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  • Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Sadly They Aren’t Cracking A Joke

    | St. George, UT, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in customer service at a very large store. One day a customer comes up to me looking very upset and holding his cell phone in his hand.)

    Customer: “I need to see a manager.”

    Me: “Certainly! I’ll call them over now. May I ask what you need to see a manager for?”

    Customer: “I need to file a complaint about an employee.”

    Me: “Okay, I’ll call the manager over now.”

    (The manager takes the customer to the side to talk, but I can still hear them.)

    Manager: “What can I do for you?”

    Customer: “I was browsing your store when I saw an employee stocking shelves. His butt was hanging out of his pants. Look!”

    (The customer holds up his phone, and he has actually taken a picture of my coworker’s butt crack hanging out of his pants!)

    Manager: *stifling laughter* “I’ll talk to that employee and make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

    (He never talked to said employee.)

    Good Thing He Didn’t Hit The Ceiling

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer comes into the store. He has a jacket bunched up under his arm. I notice him looking up at the ceiling and approach him to see if he needs help. He doesn’t so I head to the counter. He is still looking at the ceiling and then back at me. I call a coworker over.)

    Me: “That guy is freaking me out. He’s up to something.”

    Coworker: *heads over* “Hi,. Can I help you?”

    Customer: “No, just looking.”

    Coworker: “Can I check what you have wrapped in your jacket?

    (The customer unwraps the jacket to show that he has a black hair brush with a round hollow handle. Then he leaves the store. I head out for lunch and am sitting in a fast food place when I see the man come out of the toilet area. He again is looking at the ceiling and then around the restaurant. He sees me looking at him and quickly leaves. He still has that jacket under his arm, he heads to another fast food place. Again he notices me noticing him. I head back to work.)

    Me: *to coworker* “I saw that guy again. He was acting suspiciously in [Fast Food Place] but as soon as he saw me he left. He was checking out the locations of the cameras, which is what he was doing here, too. I think that he was going to pretend he had a gun. The end of that brush could be mistaken for one.”

    Coworker: “Yeah. We discussed it while you were gone and came to the same conclusion. I went down to the store that I saw him come out of and they had also noticed him checking out their cameras.”

    (There were no reported robberies in the area. We were ready with our surveillance recordings if there were.)

    Too Needy For Me

    | Albany, CA, USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (I am making popcorn when I see a customer approach the concessions stand and turn around. I am not sure if she needs anything, but I acknowledge her anyway.)

    Me: “Hi there! I’ll be right with you.”

    Customer: “No, I don’t need you. I mean, I love you, but I don’t need you.”

    That Line Is Dead

    | Invercargill, New Zealand | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

    (I am selling a customer a dryer. For warranty purposes our system logs everyone’s purchases under their names and phone numbers.)

    Me: “What’s your phone number, sir?”

    Customer: “It’s [number].”

    Me: “So, that will be going under [Woman's Name]?”

    Customer: “No. That’s my wife’s name.”

    Me: “Is that okay?”

    Customer: “Well, she’s dead at the moment so I’m not sure how that would work…”

    The Mother Of Bad Pickup Lines

    | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m cleaning behind the registers alone when a customer comes up to the counter. He looks about 30 and is a little unkempt looking. I’m 18. He’s been staring at me and overall been acting creepy and talking about how he can’t buy more shoes or socks because his mother won’t let him. Finally at the end of the transaction, this happens:)

    Customer: “You know… I think you’re very attractive… Would you, maybe.. Like to go out some time?”

    Me: “Thank you. That’s very sweet but I’m still in high school.”

    Customer: “Oh, what grade?”

    Me: “12.”

    Customer: “I don’t mind.”

    Me: “Maybe another time, but thank you.”

    (He then proceeds to ask again and I decline a second time.)

    Customer: “So, where do you live?”

    Me: “Oh, around here.”

    Customer: “Well I live in [retirement apartment complex].”

    (I assume this means he lives with his mother. He then proceeds to give me his email address and name on a post it note which I accept because at that point I just wanted him out. He’s been seen in the shopping centre near my store but hasn’t come back yet. Thank god!)

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