• Holy Guacamole, Get Off The Phone!
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  • May Theme Of The Month: Movie Mayhem!

    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    When You’ve Been Shawshanked

    | BC, Canada | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    (I work at a table that is set up at a farmer’s market every Sunday where I sell different deli meats. I also cater events and I am speaking to a couple in their 30s about possibly catering an engagement party. I am a caucasian female in my 20s.)

    Me: “So, I can give you my business card if you’d like to discuss the options for your engagement party.”

    Woman: “Sure, thanks!”

    Man: “You’ve been so helpful!” *looks at name on business card* “Morgan Freeman? Are you seriously Morgan Freeman?”

    Me: “Well, yes. That’s my name.”

    Woman: “Are you the actor?”

    Me: *laughing* “Haha, only on weekdays!”

    Man: “No she’s not. What a liar! This is bulls***. You’re not Morgan Freeman!”

    Woman: “Honey, it says right there on the card. So, are you the one that does all the narration? Like for the penguin movies?”

    Man: “She’s a liar. We’re leaving.”

    Me: “No. I’m not the African American male actor. But anyway, my email and phone number are on there for my catering business.”

    Man: “Sorry, we don’t deal with liars.”

    (He hauls his fiancée away.)

    Woman: *turns around and literally yells* “DO YOU KNOW OPRAH?!”

    Wait Until You Hear The Sticking Point

    | USA | Bizarre

    (A male customer walks in with a large stick.)

    Customer: “Hi, do you guys sell baby shoes?”

    Me: “Yes we do, sir. They are right over there.” *points to the shoes*

    Customer: “Okay, thanks.”

    (He walks over and proceeds to go through them. A few minutes later, he brings to the counter some baby shoes.)

    Me: “These are very cute shoes. You have nice taste.”

    Customer: “Thank you.”

    (He then takes the shoes and puts them on the end of his stick.)

    Customer: “The bottoms getting a little worse for wear and I would hate to get rid of this nice stick. Shoes should do the trick!” *smiles and walks out*

    Taking The Hi Road

    | TX, USA | Bizarre, Language & Words

    (It’s been an unusually busy day, and my coworkers and I have been taking calls back to back for several hours.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [name of business]. This is [my name]; how can I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi, [my name]!”

    (I wait a few seconds for her to tell me what she needs, but she remains silent.)

    Me: “Yes, how can I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi, [my name]!”

    Me: “Ma’am, is there something I can help you with?”

    Caller: “Hi, [my name]!”

    (I’m starting to think this is a prank call or the person is not all there.)

    Me: “Well, if there’s nothing I can help you with, I’m going to have to—”

    Caller: “It must take a lot of effort if you won’t even say ‘Hi’.”

    Me: “…Hello?”

    Caller: “Hi, [my name]!”

    Me: “Hi.”

    Caller: “It took way too much work for you to just say ‘Hi’ to me. I don’t want you to help me! Transfer me to someone else!”

    (She had probably waited at least 10 minutes before reaching me, and would have to wait at least 10 more minutes to speak to someone else. She was fine with that!)

    So-da Pressing

    , | WI, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (A customer asks for the manager, and seems clearly upset.)

    Manager: “Is there something I can help you with?”

    Customer: “Yes! Why are you using [soda brand] products? You know they have fetuses in them! How dare you use their product?”

    Manager: “Ma’am, I can assure you there are no—”

    Customer: “YES THERE ARE! I want to know why you’re using their product when they have fetuses in them!”

    Manager: “Let me get the head manager.”

    (She comes back with the head manager.)

    Head manager: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we can’t decide what kind of soda products we use. That is up to corporate to decide. It’s not our personal decision to choose a specific type of soda.”

    Customer: “But they have fetuses in them!”

    Head manager: “Well, if you would like to complain, I would go ahead and contact corporate about the soda. I’m sorry, but I can’t do more for you.”

    Customer: “Well, I can’t believe you would use [soda brand]! They have fetuses in them!”

    (I’ve dealt with some unique people at that place, but she takes the cake!)

    A Real Life Cookie Monster

    | New Zealand | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Spouses & Partners

    (A middle aged couple comes to my checkout.)

    Me: “Hello, how are you?”

    Wife: “Fine, thank you.”

    Husband: *grumbles*

    (I proceed to pack their shopping, when suddenly the male customer starts looking angry.)

    Husband: “I think you hate your job! I think you want to quit!”

    Me: “Um, no… I quite enjoy it.”

    Husband: “Well, you will get fired! You don’t show a proper respect!”

    Wife: “Henry, calm down.”

    Me: “I don’t know how I offended you, sir.”

    Husband: “No, not to me! Show proper respect to those biscuits!”

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