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  • October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Not So Closed Minded, Part 7

    | Australia | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    (Near the end of my night shift I have been held up. The doors are smashed to pieces, there are at least four police cars on the forecourt (including the dog unit), several police in the store and crime scene tape across the entrance. While being interviewed by a detective I notice a regular walking up to the door.)

    Policeman: “You can’t go in there, ma’am.

    (He is on the other side of the forecourt, too far away to stop her. The customer ignores him and moves the cones.)

    Policeman: “Ma’am! You can’t go in. They’re closed.”

    (She ignores him again, ducks under the tape and weaves her way through the shattered glass past two more shocked policemen. After picking up the newspaper she walks to the counter.)

    Manager: “We’re closed.”

    Customer: “Oh. Really? Why?”

    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 6
    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 5
    Not Very Closed Minded, Part 4

    Demanding To A Fault(line)

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (It is a typical day at the ‘upscale’ grocery store I work at, in the bakery section. An older gentleman walks up.)

    Customer: “I’ll have one brownie, please.”

    (Right as he orders, the ground begins to shake. Glass bottles are clinking on the shelves, signs are swinging. It is pretty obvious we are having an earthquake which is not a normal occurrence in my state. It only lasts about 20 seconds but I stand there in shock for a few more before looking back at the customer.)

    Me: “Woah, that was crazy. Never felt anything like that before. Do you think that was an earthquake or what?”

    Customer: *looks at me with a completely straight face and says in a very loud voice, enunciating each syllable very clearly* “I. Said. One. Brownie. Please.”

    (I gave him his brownie and he walked away like nothing ever happened with the signs above his head still swinging…)

    Flamingoing From Bad To Worse

    | Lexington, KY, USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

    (I am a cashier on register with no one in my line. The phone rings:)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

    (There is an obviously drunk woman on phone:)

    Caller: “Do you sell flamingos?”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I didn’t hear that. Could you say it again?”

    Caller: “A flamingo! Do you sell flamingos?”

    Me: “You mean the pink bird at the zoo?”

    Caller: “Yes, flamingos! Do you sell flamingos?”

    (At this point a customer comes up to my register.)

    Me: “No ma’am; we do not sell flamingos or any other kind of exotic animal. I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.”

    Caller: “Too bad. What about giraffes?”

    Me: “Tell you what. Call back when you are sober. I have a customer waiting.” *click*

    Customer: “Did they seriously ask for a flamingo?”

    Me: “Yep, and a giraffe. Sorry you had to wait.”

    Customer: “You do know it’s rush week, right?”

    (There are no less than six universities in the city. Rush week is when freshmen pledge to a sorority or fraternity and have to do challenges to get in.)

    Me: “Oh, no! Thanks for the warning.”

    (I let my manager know. We got ten similar calls that day, and more the rest of the week.)

    In The Wrong Holding Position

    | Glasgow, Scotland, UK | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    Me: “Good evening. Thank you for calling [Company]. [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?

    Caller: “Oh, wrong number.” *hangs up*

    (To have gotten through to me the customer would have had to have waited on hold for 10 minutes, listening to repeated adverts FOR the company and also selected an option to speak with me. I still have no idea how she didn’t realise sooner.)

    Child’s Play And Slay

    | PA, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids

    (At an interactive show meant primarily for little kids, the show follows the good guys tracking a bad guy. Near the end, they catch the bad guy and ask the audience what they should do next. This gets the kids excited to chime in. All of the kids here are under 10 years old.)

    Announcer: “Okay, kids! What should we do with the bad guy now?”

    Girl: “Tell his mommy!”

    Announcer: “Okay, let’s tell his mommy on him! What else?”

    Boy #1: “Kill him!”

    Announcer: “What?!”

    Boy #2: “EAT HIM!”

    Announcer: “Okay, we are DEFINITELY not eating him. That’s illegal.”

    Boy #3: “SET HIM ON FIRE!”

    Announcer: “What do your parents let you watch?!”

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