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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Higher Than A Helicopter

    | Massachusetts, USA | Bizarre

    Customer: “I need to make a copy of this key because the police need to use this one in an investigation.”

    Me: “Ma’am, this key is broken clean in half. I don’t think I can copy this.”

    Customer: “Well you see, the police are investigating into the helicopters and I need another key.”

    Me: “The helicopters?”

    Customer: “Yes, yes. They break into my car.” *picking up a flashlight from the checkout counter* “Oh! I wonder if this flashlight is helicopter proof.”

    Me: “Uh…I don’t know to be honest.”

    Customer: “Well. The helicopters always make things stop working suddenly.”

    (She clicks the flashlight on and off until suddenly it no longer turns on.)

    Customer: “Ah, there. Not helicopter proof. They’re in my veins, you know.”

    Not The Brightest Bulb In The Box

    | South Carolina, USA | Bizarre, Home Improvement

    Customer: “I would like to return this flashlight.”

    Me: “What’s wrong with it?”

    Customer: “It’s too hard to take apart.”

    Me: “Why did you take it apart?”

    Customer: “I wanted to know if it was easy to take apart.”

    No Holding Back

    | Webster, NY, USA | Bizarre, Musical Mayhem, Technology

    Me: “Thank you for calling [company] support, can I have your employee ID number, please?”

    Caller: “Yeah, can you put me on hold?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Caller: “I called before and complained about the awful hold music you guys use. I want to see if you changed it.”

    Me: “Hold on just a minute.”

    (I put the caller on hold for a minute.)

    Me: “Hello, are you still there ma’am?”

    Caller: “Yeah, I’m here.”

    Me: “So is the hold music any less awful?”

    Caller: “No, not really. Thanks.” *click*

    A Few Knights Short Of A Round Table

    | Germany | Bizarre

    (I am a dressmaker who specializes in historical clothing. I have made several dresses to illustrate the evolution of fashion over the centuries. These dresses hang in the back of our stall, each labeled with the proper century.)

    Customer: *rushes up an points to the 15th-century dress* “Oh, that’s my dress there!”

    Me: “Yes, it’s beautiful, isn’t it? Would you like to try it?”

    Customer: “I’d like to buy it. It’s exactly my dress.”

    Me: “Your dress?”

    Customer: “Yes. I had past-life regression last week. And I wore this dress while I was waltzing with King Arthur 500 years ago!”

    His Groceries Have Just Been Terminated

    | Peterborough, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (I am ringing up a customer at my register; she had just told me she forgot her rewards card at home.)

    Me: “Do you have a reward card? Oh, shoot. Sorry! It’s just a habit to ask for it.”

    Customer: “Haha, don’t worry about it, I understand.”

    (There is an elderly man in line behind her.)

    Elderly Man: “They’ve programmed you!”

    Me: “Haha, yeah I guess they have.”

    Elderly Man: *shouting alarmingly* “They’ve programmed you! You’re some sort of robot aren’t you?”

    Me: *jokingly* “Yep, I’m a robot!”

    Elderly Man: *totally serious* “I knew it! You filthy robot! You’re going to kill me, aren’t you? This is some kind of government conspiracy! They sent you here to kill me! Well I won’t let you!”

    (He runs out of the store.)

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