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  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Talking To Private Line

    | OH, USA | Bizarre, Military

    (I am a customer service representative for a big phone company.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Phone Company]! My name is [Name]! Is the phone number you’re calling in reference to [Phone Number]?

    Caller: “Yes.”

    Me: “Great! And how can I assist you today?”

    Caller: “I am just calling to warn you. I have an army ready to take down [Phone Company].”

    Me: “Uhm… okay. I’m sorry? Is there a problem I can help you resolve?”

    Caller: “No! I don’t want your help. I know how you people are. You’re all after one thing. Money. You’ve charged my bill like crazy. ON. PURPOSE. We are going to take you down!”

    Me: “I’m sorry that you’re having a billing issue sir. I’m sure I can fix it for you. I’m taking a look at your bill right now—”

    Caller: “I don’t want your help! I have friends in the government!”

    Me: “Sir, I’m not sure what the issue is. What can I do to help you?”

    Caller: “Tell your boss. And your boss’s boss. I’m going to take you down! You think you can cheat me!?”

    Me: “No… sir?”

    Caller: *hangs up*

    Flip Flop Flop

    | NM, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money, Themed Giveaway

    (I work in a department store selling shoes. I’m all alone in my department one night. A rather bedraggled looking customer comes in, grabs a display sandal, and slams them on my counter.)

    Customer: “I want to buy these.”

    Me: “Okay. What size do you need?”

    Customer: “Whatever. Just pick one.”

    (I look down at his feet to estimate his size, and notice he is barefoot. I go back into the stock room and grab a pair of the sandals he wants. When I get back out to the counter, security is standing there waiting.)

    Me: “Okay, sir. I grabbed you a nine. Do you want to try them on?”

    Customer: “No. Just ring them up.”

    Me: “Okay. That’ll be $107.80.”

    (The customer rummages through his wallet for several minutes, and finally hands me $4.)

    Me: “Thank you, sir. Now we just need $103.80.”

    Customer: “I handed it to you, sweetie.”

    Me: “You only handed me $4. That’s not enough for these shoes.”

    Customer: “Oh, gosh, sweetie. I’m sorry. Here.”

    (The customer hands me another stack of dollar bills, which I count. He’s still about $70 short.)

    Me: “Okay. That’ll be another $70.”

    Customer: “I already gave it to you!”

    (I count out the total bills he handed me, and show him my screen showing the total. I grab a calculator and work out the difference for him.)

    Customer: “I’M TELLING YOU, I ALREADY PAID YOU!”

    Security: “You didn’t pay her enough, sir.”

    Customer: “Screw this place!”

    (The customer takes his money back and storms out the door.)

    Me: *to security* “Well, that was interesting.”

    Security: “I told him he couldn’t be in here without shoes, so he said he’d go buy some. Glad to see that worked out for him.”

    Drowning Hamster Requires Mouse To Mouse

    | LA, USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals, Themed Giveaway

    (The small rodents are stored in aquariums with screen tops. A customer comes in and looks over the hamster tank.)

    Me: “Is there anything I can help you with today, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Yeah, what kinda fish dis be here?”

    Me: “Ma’am, that’s not a fish. That is a hamster.”

    Customer: “What kinda fish is a hamster? Is it one of the ocean things?”

    Me: “Ma’am, hamsters are rodents. They are not any species of fish.”

    Customer: “Where’s its water?”

    Me: “In the bottle hanging on the side, right there.”

    Customer: “You mean dat poor thing can’t even get in the water? What kind of place be keepin’ fish dat ain’t even in water? I ain’t spendin’ my money here. That’s cruelty. Shame on you!”

    (The customer storms out of the store indignantly. I’m still confused.)

    Bizarre Behavior Themed Giveaway Roundup

    | Not Always Right | Bizarre, Roundups

    Bizarre Behavior Themed Giveaway Roundup! Here’s a final roundup of stories from last month’s themed giveaway!

    1. Was Not Performed In Chest (1,138 thumbs up)
    2. This Store Takes Credit (1,0673 thumbs up)
    3. A Sudden Stamp Of Recognition (1,737 thumbs up)
    4. Doesn’t Give Two Hoots About Listening (2,203 thumbs up)
    5. A Streetcar Named Cheshire (1,604 thumbs up)

    PS #1: check out our Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    No Escape From Stupid Moments, Part 2

    | Halifax, NS, Canada | Bizarre, Themed Giveaway

    (I work in a three-level retail store, on the bottom floor. Access to the connected mall is only on the second and third floors. It’s a pretty big place, and sometimes customers get confused as to where to go or how to leave. One day a customer comes running up to my cash, pushing next to a customer I’m ringing in.)

    Customer: “Come on. I want to leave!”

    Me: “Um…”

    Customer: “I want to go! I want to leave!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Did you need help with something?”

    Customer: “I want to go. I’m in a hurry! I want to get out!”

    (The customer is near screaming now, and she looks ready to snap.)

    Me: “You want to leave the store?”

    Customer: “Yes! How do I get out? I want to leave right now. I’m in a hurry!”

    (I point at the two sets of large glass doors no more than twenty feet away, with the sun shining through them.)

    Me: “Uh. The exit’s just right there, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Where?!”

    Me: “Right down there, ma’am. At the end of the aisle.”

    (The customer runs down the aisle, looking as if someone is about to grab her and chain her to a fixture, and bursts out of the doors.)

    Me: “…I guess when you’ve got to go, you’ve got to go.”

    Related:
    No Escape From Stupid Moments


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