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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Customer Service Stripped Bare

    | NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

    (I’m working in the shoe department of a popular retail store when my manager comes running towards me.)

    Manager: “[My Name], did you see a naked guy run through this department a second ago?!

    Me: “Uh… no?”

    Manager: “Are you sure?”

    Me: “Yes! I think I’d remember that!”

    Manager: “Right…”

    (He ran off down the aisle and I didn’t hear from him for the rest of the night. I heard from a coworker later on that the man in question had run out of the store, through the parking lot, and into a waiting car wearing nothing but socks and sneakers.)

    Totally Floored

    | USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    (I am hanging up clothes as a customer walks up to me.)

    Customer: “Hey, The elevators aren’t working, and the escalators aren’t working. How am I supposed to get down stairs?”

    (I am a little shocked at the question, but before I can answer:)

    Customer: “Never mind.” *walks away*

    (About an hour later, I walk down the non-working escalator to the first floor in order to take a break. I see the same customer making a purchase. I wonder if it took the guy an hour to figure out how to get downstairs.)

    The Sweet Taste Of Karma

    | Milford, CT, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Rude & Risque

    (I am a hostess at a restaurant. There is a regular who comes in with a woman, and the two of them seem to be in their 70s, although the woman seems more like his sister or caregiver than his wife. The man walks with a cane, and is constantly hitting on every woman he sees in the restaurant, to the point where a few of the servers get a little creeped out. On this day, the man has been hitting on everyone like normal, and right before he walks out, he stops at a jar of candy we have at the host stand near a sign that says, ‘guess how many candies and win!’)

    Old Woman: “Those aren’t for eating, they’re for guessing.”

    Old Man: *to me* “What do I get if I win?”

    Me: “You win the jar of candy.”

    Old Man: “Can I win the person who put the candy IN the jar instead?” *winks*

    Me: “… Well, if you really want to, sure.”

    Old Man: *gives me a huge, creepy grin*

    Me: “That would be our manager. [Male Manager's Name].”

    Old Man: *drops smile completely* “Oh. Never mind.” *leaves*

    Didn’t See That (Second) Coming

    | Detroit, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Religion

    (I run an independent coffeehouse on the main drag in a small town. A regular walks in, doing her usual purposeful strut to the counter.)

    Me: “Hey [Name], how’s it going?”

    Customer: “Good. You know what I want?”

    (I nod as I begin making her nonfat, no carb latte with extra ice.)

    Customer: “You know, I like Criss Angel…”

    Me: “Yeah, he’s… something all right.”

    Customer: “You know…” *drifts off for a second before coming back down to earth with the rest of us* “I really think he’s the second coming…”

    (I stop what I’m doing to look at her as I wait for the punchline. Turns out it’s not coming.)

    Customer: “He can do everything Jesus could do.”

    (I’m still waiting for the ‘HA! Funny huh?,’ but I see she’s dead serious and waiting for commiseration.)

    Me: “Criss Angel is a magician.”

    Customer: *nods smiling*

    Me: “An illusionist. He does tricks.”

    Customer: *her smile slowly fades to a look of total desolation* “Oh.”

    (I finished her latte and rung her up. She didn’t say anything else and walked out looking much less sure of herself. I almost felt bad.)

    Needs Some Light Soul Food

    , | CA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I am working the drive thru of the store very early in the morning.)

    Me: “Welcome to [Fast Food Store], what could I get for you today?”

    Customer: “Just a small coffee.”

    Me: “How will you take your coffee today?”

    Customer: “Black, just like my soul.”

    Me: “… okay?”

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