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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Trying To Clean Up His Act

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal

    Coworker: “We had another shoplifter yesterday. Another one of our regular customers that we always look after.”

    Me: “Really? Who?”

    Coworker: “This guy who brings a bike in.”

    Me: “Oh, I saw him as I was leaving yesterday. Had a funny feeling about him.”

    Coworker: “Yes. He shopped for about half an hour while I stayed at the counter and kept an eye on his bike. He then came up to ask if we had soap making kits. I told him no but when he bent down to pick up the bag he left by his bike I saw a package with a pair of scissors in it, stuffed down his pants.”

    Me: “Down his pants?”

    Coworker: “Yes, the back of his pants. I told him he needed to pay for them so he pulled them out and threw them on the counter. But when he turned I noticed another item down his pants so I asked for that as well and he pulled that out. Then I noticed he had something in his pocket so I asked him what that was. He claimed it was something of his. I told him to show me and he pulled out more of our stock and threw it on the counter.”

    Me: “I knew I had a strange feeling about him.”

    Coworker: “Yes, and I was doing him a favour by watching his bike. I have no idea what else he bought. I watched him leave and saw him go in the fishing shop, so I raced up to warn them. They warned other shops as well. Each made sure he was followed in the store.”

    Me: “Hopefully he won’t come back.”

    Coworker: “Me, too, but the weirdest part was not long after there was a phone call. It was his voice asking if we had soap making kits.”

    A Little Bird Told Her Wrong

    | FL, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

    (I work at a horse supply/tack store. We don’t sell any sort of animal.)

    Me: “Hello. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Hi. Do you sell pigeons?”

    Me: “What’s a pigeon?”

    Customer: “You don’t know what a pigeon is?”

    Me: “Well, like the bird, pigeon?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “No, we don’t sell birds.”

    Customer: “What type of store is this that you don’t sell birds?”

    Me: “Uhm, a horse supply store.”

    Customer: “Oh, the yellow pages didn’t say anything about that!”

    Tipping The Scales Of Sobriety

    | OK, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money, Pets & Animals

    (I am ringing up a couple customers. The first is visibly drunk, but has been pleasant throughout the transaction.)

    Me: “That will be [total], sir.”

    Customer: “What’s that mean?”

    (He is pointing at our tip jar, which has a sign reading ‘Tipping: Bad for Cows, Good for Staff.’)

    Me: “You mean cow tipping?”

    (He stares at me, clearly very confused.)

    Me: “It’s a stereotypical redneck activity where you go out into a field and push a cow over while she’s sleeping.”

    Customer: “You… what? Why do you push the cows?”

    Me: “… because it’s funny?”

    (I spend another five minutes trying to explain the concept. He really tries to wrap his head around it but he’s just too inebriated to manage it. Finally, he gives up and walks off with his food. The second customer, who has witnessed all of this, steps up to the register. He’s laughing and gesturing to his flannel shirt and jeans.)

    Customer #2: “Don’t worry, honey. I’m a farm boy and I know what cow tipping is.”

    Me: “Oh, thank goodness.”

    A Sad State Of The Union

    | FL, USA | Bizarre, Money

    (I work in a very well known college’s credit union. I am working the front desk with one of my coworkers when a younger looking man walks in.)

    Me: “Hello, how may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I was wondering what this place is?”

    Me: *confused* “This is the [College] credit union.”

    Customer: “Oh, that explains why everyone coming out of here looks so depressed.”

    (The customer left without another word leaving me and my coworker laughing and wondering what just happened.)

    Going On A Duck Tale

    | USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

    (My office phone rings and I answer it. The voice on the other line sounds like it belongs to an elderly gentleman who may be hard of hearing.)

    Me: “Hello, [Prison]. This is [My Name].”

    Caller: “Hi. Yes, this is [Caller] from [Small, Rural Town] and I need a duck license.”

    Me: “I am sorry, sir?”

    Caller: “I need a duck license. I know I can get one on the Internet, but the Internet is not good out here in [Small, Rural Town].”

    Me: “Sir, I think you got the wrong number.”

    Caller: “We have so many ducks out here. I need a duck license. I know I can get them on the Internet, but I can’t use the Internet so I need you to help me with a duck license.”

    Me: “Sir, you have called the wrong number. This is the penitentiary.”

    Caller: “You see there are so many ducks around here. So I need your help with a license…”

    Me: “Sir, you have the wrong number.”

    Caller: “… and I need it because there are so many ducks and I need a license to shoot them…”

    Me: “Sir? I think you wanted fish and game.”

    Caller: “… but I can’t get on the Internet, so I need you to give me a license.”

    Me: “Sir, you have the wrong number. This is the penitentiary.”

    Caller: “The what? Who did I call?”

    Me: “You called the prison, sir.”

    Caller: “Oh, you can’t help me at all then…”

    Me: “Let me get you the number to fish and game.”

    (He was very nice and appreciative, and his wrong number made my day!)

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