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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    The Art Of Ordering Without Ordering

    | Olympia, WA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (I work in a restaurant and we have three kinds of shakes available: vanilla, strawberry and chocolate.)

    Me: “What can I get for you today?”

    Customer: “I would like a large chocolate shake, but without the chocolate.”

    Me: “You mean; you want a vanilla shake?”

    Customer: “Did I say I wanted a f****** vanilla shake? I said I want a CHOCOLATE SHAKE WITHOUT THE CHOCOLATE! Are you new or something?”

    Me: “No, I’ve been working here for six months. How do I make a chocolate shake without the chocolate?”

    Customer: “Ah, so, you’re f****** stupid?! You weren’t trained at all. I WANT A CHOCOLATE SHAKE WITHOUT THE CHOCOLATE, YOU UNEDUCATED LITTLE S***! My three-year-old could do your job better!”

    Me: “Okay, your total is $2.50.”

    (Customer throws the money on the table.)

    Customer: “That’s what I thought. I just have to repeat myself to you idiots.”

    (I made her a vanilla shake and handed it to her. She drank it at the table and didn’t complain at all about it.)

    Beware Of The Sweet Disposition

    | MN, USA | Bizarre, Movies & TV, Spouses & Partners

    (It’s a slow day. My coworker and I are standing at the register waiting to see if we’re having another no-show. A friendly young couple walks in and asks for two tickets to a show. Then, the girlfriend chimes in.)

    Girlfriend: “Hey, so, I see those three movies there…”

    (She points to the three poster frames in the lobby showcasing what movies we have.)

    Girlfriend: “So where do you keep the things for those?”

    Me: “Um, do you mean where do we keep the posters?”

    (The girlfriend begins shouting slowly as if I didn’t hear her.)

    Girlfriend: “THE THING FOR THE MOVIES! WHERE DO YOU KEEP IT?”

    Me: “… I, I still don’t understand. Do you mean the…”

    Girlfriend: “YOU HAVE THE THREE MOVIES IN THE SIGNS! WHERE—”

    (The boyfriend quietly slides behind her and reached his hand around to her mouth. He drops what looked like a caramel block into her mouth. As soon as he did, she immediately mellowed out and they both quietly walked out of the theater.)

    Vampire Hunting For Beginners

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (I am standing at the tills waiting for a customer to finish browsing. I look down to adjust the bags and look up to him approaching me.)

    Customer: *throws something at me*

    Me: “Sir, why did you throw a clove of garlic at me?”

    Customer: “Just wanted to test your reflexes!”

    Me: “…”

    Do Not Like

    | USA | Bizarre, Language & Words, Money

    (I work at a branch in a college town, so our customers are often in their late teens. I have just been commenting to a coworker that all these kids make me feel old when this happens.)

    Customer: “I, like, want to, like, deposit some money in, like, my, like, account.”

    Me: “Certainly. Is that going to checking or savings?”

    Customer: “Like, checking?”

    Me: “Of course. Do you want all of your check going in or would you like some cash back for yourself?”

    Customer: “Like, can I, like, get $20, like, back?”

    (I process everything through and the customer leaves.)

    Me: *to coworkers, who are dying laughing* “And that, my friends, is the future of the world. Dear god, I hope she isn’t an English major.

    The Sound Of Silence

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (A customer comes into my shoe store and requests several pairs to try on. He tries the first pair and walks around.)

    Customer: “No, no. I don’t like shoes that make noise. I need quiet shoes.”

    (I give him a new pair to try.)

    Customer: “No, I said QUIET shoes! QUIET!”

    Me: “Sir, what noise are you referring to? I’m not hearing it.”

    (He walks around more.)

    Customer: “That! You don’t hear that?”

    (All I can hear is the sound of his footsteps.)

    Me: “Can’t say I do.”

    (He begins stomping his foot on the floor.)

    Customer: “Listen to how loud those are!”

    Me: “That’s just your foot stomping.”

    Customer: “It’s the shoe!”

    Me: “So you want a shoe that won’t even make the sound of a footstep?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “… Good luck?”

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