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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Should Have Eaten Fear For Breakfast

    | Portsmouth, VA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    (An older male patron has started insisting that I (a young female) offer to buy him lunch earlier in the week. Every following day he would whisper a reminder in the form of a food order as he passed the reference desk.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, sir”

    Patron: “Chicken salad… Chicken Salad.”

    Me: *nods head, a little creeped out*

    (A patron walks past a few hours later to leave.)

    Patron: *intensely whispers* “Two hotdogs from Dairy Queen.”

    (They say nothing else. Later, I turn to my coworker:)

    Me: “Why is it always me?”

    Coworker: “They smell the fear… or your lunch.”

    Getting Shirty Over The Jewels

    | Waynesboro, VA, USA | Bizarre

    (I am behind the jewelry counter at work.)

    Customer: “Do you have a cleaning cloth so I can clean this jewelry?”

    Me: *joking* “No, Ma’am, but I have my shirt”

    (I laughed but then felt a hard jerk on my shirt. I was pulled half way across the jewelry counter. She was using the edge of my shirt to clean the jewelry. I was in awe but kept my mouth shut after and let her continue. I am so glad I have a good sense of humor. I was asking for it.)

    Your Tiredness Kept The Safe Safe

    | Australia | Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal

    (I manage a pizza store, and go in at 10:30 pm to help close up. I am in my casual clothes and I’m completely exhausted. I go outside the store to use the bathroom when I am stopped by someone.)

    Stranger: “Gimme the safe keys.”

    Me: *groggy* “Safe keys?”

    Stranger: “The f****** store safe keys!”

    Me: “…safe keys?”

    (The safe keys are in the store, but I am so tired I barely know my own name. Before the stranger can respond a coworker comes outside, and the stranger bolts.)

    Coworker: “Who was that?”

    Me: “That guy wanted safe keys… Wait, did that guy just kinda try to rob the store?”

    (If the coworker hadn’t shown up, the stranger could have easily harmed me in my state. This is one of many reasons that you shouldn’t overwork your store managers!)

    Fat Chance Of A Haunting

    | UT, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (I work for a small family run jewelry store. We are fairly flexible with returns as long as no work was done on the item (i.e., sizing to finger, switching stones, etc). )

    Customer: “I would like to return this ring I purchased.”

    Me: “Let me look up your history. Your name?”

    Customer: *gives name* “I can’t keep this ring.”

    Me: “Okay. Unfortunately it was sized, so is non returnable. Is there anything wrong with the fit?”

    Customer: “No, nothing wrong with the fit. I think it’s haunted.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “I think it’s carrying a curse or is haunted. When I bought it, it was a larger size and my finger is much smaller. The person who owned it before must have died of heart disease and I might catch it.”

    Me: “I can assure you, you won’t get heart disease from this ring.”

    (She kept going on about how she couldn’t have that ring because it might cause her to gain weight like the previous owner. I reassured her over and over that rings can’t make you gain weight. To no avail we ended up taking the ring back and selling her a new ring with no fat history.)

    ‘X’ Marks The Spot-Box

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Bizarre, Technology

    (I’m working in a mall at a well-known video game store and I’ve been there for a few years. We have a policy that if someone buys a warranty for their system we will replace it, no questions asked.)

    Customer: “You know the system warranty?”

    Me: “Yep, covers everything, no questions asked.”

    Customer: “No questions asked… Are you sure?”

    Me: “Sure, that’s the policy.”

    (Customer reaches into his bag and pulls out an Xbox with an axe embedded in it.)

    Customer: “I’d like a replacement.”

    Me: “How did that happen?”

    Customer: “You said no questions.”

    Me: “Uuuh… would you like to take back the axe?”

    Customer: “No questions!”

    (He proceeds to attempt to yank out the axe, but fails to do so.)

    Customer: “New one?”

    (I look at him incredulously.)

    Me: “Yep”

    (I replaced his Xbox. Later, I brought it up with a coworker from another store. He beat my story with a Dreamcast that he replaced that had bullet holes.)

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