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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Must Be Really Hungry

    , | Annapolis, MD, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    Me: “Your table is not quite ready yet. Let me give you this pager it will go off as soon as the table is set.”

    Customer: “Ok, thank you. What’s the range on this pager?”

    Me: “Just on this side of the courtyard.”

    Customer: “Alright, and if I lick it, will it electrocute me?”

    Me: *pause* “Please…just…don’t.”

    Fritzl Be One Of Those Days

    , | Morgantown, WV, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    Me: “Hello sir, welcome to [fast food]. What would you like today?”

    Customer: *stares wide-eyed for a few moments* “Well, aren’t you the most adorable creature I have ever seen!”

    Me: “Thank you, sir. Can I interest you in our special today?”

    Customer: “I could just steal you and take you home in my wallet to live in my basement! My wife doesn’t like the basement, but it can be quite homey!”

    Me: “That’s nice, sir.”

    Customer: “Hurry! Into my wallet before anyone else decides to steal you!”

    Too Lazy To Lather

    | Toronto, Canada | Bizarre

    Customer: “I need help finding a soap with vanilla in it.”

    (I help her and show her a few products. She picks up a bar of soap.)

    Customer: “How do you use this one?”

    Me: “Oh, it’s just like a normal bar of soap.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “You know, like a normal soap bar? Um, like Dove or Irish Spring?”

    Customer: *blank stare*

    Me: “You take it into the shower with you, wet it, rub it all over, and rinse it off.”

    Customer: “Oh. That sounds like too much work.” *puts soap down and walks away*

    It’s Going To Be One Of Those Days, Part 2

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Bizarre

    Me: “Thank you, ma’am. Have a great day!”

    Customer: “You too! Oh, not you too. You have to work!”

    Related:
    It’s Going To Be One Of Those Days

    Don’t Make A Rash Purchase

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    Customer: “I need a matte eye-shadow because I’m allergic to shiny.”
     
    Me: “Do you know what ingredient you’re allergic to in shiny eyeshadow?”
     
    Customer: “Shiny! You know, shiny! I’m very sensitive!”
     
    Me: “Well, our matte eye-shadows are here.”
     
    (I pull aside the testers for the few matte products we have.)
     
    Customer: “Can I try this one?”
     
    Me: “Sure!”
     
    (I go to get a disposable brush. When I turn around, the customer has her eyes closed and is holding the tester millimeters from her eye. She opens her eyes to see me staring at her holding out a brush.)
     
    Customer: “I’m not allergic. I can tell using muscle testing. I’m very sensitive! This is a good one! What other colors do you have?”
     
    (She spent the next 20 minutes holding various products ‘testing them’ and announcing everything she was allergic to.)

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