Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

The Test Is Inconclusive

| Bergen, Norway | Bizarre, Health & Body

(I work as a headmaster and one day drive to the local mall during lunch. One of the teachers asks to ride with me as she has an errand to run. When we get to the mall we split up, and then we meet up at the car a little later to go back to the school. The teacher is nine months pregnant when this happens.)

Teacher: *suddenly laughs, apparently for no reason*

Me: “What?”

Teacher: “I just realized why the shop assistant at the chemist was looking at me as if I am completely nuts!”

Me: “Why?”

Teacher: “Well, one of the girls in my class was really worried that she might be pregnant, and I offered to get a pregnancy test for her. So there I came, waddling in with my huge belly, and I asked where the pregnancy tests were. The look the guy gave me was priceless!”

Changing The Meaty Subject

| IN, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I’m the manager on duty on a hot day in July. A customer approaches me.)

Customer: “Your dumpster is a disgrace! It’s full of rotten meat! It smells terrible, and has maggots in it! Someone could get sick!”

Me: “Well, it’s been very hot out, and the meat department has been doing a lot of trimming lately. But I have to ask: what were you doing in our dumpster?”

Customer: “Don’t change the subject!” *storms out*

Accenting The Listening Problem

, | WA, USA | Bizarre, Language & Words

(I’m working in the drive-thru and taking orders. Note: I have no accent and I’m frequently complimented on how clearly I speak in the drive-thru.)

Me: “Hi would you like to try our new sandwich?”

Customer: “ENGLISH!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Oh, you do speak English.”

Me: “Yes, sir, I’ve been speaking English this entire time.”

Customer: “I thought you were speaking another language.”

Been Called All The Names In The Hundred-Acre Wood

| Jackson, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I have have been called just about every name in the book. I am refusing to sell beer to a customer who is too drunk.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, you’re just too intoxicated and I can’t let you have it.”

Drunk: “I’m not driving so what the f*** is your problem, fat-a**!”

Me: “I’m sorry; can’t do it.”

Drunk: “Come on, man. I won’t tell.”

Me: *being very nice as it does really bug them when I don’t get mad* “Sorry, guy, still can’t sell.”

Drunk: *getting REALLY UPSET* “You know what you are? You’re a Pooh butt! You’re a Winnie the Pooh butt!”

(I’ve heard everything but not that, so I started laughing really hard which got him more and more upset. I told him that was the funniest thing I had ever been called and he got REALLY mad and just walked out.)

All Smoke, No Mirrors

| Chicago, IL, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging, Technology

(A guest I checked in less than two hours ago is walking up to the front desk with all her luggage, ready to leave.)

Me: “How may I help you?”

Guest: “I want to check out!”

Me: “Is everything all right? I see you are checking out early.”

Guest: “I don’t want to talk about it; I want a receipt stating that I have a zero balance.”

Me: “All right, one moment. Let me get your receipt out of the back. My printer is down.”

(I come back a few seconds later with her receipt.)

Me: “Are you sure everything is all right? You seem upset and I don’t want you leaving upset.”

Guest: “Yes, actually, you can tell your people I do not appreciate them recording me while I am sleeping!”

Me: “I’m sorry, what do you mean?”

Guest: “There was a little red light flashing above my bed!”

Me: “Oh! You mean the smoke detector. That isn’t a recording device.”

Guest: “You don’t think I know the difference between a smoke detector and a recording device?! I know that if there is a blinking red that means the camera is on and recording! So please delete any footage you have of me.”

Me: “Ma’am, I am really sorry. I promise you we do not have recording devices in our guests rooms. It honestly was a smoke detector.”

Guest: “IT WAS NOT A SMOKE DETECTOR!”

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