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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Weird And Weirder

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Awesome Customers, Bizarre

    (I am buying ‘Keep Off the Grass’ signs for my lawn. I am usually very socially awkward but I love talking to associates. I am currently talking to one about the signs.)

    Me: “We live on the corner of two streets so people walk through our yard all the time. I wouldn’t mind except they throw their trash on the ground. I even caught a moving guy doing it. I don’t want to be rude, but I have no choice.”

    Employee: “Yeah.”

    Me: “It’s not like they are going to abide by the signs. I might have to sit on my porch and watch for a few hours.” *jokingly* “Maybe follow them home and throw it on their lawn.”

    Employee: *laughs* “Yeah, you should.”

    (Suddenly a customer comes up to both of us talking about drug deals on her lawn and AK47s. We smile and nod, hoping she will go away. Once she does, we look at each other.)

    Me: “I’m sorry. I’m usually the weird customer, but somehow I attract even weirder…”

    Not Listening Is An Occupational Hazard

    | Kelowna, BC, Canada | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (When a customer comes in to do a money transfer, I have to get a piece of ID and ask them two questions.)

    Me: “I just have a couple of questions before I can pay you out your money.”

    Customer: “Okay, sure.”

    Me: “What country were you born in?”

    Customer: “Canada.”

    Me: “Okay, and what is your occupation?”

    Customer: “White.”

    Me: “White?”

    Customer: *very firmly* “Yes, white.”

    Me: “Okay… So, your occupation is white?”

    Customer: “Yes.” *thinks for a moment* “Oh, wait. What’s occupation mean again?”

    Me: “What do you do for work.”

    Customer: “Oh, I thought you meant what color I am! I work in construction!”

    Done With This Business

    | Australia | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (I am second in line at a deli. Deli servers aren’t allowed to stop serving someone unless they’re absolutely sure a customer is done.)

    Deli Worker: *to first customer* “That’s 500 grams. Is that all today?”

    Customer: *playing with phone, says nothing*

    Deli Worker: *turns, wraps the item, and hands it to the customer* “Is that all today?”

    Customer: *not looking up, slowly walks away*

    (The worker’s eyes follow the customer until she’s completely out of the line.)

    Deli Worker: “Aaaaaand… that’s a yes.” *turns to me, mirroring my bemused face* “Hi.”

    Calling About Calling

    | Canada | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    (I work at a customer service desk. I answer the phone with my usual greeting. The customer on the other line starts screaming.)

    Customer: “WHY DID YOU CALL ME?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you called us… Was there anything I could help you with?”

    Customer: “WHY. DID. YOU. CALL. ME.”

    Me: “Did someone leave a message on your machine?”

    Customer: “Yes. It was you. Why did you call me?”

    Me: “Well, it wasn’t me personally. What did the message say?”

    Customer: “It said I had an order ready for pick up. Why did you call me?”

    Me: “It would appear you have an order… for pick up…”

    Crazily Honest

    | USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (The store I work at is about a block from a mental health services office. We often see their clients in the store and know that some can be a bit eccentric.)

    Me: “Hi. How are you today?”

    Customer: “Not bad for a crazy guy but as long as I take my meds, I’m okay.”

    Me: “Well, there’s something to be said for honesty…”

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