Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

WTF Is OFD?

| WI, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I work at an ice cream/grill chain store in a small town. I’m training in a new cashier when one of our regulars comes in.)

Regular: “I want my usual.”

Trainee: “I’m sorry?”

Regular: “My usual. You know, with the OFD.”

Trainee: “The what?”

(He repeats the request a couple more times, getting ruder. I decide to intervene and introduce the trainee to our customer.)

Regular: “Oh! You mean you aren’t [Another Coworker]? I want the chicken basket with the OFD.”

(We have half a dozen combos that that could describe, so I ring the order in over the trainee’s shoulder. The customer gets the senior discount and sits in his usual spot without taking a number.)

Trainee: “What’s an OFD?”

Me: “Old fart’s discount.”

Service With Surgical Precision

| USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(I work as technical support at a large company that sells technology into multiple markets. I am following up on a voicemail left by a potential customer. From the voicemail, I know he’s looking for a specific medical product from the company’s medical division. I also know that the rights to the specific product had been sold to another company a few years ago. I dial the number he left me so that I can give him the other company’s contact information.)

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name] from technical support at [My Company]. I’m calling to follow up with a voicemail you left with us earlier today.”

Customer: “Oh, yes, I’m so glad you got back to me!”

Me: “As it turns out, [product he is interested in] is one of the products that [My Company] sold to [Other Company] a few years ago. Would you like to take down their phone number?”

Customer: “Well, actually, I can’t right now. I’m in surgery. It’s what I do for a living. But I’m sure I’ll be able to look up [Other Company]’s phone number if I search on the Internet.”

Me: “Okay, well, I hope you have a good day and that everything turns out well.”

Customer: *cheerfully* “Oh, yes, we’re just closing up the chest now. Thanks again for calling me back!”

In Praise Of Your Baggage

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | Bizarre, Health & Body

(I work in a soap company based out of Canada, and business is usually very slow. I don’t get a lot of sleep, so I have bags under my eyes. A female, middle-aged customer walks in.)

Me: “Hello, welcome to [Store]!”

Customer: “Are you wearing eyeliner?”

Me: “No, I’m not. Why do you ask?”

Customer: “It’s just unusual to see men with eyes like yours. Are you sure you don’t wear eyeliner?”

Me: “No, I’m sure those are just bags under my eyes.”

Customer: “Oh… well, they look great!”

Me: “Thank you?”

The Times, They Are a’Changin’

| MD, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

Me: “Your total is $4.24.”

Customer: *hands me a twenty*

Me: “Here’s your change.” *hands back $15.76* “Have a wonderful day!”

Customer: “… Didn’t I give you a five?”

Me: “I don’t think so…”

(Customer checks her pocket and pulls out the five she meant to give me.)

Me: “Doesn’t this usually happen the other way around?”

A Bad Case Of Adamantium Confusion

| Newcastle upon Tyne, England, UK | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

(My coworker goes to see a 94-year-old patient who had been confused overnight.)

Coworker: “Good morning, Mr. [Patient]. How are you today?”

Patient: *in a very measured voice* “Terrible, doctor. The professor saw me earlier and implicitly told me I am a wolverine. I’m afraid with this news I need to leave.”

Coworker: “I see. You’ve been a bit poorly so should probably stay in hospital for now.”

Patient: “Oh, but doctor, if you can guarantee I am NOT a wolverine, I’d feel ever so relieved.”

Coworker: *poker faced* “I can guarantee you are NOT a wolverine.”

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