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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Mail Order Disorder

    | NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I live in an apartment complex that mainly serves as a home for elderly and handicapped residents. One afternoon, I am expecting a check to come in the mail, and I need to cash it before the bank down the street closes at 4 pm. The mail lady doesn’t arrive until 3:45. There is a crowd of people waiting for their mail, and we are all watching her load the 50-or-so mailboxes in anticipation. As soon as she put my mail into my mailbox, I approached it to grab the check, since it was almost 3:50.)

    Mail Lady: “I’m so sorry, but for policy reasons at this complex, you’re going to have to wait until I finish with all of the mail. I’m not allowed to let people grab their mail until it’s all in.”

    Me: “Oh. I’m sorry. I didn’t realize I had to wait for everyone’s mail to be put into their individual mailboxes. I just really need to get my check, but I’ll wait.”

    Mail Lady: *very friendly and understanding* “No worries. It’s all right. Most people at this complex make that mistake at least once, and try to get their mail before I’m finished. I’ll try to finish up as quick as I can so you can get your check.”

    Me: “Okay. Thanks!”

    (I walked back to the group of waiting people. Suddenly, one of the old ladies behind me tapped me hard on the shoulder. Very hard. I turned around to look at her.)

    Old Lady: *angry tone* “Hey! She said you can’t have your mail yet!”

    Me: “Oh, I understand. I didn’t realize I had to wait until it was all in. That’s why I came back to the group here to wait.”

    Old Lady: *becoming even more angry* “Don’t you talk back to me! You need to wait your turn!”

    Me: “But… I AM waiting. I’m standing right here with everyone else, waiting.”

    Old Lady: *almost screaming at me* “A brat is what you are! You NEED to WAIT YOUR TURN!”

    Me: “Oh, for the love of god, I AM WAITING! I just made a small mistake. But I’m waiting now. Leave me alone.”

    (At this point, I turned and looked away from her, figuring I’d ignore her.)

    Old Lady: *almost going into a panic* “You shouldn’t get your mail because you won’t wait your turn! JUST WAIT WITH THE REST OF US!”

    (She continues ranting about how I ‘don’t deserve’ my mail, how ‘rude’ and ‘thoughtless’ I am, etc. Finally, the mail-lady turned and looked at her.)

    Mail Lady: “Ma’am. Shut your d*** mouth and leave the poor guy alone! He didn’t do anything wrong, and he’s already CLEARLY waiting! If you don’t stop, I won’t give you your mail! You’re just a rude old bat, aren’t you?!”

    (The lady finally took the hint and left me alone. Thanks for dealing with her for me, mail lady!)

    No Room To Listen

    | NS, Canada | Bizarre, Hotels & Lodging, Theme Of The Month

    (I work for an office supply company and we have a points system for customers, like a lot of places do. You reach so many points, you get a couple bucks off your next purchase.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Company] points. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes, I’ll give you my points number” *reads it off*

    Me: “Okay, thank you. I have the name coming up as [Caller]?”

    Caller: “Yes.”

    Me: “Okay, what can I do for you?”

    Caller: “Every time I book a room with you people I always get a bad price! My coworkers always get a discount!”

    Me: “Excuse me, what? D-did you need to place an order? Do you have a question about your loyalty points?”

    Caller: “NO! What is the best price you can give me for a room! My coworkers always get a good price! I’m going away in a few weeks. I need a good price! You people rip me off!”

    Me: “Are you referring to a hotel room? This isn’t a hotel chain, ma’am, this is [Company].”

    Caller: “Aren’t you listening? No! I need a room! What is the best price you can give me?”

    Me: “Ma’am… you are calling [Company]. You just told me your points number for this company. We are not a hotel. We sell office supplies.”

    Caller: “No, this is the [Hotel Chain]!”

    Me: “No… it isn’t.”

    Caller: “It isn’t?”

    Me: “No…”

    Caller: “Oh…” *click*

    When The Cat’s Away The Pranks Come Out To Play

    | Columbus, OH, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Pets & Animals

    (It’s a very slow day so I decide to take one of our cats out of her cage and hold her. She’s slung herself over my shoulder when a guy walks in.)

    Me: “Hello. Is there anything I can help you with today?”

    Customer: *staring at the cat* “Holy s***! Is that thing real?”

    Me: *sarcastically* “Nope. It’s a new animatronic model from Google. We’re testing them in stores to eventually give people an option for a pet without the mess!”

    Customer: “That’s so awesome!! I have to tell my friends!”

    (He ran out the store before I could tell him I was joking.)

    Listen To The Irony Of The Situation

    | Abilene, TX, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I work as a cashier in a grocery store that values guest service very highly. We’re expected to greet, converse with, and thank every customer. My current customer, a young woman, is talking on her cell phone.)

    Me: “Hello. How are you today?”

    Customer #1: *talking on phone* “… and then we went to the mall and shopped for mom’s birthday…”

    (Noticing she’s on her phone, I don’t attempt to make any more conversation other than ‘paper or plastic’ and ‘sign here, please.’ She doesn’t say a word to me. I then turn to the next person in line, an older lady shopping with a friend.)

    Me: “Hi! Did y’all find everything you needed today?”

    Customer #2: *ignoring me, speaking to her friend* “Can you believe that girl? When I’m working at [Retailer], I won’t ring them up until they get off the phone. So rude!”

    Me: “Would you like your milk in a bag, ma’am?”

    Customer #2: *still speaking to friend* “I mean, is your conversation SO important that you can’t pay attention to the person in front of you?”

    Me: “Your total is [amount]. Can you sign the screen, please?”

    Customer #2: *signs without looking at me, still chatting* “Common courtesy is dead, I’m afraid.”

    Me: *quietly bagging the groceries* “Thank you. Here is your receipt. Have a nice day.”

    (They left without a word. Some people just aren’t very self-aware, I guess!)

    Takes A Toll On The Soul

    | USA | Bizarre, Money, Religion

    (I am a phone customer service rep for a government agency that has been strongly encouraging constituents to use our website for basic governmental functions. It is my first day out of training.)

    Me: “How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Hello. I just want to know if you charge spiritual taxes to people of certain religious beliefs?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Caller: “Spiritual taxes. Do you charge them for using your website?”

    Me: “… I think that’s more a question for your religious leader of choice, but no, to the best of my knowledge we do not charge taxes on the soul for using our website.”

    Caller: “Oh, wonderful!” *click*

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