Featured Story:
  • Always Time For A Rhyme
    (2,164 thumbs up)
  • Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Customers Like To Give You A Pizza Their Dirty Mind

    | MI, USA | Bizarre, Rude & Risque

    (I and two other coworkers are on break in back room, having some pizza, when another coworker comes to grab some pizza. Everyone else is already sitting down and eating so he remains standing, eats some, and exclaims:)

    Coworker: “This is sooo good. I could eat this every day.”

    (After which I hear someone add on to that saying:)

    Passer By: “Just like sex.”

    (Everyone else continues eating and doesn’t say anything, until my coworker standing at the table asks:)

    Coworker: “Did anyone else hear that guy?”

    Me: “Yeah, the one that said ‘just like sex’?”

    Coworker: “Yeah, I thought I was the only one who heard him.”

    Me: “That’s what I thought, too.”

    (We burst out laughing, then promptly close the doors so random creepers would stop eavesdropping or contributing creepiness.)

    Doesn’t Know How To Window Shop

    | England, UK | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Home Improvement

    (I work in a bargains store where people can get almost anything for less than the RRP. An elderly customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “Will these curtains fit my window?”

    Me: “What size is the window you’re buying for?”

    Customer: “Living room.”

    Me: “No, sorry I mean like what are the measurements for it?”

    Customer: “It’s a normal front living room window.”

    Me: “Every window is different. These ones you’ve picked out are 90″x90″, so they would fit a fairly large window. Do you know the size in inches, or even centimetres? We can work from there.”

    Customer: “No, but it’s the same size window as everyone else on my street, so I think it’ll be the same for everywhere. Would they fit your window?”

    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 12

    | Kolding, Denmark | Bizarre, Spouses & Partners

    (It is shortly after the EU release of the popular video game ‘Grand Theft Auto V.’ I have just gotten off from work, and am walking through the supermarket I work at to get to the employee exit. I have just entered the beverage section of the supermarket, when suddenly a guy around the age of 18 comes crashing into one of the beverages coolers on a three-wheel kids bike.)

    Me: “Whaa-”

    (Before i get to react, he turns his head to me, still sitting on the bike, and looks at me.)

    Customer: “Yo, give me all your money, b****!”

    (I just stand completely confused, when suddenly he turns his head back down the aisle he came from.)

    Customer: “Aww, f***, they are on to me!”

    (He quickly pedals away from me on the little bike, followed by a girl I presumed to be his girlfriend running after him. She faces me shortly before running after him.)

    Customer’s Girlfriend: “I’m so sorry. He has been playing that new Grand Theft Auto game all week.”

    Customer: *a couple of aisles away* “You ain’t getting me punk!”

    Related:
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 11
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 10
    Grand Theft Innocence, Part 9

    No Button To Get Out Of This One

    | San Antonio, TX, USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m in an arts and crafts store where they wear white polos and green aprons, wearing my light blue local theme park uniform. I’m approached by a foreign customer.)

    Customer: *heavy Indian accent* “Can you show me where the buttons?”

    Me: “Oh, sorry, I don’t work—”

    Customer: “BUTTONS. Can you show me where the buttons?!”

    Me: “I could grab an employee.”

    Customer: *stares at me expectantly*

    Me: “Uhhm. Right this way.”

    (I proceed to show him where I was pretty sure the buttons were. He thanks me and I walk off. Figure it was easier than the truth!)

    Couldn’t Wait For An Actual Waiter

    | Green Bay, WI, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Theme Of The Month

    (After classes my friends and I decide to stop and get something to eat. We are making our way through the restaurant to a table. I’m bringing up the end of the line.)

    Customer: *as he grabs my arm in a punishing grip* “My friends and I have been waiting for our coffee for over 20 minutes. You had d*** well better get it for us right now or the next time I see you I’ll make d*** sure you regret it!”

    Me: *scared he might hit me* “S-sure.”

    (He finally lets me go and I go looking for a manager.)

    Me: “The guys at that table told me that they’ve been waiting for over 20 minutes for their coffee and they’re REALLY mad.”

    Manager: “Why did they talk to you about it?”

    Me: “I have no idea.”

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