October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Trying To Make A Clean Getaway

| Wales, UK | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

(I am cleaning a laboratory; I have wet floor signs out and a sign saying “Cleaning in progress.” Cleaning takes place when no one is normally around. I have mop in my hand and a bucket beside me.)

Biologist: “Are you cleaning the floor?”

Me: “Yes, I have a certain time slot to do it and normally no one around.”

Biologist: “Well I haven’t seen any warning signs!”

(I point to several and cleaning sign.)

Biologist: “Have you mopped the floor over there?”

Me: “Yes I have; a couple of minutes ago.”

Biologist: “Is the floor where you just mopped going to be wet?”

Me: “…Yup.”

(Glad all those years in university weren’t wasted!)

Teenagers: Now Blamed For The Weather

| WV, USA | Bizarre

(We have recently had some heavy snowfall; so heavy, in fact, that only four hours after having the parking lot plowed, it’s completely covered and difficult to get in and out of.)

Guest #1: “Why haven’t you shoveled your lot?”

Me: “We actually don’t have a shovel, sir. We contract a company to plow the lot and we put down salt to prevent ice from forming, but unfortunately the snow is just falling too fast for that.”

Guest #2: “Teenagers these days just don’t care about other people’s safety.”

(It’s the law that you have to be at least twenty-one to work in one of these lounges. I’m twenty-three.)

Me: “Yes, sir, that’s it exactly.”

Very Slow Burn

| Victoria, BC, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(I am working in a large grocery store on a busy Saturday. Each till has at least eight people in line, and I can’t even see the end of the queue. I am scanning items as quickly as I possibly can and have not made any mistakes. My next customer is a lady with two overflowing carts of groceries, so I greet her and start scanning her items at my usual pace.)

Customer: “SLOW DOWN!”

Me: *startled* “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “SLOW DOWN! I don’t like it when you scan my items so quickly.”

(I double check her bill but see no mistakes.)

Customer: “And I like to watch you scan every item so don’t touch another thing until I’m done unloading!”

(The line up is still quite long behind her, and she has barely unloaded any items onto the belt. No amount of reasoning will convince her to let me start scanning her items until she has unloaded each product, one by one.)

Me: *resumes scanning*

Customer: “I said not so fast! Do I have to report you to your manager?”

(In the end I had to scan her items at a snail’s pace, several people change queues, and when she finally pays and leaves she’s still muttering about reporting me to my manager.)

Next Customer: “Please scan my items as quickly as you’d like. I don’t mind!”

The Birth Of Assumption

| East Falmouth, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bizarre

(A guy comes in, buys his stuff by credit card, as I hand him his bags and receipt:)

Me: “Have a nice day!”

Customer: “What? The h*** did you know?”

Me: “Sir?”

Customer: “The f*** did you know it was my birthday? You see my ID in my wallet or something?”

Me: “Uh… sir? All I said was have a nice day.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “…”

Customer: “Not ‘Happy Birthday?'”

Me: *trying VERY hard not to smirk* “…No.”

Customer: “Well, this day’s off to a good start…”

Me: *smiling sympathetically* “Have a nice day, sir. And Happy Birthday.”

Wish You Could Hide From The Hyde

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

(I work at a popular family restaurant that has a fairly diverse clientèle. Two older ladies come in just as I start my shift. It happens to be a statutory holiday that the government created last year. As such it’s a day off for most people, but not a real holiday.)

Customer #1: “Good morning! Happy [Holiday]! ”

Me: “Happy [Holiday]. How are you today?”

Customer #1: “Everyone has just been so nice today. That young man-” *referring to our greeter* “-held the door open for us!”

Customer #2: *extremely aggressively*“As well he should!”

Me: *taken aback, I try to change the subject* “Can I get you something to drink to start you off?”

Customer #1: *beams at me* “I hope they’re paying you bonuses to come in on a holiday!”

Customer #2: *interrupts in a savage tone of voice* “What would it matter? They’re here all the time anyway!”

Customer #1: *gives a big smile to her companion then to me* “We’ll just have coffees for now.”

(I escaped gratefully and happened to catch the coworker I was relieving as she packed up.)

Me: “That table is like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde!”

Coworker: “Oh, they’re always like that. I was so glad when you came in that I wouldn’t have to deal with them this time. Good luck!”

Page 2/19312345...Last