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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    The Answer To Life, The Universe, And Everything

    | Arizona, USA | Bizarre, Geeks Rule

    (We greet customers as they come in and answer questions they may have. A man comes in with his wife and comes over to me.)

    Me: “Did you have a question, sir?”

    Customer: “So what have you heard about woodchucks?”

    (I’m completely confused, so I try to just play along.)

    Me: “I hear they chuck wood.”

    (The customer begins to scowl at me, actually looking offended and disgusted with my answer. He then asks me a few questions about some of our products before heading off to shop.)

    Customer: *cryptically* “And you keep thinking about those woodchucks…”

    (He returns later and I am the cashier to take care of him. He brings up the woodchuck thing again as he’s about to leave.)

    Customer: “I’ve only had one person, this old man—a veteran—answer me correctly. He told me…42.”

    And…We’re Still Here (Happy New Year, Everyone!)

    | Vermont, USA | Bizarre

    (A customer, more intent on small talk than shopping, wanders into the bakery.)

    Customer: “So, you have a stove in your bakery?”

    Me: “Yup.”

    Customer: “I run a thrift store. We’re looking for stoves. I’m gonna need a stove when I move.”

    Me: “Oh?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I’m building a church up on the mountain for when the famine hits. People will need a place to go, y’know?”

    Me: “Um…yeah…that’s a good idea.”

    Customer: “Yeah. It’ll be a church and thrift shop. Gotta diversify. You should do more than just baking at your bakery.”

    Me: “We’ll take that into consideration…”

    Customer: “Yeah, I was talking to my boss. You know how everyone thinks the world will end in 2012? Well, my boss told me to change that to 2011 in the US!”

    Me: “Oh.”

    Customer: “Yeah, there’s going to be a huge famine and everyone is going to die!”

    Me: “Well, thanks for the warning. Have a nice day!”

    For The Sake Of Demonstration

    , | Georgia, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Top

    (This gentleman has just ordered a vanilla cone. My coworker is standing at the window giving it out while I am beside her. He asks an odd question as he is handed his ice cream.)

    Customer: “Do you believe in unicorns?”

    Coworker: “What?“

    Customer: “Doo-dee-doo-dee…”

    (He takes the ice cream cone and smashes it onto the top of his head, I’m assuming as to resemble a unicorn horn, and then drives away.)

    Me: “Oh, my.”

    Coworker: “Did that really just happen?”

    Makes Perfect (Non)sense

    | Missouri, USA | Bizarre

    (I work at a mail order pharmacy at the receptionist desk. This call comes into the switchboard.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling pharmacy. How may I direct your call?”

    Caller: “I wanna talk to [name].”

    Me: “I’m sorry, there is no one here by that name. Are you a customer of ours?”

    Caller: “I need to speak with [different name] because Barack Obama sent some men to try and kill me!”

    Me: “Um, I’m sorry, are you a patient? Do you need medication from us?”

    Caller: “No, [different name] stole my rent money and Barack Obama is working with OJ Simpson, who’s in prison, and they are sending some men after me to kill me! Obama apologized to me publicly, but he didn’t mean it! Now he’s trying to send OJ Simpson to kill me!”

    Ralph Waldo Emerson Would Be Proud

    | Pennsylvania, USA | Bizarre

    Patron: “Do you have any books about division?”

    Me: “Sure, we have lots of books about arithmetic. One of them is bound to have what you’re looking for.”

    Patron: “Good. The radio frequencies around my house interfere with my calculator, so I have to learn math again.”

    Me: “Let me just show you those books.”

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