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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    The Bitter Taste Of The Law

    , , | USA | Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    (I work in the call center for a national fast food restaurant. We don’t accept ideas about new or modified products from guests, and we especially don’t pay for them. Any time a guest starts to give a suggestion, we have to read them a legal statement to that effect.)

    Caller: “I wanted to tell you that I love your turkey burgers, but I really think you should start serving them on gluten-free—”

    Me: *interrupting* “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I do have something I need to read you real quickly.”

    (I then read the legal statement stating that we can’t accept her idea, and won’t pay for it.)

    Caller: *long pause* “Well, I don’t know what that means, but it doesn’t sound very nice, so I’m going to hang up on you.”

    (And she did!)

    You Have To Question Their Reasons

    | MI, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    (I work in a call center taking calls from subscribers to our web-based program.)

    Subscriber: “Hi. I was told to call.”

    Me: *thinking that he got an email or a voice mail* “Was the message from anyone in particular?”

    Subscriber: “It’s on the invoice. It told me to call.”

    (I pull up his account but there aren’t any notes from our administration/billing department or any other representatives, so I’m a little confused by this.)

    Me: “You received a note on your invoice to call us?”

    Subscriber: “Yes. It said to call if I had any questions.”

    Me: “And do you have any questions?”

    Subscriber: “No.”

    Me: “Okay, then… Have a great day!”

    Let Me Know When You’re Really REALLY Closed

    | WA, USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (Our mall closes early on Sunday, though some people don’t quite get the message. My coworker has gone to take out the trash and left a door unlocked but closed so she can get back in, as we normally do while my manager is closing the registers. A couple walks in after letting themselves in.)

    Manager: “O-oh, hey, guys. How are you doing tonight?” *stops her counting and shuts the drawer to go around the counter*

    Customer #1: “Hey there. We’re just looking.”

    (My manager is confused but follows them, doing her normal sales thing until the couple finally catches on.)

    Customer #1: “Are you guys closed?”

    Manager: “Yes, we are.”

    Customer #2: “No, like… Are you guys REALLY closed? Not just saying it?”

    Manager: “… Yes. I’m closing down the registers and I can’t process any more transactions.”

    Customer #1: *snippy suddenly* “Well, we just want to look, anyway!”

    Not Good For Your Blood Pressure

    | MD, USA | Bizarre, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (The pharmacy that I work at has a very standard closing time of 7:00 pm. We’ve had this for years, much longer than I’ve worked there. If a customer comes in around 6:58 or so they usually purchase their items quickly and leave. This customer comes in at 6:59.)

    Customer: “Whoo! Made it in the knick of time!”

    Me: “You certainly did! You picking up a prescription today?”

    Customer: “Yes, it’s [Name].”

    (The transaction goes smoothly and he heads for the door. It’s 7:01 pm and he turns and goes to the blood pressure machine which usually takes a couple minutes to finish the measurement. My boss tells me to turn the lights off because we’re technically closed.)

    Customer: “Hey! Can you turn the lights back on? I can’t see my reading!”

    Me: “The display is LED; you don’t need the lights on, sir.”

    Praying For That Lightbulb Moment

    | MN, USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at a retail store that generally closes before all the other ones around us. At this moment we have just a few minutes before close and I am back in my department, which is empty, when a customer whom I watched enter just 30 seconds before comes up to me.)

    Me: “How can I help you tonight?”

    Customer: “I need a lightbulb.”

    Me: “Well, that would be in our light—”

    Customer: “You don’t understand. I NEED a LIGHTBULB!”

    Me: “Ma’am, we don’t have lightbulbs in this department. But if you’ll let me direct you to—”

    Customer: “You’ve got to be kidding me. Where are the d*** lightbulbs, kid?!”

    (The announcer goes off, saying we are now closed, and I’m trying to be as polite as possible.)

    Customer: “F****** people are f****** closed now! You people need to get your s*** together before you f****** close on a paying customer! I’m never coming back here!”

    (I tell my coworker about the lady that night. He finds me during my shift the next day.)

    Coworker: “Hey, did that lady happen to have [color] hair and a [color] purse with her?”

    Me: “Yeah, why?”

    Coworker: “She came back this morning. Apparently she knew exactly where they were. And she was very disappointed to discover they weren’t by the gummy worms.”

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