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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Not Their Number One Flavor

    | USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (We can do urinalysis testing for anyone, for any reason. A client comes in with his mom, carrying a Gatorade bottle. He puts the bottle on my desk.)

    Client: “Can you test this?”

    (I realize that the bottle is filled with urine. Normally we have to supervise the test being taken, but his mom says it’s fine and his testing is voluntary anyway. I shrug and take the sample into the back to process it, and throw the bottle away in a biohazard bag. I come back to my desk.)

    Me: “Alright, the lab will test the sample, and you guys are good to go.”

    (The mom leaves, but the client just stands there.)

    Me: “Um, is there something else you need?”

    Client: “Can I have my water bottle back?”

    Selective Stealing

    | Portugal | Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal, Money

    (I’m attending to a client that has her bag and other stuff on the counter, and has to fill out some forms.)

    Me: “Do you mind if I attend to another client while you fill out the forms?”

    Client #1: “Sure!”

    (I call another client, and she has to fill out some forms as well, so my mother returns to Client #1.)

    Me: “All done. That will be €5.50.”

    Client #1: “Where’s my money?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

    Client #1: “I had my money right here in the counter, and it’s gone!”

    (We both look for the money, trying to figure out if it has fallen to the floor. Suddenly I look at Client #2, and realize what has happened.)

    Me: *to Client #2* “Ma’am, did you take the money that was on the counter?”

    Client #2: *after a long pause* “Yes, I did.”

    Client #1: “Why on earth would you do that?!”

    Client #2: “Well, I didn’t know it was yours; I thought it was hers!” *points to me*

    Me: “So that would make it okay?!”

    Client #2: *happily* “Exactly!”

    They Have No Drive

    , | Markham, ON, Canada | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Themed Giveaway

    (I am working in the drive-thru window. I am talking to a customer and we both notice a group of four young teens WALKING down the drive-thru lane.)

    Customer: *laughs* “Don’t you love how silly kids are? Well, good night!”

    (The customer leaves, and the teens approach the drive-thru window.)

    Teen: “Yea, hi. I want to order.”

    Me: “Yea, sorry. Unfortunately I can’t serve you here unless you are in a car. You are welcome to come inside though.”

    Teen: “What are you talking about? We are in a car, see! I’m the driver holding the wheel.” *holds imaginary wheel* “And my passengers!” *points at his three friends*

    Me: “Sorry, but unless you can crash your car and dent my wall. I can’t serve you here.”

    Teen: “Okay!” *makes screeching noises* “CRASH!”

    She’s A Little Girl With A Round Tummy

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Movies & TV

    (I am quite short, with short, bright red hair. I am in the middle of taking the table’s order.)

    Customer: “Which red-headed celebrity do you remind me of?”

    Me: “I’m not sure, sorry. Scarlett Johansson in The Avengers, maybe?”

    Customer: “No, not her.”

    Me: “Cal Wilson? She’s got short red hair as well.”

    Customer: “No, that’s not it.”

    (I suggest a couple of other possibilities, but she rejects them. Unable to work it out, I finish taking their order, then continue going about my business. About half an hour later, she flags me down.)

    Customer: “I’ve worked out who it is!”

    Me: “Oh, right, who is it?”

    Customer: “Ponyo!”

    Me: “…”

    No Further Steps Were Taken

    | Wales, UK | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (Some of our storage space consists of large cupboards in the walls above our displays. I am standing at the top of a ladder checking a cupboard for stock, when I vaguely overhear an older woman talking to someone behind me.)

    Customer: “…see if he notices.”

    (The customer proceeds to shake the bottom of the ladder I’m standing on, then speaks to the man she is with.)

    Customer: “I wonder if he’ll get scared?”

    Me: “Um, hi. Did you want me to move the ladder out of the way?”

    Customer: “No, I was just wondering if you’d notice.”

    Me: “I did notice. And you’d certainly have noticed if I’d landed on your head…”


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