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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Things Just Got Weird

    | USA | Bizarre, Books & Reading

    (A teenage male comes in and asks for a book. After receiving it, he goes and stands in the middle of an open space, directly in my line of sight, and starts fidgeting and wiggling. He hasn’t checked out yet.)

    Him: “I’m not stealing anything, I swear.”

    (He’s been in my eyesight the whole time he’s been in the store and I know he hasn’t touched anything. The only books he passed by are huge coffee table books that he couldn’t hide in his current possessions.)

    Me: “I know you haven’t.”

    Him: “Well, I won’t. I swear. I’ll keep my hands right here!”

    (He thrusts his hands in his pockets, but only lasts a second before taking them back out and fidgeting around some more – hands in his hair, messing with his shirt, etc.)

    Me: “Do I need to be worried?”

    Him: “No, no… I’m just standing here because if I don’t… I’ll… do things.”

    Me: “Things?”

    Him: “Bad things…”

    (After about five minutes his dad came in and bought him a book on black magic. The kid said thank you and left. No inventory was missing.)

    Thankless And Helpless

    | Lexington, SC, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m wearing a red polo and khaki pants while walking around a store whose logo looks like a bulls-eye. I notice a woman is kicking a large stereo in a box down the main aisle heading to the registers with her foot and carrying her son in her arms.)

    Me: “Can I help you carry that?”

    Her: “YES! It’s about time someone offered to help!”

    (I am shocked as I pick up the box and follow her to the register.)

    Cashier: “Did you find everything all right?”

    Her: “No! I called for help for 15 minutes and no one showed up so I had to slide the box along the floor by myself. Then after I’ve been pushing this box for the last 10 minutes, this a***** FINALLY shows up to help!”

    Cashier: “Ma’am, he… he doesn’t work here.”

    Her: “Of course he does! He’s wearing your uniform!”

    Me: “No, I just happen to like the color red.”

    Her: “Well, you shouldn’t wear a red polo and khaki pants in [Store]!”

    (She stormed out of the store after putting her box in a buggy. I assumed some humility and a thank you would have been asking for too much.)

    Never Too Old To Live

    | OH, USA | Bizarre

    (An old man approaches me. I can’t remember the first thing he said to me because it made absolutely no sense.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, what was that?”

    (He puts out his fist to me. I’m unsure what to do for an awkward two seconds, then I put out my fist. He proceeds to fist bump me.)

    Old Man: “YOLO.”

    (He walks away as I stand there in shock.)

    Not A Game To Some People

    | MI, USA | Bizarre, Technology

    (I work at a video game store. Lots of random people wander in, especially people from the nail salon across the hall. One day an old lady walks in.)

    Me: “Could I help you find anything?”

    Customer: “Yes, do you have any used Josh Groban CDs?”

    Me: “Unfortunately not. You’d want to check the used CD/DVD store up the road for something like that.”

    Customer: *astonished by this revelation* “Then what the h*** is all this s***?!”

    Me: “Umm, video games. This is a game store.”

    Customer: “Video games? What the h*** has the world come to?!”

    (She gave a look of disapproval, and left angry.)

    Very Time (Un)Conscious

    | ON, Canada | Bizarre, Time

    (I am the receptionist for a chiropractor’s office. A patient had just phoned in to book an appointment.)

    Me: “Good Morning! Dr. [Name]’s office. How may I help you?”

    Patient: “Hi, yes, I’d like to book an appointment for this morning?”

    Me: “Sure thing. I have 10:00 am if that suits you?”

    Patient: “Eeeeeh, I need something earlier.”

    Me: “Well I also have 9:00 or 9:15.”

    Patient: “That’s too soon. I need to stop at the bank and stuff first.”

    Me: “Well… I might be able to get you in for 9:45.”

    Patient: “I guess I’ll just try that. I might be a little later though.”

    Me: “Well, I do still have that 10:00.”

    Patient: “No! That’s too late!”

    Me: “Okay…  We’ll see you then.”

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