Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

This Is Not What A Feminist Looks Like

| Dayton, OH, USA | Bizarre, Books & Reading, Language & Words, Politics

(A woman approaches me at the counter, looking over her shoulder as if she is looking out for someone.)

Me: “Can I… help you, ma’am?”

Woman: “Yes, um, I was wondering if you had any books about…” *drops her voice to an urgent whisper* “… the ‘F’ word.”

Me: “Well, um, we have the ‘Kama Sutra’ in our world cultures section and our romance novel and erotica are—”

Woman: “No, no! The other ‘F’-word.”

Me: *thoroughly confused* “I’m afraid I’m not following ,ma’am…”

Woman: “The ‘F’-word, you know!”

Me: “Really, ma’am, I don’t. Would you like to write it down for me to—”

Woman: “FOR CHRIST’S SAKE! FEMINISM! I’m looking for a book on feminism! Now the whole store knows my business! THANK YOU!”

(She proceeds to quickly flee the store, apologizing to other patrons as she leaves.)

Next Customer: “Is she going to be all right?”

Me: “I certainly hope so.”

We Apologize For The Convenience

, | ON, Canada | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(It is Thanksgiving Day. I am calling a customer who left a message that he wants to ‘complain.’)

Customer: “I pay for a 24/7, 365-day contract and you’re closed just because it’s a holiday.”

Me: “Actually, we’re not closed. In fact, you and I are talking on the phone, right now.”

Customer: “I think I should get a credit or something free because you’re not open.”

Me: “Except that we ARE OPEN.”

Customer: “Well, I’ve wasted my time calling if you’re open because you’re supposed to be closed. How are you going to compensate me?”

Me: “Just to make sure I understand: You’re calling on a day that you think we’re closed, in order to complain that we’re closed in an attempt to get something for free, but when you realized that we’re open, the exact thing you wanted, you’d like to complain and get something for free because you wasted your time calling to complain about something that didn’t happen?”

Customer: “YES!”

Me: “Was there a technical problem that you needed help with in the first place?”

Customer: “No! I only called to complain.”

Me: *bangs head on desk*

Customer: “Well, I think I at least deserve an apology!”

Me: “I’m, uh… very sorry that we could not inconvenience you today.”

Must Be On A Naughty Diet

, | MI, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I’ve just started a job at a certain Canadian coffee shop franchise. It’s my first job, and I’m still learning how to deal with people and learning the items we sell.)

Customer: “I’d like a naughty donut, please.”

Me: *pause* “What kind of donut?”

Customer: “A naughty donut.”

(I entered in ‘assorted donut’ and he pays. My coworker comes up and reads the screen, going over to the donut section.)

Coworker: “Hi, sir, what type of donut did you want?”

Customer: “A naughty one.”

Coworker: “Um… what kind?”

Customer: *points* “A Peanut Crunch.”

Me: “Oh, a NUTTY donut!”

Doesn’t Always Take Practise, Practise, Practise…

| NY, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Musical Mayhem, Tourists/Travel

(My grandfather and I are taking a tour of a world-famous opera house many years ago when this happens:)

Tour Guide: “And now, we are in the stage area, where—”

Grandfather: *singing* “La la la la la!”

Tour Guide: “What was that, sir?”

Grandfather: “Now I can say I sang on stage at [Famous Opera House]!”

Nipped That One In The Inappropriate Bud

| Kansas City, KS, USA | Bizarre, Rude & Risque

(I am working the sporting goods department of a huge, multinational retailer. I’m stocking fishing gear and cleaning up my aisle as I’m approached by a creaky-boned geriatric, clutching her cart for stability as her walker is stowed in it. With bleary, watery eyes behind huge, thick granny-glasses staring at me, she croaks out:)

Customer: “Where are your nipples?”

Me: *dumbfounded* “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Your NIPPLES! Where are your NIPPLES?”

Me: *stunned silence*

Customer: *perhaps used to deal with people who are hard of hearing* “YOUR BABY BOTTLES AND YOUR NIPPLES! WHERE ARE THEY?”

Me: “Oh! Our infant’s section is in the opposite corner of the store.”

Customer: “THANK YOU!”

Page 32/184First...3031323334...Last