Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Needs To Get That Chip Off Their Shoulder

| BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(I work in a jewelry store in Canada. In Canada, chip-enabled credit cards are the norm, since they provide extra security against fraud, and the cashier doesn’t have to check ID or take a signature. However, my company’s policy is to ALWAYS check customer ID with credit cards, even if they have a chip – no matter how small the purchase is.)

Customer: “Yes, I’ll take the bracelet. Thank you.”

Me: “Fantastic! How would you like to pay today?”

Customer: “Visa, please.”

Me: “No problem, but could I just see a piece of photo ID with the credit card, please?”

Customer: “But it has a chip. You don’t need ID with a chip card. That’s the whole point of the chip.”

Me: “I’m so sorry, sir, it’s just our company policy in order to protect you and other customers when paying with credit. If you’d prefer to pay with a debit card or cash, I won’t need to see any ID at all.”

Customer: “This has never happened to me before! The whole point of a CHIP is so that I don’t need ID!”

Me: “I’m so sorry, sir! If you’d like to run home and grab a debit card or cash, I’d be happy to hold your bracelet for you.”

Customer: “That’s the strangest thing I’ve ever heard. How ridiculous. Could you get your manager?”

Me: “Of course, I’d be happy to.”

(As I move to fetch my manager, the customer grins and throws down two pieces of valid government issued photo ID that match his card.)

Customer: “I’m sorry, sweetheart. I was just teasing you. It’s true I’ve never had this happen to me before, but it’s a really good policy! Good for you for not backing down!”

(I am utterly speechless, but we finish the transaction pleasantly enough)

Customer: “I feel terrible for bugging you like that, but you can tell your manager you’re a star!”

Hopes And Dreams In Aisle Four

| Dallas, TX, USA | Bizarre

(I’m at the register checking out a customer.)

Me: “Hi! How are you doing today? Did you find everything you were looking for?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. What were you unable to find today?”

Customer: “I didn’t find a million dollars. Or a man made of gold. Or 11 inches!”

(I’m trying to keep a straight face.)

Me: “Did you try the garden center?”

Has Led A Sugar-Coated Existence

| Australia | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

(For sanitary reasons, we do not add sugar to our customer’s coffee. There are sugar packets and spoons in front of the register for the customers to use.)

Me: “Here’s your regular latte, sir. Have a good day!”

Customer: “…are there two sugars in this?”

Me: “No sir, but there are sugar packets just in front for you.”

Customer: *looking very confused* “But how is the sugar going to get in my coffee?”

Me: “You can just put it in…” *customer is still frowning at me like he doesn’t understand*

Me: “Never mind. I’ll help you with that.”

(I take two sugar packets from right in front of this man, tear them open and pour in the sugar. Then I stir it in and slide it back across the counter to him.)

Me: “Just like that, sir. Have a good day!”

Customer: “Ugh, bye.” *storms off muttering something under his breath*

(Meanwhile, my coworker and I stood there wondering how this man had gotten through 40-something years of his life without stirring in sugar!)

When You Know You’ve Worked Too Many Doubles

, | Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

(I’m working the drive-thru late at night when a man pulls up to the window wearing a latex horse mask; his friend in the passenger’s seat is wearing a Guy Fawkes mask.)

Driver: “Evening. I’d like some cheese, please.”

(I stand there for a few seconds, wondering if I’m dreaming.)

Me: “…you mean a cheeseburger?”

Driver: “No, just a slice of cheese, thanks.”

(Without breaking my line of sight with the driver, I grab a single slice of cheese and give it to him.)

Driver: “Thank you. Would you like a turtle?”

(The passenger reaches into the back seat and pulls from it a large snapping turtle.)

Me: “No thank you, sir.”

Driver: “You sure? His name’s Waylon.”

Me: “I’m sure, sir.”

Driver: “Well, have a nice night.”

(I have yet to tell any of my co-workers about this in fear of them laughing and saying I made it up.)

Sanity Unplugged

| Detroit, MI, USA | Bizarre, Technology, Theme Of The Month

(A customer in what sounds to be her forties calls in for having trouble with her TV.)

Me: “So, let’s start by doing a reboot. Can you please unplug the furthest cord on the left for 10 seconds then plug it back in?”

Customer: “Okay, I don’t know why I HAVE to do this; you should come over and do this.”

Me: *jokingly* “Ha ha. Well, I would but you live in Texas and I am in Michigan.”

Customer: “So? I am the customer; you should do what I say!”

Me: “Ma’am, it would take me a week to get to you. Now, can I just get you to plug the cord back in to see if we can get it working?”

Customer: “Where do I plug it in?”

Me: *dumbfounded* “Where it was unplugged from: the far left slot. You can’t miss it.”

Customer: “Okay, but where is that?”

Me: *at this point I’m not in the mood for this level of dumb* “Oh, well, it looks like your line is damaged and will need a technician. This is why your TV wasn’t working. How about if I get a technician out there?”

Customer: “Must have been my dead husband. He’s been haunting me for years.”

Me: “So… 8-12 tomorrow morning?”

Customer: “That would be great. Thanks dear, and don’t forget, masturbation is a sin!”

(I got an extra break after that call because I couldn’t stop laughing.)

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