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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Seven, Eight, Nein!

    | MD, USA | Bizarre, Language & Words

    (I work part time at my dad’s plumbing company, which bears our last name, doing basic office work, and learning about running a business. I’m filling out a work order for an older customer’s rental home. We live in an area with a lot of German heritage.)

    Me: “And can I have your address?”

    Customer: “It’s seventy-seven [Street Name].”

    (I write the address down and, per usual, cross my sevens.)

    Customer: “Look at your sevens. That’s a very German way of writing.”

    Me: “Well, you know, as you can tell from my very German last name, we’ve got a lot of German blood.”

    Customer: *leaning in and glaring* “That’s how they found the Nazis you know. They made them write stuff down and look at their sevens.”

    (The customer is now quite close to my face and glaring at me.)

    Me: “You don’t say…” *slowly backing up behind the service counter* “Well, I think I got everything here…”

    Customer: *suddenly very chipper* “That’s great! Hope to see you soon!”

    Dad: *apparently overhearing everything* “Did that guy just call us Nazis?!”

    Needs To Re-edit Their Workload

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (I have a regular customer who comes in and asks me to help him type up real estate documents, as he is an elderly real estate agent who lacks a secretary, and his typing skills are nil. Usually, his work takes quite a while and he is always willing to let me help other customers with basic orders in between working on his documents.)

    Me: “All right, sir. Here’s a printed copy of the documents we just edited. If you would just review those and let me know if we need to change anything? I’m going to step aside so [Coworker] can help her customer really quick, then I’ll finish your order.”

    Customer: *mumbles assent and takes stack of papers*

    (I wait off to one side while my customer reads his paperwork. When he’s finished, my coworker is just about to wrap up with HER customer, when my customer speaks up.)

    Customer: “HEY! When did I get pushed to the side?! We’re working on my order!”

    Me: “Err… [Coworker] was just finishing up some quick prints for her customer, but we can get back to working on yours, I suppose!”

    (I sit, bring up the rest of the customer’s documents and ask him for his notes. My coworker apologizes to her customer and the two of them wait off to one side.)

    Me: *pulling up the next set of notes* “So, what did we need to do with this set?”

    Customer: “Why don’t you help that girl!? If she’s just going to print a few things, you might as well get them out of the way, because my stuff’s going to take longer! Besides, you young people are always so impatient and I don’t want you hovering over me while I work!”

    (My coworker and I exchanged glances, and then traded places once again so she could finish helping her customer as was originally planned.)

    I’m Not La La Laughing

    | San Antonio, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

    (I’m listening in on a call my husband/coworker is taking.)

    Husband: “Ma’am, I apologize, your assumption was not correct. The service is not transferable and must be used by the end of next month. This information is stated on our website and on the receipt we sent you at the time of purchase.”

    Caller: “La la la la la la la la!”

    Husband: “Ma’am, I can continue to assist you but we need to have this conversation like grown-ups. If you insist on acting like a child, I will have to put you in time out by hanging up”

    Caller: “Well, f*** you!” *click*

    Me: “Aren’t you glad you married me instead of someone like that?”

    Husband: “If you acted like that, we wouldn’t have even started dating.”

    I Scream For A Crouton

    | Cambridge, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I work in a coffee shop inside a bookshop. It is always very quiet in there and we are rarely very busy but the shop is popular with mothers and young children. There are two parents with their two young daughters. The girls are chatting amongst themselves but not being especially obtrusive. Two older ladies approach me at the counter.)

    Old Lady #1: “Two mushroom soups, please,”

    (I begin dishing up and the second old lady goes to get spoons from the stand which is about six feet away from the counter.)

    Old Lady #1: “Those little ones are being awfully loud aren’t they? We came here for a bit of peace and quiet.”

    Me: “I am sorry, Madam, but they’re only wee, and they don’t seem to be bothering anyone else. Now, would you like croutons with your soup?”

    Old Lady #1: “Well, I certainly would and er… Hang on a tick dear—” *at the top of her voice* “MARTHA! MARTHA!”

    (Old Lady #2 doesn’t react.)

    Old Lady #1: *even louder* “MARTHA!”

    Old Lady #2: *turns around* “WHAT?!”

    Old Lady #1: “DO YOU WANT CROUTONS?!”

    Old Lady #2: “WHAT?”

    Old Lady #1: “CROUTONS, MARTHA!”

    A Sickening Request

    | Memphis, TN, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (I work as a cashier in a gourmet grocery store known for its healthier food options. The store provides coffee samples with napkins and stirrers, and a lot of customers end up asking us to throw their unused napkins away. A customer approaches me with a full basket.)

    Customer: “Geez, it’s terrible how sick everyone’s getting. Is anyone out sick here?”

    Me: “Yeah, we’re pretty short handed here today.”

    Customer: “Well, you know with a job like this you have to be extra careful! So many people touching things and breathing the same air! It’s so easy for gals like you to get sick.” *she produces a napkin from her hand. It’s balled up* “By the way, could you throw this away for me?”

    (I cringe but can’t refuse, and after a moment I finish ringing her up.)

    Me: “That’ll be [price].”

    Customer: “Thanks for being so quick, hon. I gotta get home soon. I’m not feeling great and think I got a cold!”

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