DOLLARS.”

Customer: “Wow. I’m NEVER gonna be able to get rid of this $10 coupon! Why do you guys send them to us if we can’t use them?”

Me: *finishing transaction with the 20% off coupon and bag clothes, all the while smiling brightly* “Thanks for shopping with us. You have saved $43.96. Have a great day!”

Customer: *still muttering as she’s leaving* “I just CAN’T get rid of this $10 coupon!”

Good Clean Money

| IN, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

(I am the customer.)

Me: *handing money to the cashier* “Wait. First, I have to warn you: this money is wet.”

Cashier: *freezes*

Me: “I swear it’s because I’m an idiot and washed my wallet in the laundry. I promise, it’s the cleanest money you’ll handle all day!”

Cashier: “Thanks for the warning!”

Shouldn’t Have Made A Meal Out Of It

| Leipzig, Germany | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I am working as an alternative worker in the endoscopy ward of our hospital. The rule here is that before the medical exam in our ward the patients are not allowed to eat for some hours. Another worker brings a new patient in her bed.)

Me: “What is her exam?”

Worker: “Endoscopy.”

Me: “Yes sure. Which kind of endoscopy?”

Worker: “Just endoscopy.”

Me: “Yes, I know. But which one? Gastroscopy? Colonoscopy?”

Worker: “Sorry. I don’t know more. They just told me to bring her to you.”

(I check the patient’s files and see that it is a gastroscopy. I inform the nurse.)

Me: “Okay. So you are for the gastroscopy?”

Patient: “Yes, young man. So I just ate spaghetti and now you are gonna stick a tube down my throat?”

Me: “Yes. Wait, did you said you just ate?”

Patient: “Yes, of course. I had spaghetti. Beautiful spaghetti. I just had them for lunch. And now I’m here.”

Me: “Sorry, ma’am. You are not allowed to eat before the examination.”

(I call the nurse and inform her who also confirms it with the patient.)

Nurse: “Yes, ma’am. You were informed about this, that you are not allowed to eat before the examination. We have to reschedule the medical exam. We will talk to the doctor about a new appointment. You will have to go back to your ward.”

Patient: “But it was spaghetti. Beautiful spaghetti!”

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