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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Too Lazy To Lather

    | Toronto, Canada | Bizarre

    Customer: “I need help finding a soap with vanilla in it.”

    (I help her and show her a few products. She picks up a bar of soap.)

    Customer: “How do you use this one?”

    Me: “Oh, it’s just like a normal bar of soap.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “You know, like a normal soap bar? Um, like Dove or Irish Spring?”

    Customer: *blank stare*

    Me: “You take it into the shower with you, wet it, rub it all over, and rinse it off.”

    Customer: “Oh. That sounds like too much work.” *puts soap down and walks away*

    It’s Going To Be One Of Those Days, Part 2

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Bizarre

    Me: “Thank you, ma’am. Have a great day!”

    Customer: “You too! Oh, not you too. You have to work!”

    Related:
    It’s Going To Be One Of Those Days

    Don’t Make A Rash Purchase

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    Customer: “I need a matte eye-shadow because I’m allergic to shiny.”
     
    Me: “Do you know what ingredient you’re allergic to in shiny eyeshadow?”
     
    Customer: “Shiny! You know, shiny! I’m very sensitive!”
     
    Me: “Well, our matte eye-shadows are here.”
     
    (I pull aside the testers for the few matte products we have.)
     
    Customer: “Can I try this one?”
     
    Me: “Sure!”
     
    (I go to get a disposable brush. When I turn around, the customer has her eyes closed and is holding the tester millimeters from her eye. She opens her eyes to see me staring at her holding out a brush.)
     
    Customer: “I’m not allergic. I can tell using muscle testing. I’m very sensitive! This is a good one! What other colors do you have?”
     
    (She spent the next 20 minutes holding various products ‘testing them’ and announcing everything she was allergic to.)

    The Customer Is Always Righteous

    | Boston, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Religion

    (A regular customer comes into our store. She’s known to be very difficult to please.)

    Customer: “Good evening.”

    Me: *cheerily, while ringing her items up* “Good evening, ma’am! That’s $5.31, please.”

    (She puts a credit card down in front of me, which I ring through the register.)

    Me: “If you could please sign right there…”

    (I point, and she does. I bag her items and hand her the bag, her credit card, and her receipt. She takes them slowly and I think I’ve done a good job, but apparently not.)

    Customer: “You dishonor me! You dishonor me and you will burn for it!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am.”

    Customer: “God honors me! You don’t, and you will burn! I don’t know, I’m not God. But that’s what he’s saying. You dishonor me and you will burn!” *walks away*

    Me: *totally speechless*

    Batty Is In The Eye Of The Beholder

    | Toledo, OH, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (I’m a customer at a grocery store. We’re in a snow storm and people have gone mad in preparation, buying most of the bread, eggs, and milk.)

    Customer: *inches from the cashier’s face* “MILK AND BREAD! MILK AND BREAD!”

    Cashier: *stunned*

    Customer: “I bet all the customers were like that today, huh? All those crazy people buying up all that stuff! But not me, I’m not crazy!” *walks away*

    Cashier: *nervously laughs while looking at me wide-eyed*

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