Featured Story:
  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
    (2,850 thumbs up)
  • Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Not Cosplaying Around Any More

    | CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (I manage to get a job with one of my friends in a gas station on the north end of town, which is where a lot of the weirdest people are. My friend is entirely too trusting, and becomes friends with one of the homeless guys, an older veteran who rarely ever bathes. The guy hangs out with her when she has to work the evening shift by herself. I somehow get talked out of my phone number as well. One day I get a random text. It is a picture of a girl taking a selfie in the bathroom, having just applied makeup and a wig, with a weird border obviously added by a program.)

    Text: “Guess who this is?”

    (I’m confused, because I don’t know who would send me a text like that, so I check the sender. It’s the veteran, and after staring at the picture I realize it’s of my friend cosplaying.)

    Me: “Hey… [Friend]?”

    Friend: “Yeah?”

    Me: “Did you post any cosplaying pics on Facebook recently?”

    Friend: “Oh, yeah. I was working on applying the right amount of makeup to look like [Character] and posted it to get opinions. Why?”

    (I show her the message, and she goes slightly pale)

    Friend: “Who did this?!”

    Me: “[Veteran]. I take it he didn’t ask permission before probably sending this to every contact in his phone?”

    Friend: *even paler* “No.”

    Me: “And I imagine the picture didn’t have this weird border beforehand?”

    Friend: *barely audible* “No.”

    (Fast forward a couple hours, and the veteran drops by.)

    Veteran: “Hey, [Friend]! How you doing?”

    Friend: “Did you send my cosplay picture to all your friends?”

    Veteran: *looking proud of himself* “Yes! I thought it was really pretty!”

    Friend: “All of them?!”

    Veteran: *catching on to her tone* “Uh… yes?”

    (Long story short, he got lectured in the middle of the gas station while other customers looked on. Over the next few days all of his buddies showed up looking for my friend, several of them intoxicated and making not so nice comments about her, before they were kicked out!)

    Not A Fan Of Fairytales

    | Dubbo, NSW, Australia | Bigotry, Bizarre

    (My store has regular dress up days, and today is St Patrick’s Day. I go all out with a green wig, fairy skirt, stockings, and makeup. A male customer in his 60s stops me.)

    Customer: “Why are you green?”

    Me: “I’m a leprechaun!”

    Customer: “You’ll die soon then.”

    Me: “Why?!”

    Customer: “Leprechauns die at the end of the day!”

    Me: “Oh, how about an Irish fairy? Will I last longer then?”

    Customer: “Nah, because I’ll shoot you.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “I don’t mean real fairies. I mean the gays!”

    Me: “Oh. Well, I’m both, then. Have a nice day!”

    Time To Call It A Night

    | ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (I work the overnight shift. There is an older gentleman who says he can’t sleep at night so he often comes through my drive thru on his scooter to talk to someone. I feel bad for him at night and talk with him because there’s no way for him to get inside, but whenever I see him in the light of day he gets a lot creepier. It’s about 6:30 in the morning when I’m leaving work. My dad has come in to offer me a ride home when the customer rides into the parking lot.)

    Customer: *yelling across the parking lot to my dad* “Where are you going?! That’s my night time girlfriend!”

    Bound(ary) To Serve

    | Canberra, ACT, Australia | Bizarre, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (We have a regular that comes in every Wednesday or Thursday night. This time, I’m on the register when he comes in. I am female, wearing a knee-length tunic over linen pants as it’s high summer and very warm.)

    Customer: *without saying hello* “Are you pregnant?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “I was wondering if you were pregnant. Are you?”

    Me: “I don’t see how it’s any of your business, but no.”

    Customer: “It’s just that I had a haircut today, and my hairdresser was wearing a similar outfit to you. She was four months pregnant and got angry at me because I didn’t notice or say anything. So now I’m wondering, do all women wear what you wear when they’re pregnant?”

    Me: “I’m not sure why your hairdresser had such a strong reaction, but I’m pretty sure most women are wearing what I’m wearing right now because its 45 degrees celsius outside and not because it’s a secret code that we’re reproducing.”

    Customer: “Oh, good point. Sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude by asking personal questions.”

    (The very next week, he returns and again walks right up to the register.)

    Customer: “Do you have a boyfriend?”

    Me: *sigh* “Yes.”

    Customer: “Are you going to marry him?”

    Me: “Okay, sir, I think we need to have a quiet chat about boundaries…”

    Moved On And Far Away

    | Canberra, ACT, Australia | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (A colleague of mine has just gotten a job as an editor and left us, but she and I keep in touch as we are good friends. I am working in the shop when this happens but we both live in the area. Please note: she is very tall and good-looking. A customer comes in, does a few laps, and then comes up to me.)

    Customer: “Where is [Colleague]?”

    Me: “I’m afraid she’s moved on, sir. She doesn’t work here anymore. Can I help you?”


    (Before I can answer, he storms out, enraged. I call my colleague on her mobile.)

    Me: “Did you say you were having dinner out tonight?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I’m just two doors down from you actually. Why?”

    Me: “When you’re done, don’t walk to the parking lot by yourself.”

    Page 38/152First...3637383940...Last