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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Thinking Outside The Box, Part 5

    | Portland, OR, USA | Awesome Customers, Bizarre

    Me: *to a customer that has just walked in* “Hi, there! Go ahead and sit anywhere you like!”

    Customer: “Can we sit outside?”

    Me: “That certainly qualifies!”

    Related:
    Thinking Outside The Box, Part 4
    Thinking Outside The Box, Part 3
    Thinking Outside The Box, Part 2

    Be-Wear Open Questions

    | Memphis, TN, USA | Bizarre, Rude & Risque

    (I work once a week at the help desk answering calls for students, alumni and guests. This exchange happened after I helped an elderly student change his password. Since this is my first day of work, I have a team leader shadowing my calls.)

    Me: “Is there anything else I can do for you today?”

    Client: “Yes, ma’am… Whatcha wearing this evening?”

    Team Leader: *muffled giggling*

    Me: *bewildered* “Uh… I’m sorry, what?”

    Client: “What are you wearing? I’m serious.”

    Me: *struggling to muffle my laughter* “Standard work clothes, sir.”

    Client: “Well, you shouldn’t be leaving yourself open to questions like that, little lady. It gets ya in trouble. You have a good day.” *hangs up*

    (I took myself out of the queue and my team leader and I spent a good five minutes laughing.)

    Doesn’t Know Beans About Listening

    | FL, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (I work as a cashier in restaurant with a store attached. All purchases, either food or merchandise, are done through me. When a customer finishes their meal, they bring me a receipt to pay for their meal, along with any other things they feel like buying. Like many stores, we have an item we try to sell to every customer who comes through the line. Its currently jelly beans.)

    Me: “Hello, sir! How are you today? Did [Server] take good care of you?”

    Customer: “Oh, yeah. She was great.”

    Me: “Is that everything for you today? Would you like to add on any jelly beans today? We have a bunch of different kinds, with just about every flavor.”

    Customer: “Yes, please. Seven.”

    Me: *shocked* “Seven, sir? Absolutely. which kind would you like? We have the regular 20 flavors, sour, ice cream, smoothie…”

    (I proceed to list every bag I can think of.)

    Customer: “What? No. I want to add seven.”

    Me: “Yes, sir, but I need to know what kind you want.”

    Customer: “What are you talking about? I. Want. To. Add. Seven.”

    Me: “Seven what?!”

    Customer: “DOLLARS.”

    Me: “Sir, are you referring to a tip? You want to add seven dollars for your server?”

    Customer: “Yes! What else would I be talking about?”

    Me: “Well, sir, I had just asked if you would like to add any jelly beans to your purchase today…”

    Mail Order Disorder

    | NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I live in an apartment complex that mainly serves as a home for elderly and handicapped residents. One afternoon, I am expecting a check to come in the mail, and I need to cash it before the bank down the street closes at 4 pm. The mail lady doesn’t arrive until 3:45. There is a crowd of people waiting for their mail, and we are all watching her load the 50-or-so mailboxes in anticipation. As soon as she put my mail into my mailbox, I approached it to grab the check, since it was almost 3:50.)

    Mail Lady: “I’m so sorry, but for policy reasons at this complex, you’re going to have to wait until I finish with all of the mail. I’m not allowed to let people grab their mail until it’s all in.”

    Me: “Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I had to wait for everyone’s mail to be put into their individual mailboxes. I just really need to get my check, but I’ll wait.”

    Mail Lady: *very friendly and understanding* “No worries. It’s all right. Most people at this complex make that mistake at least once, and try to get their mail before I’m finished. I’ll try to finish up as quick as I can so you can get your check.”

    Me: “Okay. Thanks!”

    (I walked back to the group of waiting people. Suddenly, one of the old ladies behind me tapped me hard on the shoulder. Very hard. I turned around to look at her.)

    Old Lady: *angry tone* “Hey! She said you can’t have your mail yet!”

    Me: “Oh, I understand. I didn’t realize I had to wait until it was all in. That’s why I came back to the group here to wait.”

    Old Lady: *becoming even more angry* “Don’t you talk back to me! You need to wait your turn!”

    Me: “But… I AM waiting. I’m standing right here with everyone else, waiting.”

    Old Lady: *almost screaming at me* “A brat is what you are! You NEED to WAIT YOUR TURN!”

    Me: “Oh, for the love of god, I AM WAITING! I just made a small mistake. But I’m waiting now. Leave me alone.”

    (At this point, I turned and looked away from her, figuring I’d ignore her.)

    Old Lady: *almost going into a panic* “You shouldn’t get your mail because you won’t wait your turn! JUST WAIT WITH THE REST OF US!”

    (She continues ranting about how I ‘don’t deserve’ my mail, how ‘rude’ and ‘thoughtless’ I am, etc. Finally, the mail-lady turned and looked at her.)

    Mail Lady: “Ma’am. Shut your d*** mouth and leave the poor guy alone! He didn’t do anything wrong, and he’s already CLEARLY waiting! If you don’t stop, I won’t give you your mail! You’re just a rude old bat, aren’t you?!”

    (The lady finally took the hint and left me alone. Thanks for dealing with her for me, mail lady!)

    No Room To Listen

    | NS, Canada | Bizarre, Hotels & Lodging, Theme Of The Month

    (I work for an office supply company and we have a points system for customers, like a lot of places do. You reach so many points, you get a couple bucks off your next purchase.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Company] points. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes, I’ll give you my points number” *reads it off*

    Me: “Okay, thank you. I have the name coming up as [Caller]?”

    Caller: “Yes.”

    Me: “Okay, what can I do for you?”

    Caller: “Every time I book a room with you people I always get a bad price! My coworkers always get a discount!”

    Me: “Excuse me, what? D-did you need to place an order? Do you have a question about your loyalty points?”

    Caller: “NO! What is the best price you can give me for a room! My coworkers always get a good price! I’m going away in a few weeks. I need a good price! You people rip me off!”

    Me: “Are you referring to a hotel room? This isn’t a hotel chain, ma’am, this is [Company].”

    Caller: “Aren’t you listening? No! I need a room! What is the best price you can give me?”

    Me: “Ma’am… you are calling [Company]. You just told me your points number for this company. We are not a hotel. We sell office supplies.”

    Caller: “No, this is the [Hotel Chain]!”

    Me: “No… it isn’t.”

    Caller: “It isn’t?”

    Me: “No…”

    Caller: “Oh…” *click*

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