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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    It’s So Fluffy!

    | Indianapolis, IN, USA | Bizarre

    (I work at a hotel doing housekeeping, laundry, and generally other things that need help. As I’m exchanging a guest’s towels, her friend comes out and seems really frustrated.)

    Guest: “Um, do you guys actually wash the pillows here?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. I can assure you that all the pillows in here are clean.”

    Guest: “Obviously they’re clean! But do you wash them?”

    Me:  ”Uh…yes, we do.”

    Guest:  ”I knew it! THAT’S WHY THE PILLOWS ARE TOO G** D*** FLUFFY!”

    Me:  ”I’m sorry to hear that you were uncomfortable. Sometimes guests that are more used to things from their house bring their own pillows.”

    Guest: “And why the h*** would I do that?! All you d*** people would just steal it and make it fluffy!”

    Thank You For Shopping At Wrongway Mart

    | Amsterdam, NY, USA | Bizarre

    (I work at a rest stop in Amsterdam, NY, which is about 180 miles north-west of New York City. We are on the west-bound side of I-90. One night, two customers came into my shop to purchase some chips and soda.)

    Me: *ringing out the purchase* “That will be $xx.xx. Will there be anything else?”

    Customer #1: “Yeah, how long ’til we get to New York City?”

    Me: “You’re about three and a half hours away from New York City, but you’re heading the wrong way.”

    Customer #1: “Huh? Whaddya mean?”

    Me: “Well, New York City is southeast of here. To get there, you need to get on I-90 east, and then take I-87 south. Right now you’re on I-90 headed west toward Utica and Buffalo.”

    (Utica and Buffalo are about 240 and 396 miles away from NYC, respectively.)

    Customer #2:“Yeah! that’s where we’re going! Utica, Buffalo, New York City! That area!”

    Customer #1: *as the two leave* “NEW YORK!!! WHOO!”

    Love Can Drive You Crazy

    | Orange County, CA, USA | Bizarre, Holidays

    (It’s Valentine’s Day, and my mom is getting a new cell phone. Except for the salesman, my mother, and me, the store is empty. We are making small talk as he is setting it up.)

    Salesman: “…yeah, my neighbor’s been really mad at me lately. It’s weird.”

    (Suddenly, a lady bursts into the store, COMPLETELY decked out in Valentine’s Day wear. She even had those little heart antennae things that little kids wear.)

    Valentine’s lady: “I just saw your commercial on TV, and my daughter’s phone is all messed up! It’s your fault! My daughter’s phone is all messed up and now she can’t call! Your commercial is misleading! You have TERRIBLE MARKETING!”

    (Without another word, she storms out.)

    Me: “Was that your neighbor?”

    Salesman: “I have no idea who that was…”

    That’s One Vote For President Paranoia

    | Finland | Bizarre, Politics

    (I work as an election official at an early voting polling station in Finland. Early voting slips have to be sent to the voters’ own electoral districts before counting them. This means they are enclosed first into one envelope to ensure anonymity, which is then enclosed into yet another envelope with the address of the voter’s district on it. I am processing a lady voter’s slip.)

    Me: “Okay. Now that everything is stamped and signed, we just have to enclose your voting slip into these two envelopes, and then we’ll be good as done.”

    Voter: “What?! You can’t talk about the candidates here. This is supposed to be a neutral situation!”

    Me: “I beg your pardon?”

    Voter: “Don’t you know that it’s illegal to try to influence voters at the polling station? How can you not know that if you work here?”

    Me: *confused*

    Voter: “This is just unprofessional, you talking about the candidates’ numbers. I demand you discuss this with your coworkers at the end of the day!”

    (The voter leaves, looking quite appalled. We did discuss the episode at the end of the day and onto the next day. The only conclusion we can arrive at is that the phrase “two envelopes” is clearly propaganda for candidate number 2!)

    Please Contact Manufacturer For Missing Parts

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Technology

    (I work for a major cable company troubleshooting internet problems over the phone. I am not sure if the customer in this story isn’t sober or just crazy, but he definitely isn’t right.)

    Me: “All right…let’s reconnect the cables to your router and we’ll have you back up in no time.”

    Customer: *distracted* “Hey, honey? How many fingers should I have?”

    Wife: *in the background* “You have five on each hand.”

    Customer: *panicking* “Oh, God! I’ve only got four and my thumb!” *to me* “I’m going to have to call you back. I need to dial 911 now!” *hangs up*

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