• It Would Be Penny-Wise To Accept Them
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  • October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Very Slow Burn

    | Victoria, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (I am working in a large grocery store on a busy Saturday. Each till has at least eight people in line, and I can’t even see the end of the queue. I am scanning items as quickly as I possibly can and have not made any mistakes. My next customer is a lady with two overflowing carts of groceries, so I greet her and start scanning her items at my usual pace.)

    Customer: “SLOW DOWN!”

    Me: *startled* “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “SLOW DOWN! I don’t like it when you scan my items so quickly.”

    (I double check her bill but see no mistakes.)

    Customer: “And I like to watch you scan every item so don’t touch another thing until I’m done unloading!”

    (The line up is still quite long behind her, and she has barely unloaded any items onto the belt. No amount of reasoning will convince her to let me start scanning her items until she has unloaded each product, one by one.)

    Me: *resumes scanning*

    Customer: “I said not so fast! Do I have to report you to your manager?”

    (In the end I had to scan her items at a snail’s pace, several people change queues, and when she finally pays and leaves she’s still muttering about reporting me to my manager.)

    Next Customer: “Please scan my items as quickly as you’d like. I don’t mind!”

    The Birth Of Assumption

    | East Falmouth, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bizarre

    (A guy comes in, buys his stuff by credit card, as I hand him his bags and receipt:)

    Me: “Have a nice day!”

    Customer: “What? The h*** did you know?”

    Me: “Sir?”

    Customer: “The f*** did you know it was my birthday? You see my ID in my wallet or something?”

    Me: “Uh… sir? All I said was have a nice day.”

    Customer: “…”

    Me: “…”

    Customer: “Not ‘Happy Birthday?'”

    Me: *trying VERY hard not to smirk* “…No.”

    Customer: “Well, this day’s off to a good start…”

    Me: *smiling sympathetically* “Have a nice day, sir. And Happy Birthday.”

    Wish You Could Hide From The Hyde

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

    (I work at a popular family restaurant that has a fairly diverse clientèle. Two older ladies come in just as I start my shift. It happens to be a statutory holiday that the government created last year. As such it’s a day off for most people, but not a real holiday.)

    Customer #1: “Good morning! Happy [Holiday]! ”

    Me: “Happy [Holiday]. How are you today?”

    Customer #1: “Everyone has just been so nice today. That young man-” *referring to our greeter* “-held the door open for us!”

    Customer #2: *extremely aggressively*“As well he should!”

    Me: *taken aback, I try to change the subject* “Can I get you something to drink to start you off?”

    Customer #1: *beams at me* “I hope they’re paying you bonuses to come in on a holiday!”

    Customer #2: *interrupts in a savage tone of voice* “What would it matter? They’re here all the time anyway!”

    Customer #1: *gives a big smile to her companion then to me* “We’ll just have coffees for now.”

    (I escaped gratefully and happened to catch the coworker I was relieving as she packed up.)

    Me: “That table is like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde!”

    Coworker: “Oh, they’re always like that. I was so glad when you came in that I wouldn’t have to deal with them this time. Good luck!”

    Fairweather Fighters

    | Varna, Bulgaria | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

    (Two intoxicated patrons are trying to start a fight, when the owner of the rock club decides to stop them.)

    Owner: “All right, break it up you two! There will be no fights in my club. If you want to fight – there’s the door. Take it outside!”

    Patron: “But… It’s raining outside, bro!”

    Multitasking Is Tasking You

    | Evansville, IN, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (A customer has called in to order; I am just finishing up the details of her purchase.)

    Me: “All right, ma’am, that’s [list of her items], and the total comes to [price]. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

    Customer: “Well.. could you hang on a minute? I’m ordering lunch.”

    Me: “…What?”

    Customer: “I’m in the drive through at [Restaurant]! Just wait a minute.”

    (She proceeds to order enough food for at least six people, and I can overhear other people in the car with her. This takes several minutes.)

    Customer: “I’m ready to check out now. Thanks for waiting!”

    Me: “Yeah, no problem…”

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