(I am working as a tech support agent for a major tech company, enjoying the slow part of the day, when a call comes it. It starts off normal enough, but gets strange rather quickly.)
Me: “Thank you for calling [Tech Company]. How can I help you today?”
Customer: “Yeah, man, my device won’t stop talking to me.”
Me: *can hear Siri talking in the background* “All right, I can certainly see what I can do to help you out with that.”
(I pull up his device’s information and see that it has no extended warranty, just the complimentary 90-day time period that is about to run out.)
Me: “All right, sir. Before we begin, would you be interested in purchasing our extended warranty?”
Customer: “What’s that?”
Me: *explain the details of the extended warranty*
Customer: “Yeah, man, sounds good if I need it to stop her from talking.”
Me: “Er… well, you don’t need it right now, but it’s a good idea to have it.”
Customer: “If I need it for today, go ahead and set it up, man. I just… I just want to kill her so she’ll stop talking.”
(It is at this point I realize that the customer is rather high.)
Me: “Er… did you just say you want to kill Siri?”
Customer: “Yeah, man. She won’t shut up. I want to kill her.”
Me: “You mean turn her off?”
Customer: “No, I want to kill her.”
Me: “O-Okay, tell you what. You stay on the line. I’ll get my senior advisor on the line. He’s better suited to help you with this… situation.”
Customer: “Okay, man. Whatever you say.”
(I grabbed one of my senior advisors and explained the situation to him. He started laughing. I told him I was looking forward to reading the notes on the call and transferred the customer on over. I looked back at the notes later and they went as follows.)
-Customer transferred over to me.
-Customer states that he wants to kill Siri.
-Suggest that we shut off Siri; attempt to guide customer through the steps.
-Customer has trouble following my steps.
-Customer proudly proclaims that Siri is now speaking Finnish.
-Recommend to Customer that we change Siri’s language back to English.
-Customer not willing to cooperate, wants to kill Siri.
-Recommend that he sleep the rest of the night and give us a call back the next morning.