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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Do Not Like

    | USA | Bizarre, Language & Words, Money

    (I work at a branch in a college town, so our customers are often in their late teens. I have just been commenting to a coworker that all these kids make me feel old when this happens.)

    Customer: “I, like, want to, like, deposit some money in, like, my, like, account.”

    Me: “Certainly. Is that going to checking or savings?”

    Customer: “Like, checking?”

    Me: “Of course. Do you want all of your check going in or would you like some cash back for yourself?”

    Customer: “Like, can I, like, get $20, like, back?”

    (I process everything through and the customer leaves.)

    Me: *to coworkers, who are dying laughing* “And that, my friends, is the future of the world. Dear god, I hope she isn’t an English major.

    The Sound Of Silence

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (A customer comes into my shoe store and requests several pairs to try on. He tries the first pair and walks around.)

    Customer: “No, no. I don’t like shoes that make noise. I need quiet shoes.”

    (I give him a new pair to try.)

    Customer: “No, I said QUIET shoes! QUIET!”

    Me: “Sir, what noise are you referring to? I’m not hearing it.”

    (He walks around more.)

    Customer: “That! You don’t hear that?”

    (All I can hear is the sound of his footsteps.)

    Me: “Can’t say I do.”

    (He begins stomping his foot on the floor.)

    Customer: “Listen to how loud those are!”

    Me: “That’s just your foot stomping.”

    Customer: “It’s the shoe!”

    Me: “So you want a shoe that won’t even make the sound of a footstep?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “… Good luck?”

    Please Keep Customer Interaction To A Condominimum

    | Bloomington, IN, USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (We have a regular that comes in at least once every two weeks. He really enjoys talking to me, and for the first year of him coming in I don’t mind talking to him, even though he holds me in random conversations for 20 minutes at a time. On this particular day, I am discussing with him my upcoming internship abroad in Ireland, and this is the conversation that follows. Note that he is a man in his 60s, and I am an early 20s young woman.)

    Me: “Yeah, my grandma is supposedly already setting me up with an Irish guy over there.”

    Regular: “Well, you want to be careful. You know, you have your whole life ahead of you, and you still have so many things you want to do, and you don’t want to get tied down to anything, so you should take some condoms with you.”

    Me: *speechless*

    (Fast forward a couple months. It is one week before I leave for Ireland, and the regular comes back in.)

    Regular: “So when’s your last day?”

    Me: “My last day is tomorrow, but I leave next week.”

    Regular: “Okay, hold on.”

    (He goes outside. Meanwhile, my coworkers are teasing me about the regular. They know about the conversation with the condoms. The regular then comes back in.)

    Regular: *hands me a piece of paper* “This is my number. Text me when you get back. I’d like to hear all about it. Bye!”

    (He leaves.)

    Coworker: “Picking up guests, [My Name]?”

    Me: “I DIDN’T ASK FOR THIS!”

    Coworker: “Maybe you should put him in your phone as ‘Condom.’”

    (I leave for Ireland, spend the summer there, and the experience is wonderful. I get back and reclaim my job at the theater. One evening I’m in concessions, cupping jalapenos. The regular has seen me on a previous shift, but wasn’t too creepy then.)

    Coworker #2: “Hey, this was left for you at the box, and I have no idea what it means. No one does.”

    (I read it. It is a note asking if I wanted to go to a White Tara Experience at the local Buddhist center, on such a date at such a time. At the bottom of the note read, “Let me know if you want to go. Here’s my number, give me a call. [Regular].”)

    Well That Throws A Spanner In The Wax

    | OH, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

    (I work customer service for a retail store. We sell individual candles and you can grab them by a box. However, the box’s bar code is only for one candle not for four.)

    Customer: “I’d like to return these items.”

    (She pulls out a candle box with four candles and hands me her receipt. I begin to look it over.)

    Me: “Ma’am, you’re returning all four candles?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “Well it looks like you were originally only charged for one candle.”

    Customer: “It could be on a different receipt.”

    (I find this odd since if she grabbed the box then she probably bought the four candles together.)

    Me: “I can try looking it up by the credit card you used.”

    (She hands me the credit card over and I run it through and find that she had only been charged for one candle.)

    Me: “Well, you really were charged for only one candle.”

    Customer: “Oh! I’ll just keep these then.”

    Me: “Ma’am, now that I know that you didn’t pay for the other three, if you leave the store you would be stealing them.”

    (She ended up returning the one she wanted, too, and had to pay for the three candles she didn’t originally pay for!)

    Scary Movies

    | Bloomington, IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (We have a semi-regular that’s fairly creepy, but always super chatty. One night, as I’m cleaning the popcorn popper, he comes up to concessions without my noticing. One of my coworkers gets my attention and I go to help him.)

    Semi-Regular: “I was thinkin’ about scarin’ you, but he got your attention before I decided.”

    Me: “Oh, I don’t scare easily.”

    Semi-Regular: “Clearly you don’t know me very well.”

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