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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Flattery Is Fully Charged

    | Wilmington, DE, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    Me: “Hello! I’m [name] and I’ll be your server today. Are you ready to order?”

    Customer: “No! You can’t serve me! You’re prettier than I am! You’re damaging my self-esteem!”

    Me: *pause* “Well, you can request another server, if you like?”

    Customer: “Yes! Get me another server. Someone less pretty!”

    (Another waitress comes out. She’s perfectly good-looking, but visibly older than the customer whereas I’m younger, so we figured that would be okay.)

    Waitress: “May I take your order, ma’am?”

    Customer: “No no no! I asked for someone who isn’t pretty! Doesn’t this place employ ugly people?!”

    (In the end, after deciding that even the male servers were far too good-looking, she left us feeling flattered, but very confused.)

    The Ministry Of Silly Walks

    | Pittsburg, CA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Top

    Customer: “Excuse me, do you know where the underwear are stocked?”

    (I am a fellow customer. I have no name badge, no uniform, and I have my purse hanging from my shoulder.)

    Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I don’t work here.”

    Customer: “Oh, I thought you did. You walk like an employee.”

    Me: “I walk…like an employee?”

    Customer: “Yes, you should walk differently so people don’t confuse you.”

    Me: “Like this?”

    (I walk briskly for a few steps.)

    Customer: “No, no, that’s why I stopped you.”

    Me: “How about this?”

    (I walk a little slower, stopping to look at merchandise and to examine them.)

    Customer: “No, you look like you’re shelving.”

    Me: “What about like this?”

    (I shuffle along slowly, staring vacantly at my shoes.)

    Customer: “No, you look like my son when he works. Oh dear, I guess you just can’t walk like a regular customer. You should take classes.”

    (She walks way and I look five feet to my left, where an actual employee is staring, open mouthed at the scene.)

    Employee: “I wonder who would teach those classes?”

    Don’t Take Customers At Face Value

    | Ottawa, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    Me: “Hi, how are you?”

    Customer: “You look like a serial killer!”

    Me: “Um… I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “Yeah, you look exactly like you’ve killed a someone, then locked them in your basement. But maybe that’s just the kind of person you look like. I don’t know, I’m not here to judge.”

    Anatomically Correct Vs Politically Incorrect

    | Washington, USA | Bizarre

    (I’m in the restroom while on duty in uniform. I walk in the door.)

    Customer: *startled* "Oh!"

    Me: "Sorry, excuse me."

    Customer: "You people use the bathroom too?"

    Me: "Yes, we only have the one, so everyone uses the same one.”

    Customer: "I guess I never thought of you as real people.”

    Personal Caller

    | Maryland, USA | Bizarre, Technology

    Me: “Thank you for calling customer service. My name is [name]. How can I help you today?”

    Elderly Customer: “Are you a person? A real live person?”

    Me: “Yes ma’am, I certainly am.”

    Elderly Customer: “I got a person! I GOT A PERSON! Oh my goodness, I got a real person!”

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