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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Their True Colors Are Off-Color

    | Kansas City, MO, USA | Bizarre, Home Improvement

    (I work in a custom shirt shop. We have a lot of variety in our shirts that we keep in stock, trying to have two-three shades of all the basic colors. However, more unique colors don’t have a high turn over, and we try to keep our overstock as low as possible to keep down costs. This customer had had shirts designed by us before on a basic light brown but now wants some brighter, spring colors.)

    Customer: “There’s this really pretty coral that’s popular right now. Do you have anything in a coral?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We just have a few shades in the more basic colors. I have a couple shades of pink I could show you.”

    Customer: *pointing to two shirts on the wall* “Well, that shirt over there is more of an orange, but the colors on this fox here is more of an umber. Do you have any shirts closer to an umber?”

    Me: “Again, we tend to have just a couple shades in the basic color palette. I could show you our two oranges.”

    Customer: “No, no, that’s more of a rust! I don’t want another fall color. I want something brighter.”

    Me: “Well, that’s called ‘Tennessee Orange,’ and that one is ‘Safety Orange.’ Those are the only oranges we have.”

    Customer: “What about something in more of a fuschia-y salmon?”

    Me: “I have pink. I have neon pink and dark pink. Would you like to see the two shades of pink?”

    Customer: “Well, I also like purple, but I don’t want a royal purple. What about something in like a mauve?”

    Me: “I have purple. I have dark purple and light purple. I can bring out two samples and show you our shades of purple.”

    Customer: “Well what colors DO you have?!”

    Me:  ”Basic colors, two-three shades of each. Red, yellow, blue…”

    Customer: “Let me see your blue.”

    (I FINALLY bring out the three shades of blue we have, hoping she likes one.”

    Customer: “Is this ALL you have?”

    Me: “Yes, we have three shades of blue. These three shades. Royal, turquoise, and light blue.”

    Customer: “Fine. I will take the BABY blue.”

    Me: “You mean this one… the light blue, right?”

    (All I can think is someone had the big box of crayons as a kid and felt like showing off!)

    One Man’s Chocolate Is Another Man’s Poison

    | Clearwater, FL, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (My boyfriend and I are walking through a store when he notices a chocolate fountain on display.)

    Boyfriend: “Who would actually buy one of these? You can just rent them.”

    Me: “Probably someone who entertains a lot.”

    Boyfriend: “But if you owned one then your guests would never leave!”

    (Another customer has overheard us and butts in.)

    Random Creepy Customer: “Poison! If you poison them then they’ll never come back!”

    Boyfriend: “… I guess that’s true.”

    (At this point, my boyfriend quickly leads me to another aisle.)

    Boyfriend: *whispering* “If you ever see that customer again, don’t eat anything she offers you!”

    How To Kiss Problem Customers Goodbye

    | IN, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Rude & Risque

    (I normally take my lunch break when my husband gets off work. Today is a really busy day and I’m not getting my lunch break, so my husband has approached me at my checkout line. I give my husband a hug and quick peck on the cheek and say goodbye. I turn to my next customer.)

    Customer: “Where’s mine?”

    Me: “Your what?”

    Customer: *very serious* “My hug and kiss. He got one. I want one, too.”

    Me: “Oh! I only hug and kiss the customers I’m married to.”

    Customer: *disgusted* “Well, that’s not good customer service. I wanted a hug and kiss!”

    (A coworker then decides to step in. He’s a big guy about 6″ tall and very heavy.)

    Coworker: “Well, it would be a shame to let you leave unhappy.”

    Customer: “I know. It’s not fair that she kisses other men but won’t give me one!”

    Coworker: “I’ll take care of that for you.”

    (My coworker walks towards the customer with his arms out.)

    Coworker: “Let me show her what customer service is. I’ll take care of that hug and kiss.”

    Customer: “Uh… No, thanks!” *walks quickly to the front register*

    Coworker: *to me* “What about my hug and kiss?”

    Me: *smirks* “What about that marriage proposal?”

    Mother Is On The Job

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids

    (My workplace provides career advice for youth and young adults. We sometimes have parents come in to ask for help. However, these parents didn’t think to bring their kid with them.)

    Mother: *walking up to the reception desk* “Are companies even hiring students?”

    Me: “Uhm… yes. Yes, they are. It’s summer – there are a lot of seasonal positions to fill.”

    Mother: “But my son can’t find a job.”

    Me: *looking behind her to try to spot her son* “It can take a little bit to find something. Has he come in to see us yet?”

    Mother: “No, he doesn’t want to.”

    Me: “Well, it would be a good first step. Does he have a resume yet? Has he written cover letters before?”

    Mother: “He’s got a resume, but I write his cover letters for him.”

    Me: *hoping I heard her wrong* “I’m sorry? You write them for him?”

    Mother: “Yeah, or he wouldn’t do it!”

    Me: “Well, he really has to be the one to write them; it’s not a good situation if the employer is under the impression your son is writing them when he’s not.”

    Mother: “Oh, I tell them.”

    Me: “Sorry?”

    Mother: “I write, ‘I’m writing on behalf of my 16-year-old son, who is in need of a job.’ They know it’s not him. He doesn’t know I’m applying to jobs for him.”

    Me: “…”

    Mother: *becoming irate* “He needs a job!”

    Me: “I understand, ma’am. But you can’t apply to jobs for your son. He has to apply for them himself.”

    Mother: “But he won’t apply on his own! All he does is sit on his a**s in the basement and play video  games!”

    Me: *trying to sound professional* “Ma’am, have you considered banning him from playing games until he applies for jobs?”

    Mother: *affronted* “I can’t do that to my son! That would be cruel! He just needs a job!”

    Me: “Well, I’m sorry, ma’am. I can’t give him a job. He has to go out and earn one for himself.”

    Mother: “Fine, then.”

    (She turned to leave and I noticed her husband had been face-palming behind her, shaking his head in shame.)

    Hasn’t Got A Printed Leg To Stand On

    | Washington, DC, USA | Bigotry, Bizarre

    (I work at a clothing store that sells ‘club’ clothes and party dresses. I am one of the only white girls that works here.)

    Customer: “Do you work here?”

    Me: “Yeah. What can I help you with?”

    Customer: “Do you know where… Oh, never mind. You probably don’t know.”

    Me: “Uh… I know where mostly everything is. What is it you’re looking for?”

    Customer: “Never mind. I’ll find it myself!”

    (The customer storms off. A few minutes go by, and the customer approaches one of my African-American coworkers.)

    Customer: “Hey, do you have printed leggings?”

    Coworker: “No, we don’t carry those.”

    Customer: “Well, your white coworker told me you have them!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you wouldn’t even let me answer you. I know we don’t have them.”

    Customer: “Ugh, whatever.” *storms out again*

    Me: *to coworker* “What just happened?”

    Coworker: “You just witnessed racism.”

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