Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • The Offer Is Sub-Standard
    (1,800 thumbs up)
  • August Theme Of The Month: We Are Closed!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Fresh Out Of Fresh

    | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    Customer: “Is this chicken fresh?”

    (I tap a huge sticker on the top of the meat case that says FRESH.)

    Customer: “Does that mean it’s fresh?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Because I only want it if it’s fresh.”

    Me: “It is fresh, ma’am.”

    Customer: “How fresh is it?”

    Me: “Uh…”

    Customer: “Because I only want it if it’s fresh.”

    Me: “It is.”

    (The case has four trays of chicken breast in it. She looks between the trays.)

    Customer: “Is this chicken fresher than this chicken?”

    Me: “No, I put them all in there at the same time.”

    Customer: “Well, this one looks fresher than that one. Are you sure this one isn’t fresher than that one?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Well this one looks fresher than that one. Can I see how fresh it is?”

    Me: “Uh…”

    Customer: “Because I only want it if it’s fresh.”

    Me: “As I said, ma’am, it’s perfectly fresh.”

    Customer: “Can you get me the chicken that’s the most fresh? This one looks the most fresh. Definitely more fresh than that one. Can you get me the freshest one?”

    Me: “Absolutely. I know all about being fresh.”

    Customer: “Great!”

    (I grab the nearest chicken breasts and put two in a bag for her, seal it, price it, and hand it to her.)

    Customer: “This is the freshest, right? More fresh than the other ones?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Because I only want it if it’s fresh.”

    Me: “I can assure you that I’ve been as fresh with you as I can get away with, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Great!”

    (She pays and walks out the door.)

    Coworker: “Jesus shoe-shining Christ, how many times did that lady say the word ‘fresh’?”

    Me: *shrugging* “I was really trying not to use a different F-word with her.”

    Not Game For The Games

    | Canberra, ACT, Australia | Bizarre, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (A lovely, little old lady is wandering around the game store where I work. She picks up a copy of ‘Empires’ and turns to me.)

    Customer: “What is this?”

    Me: “It is a turn based strategy game. You control an army, the opponent controls an army, and you take turns to—”

    Customer: “Yes, but what is it?”

    Me: “Well, it’s kind of like the game ‘Risk.’ There are some games that happen in ‘real time,’ where you and the opponent move at the same time, but this one—”

    Customer: “Yes, but is it a book, a CD, a board game?”

    Me: “It’s a computer game, madam. This is a computer game shop.”

    Customer: “Oh…”

    (She wanders off, picks up another game, and asks another sales associate.)

    Customer: “What is this?”

    One Is In Sickness, The Other Is in Health

    | France | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Health & Body, Spouses & Partners

    (I am returning to a patient after we have received a call from his worried wife.)

    Me: “Okay. So, we got your wife on the phone—”

    Patient: “Which one?”

    Me: “Which one what?”

    Patient: “Which wife. I have two at the moment. She didn’t say her name?”

    Me: “… No. She just said she was your wife.”

    Patient: “D***.”

    Me: “…”

    Me: “Well, at least one of your wives is worried about you, sir.”

    They’ll Toast To That

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Funny Names

    (I am standing in line at a well-known coffee shop, fairly early in the morning. I hear this exchange between an employee and the customer in front of me.)

    Customer: “Hi. Could I get a large coffee toasted with butter?”

    Employee: “… Sorry?”

    (The employee looks like she is trying not to laugh, when the customer suddenly notices what she’s said.)

    Customer: “No! Wait! I mean a large coffee and a BAGEL toasted with butter.”

    (They both burst out laughing.)

    Customer: “Sorry, it’s early. Although if you’re willing to try and toast a coffee with butter, I’ll pay just to see how it turns out!”

    Green Eyes Don’t Get You The Green

    | TN, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Health & Body, Money

    (I am keying in banking and income information for a customer who really wants to borrow 200 dollars.)

    Me: “Congratulations! You’ve been approved for $150 today!”

    Customer: “Oh, man! Thanks! Did you know you have the most beautiful green eyes I’ve ever seen, young lady?”

    Me: “Thank you so much, but our loans are computer generated amounts based on your income and banking information. I can’t approve for more than the $150.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, they aren’t that pretty after all.”

    Me: *just staring at him* “Umm?”

    Customer: “That came out wrong.”

    Page 27/132First...2526272829...Last