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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Counting To Eternity

    | Birmingham, England, UK | Awesome Customers, Bizarre, Top

    (I am working on the tills, and pretty bored when a transaction equals £12.34.)

    Me: “That is…” *glances at screen* “…ha! One, two, three, four!”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “Sorry, twelve-thirty four… one, two three, four. It just made me smile.”

    Customer: “Wow! Has this ever happened before? That’s amazing.”

    (As I rarely work the tills, this is actually the first time this has happened to me.)

    Me: “This is the first time. We’ll remember this for the rest of our lives.”

    Customer: “This is an unbreakable bond!”

    Me: “Stronger than marriage, some would say!”

    Customer: “You can’t divorce out of this!”

    Me: “It’s eternal!”

    (By now another customer behind is staring at us like we are mad.)

    Customer: “I’m going to have to tell all my friends about this! Can you sign my receipt?”

    Me: *signs his receipt*

    Customer: *walks away, grinning*

    Customer Vs Costumer

    | Portland, OR, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (It is the opening of ‘The Dark Knight Rises’. As it’s a major film, staff are allowed to relax the dress code and dress up in the theme of the film. Our most senior floor manager that day is wearing a Batman mask, cape, utility belt, and boots. He’s at customer service and I’m in concessions.)

    Customer: “There is way too much salt in this popcorn. Are you trying to make my kids sick?”

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry you think the popcorn is too salty. Can I remake a batch for you without the flavoring salt?”

    Customer: “I’m taking my kids to get tested and then I’m going to sue this theater!”

    Me: “Because the popcorn was too salty?”

    Customer: “Yes! I know you do it to drive drink sales, but this is immoral!”

    Me: “An immoral amount of salt?”

    Customer: “Yes! This is immoral, what you’re doing. You’re making kids sick! Now where’s your manager? I want to talk to an adult!”

    (I’m 19. My manager in the Batman costume is 23.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I am a manager. If you’d like, I can give you all the information to file a complaint with corporate.”

    Customer: “No! I want to talk to an adult. Not a little girl!”

    Me: “Okay, well, our most senior manager on staff is behind Customer Service.”

    Customer: *looks around, but doesn’t realize who my manager is*

    Me: “He’s the one dressed up like Batman.”

    Customer: *turns and walks out of the theater without another word*

    (Thankfully, we never got sued and never saw her again.)

    When You’ve Been Shawshanked

    | BC, Canada | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    (I work at a table that is set up at a farmer’s market every Sunday where I sell different deli meats. I also cater events and I am speaking to a couple in their 30s about possibly catering an engagement party. I am a caucasian female in my 20s.)

    Me: “So, I can give you my business card if you’d like to discuss the options for your engagement party.”

    Woman: “Sure, thanks!”

    Man: “You’ve been so helpful!” *looks at name on business card* “Morgan Freeman? Are you seriously Morgan Freeman?”

    Me: “Well, yes. That’s my name.”

    Woman: “Are you the actor?”

    Me: *laughing* “Haha, only on weekdays!”

    Man: “No she’s not. What a liar! This is bulls***. You’re not Morgan Freeman!”

    Woman: “Honey, it says right there on the card. So, are you the one that does all the narration? Like for the penguin movies?”

    Man: “She’s a liar. We’re leaving.”

    Me: “No. I’m not the African American male actor. But anyway, my email and phone number are on there for my catering business.”

    Man: “Sorry, we don’t deal with liars.”

    (He hauls his fiancée away.)

    Woman: *turns around and literally yells* “DO YOU KNOW OPRAH?!”

    Wait Until You Hear The Sticking Point

    | USA | Bizarre

    (A male customer walks in with a large stick.)

    Customer: “Hi, do you guys sell baby shoes?”

    Me: “Yes we do, sir. They are right over there.” *points to the shoes*

    Customer: “Okay, thanks.”

    (He walks over and proceeds to go through them. A few minutes later, he brings to the counter some baby shoes.)

    Me: “These are very cute shoes. You have nice taste.”

    Customer: “Thank you.”

    (He then takes the shoes and puts them on the end of his stick.)

    Customer: “The bottoms getting a little worse for wear and I would hate to get rid of this nice stick. Shoes should do the trick!” *smiles and walks out*

    Taking The Hi Road

    | TX, USA | Bizarre, Language & Words

    (It’s been an unusually busy day, and my coworkers and I have been taking calls back to back for several hours.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [name of business]. This is [my name]; how can I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi, [my name]!”

    (I wait a few seconds for her to tell me what she needs, but she remains silent.)

    Me: “Yes, how can I help you?”

    Caller: “Hi, [my name]!”

    Me: “Ma’am, is there something I can help you with?”

    Caller: “Hi, [my name]!”

    (I’m starting to think this is a prank call or the person is not all there.)

    Me: “Well, if there’s nothing I can help you with, I’m going to have to—”

    Caller: “It must take a lot of effort if you won’t even say ‘Hi’.”

    Me: “…Hello?”

    Caller: “Hi, [my name]!”

    Me: “Hi.”

    Caller: “It took way too much work for you to just say ‘Hi’ to me. I don’t want you to help me! Transfer me to someone else!”

    (She had probably waited at least 10 minutes before reaching me, and would have to wait at least 10 more minutes to speak to someone else. She was fine with that!)

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