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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Said It Without Batting An Eye

    | Reno, NV, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (I was born with a very rare degenerative eye disease which, after several corrective surgeries, has left me with some very unusual eyes (off-centered pupil, over-sized green-gold iris). I’m used to how they look, but a lot of people are taken aback by them, sometimes even asking if they’re real. This incident takes place while I’m hanging up clothing.)

    Me: “Hello, sir. How are you today?”

    Customer: “I’m fine, thank you. We’re looking for— Are you wearing contacts?”

    Me: “No?”

    Customer: “Your eyes look really weird.”

    Me: ” …Thanks.”

    Anna Oprahnina

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Bizarre, Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Movies & TV

    (I am a book seller in a large book-store chain. A woman is standing in front of the new release table and is looking frustrated.)

    Me: “Can I help you, miss?”

    Customer: “I’m looking for a new book. Oprah said it just came out. You should keep more new releases in stock! Especially if it’s a book by Oprah!”

    Me: “Okay, well, maybe it’s somewhere else in the store. I can check for you. Do you know the title?”

    Customer: “It’s called Anna Karenina.”

    Me: *pause* “Oh, that should be in our literature section, under Tolstoy.”

    Customer: “Why is it not in the new releases? Oprah said it was just published!”

    Me: “Well, actually it was written in the 1870s.”

    Customer: “No, it wasn’t! Oprah said it was new! Oprah doesn’t lie! She’s Oprah!”

    Me: “Okay. Do you want to get the book?”

    Customer: “Of course! Oprah said I have to read it. Oprah!”

    (My coworkers spent the rest of the day randomly shouting ‘Oprah!’ over the headsets.)

    This Time With Meaning

    | ON, Canada | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

    (I have on a pair of frog earrings. The face and arms of the frog are in the front, and the legs dangle from the back of the ear.)

    Customer: “Oh, those earrings are so cute!”

    Me: “Thanks, my boyfriend got them for me.”

    Customer: “Oh you must love frogs!”

    Me: “No… they’re just fun.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, then, he must love frogs!”

    Me: “No, he just thought they were fun.”

    Customer: “Well, are you French?”

    Me: “Um, well, yeah…”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. So that’s why he got them!”

    Trying Your Patients

    | New Zealand | Bizarre, Health & Body, Rude & Risque

    Charge Nurse: “Hello.”

    Caller: “Is Mr [Name] one of your patients?”

    Charge Nurse: “Yes. Why?”

    Caller: “He’s in the gynaecology ward. Please retrieve him.”

    Charge Nurse: “How did he get there? He needs one assist just to walk around his bed!”

    Caller: “Well, either the dementia made him forget he couldn’t walk or he’s just been alone for too long in life.”

    Charge Nurse: “Pardon me? I’m sure he’s just in his bed in his room”

    Caller: “Look, just come and get him. He took the elevator up four floors, found the gynae ward, walked into a room with a cervical smear in progress, and asked if he could be of assistance.”

    Charge Nurse: “…”

    Look Out For The Always Looking

    , | Chicago, IL, USA | Bizarre

    (It is 10 minutes to closing time on a Saturday night. I am the only one in my department tonight, and I notice a customer walk in to the store.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [Company]! What brings you in today?”

    Customer: “Just looking around, thank you.” *starts to walk over to our tool chest section*

    Me: “Was this your first time purchasing or were you looking to upgrade your tool chest?”

    Customer: “No, thank you. Just looking.”

    (I leave the customer so they can look around a bit while I make sure there are no other customers are in my department.)

    Me: “Alrighty, then. If you need anything, please let me know.”

    (I help and ring up the other customers that were in my department, and I notice the customer is still looking around the same section.)

    Me: “Hello again. Were you able to make a decision?”

    Customer: “No, still just looking.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (I give them some useful product information about the various tool chests before walking away again. I go to prep the registers for closing time, and lock the doors. Immediately after locking the last door, I turn around and see the customer staring at me with wide eyes and planted feet. I open the door and greet the customer.)

    Me: “H… Hi there, were you able to make a decision?”

    Customer: “Yes. Where were you?”

    Me: “I do apologize. It is 20 minutes after closing time, and I had to start locking up. Which one were you looking at purchasing today?”

    Customer: “Oh, I wasn’t going to purchase today… I just needed to know if this was in stock.”

    (I check stock on the register, and we have several available.)

    Me: “Yes, sir. We do have them in stock.”

    Customer: “Will they still be here on Tuesday?”

    Me: “Unfortunately, since it’s Saturday, I cannot guarantee that it will be in and I can only place items on hold to be picked up on the same day of inquiry.”

    Customer: “Okay, well, I’ll be back on Tuesday.”

    Me: “Certainly. Here’s my card, and make sure to let them know you spoke to me when you pick it up. Also, feel free to ask them any more questions.”

    Customer: “Thank you!”

    (I unlock one of the doors, let the customer out, lock it back up. I start closing down the registers, and see one of our cool supervisors walk up to the one I’m counting.)

    Supervisor: “Hey, you all right?”

    Me: “Yeah. Hey, do me a favor.”

    Supervisor: “Yeah?”

    Me: “Remind me to never play Silent Hill before coming to work ever again!”

    (We both laughed.)

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