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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Can’t Get Her Out Of My Head

    | London, England, UK | Bizarre

    (It’s early in the morning and I’m half asleep. I’ve just stood up and turned around after stacking a shelf when I see a young guy rushing towards me.)

    Customer: *grabs me in a tight hug and whispers in my ear* “I’m Hulk Hogan and you’re Kylie Minogue. Who am I?”

    Customer’s brother: *out of breath after running behind him* “What have I told you about hugging people!”

    Me: “Right, then.”

    (I laugh and walk into the stockroom where one of my colleagues is working.)

    Me: “The weirdest thing just happened–”

    Coworker: “Oh, are you Kylie too?”

    You’re A Fine One To Talk

    | New Zealand | Bizarre

    (A customer comes in to pay for her gas.)

    Me: “Hello! Is it just the fuel today?”

    Customer: “Just tell me where to swipe my EFTPOS card.”

    Me: *points* “Just there, ma’am.”

    Customer: *swipes card and enters PIN number*

    Me: “Uh…that’s the wrong pin number. Sorry, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Well, maybe if you weren’t yabbering away like an air-headed lunatic I could have concentrated and got it right!”

    Me: “I’m sorry! If you wouldn’t mind just re-entering your pin, please?”

    (Suddenly, the customer turns around to the other customers behind her and throws her hands in the air.)

    Customer: “And she’s still talking! GAWD, woman!”

    Someone Needs To Tone It Down

    | USA | Bizarre

    (I am a student teacher at a high school. A man I have dubbed “Lord of the Copy Room” is a pretty grumpy guy who has specific ways that “his” copy machines should be used. Unbeknownst to me, this particular machine is only for jobs up to 30 copies.)

    Me: *makes 35 copies*

    Him: “Excuse me! How many copies did you just make?!”

    Me: “Uh, um, a class set, so 35 copies.”

    Him: *taps the machine* “That copier is for 30 copies and below! Don’t you know that?!”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry. I’ll use the other one.”

    Him: “It’s all right. I can tell you’re new. Just remember! Copies make the world go round! Don’t you love the smell of toner?!” *scampers off*

    Seedless, We Promise

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (My friend and I are cleaning up at the end of the night at a frozen yogurt shop downtown. Suddenly, a guy walks in.)

    Guy: “You need to buy me a piece of pizza cause I ain’t eaten all day!”

    Me: “The pizza shop in the mall is closed. I can give you a sample of yogurt.”

    (I pour him a sample of acai blueberry yogurt.)

    Guy: “What the h*** is that?”

    Me: “Yogurt.”

    Guy: “Nuh uh, that’s sperm.”

    Me: “This is yogurt.”

    Guy: “Stop trying to give me sperm! I do scientific research and that is HORSE SPERM!” *runs away*

    More Daylight, Less Twilight, Part 6

    | Scotland, UK | Bizarre, Top

    (I’m helping a customer in her early teens.)

    Customer: “Hey, I’m trying to find a game for my boyfriend. Could you help me?”

    Me: “Yeah, sure. What sort of—”

    Customer: “Oh, the guy on this is hot! What’s this like?”

    Me: “Oh, that’s the new Castlevania game. Basically, it’s about killing vampires and werewolves.”

    Customer: “What!?! Why would anyone buy this?! Vampires and werewolves are cool and hot! You make me sick selling this! Haven’t you ever seen Twilight!? Vampires are like people!” *runs out of the shop with tears in her eyes*

    Me: “I feel so sorry for her boyfriend.”

    Related:
    Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 5
    Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 4
    Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 3
    Less Twilight, More Daylight, Part 2
    Less Twilight, More Daylight

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