November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Can’t Hold A Finger To His Complacency

| NY, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(I am in the waiting room at an urgent care facility. A young man in his 20s walks up to the receptionist, a bloody paper towel around one hand.)

Receptionist: “Is it still bleeding?”

Caller: “Yeah. I have it in a bag, see?”

(He then pulls out a plastic bag from a pocket, with the tip of his finger inside.)

Receptionist: “You need to go to the ER.”

Caller: “Aw, man, really?”

Receptionist: “Um, yes. Yes, you really do.”

(He only seemed mildly disappointed, but turned and calmly walked out of the office.)

Just Another Crappy Day At Work

| Golden, CO, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I work in the bakery, and a customer came in with a ‘unique’ request for a birthday cake order.)

Customer: “…so I need this cake to resemble a big dog turd. Can you guys do that?”

Me: “Don’t worry, sir; our decorator will make sure your cake looks like crap!”

Doesn’t Have It In The Bag

| North Vancouver, BC, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(I’m working as a cashier at a popular grocery store. A woman comes in my line with a shopping cart full of typical grocery items.)

Me: “Hi, there. How are you doing today?”

Customer: “I’m okay. I forgot my (reusable) bags at my house, though.”

Me: “That’s okay; it happens to us all.”

(The first thing on the belt is three 4-litre jugs of milk.)

Me: “Do you want bags for the milk?”

Customer: “Yes, please. And could you double bag it?”

(Next are a few things of meat products.)

Me: “Did you want the meat all in one bag?”

Customer: “No. I need the bacon in its own bag. And could you also separate the meat and seafood?”

Me: “Sure.”

(This keeps going throughout the transaction, wanting bread in one bag, the produce broken up into numerous bags, cleaning products in smaller bags before being put into bigger bags, and most of these being double bagged. At the end, there is a bag of chips left on the belt.)

Me: “Did you want this in its own bag?”

Customer: “Oh, no, thanks. I’m trying to cut down on the number of plastic bags.”

(I ended up using more bags than she had groceries.)

That’s My Name, Please Wear It Out

| London, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Funny Names

Me: “Hi, do you need assistance with your shopping?”

Customer: *stares at name badge* “Hi, [My Name]. How are you today?”

(I often get customers that call me by name when I greet them, which doesn’t bother me. I pack his bags.)

Customer: “Thank you for packing my bags, [My Name].”

Me: “No problem. That comes to [amount].”

Customer: “Thank you, [My Name].”

Me: “Are you paying by card or cash, sir?”

Customer: “Can I pay by card, please, [My Name]?”

Me: “Okay, if you would like to put your card into the card reader and follow the instructions?”

Customer: “Okay, [My Name].” *takes card and receipt* “Thank you, [My Name].”

(I start serving the next customer.)

Customer #2: “If you didn’t know your own name then I guess you do now!”

Making I Scream

| Maui, HI, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I work at a large national ice cream chain. Because corporate tries to be ‘fun,’ our service door says ‘Ice Cream Makers Only’ instead of Employees or Staff Only. One day, I see a man in an apron opening the door.)

Me: “Oh, please don’t go in there. It’s only for—”

Man: “Yup, I know, and I work at [Local Ice Cream Shop across the street].”

Me: “Fine, sir. You still can’t go in there.”

Man: “Chill, dude, we make our own ice cream. It’s not imported. I make the ice cream.”

Me: “Stop, please!”

(By now he has figured it out and is turning the handle.)

Me: *quickly locks the door*

Man: “LET ME IN! I deserve to be here!”

Me: “Please leave right now!”

Man: *banging on door* “NO! I AM ONE OF YOU!”