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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Open Is Open To Interpretation

    | Pasadena, MD, USA | Awesome Workers, Bizarre

    (It’s Easter Sunday, and we are open until six pm. All morning we have had people calling to make sure we are open. It’s mildly annoying, but I understand why they are calling, so I decide to have a bit of fun with it.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Just calling to see if you’re open.”

    Me: “No, sir, I am a pre-recorded message.”

    (I hear the guy laughing until he hangs up. I get another phone call.)

    Me: “No ma’am, but you can leave a message after the beep. Beep.” *customer starts laughing*

    Coworker: “Did you really just answer the phone like that?”

    Me: “Yes, and will continue to do so.”

    A Backwards Understanding Of Technology

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada | Bizarre, Technology

    Me: “Hi, thank you for calling [Company]. How can I help you today?”

    Caller: “Are you a real person?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, I am.”

    Caller: “Really?”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    Caller: “How do I know you’re not just programmed to respond like that?”

    Me: “Well, sir, I guess you’ll just have to take my word on it.”

    Caller: “No, that’s no good. Tell ya what. Tell me the name of the current Prime Minister, but say it backwards.”

    Me: “Harper, Stephen.”

    Caller: “I’m still not sure I’m convinced. I think I’ll just go talk to someone at one of your stores. Bye.”

    Driving 100 km In Another Man’s Shoes

    | Roermond, The Netherlands | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (I work at the customer service desk in a big outdoor/camping store. One of my jobs is to handle returns. Today, a guy comes in. I greet him.)

    Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, hi. I bought shoes here a while ago and they’re damaged. I want new ones.”

    Me: “All right. Did you bring the shoes with you? I would like to take a look.”

    (The customer nods and bends down. I know what is about to happen and so does my coworker. I can tell she’s about to laugh and she walks away to make sure the customer doesn’t see her. He takes one shoe off his foot and put it on the desk. It’s smelly and feels warm.)

    Customer: “There, you see? It’s damaged!”

    (I ask to see his receipt and look up the procedure for this particular brand of shoes. As it turns out, I can’t give him new shoes, but instead, I have to send his shoes in for repair.)

    Customer: “But how am I supposed to do that? I can’t go home without having shoes on! I need you to give me new shoes and I want a refund for the money I spent on gas! I drove over 100 km to get here!”

    (At this point, I notice his t-shirt. It’s a shirt from a local amateur soccer championship in a town very near to where we are. 12 kilometers, tops.)

    Me: “No, sir, I am afraid I can’t do that. I would love to send your shoes in for you. It’s no problem if you decide to come in another time. The procedures won’t change.”

    (The customer then, angrily, took his shoe back, grunted and moaned, and hopped away on one leg.)

    Donating On Biblical Proportions

    , | USA | Bizarre, Religion

    (A customer comes in on a Sunday afternoon. He orders a coffee but doesn’t leave after he gets it.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, was there anything else I could help you with?”

    Customer: “Oh, no, not at the moment, dear. I just wanted to give you this. You’re new here and I like to make sure all the new people are taken care of.”

    (As he is speaking he pulls a miniature bible out of his pocket and slides it across the counter to me. I’m almost too startled to speak.)

    Me: “…um, thank you?”

    (I wait until he leaves and approach my manager.)

    Me: “So, some guy just gave me a bible, but I don’t know what to do with it.”

    Manager: “Yeah, he does that. We’ve asked him to stop but he won’t. If you don’t want to keep it there’s a box of them under the desk in the office. Just throw it there.”

    Me: “There’s a whole box of these things?!”

    Manager: “Yeah, we drop them off at the Goodwill center when it gets full.”

    (Apparently this was just a normal thing that happened because when I moved to another restaurant down the road they also had a box of mini bibles that customers had given to employees.)

    Help You To Help Me

    | OR, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (My mother and I go to her favorite store, which is offering a 50% coupon. An employee is rather helpful with us, and when mom has other questions about an extra coupon, the employee explains that we can use both.)

    Mom: *brings the purses up to the register*

    Employee: “And that will be all today?”

    Mom: “Yeah, and, also…” *fishes out the coupon* “I’ve got this extra coupon that I was told—” *stops herself, and realizes it’s the same employee* “Oh! You already know this! You’re me! I mean, you helped me!”

    (I couldn’t stop laughing.)

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