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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Look Out For The Always Looking

    , | Chicago, IL, USA | Bizarre

    (It is 10 minutes to closing time on a Saturday night. I am the only one in my department tonight, and I notice a customer walk in to the store.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [Company]! What brings you in today?”

    Customer: “Just looking around, thank you.” *starts to walk over to our tool chest section*

    Me: “Was this your first time purchasing or were you looking to upgrade your tool chest?”

    Customer: “No, thank you. Just looking.”

    (I leave the customer so they can look around a bit while I make sure there are no other customers are in my department.)

    Me: “Alrighty, then. If you need anything, please let me know.”

    (I help and ring up the other customers that were in my department, and I notice the customer is still looking around the same section.)

    Me: “Hello again. Were you able to make a decision?”

    Customer: “No, still just looking.”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (I give them some useful product information about the various tool chests before walking away again. I go to prep the registers for closing time, and lock the doors. Immediately after locking the last door, I turn around and see the customer staring at me with wide eyes and planted feet. I open the door and greet the customer.)

    Me: “H… Hi there, were you able to make a decision?”

    Customer: “Yes. Where were you?”

    Me: “I do apologize. It is 20 minutes after closing time, and I had to start locking up. Which one were you looking at purchasing today?”

    Customer: “Oh, I wasn’t going to purchase today… I just needed to know if this was in stock.”

    (I check stock on the register, and we have several available.)

    Me: “Yes, sir. We do have them in stock.”

    Customer: “Will they still be here on Tuesday?”

    Me: “Unfortunately, since it’s Saturday, I cannot guarantee that it will be in and I can only place items on hold to be picked up on the same day of inquiry.”

    Customer: “Okay, well, I’ll be back on Tuesday.”

    Me: “Certainly. Here’s my card, and make sure to let them know you spoke to me when you pick it up. Also, feel free to ask them any more questions.”

    Customer: “Thank you!”

    (I unlock one of the doors, let the customer out, lock it back up. I start closing down the registers, and see one of our cool supervisors walk up to the one I’m counting.)

    Supervisor: “Hey, you all right?”

    Me: “Yeah. Hey, do me a favor.”

    Supervisor: “Yeah?”

    Me: “Remind me to never play Silent Hill before coming to work ever again!”

    (We both laughed.)

    It’s All Peachy

    , | St. Paul, MN, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Spouses & Partners

    (I work as a sales associate at a large chain bath product store that caters mostly to women. I am stationed at the front of the store, greeting customers and handing out shopping bags. A huge, tough-looking man walks into the store and looks around awkwardly. He looks like a motorcycle gang member from a movie: tattoos, leather, and a bandanna.)

    Me: “Hi! Welcome to [Store]. I’m [Name]. Can I help you find anything today?”

    Customer: *shifts uncomfortably* “Yeah, I need lotion and shower gel.”

    (I knew he felt as out of place as he looked so rather than just pointing, I walk him over to the largest display of bath products.)

    Me: “Are you shopping for someone special?”

    Customer: “Yeah. Me.”

    (He was pointedly not making eye contact with me so I allowed myself a split-second look of shock.)

    Customer: *mutters* “My girlfriend likes it when I smell like a peach.”

    (Needless to say, I walked around the entire store with him. I even introduced him to some new fruity fragrances!)

    Loud And Clear-ly Annoying

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Family & Kids

    (I am a part time clerk assisting my manager on register during the morning rush. The next customer in line is a middle aged woman and her son who looks to be around eight.)

    Me: “Good morning. Is this all for you?”

    Boy: *yelling loudly* “GOOD MORNING, SIR. YOU’RE DOING A WONDERFUL JOB!”

    Me: “Well, thank you.”

    Boy: “SAY WHAT DID YOU SAY?”

    Me: “Um… thank you?”

    Boy: “SAY WHAT DID YOU SAY?”

    Me: *realizing the kid isn’t asking for me to repeat myself but giving a command* “Okay, what did you say?”

    Boy: *even louder* “GOOD MORNING, SIR. YOU’RE DOING A WONDERFUL JOB!”

    (My manager and several of the customers are looking our way, obviously annoyed with the boy. I tell the customer her total and she goes to pay.)

    Boy: “ARE YOU EVER GOING TO GET A REAL CAREER OR ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE TRASH OUT ALL YOUR LIFE?”

    (I blink and am at a total loss for words. Several other customers’ jaws drop and my manager is trying to keep from laughing.)

    Customer: “Oh, my goodness, I am so sorry! I can’t believe…”

    Boy: “GOOD MORNING, SIR. YOU’RE DOING A WONDERFUL JOB!”

    When Customer Service Mutates Into Something Else

    , | NC, USA | Bizarre, Geeks Rule, Pets & Animals

    Me: “My name is [Name]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “One moment, please.”

    Me: “Let me know if you have any questions.”

    Customer: “What came first the chicken or the egg?”

    Me: “The egg. So the chick could hatch.”

    Customer: “Where did the egg come from then?”

    Me: *shrugs* “Mutant ostrich.”

    Following Blind Orders

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work in internal computer support. One afternoon I get a call from an older gentleman.)

    Me: “[Company] help desk. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Make the information available. Do it.”

    Me: “What information do you need?”

    Caller: “Just do it!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I need a little more context here. What are you calling about?”

    Caller: “The email said to call you and make the information available so I am calling you!”

    Me: “The information about what? What email are you referring to? What is the topic?”

    Caller: “I have no idea. I was just following orders!” *hangs up*

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