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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Now You’re Talking

    | Allentown, PA, USA | Bizarre

    (I am alone in my store when a customer comes in. Because of where I am located, I can’t get to within her line of sight immediately, but it’s not a very big store so she can hear me.)

    Me: “Hi! How are you today?”

    Customer: “I’m well, thanks, and you?”

    Me: “Fine, thank you!”

    (I continue talking as I walk. I am now two feet away from her and wearing a nametag.)

    Me: “Has it been a while since were here?”

    Customer: “Oh. Um. I guess it has?”

    Me: “Okay, welcome back!”

    (She gives me a puzzled look.)

    Customer: “Do you, um, work here or something?

    Me: *baffled* “Yes, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Oh, I thought you were another customer. I wondered why you were so chatty!”

    Listening Skills Don’t Carry Much Weight

    | WV, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Transportation

    (I am a cashier at a grocery store. Our management does not allow customers to take shopping carts outside. Instead, if a customer has a large order of groceries, we load them into a trolley and an employee follows the customer to their vehicles with the groceries. We always have employees on-hand to do these carry outs. An elderly customer comes to my register with several two-liters of soda and a box containing a 12-pack of soda, among other things. Thinking that this must be heavy, I offer to call a carry out for her.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am, would you like a carry out today?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Would you like help out?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Would you like help out to your car?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: *very slowly and deliberately* “Would you like someone to help carry your bags to your car?”

    Customer: “Oh, no, dear. I don’t need that.”

    Me: “Are you sure? It would be no trouble at all.”

    Customer: “I’m sure!”

    (I shrug and ring up her order. I bag her groceries, she pays, and I hand her a receipt.)

    Me: “Thanks a lot. Have a great day!”

    Customer: *stares at her bags of groceries* “Well, how am I supposed to carry all of this by myself?!”

    Knocking The Wind Out Of Your Sails

    | Boston, MA, USA | Bizarre, History

    (I work in a museum that focuses on the history of a particular ship. One day, a visitor approaches me and asks me this question:)

    Visitor: “Excuse me, I have a question.”

    Me: “Sure!”

    Visitor: “When was the last time [Ship] had all of her sails out?”

    Me: “The last time she sailed under her own power was in August 2012 on the 200th anniversary of her victory with—”

    Visitor: “Yeah, but were ALL of her sails out?”

    Me: “Well, no, only a few of the main ones necessary for—”

    Visitor: “But I want to know when she had ALL her sails out like in this painting.” *gestures to nautical painting*

    Me: “Ah! I see. Actually, artists painted ships with full sails to heighten the drama of the painting. There would be very few occasions when a ship would literally have all of her sails out at once because different sails are used in different situations and angles of wind and—”

    Visitor: “Yeah, but WHEN was the LAST TIME she had ALL of her sails out?”

    Me: *pause* “I guess I don’t know exactly.”

    Visitor: *to his family* “Oh, she doesn’t know.”

    Blood Type Z-Negative

    | Orange County, CA, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    (We carry liquid candy blood packs at our novelty shop. One looks like a regular blood IV bag and the other is green and is called ‘zombie blood.’ A customer comes up to the counter with a worried look and points to the zombie blood.)

    Customer: “Is this REAL?”

    Flyer Doesn’t Fly With You

    | ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

    Customer: “Is this the item that’s on for $69?”

    Coworker: “Yes, that’s the one in the flyer for $69″

    Customer: “Okay, I’ll get it but I want to get other things too.”

    (Later the customer brings the item to my checkout.)

    Customer: “Is that the one on sale?”

    Me: “Yes, for $69.”

    Customer: “That’s the sale price?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Are you sure?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “That girl over there told me it was in the flyer.”

    Me: “It is. For $69.”

    Customer: “Can you check the flyer?”

    (I humor her and check, but it takes me a little bit to find it in the flyer. Before I find it, the coworker from before walks by.)

    Customer: “Oh, that’s her! How much is this item?”

    Coworker: “$69.”

    Customer: “Great, thanks!”


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