Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • His Attitude Speaks Volumes
    (1,895 thumbs up)
  • August Theme Of The Month: We Are Closed!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    This Caller Has Been Barred

    | CO, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m the night auditor. It’s about 3 am and the phone rings.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Hotel]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I just wanted to check rates for these dates.”

    Me: “Absolutely. We have two queens or a king for these prices.”

    Caller: “Oh, okay. What is there to do in the area?”

    Me: “We’re popular for our hiking trails and outdoor activities, as well as our variety of small breweries—”

    Caller: “Are there any gay bars?”

    Me: “Not that I know of.”

    Caller: “What?! No gay bars?!”

    Me: “I’m afraid not.”

    Caller: “Well… where do you go?”

    Me: “To… the regular bars?”

    Caller: “Okay, because I got a couple of lesbians coming there for their honeymoon.”

    Me: “Well, I assure you there are plenty of bars to choose from. So, how many nights shall I book you for?”

    Caller: “Oh, I’ll have to talk to them.” *click*

    (He called and had the exact same conversation with me three more times in two weeks before getting my manager, who told him he needed to stop harassing me.)

    Should Have Released The Booking

    | Fort Collins, CO, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Hotels & Lodging, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

    (The phone rings at about 4 am.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Hotel]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Yes. I need to place a reservation for Monday, checking out Wednesday.”

    Me: “Absolutely. Let me check the rates for those nights.”

    (We continue our conversation; he is booking a room normally enough until I ask for credit card information.)

    Me: “Okay, you’re all set. I just need a credit card to hold the room.”

    Caller: *sounding a little taken aback* “Oh, yes… of course… Let me get my card for you. Hold on.”

    (This is followed by two minutes of muffled sounds.)

    Caller: *clearly out of breath* “Okay, sorry, had to go upstairs. Hang on, let me grab it.”

    Me: “Umm. Okay.”

    (Another 45 seconds of muffled panting.)

    Caller: “All right. Got it.” *gives me the number* “So… have you ever just, you know, needed a release?”

    Me: *pretending to not hear the question* “I’m sorry.? What was that?”

    Caller: “Okay. Thanks for all your help!” *hangs up*

    (He never showed up or called to cancel and his credit card info was expired.)

    Hopefully Customers Like This Aren’t A Dime A Dozen

    | Springfield, MO, USA | Bizarre, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at the customer service desk, where we also sell helium-filled party balloons. A customer approaches my desk.)

    Customer: “Can I get a balloon with no air in it?”

    Coworker: “Okay, that’s 10 cents.”

    (He gives me a dime and takes the balloon and leaves. He comes back shortly.)

    Customer: “Do you have any bigger ones?”

    (I think this is weird, but I decides to help out instead of question.)

    Coworker: “Okay, I think this one looks bigger.”

    (He gives me another dime and leaves. Sometime later, he returns.)

    Customer: “Are you sure this is the biggest you have?”

    Coworker: “Yes, sir.”

    Customer: “Okay, I’m going to say it. Do you sell condoms without any of that goo on it?”

    You’re Through To The Fee Line

    | Scottsdale, AZ, USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals, Tourists/Travel, Transportation

    (I do quality assurance for a travel agency. My job is to monitor the calls to make sure that the agents are being honest with the members. One day, I’m listening to a member asking questions about booking a cruise. Most of them are pretty standard, and then I hear this:)

    Agent: “Now that I have your cruise all booked for you, do you have any other questions for me?”

    Member: “Just one, and it’s very important. Does my cat need a passport?”

    Agent: “Ummm…”

    Fortune Favors The Foretold

    | USA | Bizarre, Books & Reading, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer walks up to bookstore counter. Our bookstore isn’t very big, and it doesn’t have a lot of employees, but a lot of regulars.)

    Me: “Are you having trouble finding any books?”

    Customer: “I need my fortune told!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. This is a bookstore. We don’t do fortune telling.”

    Customer: “I need my fortune told!”

    Me: “Again, we don’t do fortunes. But if you need to find a book, I can get someone to help you.”

    Customer: “I NEED MY FORTUNE TOLD!”

    (At this point I realize it’s easier to give the customer her fortune, real or not, than to try to explain that, no, this is not a fortune telling area.)

    Me: “Okay, okay. Give me your hand.”

    Customer: “What? Really? Oh, thank you. Thank you!”

    (Customer eagerly gives me her hand, palm up. I stare intensely at it, tracing each line and muttering to myself.)

    Me: *looks up* “Your future…”

    Customer: “YES!?”

    Me: “Your future is uncertain.”


    Page 21/130First...1920212223...Last