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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Allergic To Common Sense, Part 4

    | AB, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (A lady orders a blueberry pineapple margarita and I bring it out. A little while later I notice her giving it to her husband and not drinking it.)

    Me: “Is everything okay with the margarita?”

    Lady: “Oh, yes. I am just allergic to pineapples but wanted to try it.”

    Me: “Are you okay?”

    Lady: “Oh yeah, it will just turn my face red.” *laughs* “It is already.”

    (Sure enough her face developed a rash. She ordered and paid for a drink she knew she was allergic to!)

    Related
    Allergic To Common Sense, Part 3
    Allergic To Common Sense, Part 2
    Allergic To Common Sense

    Maybe He Needed Socks For The Office

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (I work at a counter right inside the entrance of an office supply store. One day, I see a man in a suit hurrying into the store. He looks panicked.)

    Me: “Hello! What can I help—”

    Customer: *looking frantically at nearby displays* “Do you guys sell socks!?”

    Me: “Er… no, we sell office supplies.”

    Customer: “You’re SURE?!”

    Me: “I’m sure.”

    Customer: “Do you know if [Store Next Door] sells socks?”

    Me: “It’s a better possibility than an office supply store selling them!”

    (He turned around and hurried out of the store, headed for our neighbor.)

    A Hobby-tual Hazard

    | UK | Bizarre, Rude & Risque

    (Before we take customers through to pre-testing we have to go through some basic details with them.)

    Me: “So, how many hours are you looking at a computer?”

    Elderly Customer: “At least three, usually more!”

    Me:“That’s cool. One last question, do you have any hobbies that could strain your eyes?”

    (He thinks long and hard.)

    Elderly Customer: “Does Internet porn count as a hobby?”

    (Everyone, including the manager, bursts out laughing. After tearing up my only response is:)

    Me: “Only if you put real effort into it…”

    A Significantly Delayed Light-Bulb Moment

    | MO, USA | Bizarre

    (Due to new government regulations, a number of light bulbs have been discontinued. We still sell them but will not get more in stock once the ones we have are gone. Because of this, a number of people have been buying them in large numbers. A customer approaches my register with his arms full of them.)

    Me: “Oh, stocking up, eh?”

    Customer: “Everyone is going to get mercury poisoning from CFL bulbs. And LED bulbs don’t work.”

    Me: “Oh, I don’t know, I have LED bulbs in my house, and they work fine—”

    Customer: “Global warming is a farce!”

    Me: “Um… what?”

    Customer: “We are seventeen years into an ice age! Soon people will be wishing they had these light bulbs to heat their houses!”

    Me: “Oh… okay… Well, you have a good day, sir.”

    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 7

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (An elderly woman has asked me to grab a large bag of dog food off the floor for her. As I am walking over to retrieve it, this conversation happens.)

    Elderly Woman: “Oh, no, dear, I didn’t mean you grab it. Just get one of the nice young men to grab it for me.”

    Me: “It’s no problem at all, ma’am! I assure you I lift these bags all the time!”

    Elderly Woman: “Oh. you shouldn’t do that! What about the baby?!”

    Me: “Oh! Oh, no, I am sorry for the confusion. I’m not pregnant, ma’am.”

    Elderly Woman: “But someday you could be! You don’t want to risk it!”

    Me: “I assure you, if I am ever pregnant, I won’t lift anything. For the mean time I am perfectly capable of lifting the bag for you. I promise.”

    (I lifted the bag and brought it to the register, rang her out, and then carried it to her car. As I was walking away I heard her shouting ‘you make sure you take care of that baby!’ Now, whenever I go to lift anything, my coworkers tell me to make sure ‘not to hurt the baby!’)

    Related:
    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 6
    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 5
    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 4

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