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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Has Led A Sugar-Coated Existence

    | Australia | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink

    (For sanitary reasons, we do not add sugar to our customer’s coffee. There are sugar packets and spoons in front of the register for the customers to use.)

    Me: “Here’s your regular latte, sir. Have a good day!”

    Customer: “…are there two sugars in this?”

    Me: “No sir, but there are sugar packets just in front for you.”

    Customer: *looking very confused* “But how is the sugar going to get in my coffee?”

    Me: “You can just put it in…” *customer is still frowning at me like he doesn’t understand*

    Me: “Never mind. I’ll help you with that.”

    (I take two sugar packets from right in front of this man, tear them open and pour in the sugar. Then I stir it in and slide it back across the counter to him.)

    Me: “Just like that, sir. Have a good day!”

    Customer: “Ugh, bye.” *storms off muttering something under his breath*

    (Meanwhile, my coworker and I stood there wondering how this man had gotten through 40-something years of his life without stirring in sugar!)

    When You Know You’ve Worked Too Many Doubles

    , | Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m working the drive-thru late at night when a man pulls up to the window wearing a latex horse mask; his friend in the passenger’s seat is wearing a Guy Fawkes mask.)

    Driver: “Evening. I’d like some cheese, please.”

    (I stand there for a few seconds, wondering if I’m dreaming.)

    Me: “…you mean a cheeseburger?”

    Driver: “No, just a slice of cheese, thanks.”

    (Without breaking my line of sight with the driver, I grab a single slice of cheese and give it to him.)

    Driver: “Thank you. Would you like a turtle?”

    (The passenger reaches into the back seat and pulls from it a large snapping turtle.)

    Me: “No thank you, sir.”

    Driver: “You sure? His name’s Waylon.”

    Me: “I’m sure, sir.”

    Driver: “Well, have a nice night.”

    (I have yet to tell any of my co-workers about this in fear of them laughing and saying I made it up.)

    Sanity Unplugged

    | Detroit, MI, USA | Bizarre, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer in what sounds to be her forties calls in for having trouble with her TV.)

    Me: “So, let’s start by doing a reboot. Can you please unplug the furthest cord on the left for 10 seconds then plug it back in?”

    Customer: “Okay, I don’t know why I HAVE to do this; you should come over and do this.”

    Me: *jokingly* “Ha ha. Well, I would but you live in Texas and I am in Michigan.”

    Customer: “So? I am the customer; you should do what I say!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it would take me a week to get to you. Now, can I just get you to plug the cord back in to see if we can get it working?”

    Customer: “Where do I plug it in?”

    Me: *dumbfounded* “Where it was unplugged from: the far left slot. You can’t miss it.”

    Customer: “Okay, but where is that?”

    Me: *at this point I’m not in the mood for this level of dumb* “Oh, well, it looks like your line is damaged and will need a technician. This is why your TV wasn’t working. How about if I get a technician out there?”

    Customer: “Must have been my dead husband. He’s been haunting me for years.”

    Me: “So… 8-12 tomorrow morning?”

    Customer: “That would be great. Thanks dear, and don’t forget, masturbation is a sin!”

    (I got an extra break after that call because I couldn’t stop laughing.)

    The New Dairy Queen

    | Pontotoc, MS, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Food & Drink

    (When I was 15 years old, a family friend had started an ice cream truck business. He needed someone to drive and someone to hand out ice cream and handle the money: two people per truck, and there were five trucks. Naturally, hunting for money, I volunteer to work the money and ice cream part. It is towards the end of the summer, and I know the ropes by then. Parents often stand on the sidewalk and give the children the money, letting them order. My customer is about five years of age.)

    Me: “What can I get for you, sir?”

    Customer: *giggling* “I want ice cream.”

    Me: “What kind of ice cream?”

    Customer: “I can’t tell you that!”

    Me: “Then how will you get your ice cream? I am the ice cream queen! I control all of the ice cream in this mighty vessel.”

    Customer: “I need to talk to the Ice Cream MAN to get my ice cream, not the Ice cream QUEEN! I need a BOY! I need a BOY!”

    (As this was not what I had prepared for, I quickly nodded, and ducked below the counter, and got a marker, drew a mustache, and sat up and spoke in a low voice.)

    Me: “Her Majesty is a new worker. What can I get for you?”

    Customer: *looking relieved* “Ice cream man! I want….that one!” *points to ice cream on the board*

    (And all was well… besides the mustache I had for the next week. Thank you PERMANENT marker, you did your job. Parents, everywhere, tell your children of the Ice Cream Queen. Save a teenage girl’s face from fake facial hair!)

    Utah Got The Wrong Place

    | Canada | Bizarre, Geography, Musical Mayhem

    (I am working at the box office when the phone rings.)

    Me: “Hello, thank you for calling [Business]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “I’m looking for the Utah Symphony.”

    Me: “Sorry?”

    Caller: “The Utah Symphony.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I think you have the wrong number. I’m in Canada.”

    Caller: “Are you sure?”

    Me: “Yes, I’m sure I’m in Canada.”

    Caller: “Is this [Address] in [City], Utah?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, I’m on [Street] in [City], Canada.”

    Caller: “But where can I find the Utah Symphony?”

    Me: “…try Utah?”

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