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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Gift Card For The Gifted

    | Syracuse, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (At the end of each transaction, I have to circle a survey on the receipt that the customer can enter to win a $500 gift card. Three teenage boys have come in and are buying a sweatshirt.)

    Me: Here at the bottom of your receipt, we have a little survey. If you can take a minute to fill it out for us, you can be entered in a drawing to win a $500 gift card!”

    Teenage Boy #1: “$500 to here?! I can buy so many clothes! I can buy so many pairs of yoga pants! My a** will look fantastic!”

    Interested In Another Kind Of Bun

    , | Vernon, BC, Canada | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Welcome to [Fast Food Chain]. My name is [Name]. What can I get for you?”

    Customer: “Hey, [My Name], I’d like a large double-double.”

    Me: “Anything else for you?”

    Customer: “Yo, do you have any hookers?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “You know, hookers.”

    Me: “Yeah, no. We don’t carry those here, sorry.”

    Customer: “Aw, man! Well, whatever, I guess we’ll try [rival fast food chain right next to ours].”

    Me: “Sounds like a good plan.”

    (I almost got in trouble for saying ‘no’ to a customer and referring them to our rival, until my boss learned what they had been asking for!)

    Just Burst Their Kentucky Fried Bubble, Part 3

    | USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (I work for a gourmet chocolate shop, and the majority of our products are imported from several factories in Europe.)

    Customer: “Do you have chocolate turkeys for Thanksgiving?”

    Me: “No, Ma’am, we do not.”

    Customer: “Why the f*** not?!”

    Me: “Well, we’re a Swiss company, and they don’t celebrate Thanksgiving.”

    Customer: “You’re a f***ing liar. Like h*** they don’t celebrate it. It’s a national holiday!”

    Me: “Yes, it is. It’s a national holiday, Ma’am. It’s only celebrated here, in the US. You can try [other European brand], though. I’m pretty sure I saw chocolate turkeys in their window display.”

    Customer: “Trying to make me look stupid, huh? Well fine, I’m never shopping here again! And everyone knows that turkeys are extinct in Europe, so why would [other European brand] have chocolate f****** turkeys?!”

    Me: “…and you have a lovely day, Ma’am.”

    Related:
    From NotAlwaysLearning
    Just Burst Their Kentucky Fried Bubble, Part 2
    Just Burst Their Kentucky Fried Bubble

    Giving Her A Little Flight

    | USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

    (It is 8 am on Thanksgiving morning, and I am at the airport to fly to my mom’s home in Michigan. This is my second flight with this airline. The last time, I had money on a card to pay for my luggage, but they said they only took cash. I go up to the ticket counter.)

    Me: “Hello! I have a 9 am flight to Detroit.”

    Worker: “Alright, your luggage fee comes up to $50. How would you like to pay for that?”

    (I put my cash on the counter and smile.)

    Worker: “I’m sorry, but we only take credit or debit cards. Do you want to bill this to the card you purchased your flight with?”

    Me: “But the last time, they said I needed to pay in cash. I put money on the card specifically for the ticket. All I can do is pay in cash!”

    Worker: “It’s fine. Just go. Happy Thanksgiving!”

    (I tried to give her the cash multiple times, but she couldn’t accept it. To that worker, I am so very sorry for the mix up, but because of your kindness, I made it home in time to spend Thanksgiving with my family, and I will be eternally grateful for your kindness!)

    Totally Nuts

    | USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in the produce department of a large chain supermarket. As usual, greeting customers as they come in is a pretty common experience and the response is almost always the same. However, tonight, you could say, was a change of pace.)

    Me: “Hi, sir, how are you today?”

    Guy: “It’s cold as h*** in here! Is your nut-sack shriveled up in your belly like mine is?”

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