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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Getting Crabby At The Box Office

    | US | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I work in the box office of a theater company that performs different plays throughout the summer. Occasionally we get calls from people assuming we are a cinema.)

    Me: “Box office. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Uh, yeah, can I place an order with you?”

    Me: “Yes, this is the box office. You can order tickets with us.”

    Customer: “Okay, I’m gonna get five crab cakes, two orders of—”

    Me: “I’m sorry. What was that?”

    Customer: “I want five orders of the crab cakes, and—”

    Me: “I’m sorry. This is the box office of the theater at [Town].”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “The theater at [Town].”

    Customer: “[Town]?”

    Me: “Yes. This is the box office.”

    Customer: “The box office.”

    Me: “Yes.” *silence* “Did you want to order some tickets to a play?”

    Customer: “… Yeah. So, I want five crab cakes and two ord—”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. This isn’t a restaurant. This is the box office of the theater.”

    Customer: “So you don’t have any crab cakes?”

    Me: “I’m afraid not, sir. We only sell tickets to plays.”

    Customer: “Okay, sounds great, thanks.” *hangs up*

    Must Have Been Smoking A Half-Pipe

    | Denton, TX, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Technology

    (I work the front in a local computer repair shop and am in charge of answering phones and scheduling service. The phone rings and I answer.)

    Me: “How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Do you guys have any skateboards?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry, sir. We are actually a computer repair company.”

    Caller: “Oh…” *long pause* “So, do you guys have any skateboards?”

    Me: “… No, sir. We only sell and work on computers.”

    Caller: “Oh. Okay.” *hangs up*

    Suffering From A Reptile Dysfunction, Part 2

    | Lynnwood, WA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

    (I was getting my best friend some candy at a grocery store to cheer her up, when I am approached by a lady who is at a sample station with dog treats.)

    Customer: “Do happen to have a dog at home?”

    Me: “Actually, I don’t. We only have a bunch of reptiles.”

    Customer: “Reptiles, huh. When I was out this state, we caught large iguanas about this big—” *stretches out arms, maybe four feet* “—from the jungle and ate them.”

    Me: “Iguanas can get very large.”

    Customer: “It was delicious, but I don’t recommend eating your pets.”

    Me: “No, that would be pretty messed up.”

    (Luckily some people walked up to her table and she went to help. I wasn’t sure how to react to someone telling me they enjoy eating the pets I love.)

    Related:
    Suffering From A Reptile Dysfunction

    Can Make Your Head Swim

    | Stevens Point, WI, USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

    (At the call center I work at we get weird calls from people testing out the service all the time. Some include random trivia questions, about random subjects. We have to answer all questions seriously and try to get sources if we can.)

    Me: “Thank you for contacting [Company] Concierge. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Hi, I have a question.”

    (At this point I see he is calling in from Texas.)

    Me: “Certainly, I’ll do my best to answer any question you may have.”

    Customer: “Well, this is a serious question. Are you sure?”

    Me: “Anything at all. No need to be shy. What’s the question?”

    Customer: “Well… um… can deer swim?”

    Me: “Let me check for you, sir… Well, sir, I found a YouTube video of a deer swimming, and I’m watching it right now. So, yes. Deer can swim.”

    Customer: “For real?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, deer can swim.”

    Customer: “I just don’t believe it. I need to see it myself. Can you send me a link to that video?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. It will just take a second as I send that.”

    Customer: *slightly muffled* “Honey, sounds like deer can swim. I know. I can’t believe it.”

    The Service Industry Can Drive You Crazy

    | Tilton, NH, USA | Bizarre

    (We wear headsets at my work place to hear each other across the store. I tend to talk to myself while I put away clothes or tidy up, i.e. ‘Where do you go? How did you get on the floor?’ etc. This all happens over our headsets.)

    Manager: “So we just got a customer complaint that one of the girls putting away clothes was talking to herself.”

    Coworker: “Seriously?”

    Manager: “Seriously. This is not a joke.”

    Me: “So, that was me.”

    Coworker: “Great job, [My Name]. Way to scare the customers!”

    (Now every time I talk to myself at work, we joke that I should be careful or else someone will complain.)

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