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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Ah, Mothers, Part 8

    | Boston, MA, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids

    (I am a student, and I babysit for money. On Mondays, I take the little boy I watch to the playground for a few hours and helicopter around him in case he hurts himself. A mother at the park approaches me.)

    Mother: “You know, I just want to tell you: I see you here every Monday and I think it’s just great that you are such a hands-on young mother.”

    Me: “Oh! I’m not his mother! I’m just his babysitter. But thank you anyway!”

    Mother: “Sweetie, you don’t need to be embarrassed! You should embrace being a great mom, especially at such a young age. I can’t even imagine what its like for you as a single mom in your early 20s!”

    Me: “Uhm, really, I am not his mother. I am just his babysitter. But I’m flattered you think I am doing a great job caring for him!”

    (The mother walks away to the sand box area, where other mothers are sitting just within ear shot.)

    Mother: “You ladies will not believe this! That girl over there is trying to claim that that baby is not hers! Some people! I wonder if her parents have brainwashed her in to thinking it’s their baby. There are some really crazy people out there huh?”

    Related:
    Ah, Mothers, Part 7
    Ah, Mothers, Part 6
    Ah, Mothers, Part 5
    Ah, Mothers, Part 4
    Ah, Mothers, Part 3
    Ah, Mothers, Part 2
    Ah, Mothers

    The Name Blame Game

    | Willow Grove, PA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Love/Romance

    (We have a counter where customers can pick up online-only items that have been shipped to the store at no charge. Customers can designate an alternate pickup person, and it’s not uncommon for a spouse or parent to pick up an order, though usually they know it’s not their name on the order.)

    Customer: “It’s under [name]. It’s a stroller.”

    (I search, and find nothing on computer or on the shelf.)

    Me: “Could it possibly be under your husband’s name?”

    Customer: “I’m a lesbian.”

    Me: “Okay, well, what’s your wife’s name?”

    Customer: “It’s [other name].”

    Me: “Here we go!” *brings out stroller* “Your name wasn’t on the box, so that’s why.”

    Customer: “Well, you should have known!”

    Me: “I should have known your wife with a wildly different name always sends you to pickup the order under her name?”

    Customer: “YES!”

    Some Boys Are Made Of Sugar And Spice

    | San Antonio, TX, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Language & Words

    (I am waiting for a hair cut. Next in the queue is a boy that can’t be older than four or five.)

    Little Boy: “I want you to cut my hair spicy!”

    Hairdresser: “…’spicy?’”

    Little Boy: “Yeah, spicy! Like, super spicy!”

    Hairdresser: “…don’t you mean ‘spiky?’”

    Little Boy: “That too!”

    About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 3

    | Springfield, OH, USA | Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal, Technology

    (I have worked with a customer for about 10 or so minutes to find a pair of jeans. I hear a beeping from what sounds like a cell phone coming from the customer, but he is ignoring it.)

    Me: “We have some of these on clearance here—if you need to take that, it’s fine.”

    Customer: “Oh naw, that’s just my bracelet.”

    (The customer leans down to his ankle to reveal a huge black bracelet for house arrest.)

    Customer: “The battery is dying.”

    Me: “Oh, okay.”

    (We move to the register.)

    Me: “We have a [drugstore] close by if you need any sort of battery.”

    Customer: “Naw, I gotta go home and charge it. Can I go put these on?”

    Me: “Sure, let me take the tags off for you, and we can process it when you come back.”

    (He returns after this, and we process the exchange. He thanks me, and his bracelet begins to beep again…)

    Related:
    About To Get Charged With Battery, Part 2
    About To Get Charged With Battery

    Political (Weather) Front

    | The Netherlands | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Politics

    (A customer has just bought a paper, and since it’s a quiet day, I make some small talk with him. It is currently very bad weather for the time of the year. It’s cold and very windy.)

    Me: “So, did you make it through the storm?”

    Customer: “Well, I survived, but it’s so cold!”

    Me: “Yeah, I—”

    Customer: “I think it’s a conspiracy from the European Union.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, how?”

    Customer: “The EU is making the weather extra cold, so we use more gas for the heater, and we have higher gas bills.”

    Me: “Well, I’m sure the EU doesn’t have the technology to control the weather.”

    Customer: “You never know with the EU!”

    Me: “But controlling the weather—”

    Customer: “You know how they are! For example, now with all the fuss about Cyprus. All they did was spend the same amount of money as Germany, but Germany is fine, and Cyprus is in a crisis!”

    Me: “But Germany is a lot bigger than Cyprus.”

    Customer: “Yeah, they sure are!”

    Me: “Have a nice day, sir.”


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