Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

The Power Of The Lanyard

| Portland, OR, USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

(I am shopping at a popular punk/pop culture outfitter for some new shirts. I have recently moved onto a nearby college dorm and am wearing a lanyard with my keycard and keys on it that clearly have my school logo on them. I am also wearing a t-shirt referencing a popular rock band and an animated series and have a purple streak dyed in my hair. As I’m stepping out of the dressing room with several shirts, I am approached by two fellow customers.)

Customer #1: “Hi, is it okay if I try these clothes on after I buy them?”

Me: “…what?” *thinking she may be asking the employee nearby*

Customer #1: *looking me in the eye* “Yes, I want to try them on AFTER I purchase them.”

Me: *deer in headlights* “Uh… I guess there’s no harm in that.”

Customer #1: “Excellent, thank you!” *goes to pay*

(Immediately behind her, Customer #2 approaches me, having heard the entirety of our conversation.)

Customer #2: “Do you have dressing rooms?”

Me: “Yes…?” *points to the room I just exited*

(He leaves, and I turn to my friend.)

Me: “They both thought I worked here!”

Friend: *laughing* “Maybe you should apply here!”

(Considering the stupidity of those two customers, maybe I should NOT.)

Even The Batcave Has A Woman’s Restroom

| Gainesville, FL, USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

(I’m the customer in this story. I am with my girlfriend and her sister checking out one of the many Halloween stores that just opened up. I have purple and blue hair, a snapback on, facial piercings, and my arm was around my girlfriend’s shoulders. An older woman approaches me.)

Woman: *says something I don’t catch*

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Woman: “Women’s restroom?”

Me: “Uh, I don’t know. I don’t work here.”

Woman: *walks off*

(I didn’t realize until she left that she must have thought that the fact that I was wearing a lanyard meant I was working. It was a Batman lanyard with my girlfriend’s car keys on it.)

Open Is Open To Interpretation

| Pasadena, MD, USA | Awesome Workers, Bizarre

(It’s Easter Sunday, and we are open until six pm. All morning we have had people calling to make sure we are open. It’s mildly annoying, but I understand why they are calling, so I decide to have a bit of fun with it.)

Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Just calling to see if you’re open.”

Me: “No, sir, I am a pre-recorded message.”

(I hear the guy laughing until he hangs up. I get another phone call.)

Me: “No ma’am, but you can leave a message after the beep. Beep.” *customer starts laughing*

Coworker: “Did you really just answer the phone like that?”

Me: “Yes, and will continue to do so.”

A Backwards Understanding Of Technology

| Ottawa, ON, Canada | Bizarre, Technology

Me: “Hi, thank you for calling [Company]. How can I help you today?”

Caller: “Are you a real person?”

Me: “Yes, sir, I am.”

Caller: “Really?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Caller: “How do I know you’re not just programmed to respond like that?”

Me: “Well, sir, I guess you’ll just have to take my word on it.”

Caller: “No, that’s no good. Tell ya what. Tell me the name of the current Prime Minister, but say it backwards.”

Me: “Harper, Stephen.”

Caller: “I’m still not sure I’m convinced. I think I’ll just go talk to someone at one of your stores. Bye.”

Driving 100 km In Another Man’s Shoes

| Roermond, The Netherlands | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I work at the customer service desk in a big outdoor/camping store. One of my jobs is to handle returns. Today, a guy comes in. I greet him.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Yeah, hi. I bought shoes here a while ago and they’re damaged. I want new ones.”

Me: “All right. Did you bring the shoes with you? I would like to take a look.”

(The customer nods and bends down. I know what is about to happen and so does my coworker. I can tell she’s about to laugh and she walks away to make sure the customer doesn’t see her. He takes one shoe off his foot and put it on the desk. It’s smelly and feels warm.)

Customer: “There, you see? It’s damaged!”

(I ask to see his receipt and look up the procedure for this particular brand of shoes. As it turns out, I can’t give him new shoes, but instead, I have to send his shoes in for repair.)

Customer: “But how am I supposed to do that? I can’t go home without having shoes on! I need you to give me new shoes and I want a refund for the money I spent on gas! I drove over 100 km to get here!”

(At this point, I notice his t-shirt. It’s a shirt from a local amateur soccer championship in a town very near to where we are. 12 kilometers, tops.)

Me: “No, sir, I am afraid I can’t do that. I would love to send your shoes in for you. It’s no problem if you decide to come in another time. The procedures won’t change.”

(The customer then, angrily, took his shoe back, grunted and moaned, and hopped away on one leg.)

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