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  • Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    How To Kiss Problem Customers Goodbye

    | IN, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Rude & Risque

    (I normally take my lunch break when my husband gets off work. Today is a really busy day and I’m not getting my lunch break, so my husband has approached me at my checkout line. I give my husband a hug and quick peck on the cheek and say goodbye. I turn to my next customer.)

    Customer: “Where’s mine?”

    Me: “Your what?”

    Customer: *very serious* “My hug and kiss. He got one. I want one, too.”

    Me: “Oh! I only hug and kiss the customers I’m married to.”

    Customer: *disgusted* “Well, that’s not good customer service. I wanted a hug and kiss!”

    (A coworker then decides to step in. He’s a big guy about 6″ tall and very heavy.)

    Coworker: “Well, it would be a shame to let you leave unhappy.”

    Customer: “I know. It’s not fair that she kisses other men but won’t give me one!”

    Coworker: “I’ll take care of that for you.”

    (My coworker walks towards the customer with his arms out.)

    Coworker: “Let me show her what customer service is. I’ll take care of that hug and kiss.”

    Customer: “Uh… No, thanks!” *walks quickly to the front register*

    Coworker: *to me* “What about my hug and kiss?”

    Me: *smirks* “What about that marriage proposal?”

    Mother Is On The Job

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

    (My workplace provides career advice for youth and young adults. We sometimes have parents come in to ask for help. However, these parents didn’t think to bring their kid with them.)

    Mother: *walking up to the reception desk* “Are companies even hiring students?”

    Me: “Uhm… yes. Yes, they are. It’s summer – there are a lot of seasonal positions to fill.”

    Mother: “But my son can’t find a job.”

    Me: *looking behind her to try to spot her son* “It can take a little bit to find something. Has he come in to see us yet?”

    Mother: “No, he doesn’t want to.”

    Me: “Well, it would be a good first step. Does he have a resume yet? Has he written cover letters before?”

    Mother: “He’s got a resume, but I write his cover letters for him.”

    Me: *hoping I heard her wrong* “I’m sorry? You write them for him?”

    Mother: “Yeah, or he wouldn’t do it!”

    Me: “Well, he really has to be the one to write them; it’s not a good situation if the employer is under the impression your son is writing them when he’s not.”

    Mother: “Oh, I tell them.”

    Me: “Sorry?”

    Mother: “I write, ‘I’m writing on behalf of my 16-year-old son, who is in need of a job.’ They know it’s not him. He doesn’t know I’m applying to jobs for him.”

    Me: “…”

    Mother: *becoming irate* “He needs a job!”

    Me: “I understand, ma’am. But you can’t apply to jobs for your son. He has to apply for them himself.”

    Mother: “But he won’t apply on his own! All he does is sit on his a**s in the basement and play video  games!”

    Me: *trying to sound professional* “Ma’am, have you considered banning him from playing games until he applies for jobs?”

    Mother: *affronted* “I can’t do that to my son! That would be cruel! He just needs a job!”

    Me: “Well, I’m sorry, ma’am. I can’t give him a job. He has to go out and earn one for himself.”

    Mother: “Fine, then.”

    (She turned to leave and I noticed her husband had been face-palming behind her, shaking his head in shame.)

    Hasn’t Got A Printed Leg To Stand On

    | Washington, DC, USA | Bigotry, Bizarre

    (I work at a clothing store that sells ‘club’ clothes and party dresses. I am one of the only white girls that works here.)

    Customer: “Do you work here?”

    Me: “Yeah. What can I help you with?”

    Customer: “Do you know where… Oh, never mind. You probably don’t know.”

    Me: “Uh… I know where mostly everything is. What is it you’re looking for?”

    Customer: “Never mind. I’ll find it myself!”

    (The customer storms off. A few minutes go by, and the customer approaches one of my African-American coworkers.)

    Customer: “Hey, do you have printed leggings?”

    Coworker: “No, we don’t carry those.”

    Customer: “Well, your white coworker told me you have them!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you wouldn’t even let me answer you. I know we don’t have them.”

    Customer: “Ugh, whatever.” *storms out again*

    Me: *to coworker* “What just happened?”

    Coworker: “You just witnessed racism.”

    Hair + Arm = Harem

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

    (My uniform exposes my arms that, for a woman, are hairy.)

    Customer: “Wow, you have hairy arms.”

    Me: *embarrassed* “Um, yeah.”

    Customer: “I love women with hairy arms.”

    (He grabs my arm and feels it. I am shocked, and start backing away from him.)

    Customer: “Would you like to join my harem of hairy women?”

    (At that point I abandoned my post and ran to my manager. When we came back the customer was gone.)

    A Slave To Fashion

    | New London, CT, USA | Bizarre, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

    (A male customer in his late 40s comes into the store and asks if we have any dresses. Thinking that he is shopping for someone else, I show him a few dresses.)

    Customer: “Thanks! My name is Bonny.”

    (He starts telling me his life story. After what feels like an age…)

    Customer: “Do you get a lot of cross-dressers in the store?”

    Me: “We get one or two.”

    (I take him to a fitting room so he can try on the dresses.)

    Customer: “I am going to a school to learn how to be a cross-dresser. I have special ‘teachers.’ According to them, I have to call you ‘Mistress.’ And if I am doing anything bad, you have to punish me however you see fit.”

    (I was freaked out. He then came back out to show me his ‘outfit’ that included tights, high heels, a dress, purse, and sparkle jewelry that I had to put on him. After I had to put the necklace and bracelet on him, he then curtsied to me. It was the freakiest thing that happened to me. He also curtsied for my manager and coworker. But he never bought anything; he just wanted to dress up in our clothes.)

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