Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Try To Flush This Customer From Your System

| Mankato, MN, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

(I am looking at cold medicine when a man stops me.)

Man: “Excuse me; do you know where the laxatives are?”

(Assuming he had a good reason for asking a stranger, I show him a few aisles over.)

Man: “Oh, this can’t be right… What about suppositories?”

(Very awkward items to ask for, but I find them and try to walk away.)

Man: “This goes where? Oh god! I am trying this new diet thing… But it can’t be correct.”

Me: “Well, there are some diets these days that try to ‘flush’ you out, so it’s not uncommon.”

(Visually perplexed, he sets them back and mumbles:)

Me: “I better rethink this.”

(I quickly wander to a completely different section of the store, and shortly after, he came up to me again.)

Man: “So, do you even work here?”

Me: “No, sir.”

Man: “Huh…” *he slowly walks away*

That’s One For The Books

| USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Books & Reading

(A customer drives up to the store, gets out, comes in, and walks directly up to the counter without looking at a single book or item for sale. Before I can even welcome him…)

Customer: “You are going to lose your job.”

Me: *shocked* “I am?”

Customer: “No one likes books anymore. Your store is going to shut down and you’ll be out of a job.”

(He turned around, walked out without looking at a single item, jumped in his car, and left.)

Dude Needs Some Sleep

| Big Rapids, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(I’m working on register at about eight am when a middle-aged woman walks in. She is quite intoxicated.)

Customer: “I slept in the woods last night.”

Me: “Okay? How can I help you?”

Customer: “I had to put this flower in my hair because they said I looked like a dude. I’m not a dude. Do you think I look like a dude?”

Me: “No… What can I help you with?”

Customer: “I need cigarettes. But they made me sleep outside in the woods. I don’t know where. But they kept calling me a dude!”

(I ring up her cigarettes hoping she leaves soon.)

Customer: “It’s like that song. Dude looks like a lady. Except the opposite. Lady looks like a dude. I’M NOT A DUDE!”

Make Him Go Red In The Face

| Louisville, KY, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Pets & Animals, Rude & Risque

(My father runs a dog grooming shop, and I have been helping him out there since I was about 10 during times when I’m not in school. During the time of this exchange, I was maybe 14 and working the counter when an older man, maybe in his 50s or 60s, came to pick up his dog.)

Man: “I’m here to pick up Maggie.”

Me: “All right, that’ll be $42 today.”

Man: *smiles* “So, is your hair dyed, or are you a natural redhead?”

(I had recently bleached my hair from black in an attempt to get it light enough to dye bright red. It was a bright orange color from the bleach, and very obviously not a natural color. On top of that, my eyebrows are dark brown, revealing my natural color.)

Me: “Um, I bleached it from black, and it just kind of turned this color. It wasn’t on purpose.”

Man: “Oh, I see. Yeah, my ex-wife was a redhead. Feisty little thing, she was.”

Me: “Oh, that’s nice.” *awkward smile*

Man: “But, yeah, I’m just bringing Maggie by to be groomed while I’m waiting for my wife to get out of physical therapy. She can’t move around very well.”

Me: “All right. Well, if you’d like to hand over your leash and collar, I’ll go get Maggie for you.”

(I go to get the dog and he leaves with her, only to forget his wallet on the counter. Still not sure if he did that on purpose or not, really. I of course have to call him and let him know that we have it, so he immediately returns.)

Me: “Here’s your wallet, sir.”

Man: “Thanks. Haha, you didn’t use my card to buy a new car, did you?”

(Considering the subtle yet creepy lines he’d dropped, I wasn’t sure if he had realized how young I was. I decided to drop a hint.)

Me: “Oh, no, haha. I’m nowhere near old enough to drive.”

(He started to look a bit surprised and just left with a simple thank you. I haven’t seen him since.)

Don’t Hand It To Racism

| Chicago, IL, USA | Bigotry, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I used to work at a cookie shop at the mall. At this point the customer’s cookie is wrapped and put on the counter in front of me so I can handle her money.)

Customer: “Where is my cookie?”

Me: *points* “It’s right there.”

Customer: “Well, why didn’t you hand it to me?”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am.”

(I pick up the cookie and hand it to her.)

Customer: “What, do you not touch black people or nothing?!”

(I have no idea how to react to this as she stomps off.)

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