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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Don’t Take Customers At Face Value

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    Me: “Hi, how are you?”

    Customer: “You look like a serial killer!”

    Me: “Um… I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Yeah, you look exactly like you’ve killed a someone, then locked them in your basement. But maybe that’s just the kind of person you look like. I don’t know, I’m not here to judge.”

    Anatomically Correct Vs Politically Incorrect

    | Washington, USA | Bizarre

    (I’m in the restroom while on duty in uniform. I walk in the door.)

    Customer: *startled* "Oh!"

    Me: "Sorry, excuse me."

    Customer: "You people use the bathroom too?"

    Me: "Yes, we only have the one, so everyone uses the same one.”

    Customer: "I guess I never thought of you as real people.”

    Personal Caller

    | Maryland, USA | Bizarre, Technology

    Me: “Thank you for calling customer service. My name is [name]. How can I help you today?”

    Elderly Customer: “Are you a person? A real live person?”

    Me: “Yes ma’am, I certainly am.”

    Elderly Customer: “I got a person! I GOT A PERSON! Oh my goodness, I got a real person!”

    There Is No Spoon

    | Farmington, NM, USA | Bizarre

    (I’m opening the store for the day, and an elderly gentleman comes over to me.)

    Me: “Hello!”

    Customer: “Hello!” *looks around for a moment* “Do you have your spoon?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Your spoon.” *produces a metal spoon from his pocket* “Do you have your spoon?”

    Me: “I’m afraid I must have forgotten it.”

    Customer: “Well, what will you do if you find some ice cream?”

    Me: “I suppose I’ll have to use an ice cream cone instead.”

    (Seemingly satisfied and nodding, the man continues on his way.)

    Questionable Questions

    | Santa Clara, CA, USACalifornia | Bizarre

    Customer: “Excuse me, can you tell me what time the mall closes today?”

    Me: “Yeah, seven o’clock, so about five minutes ago.”

    Customer: “Okay. And do you know about how long it takes for everyone to evacuate the mall?”

    Me: “I–what? Why?”

    Customer: “Oh, no reason.”


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