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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    The Not So Smooth Path To A Smoothie

    | Charlotte, NC, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I work at a coffee shop that also sells smoothies. On the smoothie menu board there is a note saying all smoothies come with a banana, protein, etc.)

    Customer: “Hi, I’d like two strawberry smoothies and these bananas please.”

    Me: “Sure thing. Would you like a bag for your bananas today?”

    Customer: “No, could you actually add them to the smoothies for me?”

    Me: “All smoothies come with a banana. Did you want to add an extra banana?”

    Customer: “Oh, no, I thought the sign meant we had to purchase our own bananas for the smoothies.”

    (I give him a refund for the bananas and he leaves happily while my crew and I try to hold back laughter.)

    The Art Of Listening Is Out Of Print

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    (A customer approaches me, holding a USB drive.)

    Me: “Hello! Got some printing to do today, I see. From your USB drive, there?”

    Customer: “Hello! I need to print something from my USB drive!”

    (I assume she didn’t hear all of what I said, hence repeating the bit about the USB drive, and continue.)

    Me: “Alrighty, no worries! We’ll go over to the PC here and print. Will it be black and white, or color printing?”

    Customer: “Black and white, and then I need to fax the pages.”

    Me: “Sure thing! I’ll print them for you, and then you can use our self-serve fax machine by the wall there.”

    Customer: “Okay!”

    (The customer accepts her copies, and then continues to stand and look at me.)

    Me: “So, you’re all set! Here’s your USB drive back.”

    Customer: “I need to fax these.”

    (By now I’m beginning to notice a trend. Apparently the customer doesn’t pay any attention to what I’m saying even when she’s asked a question.)

    Me: “The fax machine is self-serve, ma’am, and it’s by that wall there. We also keep pens by the fax machine if you need to use one.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay! But… have you got a pen I can borrow?”

    (I repeat myself. Again.)

    Me: “Ma’am, the pens are next to the fax machine which is by that wall. Just walk right down this counter and you’ll see the machine.”

    (The customer sends her fax, then comes back to pay.)

    Customer: “Can I check out here?”

    Me: “Sure! Your total today is [price].”

    (Just to be safe, I rephrase the total and repeat it to her, given how much attention she paid to everything I said before.)

    Me: “That’s [total].”

    (The customer puts her purse on the counter and rummages around a minute.)

    Customer: “Wait, how much did you say it was?”

    Selling Out Is Selling Out

    | OH, USA | Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    (I work in an electronics store that has been having a huge sale on TVs. One customer calls asking about a model that we just sold out of.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. We’re sold out of that model right now.”

    Caller: “Oh, that’s too bad.”

    (At this point I hear a noise in the background. It sounded like someone shouting.)

    Background: “What’s wrong?”

    Caller: “They don’t have any.”

    Background: “Why not? It’s in the ad!”

    Caller: “They sold out.”

    Background: “What?! Why did they do that?”

    Caller: “Why did the- What?”

    (He makes several noises, as if he’s struggling to understand her question. He apparently fails.)

    Background: “Why did they sell them all?”

    Caller: “Seriously? That’s what they DO! They sell things!”

    Background: “ALL of them?”

    Caller: “YES!”

    Background: “Well, that doesn’t make any sense!”

    (This goes on for another 10 MINUTES, and I am unable to will myself to hang up. Three coworkers and two managers have also picked up the line and listen as well, before the call abruptly drops, much to everyone’s disappointment.)

    The Gift Of Friendship

    | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    Customer: “I am going to pay with a gift card.”

    Me: “Okay, swipe it there.”

    Customer: *swipes gift card*

    Me: “Would you like me to take the gift card for you? There’s nothing left on it.”

    Customer: “No, I like to keep them on my desk.”

    Me: “Okay…”

    Customer: “I keep them on my desk because when I invite my friends over, I see who’s really my friend. If the gift card is still there when they leave, they are a true friend. If not, I know to have a shotgun waiting for them when they come back!”

    Me: “… Good idea?”

    Not One’s Cup Of Tea

    | Brisbane, QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I am waiting in line at a petrol station that sells coffees, snacks, and other small grocery items as well as petrol. The customer in front of me is speaking to the cashier.)

    Customer: “I just want two tea bags, please.”

    Cashier: “Do you mean you want two teas to go?”

    Customer: “No, I just want to pay for two tea bags on their own.”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry. We can’t just sell you individual tea bags. We have boxes of 20 tea bags over on the shelves that you can buy.”

    Customer: *getting annoyed* “I don’t understand. Can’t you just take two tea bags from the box and sell them to me?”

    Cashier: “No, we can’t do that.”

    (The customer turns to me with a look of disbelief on her face.)

    Customer: *to me* “Why can’t they just sell me two tea bags?!”

    Me: “Because they don’t have individual tea bags as an item in their computer system so they can’t just charge you for this arbitrary item. They are not items that are for sale individually.”

    Customer: “Ugh! Who asked you, anyway?!”

    Me: “Uh, YOU did.”

    (The customer leaves in a huff while shooting me a dirty look.)

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