November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 5

| VT, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid

(I work at a somewhat upscale clothing store. Lately customers have been coming in and refusing to even acknowledge my greeting, let alone let me help them.)

Me: “Hello, welcome to [Store]. What can I help you find today?”

Customer: “I’m not telling you what I’m looking for.”

Me: “Okay. If you need anything let me know.”

(Customer proceeds to look around for about 20 minutes. I check on her several more times. She lets on that she is looking for something specific to wear to a graduation. She will not tell me what it is.)

Customer: *leaving* “Well, I guess you just don’t carry cardigans anymore!”

Me: “Yes, we do! They are right here on this table! What size or color would you like?”

Customer: “White, medium.”

Me: “That was pretty fast, right?”

Customer: “Sorry, I just didn’t want you to try to SELL me anything.”

Me: “Then why are you shopping?”


Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 4
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 3
Doesn’t Understand The ‘Custom’ Part Of Customer, Part 2

Knows How To Press The Good Buttons

| NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(I’m working as a cashier at a popular fast food restaurant and have had a pretty rough night so far. I’m just finishing up an order on a young lady when I notice a button from a TV show I like on her purse.)

Me: “Oh, you like [TV Show]?”

Customer: *gives me a deer in the headlights look* “…The TV show?”

Me: “Yup.”

Customer: *a freaked out look starts to form*

Me: *points to the button on her purse after seeing the freaked out look* “You have a button with the main character’s face on it.”

Customer: *looks at her purse and calms down* “Oh! For a second I thought you could read my mind.”

Me: *laughs* “Oh, if I could read minds I would not be here. I would go play poker and win all the money!”

(The customer laughed too and we talked briefly about the show before she went to wait for her food. I continued to go on with my shift in much higher spirits. It’s rare, but getting customers that are able to cheer me up, is a blessing on bad shifts.)

Not Quite The Cream Of The Crop

| Hillsboro, OR, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I’m in line when I hear the drive-thru employees talking about a customer in the drive-thru. She wanted iced coffee, but she wanted it to not be brown.)

Employee #1: “So she doesn’t want coffee?”

Employee #2: “No, she wants coffee, just doesn’t want it to be brown.”

Employee #1: “So more cream?”

Employee #2: “No… she wants light cream, just… doesn’t want it to be brown.”

Like Popeye To Spinach

| NY, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(It’s nearly closing and there are not many people as we’re in the suburbs, not the city. I watch a woman in her 20s stumbling in, looking really tired or drunk and all out of breath. She stumbles towards to the cashier.)

Woman: “Seaweed… seaweed… dried seaweed snacks.”

Cashier: “Second aisle near the middle.”

Woman: “Thanks.”

(The woman stumbled over, crashing into the first aisle before disappearing from view. A moment later the woman appeared holding several packages of dried seaweed snacks. One package nearly got dropped on the ground before she threw them on the checkout counter along with a bill. She then flopped on the ground opening one of the packages, and shoved as much seaweed as she could into her mouth. The cashier was now done ringing her up and tried handing her change, which she ignored for a while. As there was no one else paying the cashier just sat patiently. A few minutes later, the woman had eaten one entire package. She stood up, full of energy now, took the rest of her seaweed and change and left, walking out really fast. I still don’t know what I witnessed back there.)

An Oscar Major Weiner

| QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Rude & Risque

(An older man comes in as I open the store. He seems innocent enough and is roughly 80 years old. When he comes up to the checkout we make idle chat, until I’ve scanned all of his groceries.)

Me: “That’ll be $42.99 today.”

Customer: “I won an Oscar. Do you want to see it?”

Me: “Sure!”

(He quickly runs out of the store, leaving his groceries there before shortly returning. He is holding a fake Oscar, but looks very proud so I humor him.)

Customer: “Look!”

Me: “It’s very nice. What did you win it for?”

Customer: “Read the inscription!”

(The inscription says “Longest Standing Member.” By now, I was confused out of my mind, until the old man snickered and moved his hand, revealing the statue had large private parts standing out.)

Me: *speechless, but quietly laughing*

Customer: “My wife got this for our anniversary!”