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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    A Few Knights Short Of A Round Table

    | Germany | Bizarre

    (I am a dressmaker who specializes in historical clothing. I have made several dresses to illustrate the evolution of fashion over the centuries. These dresses hang in the back of our stall, each labeled with the proper century.)

    Customer: *rushes up an points to the 15th-century dress* “Oh, that’s my dress there!”

    Me: “Yes, it’s beautiful, isn’t it? Would you like to try it?”

    Customer: “I’d like to buy it. It’s exactly my dress.”

    Me: “Your dress?”

    Customer: “Yes. I had past-life regression last week. And I wore this dress while I was waltzing with King Arthur 500 years ago!”

    His Groceries Have Just Been Terminated

    | Peterborough, ON, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (I am ringing up a customer at my register; she had just told me she forgot her rewards card at home.)

    Me: “Do you have a reward card? Oh, shoot. Sorry! It’s just a habit to ask for it.”

    Customer: “Haha, don’t worry about it, I understand.”

    (There is an elderly man in line behind her.)

    Elderly Man: “They’ve programmed you!”

    Me: “Haha, yeah I guess they have.”

    Elderly Man: *shouting alarmingly* “They’ve programmed you! You’re some sort of robot aren’t you?”

    Me: *jokingly* “Yep, I’m a robot!”

    Elderly Man: *totally serious* “I knew it! You filthy robot! You’re going to kill me, aren’t you? This is some kind of government conspiracy! They sent you here to kill me! Well I won’t let you!”

    (He runs out of the store.)

    Pray She Doesn’t Order Steak

    | Portland, OR, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

    Customer: “Good morning! What is the special today?”

    Me: “We have a type of baked chicken with a sort of lemon sauce on top.”

    Customer: “Is the chicken alive?”

    Me: “No, I don’t think so.”

    Customer: “Oh, I don’t eat deceased meat, I’m sorry.”

    Me: “Ok, well here is a menu. What else interests you?”

    Customer: “How about a turkey sandwich?”

    Drive Hoo

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Top

    Me: “Welcome to [Fast-Food Restaurant], how may I help you?”

    Customer: “I’ll take a number 1, 5, and 12.”

    Me: “Alright, that’ll be $12.09.”

    Customer: “Woohoo!”

    (The customer drives to the window.)

    Me: “That’s $12.09.”

    Customer: “Woohoo!”

    *pause*

    Me: “$12.09.”

    Customer: “Woohoo!”

    Me: “12.”

    Customer: “Woo!”

    Me: “09.”

    Customer: “Hoo!”

    Me: “12.09″

    Customer: “Woohoo!”

    Me: “…09.12″

    Customer: “Hoowoo!”

    Me: “90.21″

    Customer: “Ooh-oow!”

    Me: “Well played, sir.”

    Phoning It In

    | Cardiff, Wales, UK | Bizarre, Technology

    (A customer phones up 5 minutes before we close, to try and track some products she ordered but haven’t been delivered.)

    Me: “Okay, I’m just going to need to take your contact details, so I can try and trace your order. Can I take your address and your
    phone number?”

    Customer: “I don’t have a phone.”

    Me: “How are we speaking now?”

    Customer: “I don’t know.”


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