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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Enough Barking Crazy For One Day

    | Savannah, GA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

    (I’m a supervisor working a closing shift, helping out for another department, since we’re short on people that night, and doing my work at the service desk. My coworker, who is manning the service desk that night, is on the phone with someone, looking slightly perplexed.)

    Coworker: *mouths toward me* “Take this! Please!”

    (She passes the phone over to me.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling your local [Store Name]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: *in a very forced high pitched voice* “Do you have any doghouses.”

    (It’s pretty difficult to understand, as they’re clearly disguising their voice to sound like a woman.)

    Me: “I’m sorry. Did you say doghouses?”

    Customer: “Yes, doghouses.”

    Me: “Oh, no, I’m sorry. We don’t carry doghouses. We do have dog cages and dog carriers, though.”

    Customer: “Do you think a little boy could fit in them?”

    Me: *hangs up* “Nope. Not tonight. I do not have the patience. They asked if a little boy could fit in them. F*** that!”

    Said It Without Batting An Eye

    | Reno, NV, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (I was born with a very rare degenerative eye disease which, after several corrective surgeries, has left me with some very unusual eyes (off-centered pupil, over-sized green-gold iris). I’m used to how they look, but a lot of people are taken aback by them, sometimes even asking if they’re real. This incident takes place while I’m hanging up clothing.)

    Me: “Hello, sir. How are you today?”

    Customer: “I’m fine, thank you. We’re looking for— Are you wearing contacts?”

    Me: “No?”

    Customer: “Your eyes look really weird.”

    Me: ” …Thanks.”

    Anna Oprahnina

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Bizarre, Books & Reading, Crazy Requests, Movies & TV

    (I am a book seller in a large book-store chain. A woman is standing in front of the new release table and is looking frustrated.)

    Me: “Can I help you, miss?”

    Customer: “I’m looking for a new book. Oprah said it just came out. You should keep more new releases in stock! Especially if it’s a book by Oprah!”

    Me: “Okay, well, maybe it’s somewhere else in the store. I can check for you. Do you know the title?”

    Customer: “It’s called Anna Karenina.”

    Me: *pause* “Oh, that should be in our literature section, under Tolstoy.”

    Customer: “Why is it not in the new releases? Oprah said it was just published!”

    Me: “Well, actually it was written in the 1870s.”

    Customer: “No, it wasn’t! Oprah said it was new! Oprah doesn’t lie! She’s Oprah!”

    Me: “Okay. Do you want to get the book?”

    Customer: “Of course! Oprah said I have to read it. Oprah!”

    (My coworkers spent the rest of the day randomly shouting ‘Oprah!’ over the headsets.)

    This Time With Meaning

    | ON, Canada | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

    (I have on a pair of frog earrings. The face and arms of the frog are in the front, and the legs dangle from the back of the ear.)

    Customer: “Oh, those earrings are so cute!”

    Me: “Thanks, my boyfriend got them for me.”

    Customer: “Oh you must love frogs!”

    Me: “No… they’re just fun.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, then, he must love frogs!”

    Me: “No, he just thought they were fun.”

    Customer: “Well, are you French?”

    Me: “Um, well, yeah…”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. So that’s why he got them!”

    Trying Your Patients

    | New Zealand | Bizarre, Health & Body, Rude & Risque

    Charge Nurse: “Hello.”

    Caller: “Is Mr [Name] one of your patients?”

    Charge Nurse: “Yes. Why?”

    Caller: “He’s in the gynaecology ward. Please retrieve him.”

    Charge Nurse: “How did he get there? He needs one assist just to walk around his bed!”

    Caller: “Well, either the dementia made him forget he couldn’t walk or he’s just been alone for too long in life.”

    Charge Nurse: “Pardon me? I’m sure he’s just in his bed in his room”

    Caller: “Look, just come and get him. He took the elevator up four floors, found the gynae ward, walked into a room with a cervical smear in progress, and asked if he could be of assistance.”

    Charge Nurse: “…”

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