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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    To Kill A Flirtation

    | USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Books & Reading, Family & Kids, Pets & Animals

    (A man has just brought his two dogs in, named Scout and Atticus.)

    Me: “Your dogs are so cute and sweet!”

    Owner: “Oh, thanks!”

    Me: “I love their names! To Kill a Mockingbird is my favorite book! It’s a shame your last name isn’t Finch. Haha!”

    Owner: “Yeah… It’s also my wife’s favorite. My VERY pregnant wife. And three kids.”

    Me: “Oh, that’s nice.”

    Owner: “Yeah. I’m married. And I have three kids.”

    Me: “O… kay…”

    (Once the owner leaves, my boss starts cracking up.)

    Boss: “[My Name]! Stop hitting on our clients!”

    Me: “I wasn’t! I was just being nice!”

    Boss: “Oh, my God. That was hilarious.”

    Me: “But… I was just being polite and making conversation!”

    (After that, I was a little more careful with whom I struck up a conversation. The man and his family are now regular clients. I’m glad I didn’t scare them off!)

    With A Side Order Of Hypocrisy

    | ID, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (It’s my first night shift at my new job. Two customers come in at around 9 pm.)

    Me: “Hi. Welcome to [Restaurant]. How can I help you?”

    Customer #1: “Can I have a chicken sandwich?”

    Customer #2: “Ugh. Don’t do that! All the food here is crap! It’s CRAP! You’ll get FAT!”

    Me: *awkwardly* “So… would you like—”

    Customer #2: “It isn’t real food here, anyway. It’s all processed and fake!”

    Customer #1: “Are you getting something or not?”

    Customer #2: “Yeah.” *to me* “Gimme two double cheeseburgers and a medium fry.”

    Kiss-mas Time

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (My grandmother has taken me to work. She buys a shirt before leaving. Before she goes she gives me a kiss goodbye. I start ringing up another customer.)

    Me: “Okay, that’s $20.”

    (The customer hands me the money and leans over counter with his lips puckered.)

    Me: “Uh, sir? What are you doing?”

    Customer: “The other lady got a kiss. I want one too!”

    Me: “That was my grandmother.”

    Customer: “So what? I’m good looking! KISS ME!”

    (My boss walks over after seeing the whole thing.)

    Boss: “You need to go.”

    Customer: “Oh come on. Not even for Christmas?”

    Boss: “LEAVE!”

    Trying To Put Her Stamp On Christmas

    | England, UK | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (It is close to Christmas. We sell postage stamps, but as we are not a post office we only sell them in books.)

    Customer: “Hi. I’ve got these Christmas cards to post. I need fourteen stamps, please.”

    Me: “That’s fine. I have books of 6 first-class or 12 second-class.”

    Customer: “14 second-class then, please.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. We only sell second-class stamps in books of 12.”

    Customer: “Yes. I need 14 stamps, please.”

    Me: “Okay. So, 2 books of second-class stamps will be [amount].”

    Customer: “What! That seems a lot of money for 14 stamps.”

    Me: “No, madam. That is for 24 stamps. We only sell them in books of 12.”

    Customer: “But I only want 14!”

    Me: “We are not a post-office, madam. We only sell stamps in books of 6 first-class or 12 second-class. In order to get 14 stamps you will have to buy two books. Will you not be able to use the rest at a later date? If it’s a real problem there is a post office just around the corner which will be open in the morning.”

    Customer: “No. I need 14 stamps”.

    (This goes on for some time. She eventually twigs, and buys one book of 12 stamps. We saw her talking to a colleague of ours outside. It turns out she was setting off to walk three miles to drop off the other two cards so she didn’t need the postage! This was about three weeks before Christmas. Goodness knows why she couldn’t wait for the post office to open.)

    The High Point Of Black Friday

    | ME, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a chocolatier. We’ve opened at midnight for our Black Friday sale. My job is to greet shoppers as they come in and offer everyone a sample. By 4 am I’m exhausted from the rush. A customer comes in. He is red faced, and wearing a shirt several sizes too small.)

    Customer: “Hey. You know what? I’ve always thought you guys should sell chocolate belly buttons!”

    Me: “Um… I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “You should sell chocolate belly buttons!”

    (The customer takes a sample, and then leaves. I turn to my manager.)

    Me: “What was that?”

    Manager: “Oh, he was definitely high. Welcome to Black Friday sales!”


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