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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    This Stuff Shouldn’t Phase(r) You Any More

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (In our store we order our products by scanning the shelf labels with a device that shoots a laser to read the barcode. I’m in the refrigerated juice section of the store and have just scanned a label when a middle-aged customer walks up to me.)

    Customer: “Excuse me. Did you just do what I think you did?”

    Me: “I’m just ordering something.”

    Customer: *wide-eyed* “Did you just taser that orange juice?”

    (I look at the scanner in my hand.)

    Me: “Um, if you mean I scanned it, then, I guess so.”

    Customer: “Well, it looks like it’s not moving so it must have worked. Great job!”

    (After the customer happily wanders away my coworker, who saw the whole thing, comes up to me)

    Coworker: “Maybe you should set it to ‘stun’ next time.”

    Fingers Crossed You’ll Find A Solution

    | RetailProvidence, RI, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids

    (It’s been a long night and our store has given its 15 minute alert for customers to check out before we close the registers. I work in the children’s department and am watching a boy about eight years of age standing at the underwear display looking around nervously and fidgeting.)

    Boy’s Mother: *walks over* “What are you doing?”

    Boy: *whispers something, causing his mother to go red in the face*

    Mother: “Are you SERIOUS? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? Do you have any common sense at ALL?!”

    (The boy hangs his head as his mother takes a breath. I turn to leave thinking he confessed a wrongdoing to his mom so it wasn’t my business. I’m stopped by a tap on the shoulder.)

    Me: “Yes, ma’am?”

    Mother: “I’m sorry to bug you, but… my son’s finger is stuck in a hole in the display.”

    Me: “Really?”

    Mother: “Yes, sorry about that.”

    Me: *lifting up my walkie talkie* “[Boss]? I have a little boy with his finger stuck in the underwear display… It’s turning purple and I need assistance.

    Boss: “Very funny.”

    Me: *seriously* “No… really.”

    Boss: “Oh, GOD!”

    (Half the store and both managers came to help. It took a mixture of butter substitute, hand sanitizer, and neosporin to save the finger!)

    Stupidity Is Not To Be Sniffed At

    | UK | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (A customer comes to the till and orders a tea and a coffee. I make it and take it over to them. Two minutes later the customer is back.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, you gave us the wrong drinks.”

    Me: “Tea and coffee was it?”

    Customer: “Yes”

    Me: “That’s what I gave you.”

    Customer: “But you gave it to us the wrong way round.”

    Me: “Sorry, but can’t you swap them?”

    Customer: “Well, no. She has already smelt it.”

    Not Cut Out For This Job

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Bizarre

    (It’s almost the end of a very long shift at the sample table and I’m exhausted. I guess I’ve just started to shut down, because I’m quiet and sort of zoned, but when I see a customer approaching I start back up.)

    Me: “Hi, would you like to try any samples today?”

    Customer: *leaps about a foot into the air* “I thought you were one of those cardboard people!”

    Repeated Lottery Numbers

    , | Australia | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

    (I’ve been working here for two years and never been jokingly asked for the lotto numbers before.)

    Me: “Is there anything else today?”

    Customer #1: “The winning lotto numbers?”

    Me: “Aha, sir, if I had them I doubt I’d be working here.”

    (The customer laughs and walks away. About six hours later I’m serving someone else.)

    Me: “Anything else?”

    Customer #2: “Oh, yes, I’d also like the winning lotto numbers!”

    Me: *pause* “Huh. You know, that’s the second time I’ve been asked that today!”

    Customer #2: “Ha, weird. So do you have them?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I gave them to the first guy. It wouldn’t be fair to tell you as well.”

    Customer #2: “Touché.”

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