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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Time To Call It A Night

    | ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (I work the overnight shift. There is an older gentleman who says he can’t sleep at night so he often comes through my drive thru on his scooter to talk to someone. I feel bad for him at night and talk with him because there’s no way for him to get inside, but whenever I see him in the light of day he gets a lot creepier. It’s about 6:30 in the morning when I’m leaving work. My dad has come in to offer me a ride home when the customer rides into the parking lot.)

    Customer: *yelling across the parking lot to my dad* “Where are you going?! That’s my night time girlfriend!”

    Bound(ary) To Serve

    | Canberra, ACT, Australia | Bizarre, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (We have a regular that comes in every Wednesday or Thursday night. This time, I’m on the register when he comes in. I am female, wearing a knee-length tunic over linen pants as it’s high summer and very warm.)

    Customer: *without saying hello* “Are you pregnant?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “I was wondering if you were pregnant. Are you?”

    Me: “I don’t see how it’s any of your business, but no.”

    Customer: “It’s just that I had a haircut today, and my hairdresser was wearing a similar outfit to you. She was four months pregnant and got angry at me because I didn’t notice or say anything. So now I’m wondering, do all women wear what you wear when they’re pregnant?”

    Me: “I’m not sure why your hairdresser had such a strong reaction, but I’m pretty sure most women are wearing what I’m wearing right now because its 45 degrees celsius outside and not because it’s a secret code that we’re reproducing.”

    Customer: “Oh, good point. Sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude by asking personal questions.”

    (The very next week, he returns and again walks right up to the register.)

    Customer: “Do you have a boyfriend?”

    Me: *sigh* “Yes.”

    Customer: “Are you going to marry him?”

    Me: “Okay, sir, I think we need to have a quiet chat about boundaries…”

    Moved On And Far Away

    | Canberra, ACT, Australia | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (A colleague of mine has just gotten a job as an editor and left us, but she and I keep in touch as we are good friends. I am working in the shop when this happens but we both live in the area. Please note: she is very tall and good-looking. A customer comes in, does a few laps, and then comes up to me.)

    Customer: “Where is [Colleague]?”

    Me: “I’m afraid she’s moved on, sir. She doesn’t work here anymore. Can I help you?”

    Customer: *completely losing it* “WHAT DO YOU MEAN SHE DOESN’T WORK HERE ANYMORE?! WHERE IS SHE? WHHEREEEE ISSS SSHHHHEE!?”

    (Before I can answer, he storms out, enraged. I call my colleague on her mobile.)

    Me: “Did you say you were having dinner out tonight?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I’m just two doors down from you actually. Why?”

    Me: “When you’re done, don’t walk to the parking lot by yourself.”

    Sadly They Aren’t Cracking A Joke

    | St. George, UT, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in customer service at a very large store. One day a customer comes up to me looking very upset and holding his cell phone in his hand.)

    Customer: “I need to see a manager.”

    Me: “Certainly! I’ll call them over now. May I ask what you need to see a manager for?”

    Customer: “I need to file a complaint about an employee.”

    Me: “Okay, I’ll call the manager over now.”

    (The manager takes the customer to the side to talk, but I can still hear them.)

    Manager: “What can I do for you?”

    Customer: “I was browsing your store when I saw an employee stocking shelves. His butt was hanging out of his pants. Look!”

    (The customer holds up his phone, and he has actually taken a picture of my coworker’s butt crack hanging out of his pants!)

    Manager: *stifling laughter* “I’ll talk to that employee and make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

    (He never talked to said employee.)

    Good Thing He Didn’t Hit The Ceiling

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer comes into the store. He has a jacket bunched up under his arm. I notice him looking up at the ceiling and approach him to see if he needs help. He doesn’t so I head to the counter. He is still looking at the ceiling and then back at me. I call a coworker over.)

    Me: “That guy is freaking me out. He’s up to something.”

    Coworker: *heads over* “Hi,. Can I help you?”

    Customer: “No, just looking.”

    Coworker: “Can I check what you have wrapped in your jacket?

    (The customer unwraps the jacket to show that he has a black hair brush with a round hollow handle. Then he leaves the store. I head out for lunch and am sitting in a fast food place when I see the man come out of the toilet area. He again is looking at the ceiling and then around the restaurant. He sees me looking at him and quickly leaves. He still has that jacket under his arm, he heads to another fast food place. Again he notices me noticing him. I head back to work.)

    Me: *to coworker* “I saw that guy again. He was acting suspiciously in [Fast Food Place] but as soon as he saw me he left. He was checking out the locations of the cameras, which is what he was doing here, too. I think that he was going to pretend he had a gun. The end of that brush could be mistaken for one.”

    Coworker: “Yeah. We discussed it while you were gone and came to the same conclusion. I went down to the store that I saw him come out of and they had also noticed him checking out their cameras.”

    (There were no reported robberies in the area. We were ready with our surveillance recordings if there were.)

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