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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Solving Difficult Number Tables

    | London, England, UK | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (The coffee shop I work in has a policy for customers to order their hot food from the tills, by providing their table number. Every table has its own individual number super-glued firmly to it. My coworker calls a customer to her counter.)

    Coworker: “Hello there, are you ordering food today?”

    Customer: “Yes, here’s our table number.”

    (The customer then HANDS OVER the number plate that was super-glued to the table.)

    Coworker: “Did you take this off of the table?”

    Customer: “Yes! It was really stuck on there though!”

    (I’ve never seen anyone take this policy quite so literally.)

    Makes You Want To Run A Mile In No One’s Shoes

    | Kent, WA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (I’m working alone at a smaller store in a well-known local chain. Only two of the 20 locations in the state sell shoes, but people always ask. I’m ringing up a customer when the phone rings.)

    Me: “Sorry, I have to grab that.”

    Customer: “Okay! No problem.”

    Me: “Thank you for calling [store] in Kent; how can I help you?”

    (Silence.)

    Me: “Hello, you’ve reached [store] in Kent.”

    Caller: *screaming* “HI, DO YOU GUYS HAVE SHOES?”

    Me: “Sorry, no, the only stores that have shoes are [location] and [location].”

    Caller: “ARE YOU SURE?”

    Me: “…yeah, you have to go to either [location] or [location] if you want shoes.”

    Caller: “I DON’T LIKE THAT ANSWER.”

    Me: “Sorry, but that’s the only one I have for you. Anything else I can do for you tonight?”

    Caller: “NEVER TALK TO ME AGAIN! UGH!” *click*

    Me: “Well, okay then…”

    Customer: *laughing* “Sounds like you’re having a great night so far!”

    The Generation Size Gap

    | Hampshire, England, UK | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (I’m standing near the front of the store, greeting customers as they come in. An elderly gentleman enters with a walking stick.)

    Me: “Hello.” *smiling*

    Customer: *suddenly frowning* “GOOD GOD! GOOD GOD!”

    Me: “Are you okay?”

    Customer: “GOOD GOD!” *raises stick and pokes me in the stomach with it* “Would you look at that?! You could live for years! Forever in that body!”

    Me: “Erm, thanks?!”

    Customer: “No! I mean you must be one of those genetic throwbacks! You don’t get trim girls anymore. Girls these days are FAT FAT FAT! I bet you could even run if you needed to!”

    Me: “Sometimes I run; I mostly just eat healthy really.”

    Customer: “GOOD GOD! I must go and get Marjorie from the CD shop and show you to her! GOOD GOD!”

    (He turns and leaves, but never does return. Not even with Marjorie.)

    If A Tree Falls In A Dollar Store…

    | OK, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (I work in a dollar store that has a lot of varying inventory. It’s not uncommon for people to come in and ask me if we have received a particular item in on the truck.)

    Me: “Did you find everything you were looking for today?”

    Customer: “Yes I did. I love coming in here and seeing all the new stuff you get. But I have a question.”

    Me: “Sure, if I can’t answer it I’m sure I can find someone who can.”

    Customer: “If I’m looking for something and I can’t find it, is it free?”

    Me: “I would suppose so. If we don’t have it, I can’t charge you for buying it.”

    Customer: “So if I look around and I do find it?”

    Me: “Then you found it and it’s no longer free.”

    (The customer thinks for a second while I finish ringing him up, pays, and turns back to me as he’s walking out.)

    Customer: “You win this round; can I go home now?”

    Me: “I assume so; I’m not stopping you.”

    (The customer walks out happy as can be.)

    Moments You Wish You Had A Camera For

    , | Sacramento, CA, USARetail, Office Supply Store | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (My store sells desks and other office furniture. A customer who recently purchased a desk comes marching into the store, looking angry.)

    Customer: “YOUR COMPANY IS SPYING ON ITS CUSTOMERS!”

    Coworker: “What?”

    Customer: “You’re spying on your customers!”

    Coworker: “How do you figure?”

    Customer: “I just bought a desk from you guys, and on the instructions it says there’s a ‘hidden cam’ I’m supposed to install!”

    Coworker: “Sir, a cam-screw is just a type of screw. This one’s called a hidden cam because after you build everything, you won’t be able to see the screw any more.”

    Customer: “No, it’s a camera! You’re trying to steal information about people, and sell it to the government!”

    Coworker: “Sir, why would my company waste hundreds of thousands of dollars sneaking cameras into desks, cameras that are covered up by other pieces of the furniture and pointed at the floor?”

    Customer: “Well they could be listening in on my conversations!”

    Me: “Wouldn’t it be called a ‘hidden mic,’ then?”

    Coworker: “And why would we go so far as to clearly label the hidden cam as a hidden cam?”

    Customer: *leaves, defeated*


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