Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Very Time (Un)Conscious, Part 2

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Bizarre, Time

Me: “Hi, it’s [My Name] from [Store]. I’m just calling to let you know your special order has arrived, and you can pick that up at your convenience.”

Customer: “Can I come in tomorrow afternoon?”

Me: “Absolutely! Whenever it’s convenient for you. We’ll see you then!”

Customer: “But what time?”

Me: “Whenever you wish, sir. We close at six tomorrow, if that helps.”

Customer: “But I want to come before then! Can’t I come in the afternoon?”

Me: “Absolutely! You don’t have to make an appointment. We’ll hold it as long as you need us to. We won’t sell it or send it back, I promise. You’ve already paid in full, so it’s yours.”

Customer: “But what TIME should I come?”

Me: *giving up* “How about two?”

Customer: “Two in the afternoon?”

Me: “Yes.”

Customer: “Tomorrow?”

Me: “Yes. Have a good day!”

Customer: “Bye. I’ll be there tomorrow at two.”

(He didn’t show up to claim his item for three weeks.)

Related:
Very Time (Un)Conscious

Not So Closed Minded, Part 7

| Australia | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

(Near the end of my night shift I have been held up. The doors are smashed to pieces, there are at least four police cars on the forecourt (including the dog unit), several police in the store and crime scene tape across the entrance. While being interviewed by a detective I notice a regular walking up to the door.)

Policeman: “You can’t go in there, ma’am.

(He is on the other side of the forecourt, too far away to stop her. The customer ignores him and moves the cones.)

Policeman: “Ma’am! You can’t go in. They’re closed.”

(She ignores him again, ducks under the tape and weaves her way through the shattered glass past two more shocked policemen. After picking up the newspaper she walks to the counter.)

Manager: “We’re closed.”

Customer: “Oh. Really? Why?”

Related:
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 6
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 5
Not Very Closed Minded, Part 4

Demanding To A Fault(line)

| Baltimore, MD, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(It is a typical day at the ‘upscale’ grocery store I work at, in the bakery section. An older gentleman walks up.)

Customer: “I’ll have one brownie, please.”

(Right as he orders, the ground begins to shake. Glass bottles are clinking on the shelves, signs are swinging. It is pretty obvious we are having an earthquake which is not a normal occurrence in my state. It only lasts about 20 seconds but I stand there in shock for a few more before looking back at the customer.)

Me: “Woah, that was crazy. Never felt anything like that before. Do you think that was an earthquake or what?”

Customer: *looks at me with a completely straight face and says in a very loud voice, enunciating each syllable very clearly* “I. Said. One. Brownie. Please.”

(I gave him his brownie and he walked away like nothing ever happened with the signs above his head still swinging…)

Flamingoing From Bad To Worse

| Lexington, KY, USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month

(I am a cashier on register with no one in my line. The phone rings:)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Store]. My name is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

(There is an obviously drunk woman on phone:)

Caller: “Do you sell flamingos?”

Me: “I’m sorry; I didn’t hear that. Could you say it again?”

Caller: “A flamingo! Do you sell flamingos?”

Me: “You mean the pink bird at the zoo?”

Caller: “Yes, flamingos! Do you sell flamingos?”

(At this point a customer comes up to my register.)

Me: “No ma’am; we do not sell flamingos or any other kind of exotic animal. I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.”

Caller: “Too bad. What about giraffes?”

Me: “Tell you what. Call back when you are sober. I have a customer waiting.” *click*

Customer: “Did they seriously ask for a flamingo?”

Me: “Yep, and a giraffe. Sorry you had to wait.”

Customer: “You do know it’s rush week, right?”

(There are no less than six universities in the city. Rush week is when freshmen pledge to a sorority or fraternity and have to do challenges to get in.)

Me: “Oh, no! Thanks for the warning.”

(I let my manager know. We got ten similar calls that day, and more the rest of the week.)

In The Wrong Holding Position

| Glasgow, Scotland, UK | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

Me: “Good evening. Thank you for calling [Company]. [My Name] speaking. How can I help you?

Caller: “Oh, wrong number.” *hangs up*

(To have gotten through to me the customer would have had to have waited on hold for 10 minutes, listening to repeated adverts FOR the company and also selected an option to speak with me. I still have no idea how she didn’t realise sooner.)

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