October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Smiling With Suspicious Intent

| TX, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I’m known at work for being cheerful and always having a smile for everyone. A customer comes to my till and puts down his things, and I smile and greet him.)

Customer: “What are you grinning about?”

Me: “…I’m sorry?”

Customer: “I saw you grinning like you’re laughing at me or something. Stop that.”

Me: “I’m sorry; I was just trying to be cheerful.”

Customer: “Well, don’t! It’s too suspicious!”

(The customer finished the transaction and walked away, glaring and muttering about ‘suspicious’ the whole time.)

Smile, And The World Complains About You

| TX, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(We’re a small store so there are only three of us this morning: manager, coworker, and I. The manager is positive and helpful and my coworker is one of the most honestly sweet and upbeat persons I’ve ever met. She has a habit of using little verbal prompts, like ‘ok,’ and ‘uh-huh,’ to encourage customers to talk. It’s midway through the shift and a customer comes barreling up to Manager and me.)

Customer: “I need help! I need help and that other one won’t help!”

Manager & Me: *after exchanging puzzled looks* “I’m sorry, how can we help?”

Customer: “I asked the other girl and she just smiled and kept saying ‘uh-huh’ while I talked. You should talk to her! She should be fired! That’s so rude!”

Manager: “I’m sorry, she… smiled?”

Customer: “Exactly! So rude! You need to talk to her!”

Manager: *to me* “I’ll handle this…”

(He shadows her around for about half an hour, deliberately steering her away from my coworker. Finally the customer’s done and the manager makes sure I’m the one checking her out. She’s still complaining.)

Me: *super cheerful* “Looks like you found some great stuff!”

Customer: “I can’t believe you let her work here! Everyone knows it’s rude to smile and say ‘uh-huh!’ I was in [Big Chain Supermarket] earlier and I could barely walk in before there was some idiot smiling and saying that! She’s horrible! She just kept smiling while I talked. She needs to find a different job. I don’t come in here for that sort of treatment!”

Me: “I can’t imagine…”

Customer: “And I’m such a nice person! I never get upset unless it’s something huge! She should be fired!”

Me: “I’m quite certain our manager will talk with her. Now, how would you like to pay?”

(I get the customer checked out and the manager makes certain my coworker is hiding when the customer leaves. Afterwards we all just sort of look at each other like, ‘well, that happened.’ My coworker looks ready to cry.)

Me: *to coworker* “Stop smiling. So rude.”

(Fortunately that made her crack up and, oddly, we haven’t had any other complaints about her smile!)

In Desperate Need Of Some Context

| Portland, OR, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids

(I’m stocking and straightening movies on the bottom shelf of a display, so I am crouched down. A man and woman walk past me holding hands, obviously not noticing me.)

Woman: “No! You can not have sex with your sister!”

Live By The Sword And Following A Code(words)

, | Armstrong, BC, Canada | Bizarre

(My coworker goes outside to help some customers on our full-serve pumps, while I stay inside to watch the store. As he walks back in, one customer follows. I recognise him as a regular, and also a bit of an oddball. When they enter, the following conversation ensues.)

Customer: “It was nice talking to you. It was good.”

(He holds out his hand, and my coworker shakes it, somewhat dubiously.)

Coworker: “Yeah, sure.”

Customer: “We’ll meet tomorrow at the same place as usual. Under the bridge.”

(I have no idea what he’s talking about, and it’s clear from his expression that my coworker has no idea either. However, he nods and goes with it.)

Customer: “10 o’clock. Make sure you bring your sword.”

Coworker: “…yeah, for sure.”

(The customer then leaves. As soon as he’s gone, my coworker and I look at each other incredulously.)

Me: “What the f*** was that?”

Coworker: “I have no idea! That was weird. Oh, wait, he’s coming back.”

(Sure enough, the customer is walking back inside.)

Customer: “I’ll need to get a new sword, though. Mine shattered last time. So, yeah I’ll need a new one. See you tomorrow. 10 o’clock.”

Coworker: “Yeah, yeah, sure. See you there.”

Upgraded Complaints

, | MT, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

(I used to work at the local big-name ice cream and burger restaurant eight years ago. The night shift lead is the owner’s son that was just a little runt when I worked there. On this trip through the drive thru I order a small ice cream cone for me and a blended drink for my husband. We get the drink, but while the cashier is taking another order he opens the window:)

Shift Lead: “So, she accidentally made a large cone instead of a small one. Is that still okay?”

Me: *I raise an eyebrow and scoff dramatically* “No! It. Is. Not. Okay! You are giving me more for my money and it’s just unacceptable!”

Shift Lead: *grinning and handing me the cone* “Gosh darn us for giving you a free upgrade, right?”

Me: “Gripe, gripe, gripe. Obligatory threat to complain to your father, young man!”

Shift Lead: *laughing* “Yeah, you have a good night, too!”

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