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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Not Quite The (Ice) Cream Of The Crop

    | UK | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I work in a very popular chocolate shop that also sells ice cream in the summer. It is a particularly busy, hot Saturday. I am serving ice cream. There was a huge line of customers. Suddenly, a customer strolls into the store, leaving her bicycle outside. Eventually, it is her turn.)

    Customer: “Finally. I’ll have a hazelnut.”

    Me: “Sure, a double or a single?”

    Customer: “Double.”

    Me: “Would you like it in a cone or a tub?”

    Customer: “A bag.”

    Me: “…Pardon?”

    Customer: “A bag.”

    (I look at her for a moment)

    Me: “I’m sorry, Miss, but the ice cream only comes in a cone or a tub.”

    Customer: “Well, I need it in a bag. Do you have a bag?”

    (We put chocolate in small transparent bags, but they would definitely not fit an ice cream tub, also there are no lids on the tubs to cover the ice cream.)

    Me: “It won’t fit in one of our bags, miss.”

    Customer: “Yes, it will. Get one.”

    (I protest again, but fetch her bag anyway. I present it to her and show her the size, to prove it won’t fit.)

    Me: “See, Miss? It’s too small. The tub won’t fit in there.”

    Customer: “Oh, honestly, how do you even have a job? Do you even have a brain?”

    (I’m hurt by this comment, and am getting quite angry.)

    Me: “Look, it won’t fit; I don’t know what you’d like me to do.”

    Customer: “Let me do it, girl.”

    (She proceeds to take the full-to-the-brim ice cream tub and squeeze it into the bag sideways, smearing her ice cream all down the sides. I stare at her in disbelief. Ice cream is dripping everywhere.)

    Customer: “Was that so hard?”

    Me: *still staring* “Would… you like a spoon?”

    (She held out the open bag and I dropped in a small plastic spoon with the already nearly melted ice cream. She paid and left. I watched her outside the window as she put her bag of squished ice cream into the child-seat of her bicycle, STRAPPED UP THE SEAT BELT, and cycled away down the road. I stared in disbelief for the rest of the day.)

    Here To Serve, Not Serviette

    | PA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    Patron: “Could I get some napkins?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Patron: *sighs* “Napkins! Where are your napkins?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but we don’t have any napkins”.

    Patron: “What?! Why not?”

    Me: “Because we’re a library…”

    (Our library does not sell food or have any reason to offer napkins.)

    Making The Feathers Fly

    | MN, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

    (I am a chef. The server is fairly new. This is one of her first solo shifts. This couple comes in at the very end of lunch. They are the only customers in the building.)

    Male Customer: “Are the chickens fresh?”

    Server: “Yup. We pull the feathers in the back.”

    Male Customer: “Okay. I’ll take the chicken sandwich and some feathers.”

    Female Customer: “I’ll have the cheeseburger.”

    (The server enters their order in the computer. She then grabs their drinks and drops them off at the table.)

    Male Customer: “Where are the feathers?”

    Server: “I just rang them in.” *laughs*

    (I cook the food and call out for the server. She picks up the order and brings it out to the table.)

    Male Customer: “Where are my f****** feathers? If you don’t bring me my f****** feathers I am going to punch you in the face.”

    Server: “I’ll be right back.”

    (She goes and gets the manager who goes up to the table.)

    Manager: “Is there a problem?”

    Male Customer: “I want my feathers. She said you had chicken feathers. She said you had them. If she doesn’t bring them out I am going to punch her.”

    Manager: “You need to leave. Now.”

    (As strange as this whole situation was, looking back on it now the thing I found the weirdest wasn’t the chicken feather guy. It was his girlfriend that didn’t say a thing through the entire ‘WTF’ conversation the guy had with the server and the manager.)

    Left Their Brain In Their Other Lifestyle

    | Brea, CA, USA | Bizarre, Language & Words

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Company]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I would like to order a replacement statement.”

    Me: “Okay, sure thing. First to access your account, I’ll ask a couple of verification questions.”

    Customer: “Okay!”

    Me: “May I have your address please?”

    Customer: “Address? What you mean like, where I live?”

    Me: “Yes, sir?”

    Customer: *gives address*

    (After verifying my customer I then proceed to his request.)

    Me: “Okay, sir. I have your statements ready to be sent. Would you like it sent to the address on file or an alternate?”

    Customer: “I don’t live an alternative lifestyle.  I  just want my statements.”

    The Slippery Subject Of Price

    | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (A customer puts bananas on the conveyor belt at my till. I pick them up and type the

    number for the bananas in.)

    Customer: “Wait up. The bananas are [price] for one set of bananas, not [price] for one single banana.”

    Me: “No. We have no scales here so the price of fruit is per single item.”

    Customer: “You didn’t explain that fast enough so I’m not getting them.”

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