October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Retail Nightmares

| MD, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

Customer: “I can’t find the skirt I came for.”

Me: “Can you describe it for me?”

Customer: “it was blue, lightweight, and had a red flower design around the bottom.”

Me: “I can’t think of a skirt like that in stock right now. Did you see it online? We don’t carry the whole collection here.”

Customer: “No, I had a dream I bought it here. You MUST carry it! My dreams are prophetic!”

The Last Trip He Takes You On

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Bizarre, Liars & Scammers, Tourists/Travel

(We have a ‘regular’ customer who only calls at night, and only speaks with young sounding, female representatives.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Travel Company]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: *sounding stuffed up throughout the call* “Yes, I need to book a trip from Chicago to Detroit for [date that is always two weeks away from date he calls].”

Me: “Great, and how many will be traveling?”

Caller: “Just me.”

(I check for age and military discounts when all of a sudden, he sneezes.)

Me: “Bless you. Now did you have a time of day in mind?”

Caller: “Oh, thank you. My cat just came in the room. I am allergic. Could you read me the time you have at the lowest prices?”

(The call goes almost normally accept for these ‘allergy’ interruptions, which involve opening the window, dusting, going in the attic, and so on. He gives the name of John Sneed for the reservation and we get to the credit card payment. He gives 8 of the 16 digits, and then hangs up. After having this happen twice, I ask around and confirm he is not a legitimate customer. A jewel of information is given to me, so I’m prepared the next time he calls.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Travel Company]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: *sounding stuffed up* “Yes, I need to book a trip from Chicago to Detroit for [date that is two weeks away].”

Me: “Wonderful! How many will be traveling this time, Mr. [Caller´s Real Last Name]?”

Caller: *hangs up*

Serving By The Seat Of His Pants

| PA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I have a regular customer who comes into the customer service desk where I work. He always needs help with the ATM. He’s a strange little fellow, always smells of beer and slurs his words. I am working on some paperwork when he comes in.)

Customer: “He-hey, hey, you’re the lady who helped me earlier right?”

Me: “Yes, is something wrong?”

(I had helped him with the ATM then did an exchange. He had gotten the wrong ice cream.)

Customer: “No, I was just wondering if you’d do me a favor?”

Me: “What do you need? I’ll try my best to help.”

Customer: “If I give you $40 will you take these pants back to the store for me and get me a smaller size?”

Me: “Uhm, no. I don’t get off work until seven so I don’t think I’ll be able to get there.”

Customer: “That’s fine. It’s okay. They don’t close until nine; you have plenty of time.”

Me: “I’m still going to say no. Sorry.”

Customer: “You’re saying no.”

Me: “Yeah, it’s a no.”

(He walked away without saying anything. My coworker and I just looked at each other like we both imagined it.)

Things Just Got Weird

| USA | Bizarre, Books & Reading

(A teenage male comes in and asks for a book. After receiving it, he goes and stands in the middle of an open space, directly in my line of sight, and starts fidgeting and wiggling. He hasn’t checked out yet.)

Him: “I’m not stealing anything, I swear.”

(He’s been in my eyesight the whole time he’s been in the store and I know he hasn’t touched anything. The only books he passed by are huge coffee table books that he couldn’t hide in his current possessions.)

Me: “I know you haven’t.”

Him: “Well, I won’t. I swear. I’ll keep my hands right here!”

(He thrusts his hands in his pockets, but only lasts a second before taking them back out and fidgeting around some more – hands in his hair, messing with his shirt, etc.)

Me: “Do I need to be worried?”

Him: “No, no… I’m just standing here because if I don’t… I’ll… do things.”

Me: “Things?”

Him: “Bad things…”

(After about five minutes his dad came in and bought him a book on black magic. The kid said thank you and left. No inventory was missing.)

Thankless And Helpless

| Lexington, SC, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

(I’m wearing a red polo and khaki pants while walking around a store whose logo looks like a bulls-eye. I notice a woman is kicking a large stereo in a box down the main aisle heading to the registers with her foot and carrying her son in her arms.)

Me: “Can I help you carry that?”

Her: “YES! It’s about time someone offered to help!”

(I am shocked as I pick up the box and follow her to the register.)

Cashier: “Did you find everything all right?”

Her: “No! I called for help for 15 minutes and no one showed up so I had to slide the box along the floor by myself. Then after I’ve been pushing this box for the last 10 minutes, this a***** FINALLY shows up to help!”

Cashier: “Ma’am, he… he doesn’t work here.”

Her: “Of course he does! He’s wearing your uniform!”

Me: “No, I just happen to like the color red.”

Her: “Well, you shouldn’t wear a red polo and khaki pants in [Store]!”

(She stormed out of the store after putting her box in a buggy. I assumed some humility and a thank you would have been asking for too much.)

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