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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Allow Me To (Mind)Read You The Menu

    | Solon, OH, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (It’s a very busy night, and I am currently waiting on five tables. My current customer is an older male.)

    Me: “Sir, what can I get for you tonight?”

    Customer: “Oh, you know.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Oh, you know what I want.”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry. I don’t.”

    (The customer looks at his son for help.)

    Son: “Dad, you have to tell her what you want to eat.”

    Customer: “She KNOWS what I want.”

    Son: “Just order some food Dad. She isn’t a mind reader.”

    Customer: “Steak.”

    Me: “What kind, sir? We have sirloin, filet, t-bone—”

    Customer: “Oh, you know.”

    (This proceeds for about five minutes, selecting his steak, the temperature, and sides. Finally I get to the son, who has been deciphering the conversation.)

    Me: “And for you, sir?”

    Son: “… I forgot.”

    Knock Your Socks Off

    | IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bizarre

    (I’m the cashier. The store has a rewards loyalty card. The transaction has been normal up to this point.)

    Me: “Do you have a [Store] rewards card?”

    Customer #1: “No, I do not! I was fired from this store because I wore the wrong colored socks! So I refuse to get a rewards card.”

    (The customer suddenly throws her credit card at me. I’m speechless so I just finish the transaction in stunned silence.)

    Me: “Have a good day.”

    (Customer #1 huffs out of the store. The customer behind her comes up to the register with a dumbfounded look on his face.)

    Customer #2: “I have a feeling wearing the wrong socks wasn’t the reason she was fired.”

    Not A Sound Argument

    | Exeter, England, UK | Bizarre, Movies & TV, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m working on retail in the cinema. It’s quiet because all the films have started. A lady comes down from a screen.)

    Me: “Hello. Can I help?”

    Customer: “Yes. My daughter and I are watching a film in screen one, and the sound is AWFUL! You can hardly hear anything. It’s terrible! Can’t you get it fixed? I’ve had my hearing tested by professionals and I’ve got the hearing of a 14-year-old, so I know I’m not just imagining it. Get it fixed. It’s ruining our film. My daughter’s been looking forward to seeing it for ages, and it’s ruined!”

    (When she finally leaves, I radio the technician to check it out. Afterwards, he comes to the counter.)

    Technician: “You know the problem in screen one?”

    Me: “Yeah, what exactly was the problem?”

    Technician: “Nothing. There’s nothing wrong with it. I didn’t do anything to fix it, because it’s fine. She must be nuts.”

    (After the film, the customer approaches me at the counter again.)

    Customer: “Thank you SO much for getting that problem checked out. It was SO much better afterwards!”

    Calling About His C-Pee-Yew!

    | England, UK | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (I work for an IT company that provides technical support for IT equipment to customers.)

    Me: “Welcome to the [Company] support desk. You’re speaking to [My Name]. How can I help?”

    Customer: “My toilet is broken.”

    Me: “Sorry, can you repeat that? You called an IT support desk about a toilet?”

    Customer: “Yes, my toilet is blocked. Can you fix it remotely?”

    Me: “Sorry, sir. I am unable to remote on to your toilet to unblock it. You will need to call a plumber if it is that bad or use a plunger.”

    Customer: “You are supposed to be a support desk. You are not being helpful. Don’t you worry. I will call back and get another agent to help.” *click*

    (The customer did call back. The manager got on the other agent’s phone, and basically laughed down the phone at the customer, asking if he has turned the toilet off and on again, or reinstalled the cistern.)

    It’s Made With Watership Down

    | NH, USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

    (We have for sale a really soft brand of throw blankets. They’re called ‘Bunny Soft’ to reflect just how soft they are. A customer comes up to my register with one.)

    Customer: “These aren’t made from real bunnies are they?”

    Me: “No, they aren’t. It’s all polyester. I don’t even think real bunnies are this soft.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t want it if it’s made from real bunnies. That’s just not right.”

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