Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

I’m Not La La Laughing

| San Antonio, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

(I’m listening in on a call my husband/coworker is taking.)

Husband: “Ma’am, I apologize, your assumption was not correct. The service is not transferable and must be used by the end of next month. This information is stated on our website and on the receipt we sent you at the time of purchase.”

Caller: “La la la la la la la la!”

Husband: “Ma’am, I can continue to assist you but we need to have this conversation like grown-ups. If you insist on acting like a child, I will have to put you in time out by hanging up”

Caller: “Well, f*** you!” *click*

Me: “Aren’t you glad you married me instead of someone like that?”

Husband: “If you acted like that, we wouldn’t have even started dating.”

I Scream For A Crouton

| Cambridge, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I work in a coffee shop inside a bookshop. It is always very quiet in there and we are rarely very busy but the shop is popular with mothers and young children. There are two parents with their two young daughters. The girls are chatting amongst themselves but not being especially obtrusive. Two older ladies approach me at the counter.)

Old Lady #1: “Two mushroom soups, please,”

(I begin dishing up and the second old lady goes to get spoons from the stand which is about six feet away from the counter.)

Old Lady #1: “Those little ones are being awfully loud aren’t they? We came here for a bit of peace and quiet.”

Me: “I am sorry, Madam, but they’re only wee, and they don’t seem to be bothering anyone else. Now, would you like croutons with your soup?”

Old Lady #1: “Well, I certainly would and er… Hang on a tick dear—” *at the top of her voice* “MARTHA! MARTHA!”

(Old Lady #2 doesn’t react.)

Old Lady #1: *even louder* “MARTHA!”

Old Lady #2: *turns around* “WHAT?!”

Old Lady #1: “DO YOU WANT CROUTONS?!”

Old Lady #2: “WHAT?”

Old Lady #1: “CROUTONS, MARTHA!”

A Sickening Request

| Memphis, TN, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(I work as a cashier in a gourmet grocery store known for its healthier food options. The store provides coffee samples with napkins and stirrers, and a lot of customers end up asking us to throw their unused napkins away. A customer approaches me with a full basket.)

Customer: “Geez, it’s terrible how sick everyone’s getting. Is anyone out sick here?”

Me: “Yeah, we’re pretty short handed here today.”

Customer: “Well, you know with a job like this you have to be extra careful! So many people touching things and breathing the same air! It’s so easy for gals like you to get sick.” *she produces a napkin from her hand. It’s balled up* “By the way, could you throw this away for me?”

(I cringe but can’t refuse, and after a moment I finish ringing her up.)

Me: “That’ll be [price].”

Customer: “Thanks for being so quick, hon. I gotta get home soon. I’m not feeling great and think I got a cold!”

Not-So-Smart TV

| TN, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(I work for a popular electronics store. A customer comes in looking for a [Brand #1] TV. Another associate brings up the TV to customer service for me to ring out. She decides to sign up for our store credit-card to get a discount.)

Me: “I’ll just need you to enter you social on the pin pad.”

Customer: “Okay.” *enters social*

Me: “All right, now it’s going to ask for your yearly income.”

Customer: “Oh, no, I’m not doing that. That’s confidential. I don’t want to do this.”

(Internally I was wondering how her income was confidential, but her social was not. I backed out and proceeded to ring her up. The transaction was finished.)

Customer: “Now, [Brand #1] IS made in Japan, right?”

Me: “Either Japan or China. I’m not positive. But I can find out.”

Customer: “Yeah, find out. I don’t want it if it’s made in China. I need to see on the box that it says made in Japan.”

Coworker: “It says right here: made in China.”

Customer: “I don’t want it.”

Me: “Okay, I can undo the transaction. That’s fine.”

Customer: “Find me one that’s made in America.”

Me: “I doubt that anything we have will be made in America, but I’ll go look.”

(Customer follows me to our home theater department. We find a [Brand #2] that says ‘made in California, U.S., assembled in Mexico.’)

Customer: “I’ll take this one. I guess it’s okay that it’s assembled in Mexico. I mean Mexico is part of the United States. Like New Mexico.”

Me: “Um… Well, actually… Yeah… Anyway, are you sure you want this one? It’s a smart TV, and you told me you don’t have Internet.”

Customer: “Yes, I want this one.”

(I take the TV back to customer service.)

Customer: “So just void that old transaction. I don’t want an exchange. I need it voided for my banking, and you may not be here.”

(No idea what that even means, but I void the transaction and ring up the new TV. My manager overhears her talking about not wanting anything made in China. He proceeds to jump in and tell her that all our TV’s have Chinese parts in them.)

Customer: “Are you serious? Well… the [Brand #2] will still be better right? Since it’s assembled in Mexico, and that’s in the United States.”

Manager: “Uh… well… no.  [Brand #1] is traditionally better.”

Customer: “Well, maybe I’ll get the [Brand #1].”

(My manager, not understanding what he was getting himself into, proceeds to try and sell her on a warranty by explaining that there’s a chip powering these TVs and lightning can destroy them easily, and our plan covers that.)

Customer: “Oh… wow… So what you’re saying is none of these TVs are any good?”

Manager: “No, no, I’m saying any of them can be destroyed. Our plan will cover it as long as it’s not physically damaged.”

Customer: “Oh, lord, no. That wouldn’t happen. I’m single.”

(My manager finally wises up and walks away. I ring up the extra warranty.)

Me: “Okay, now, your phone number again. It was—”

Customer: “Shh! Don’t say it out loud!”

Me: “I’m sorry.”

Customer: “People are everywhere listening to get your information. I’ll write it down.”

(The customer finally leaves with the [Brand #1] she initially bought. Later that night she calls back.)

Customer: “I’m trying to register my TV, but it wants an email address. I don’t have one. I wanted to see if I could use yours…”

Drive Through Democracy

, | TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Politics

(A customer pulls up to my window, and he looks extremely similar to Bill Clinton.)

Me: “Has anyone ever told you that you look like Bill Clinton?”

Customer: “I did NOT have sexual relations with that woman!”

(The customer then proceeded, in full Clinton style, to light up a joint at my drive-through window.)

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