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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Unhappy Holidays

    | Canada | Bizarre, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m sitting at my position, working for a well-known religious charity. I am collecting donations to fund their various charitable programs. A customer walks by.)

    Customer: “Merry Christmas!”

    Me: “Merry Christmas!”

    Customer: “You aren’t allowed to say that!” *walks away*

    Terminate This Purchase

    , , , | Calgary, AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    Me: “Did you find everything you were looking for?”

    Customer: “Oh, yes. Absolutely.”

    (I realize the customer is buying three things. A pack of water pistols, lighter fluid, and matches.)

    Me: “Um… This is an interesting purchase.”

    Customer: “Yeah, there’s a wasp infestation in my garage. Figured this is easier than an exterminator.”

    Some Customers Are Just Worth Recording

    , | Cupertino, CA, USA | Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Technology

    (I’m working in the drive-thru.)

    Me: “Hi. Welcome to [restaurant]; what can I get for you today?”

    Customer: “Are… are you a recording?”

    Me: “Yup. I’m absolutely a prerecorded message to take your order and make your day just a little brighter!”

    Customer: “Oh. Well… I’ll have [order].”

    (The customers drive up to the window to pay. I look at them amusingly.)

    Me: “Am I a recording?”

    Customer: *laughs* “Sorry. You were just so chipper that we thought you were a recording!”

    Me: *chuckles* “It’s no problem. I’ve been up for three hours already and I’m loaded up on caffeine! Anyway, your order comes out to [total].”

    Customer: “Okay. So, if I drive off right now, do you get to keep the change?”

    Me: “Umm… That hasn’t happened before, so… maybe?”

    Customer: “Okay. Well, have a great day, then!”

    (The customers drive up to the next window to pick up their food. They very kindly leave me with a $15 tip!)

    You Can Count On Some Customers

    | Australia | Awesome Customers, Bizarre

    (We have a few regulars in the store that we give nicknames. There is one middle-aged man who often wears a long black cloak with a high collar. He speaks with a thick Transylvanian-sounding accent, so I refer to him as ‘The Count.’)

    The Count: “Hellooooo, daaaahliiing. Do you have any more of zese glasses?”

    (I go out to the back and find another box. We’ve had a few problems with boxes being sent to us with broken pieces inside. I open it to show the customer all of them are fine.)

    The Count: “Ahhhh, yes. Zey are very nice. And, let’s see…”

    (He points at each in turn like ‘The Count’ from Sesame Street.)

    The Count: “1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6! They’re all there! Ah, ha, ha!”

    (He takes the box out of my hands and goes to the counter with a sweep of his cloak. I guess some people live up to their nicknames!)

    Maybe She Is Buying Lemongrass

    | KA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

    (I work at a grocery store. I have just finished ringing up a customer who bought a few food items and some plants.)

    Me: “Okay. That will be [amount].”

    Customer: “Do you think I should get paper or plastic for my plant?”

    Me: “Either one will work, ma’am. Which one would you prefer?”

    Customer: “You’re just a sourpuss. Aren’t you?”

    Me: “I’m sorry. What are you saying?”

    Customer: “You’re such a sourpuss. I just asked you a simple question. You’re being so rude to me!”

    (The customer grunts and walks over to the customer service desk. I overhear her talking to my manager.)

    Customer: “That girl over there is a SOURPUSS! A SOURPUSS, I TELL YOU!”

    (The manager comes back and delivers the items to the customer. She walks out the door with a sneer on her face.)

    Customer: *screaming as she leaves* “SOURPUSS!”


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