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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Sour On Devouring Flowers

    | Northern California, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I’m working at a stall selling flowers in a popular farmer’s market. We have a large sign reading “EDIBLE FLOWERS!” to sell nasturtiums and organic, pesticide-free roses. A customer approaches.)

    Customer: “Edible flowers? Are they made of sugar or something?”

    Me: “No, sir! These are organically-grown flowers that are entirely edible. They’re usually used to add color to salads or as a garnish.”

    Customer: “Like what?”

    Me: “Well, these rose petals add color and a romantic flair to a dish, but they don’t have much flavor, rather like celery. Personally, I like the nasturtiums. They’re rather peppery and tasty. Would you like to try one?”

    Customer: “You’re just putting me on, aren’t you?”

    Me: “Not at all! Here, see?”

    (I pick up one of the loose nasturtiums off the counter, pluck a petal off and eat it.)

    Customer: “All right, I’ll try it.”

    (I pluck another petal off the same flower and hand it to him. He puts it in his mouth and I see a pleasantly surprised expression spread across his face. I grin, happy to see he’s enjoying it.)

    Customer: “HEY! Why’re you laughing at me?!”

    Me: “Huh? I’m not laughing, I was smiling since you seem to be—”

    Customer: “YOU TRICKED ME! I bet these aren’t edible at all! I’m gonna sue you!”

    Me: “Sir, you just watched me eat part of the same flower—”

    Customer: “You grow ‘em! I bet you’ve developed an immunity and stuff! You tried to poison me, and now you’re laughing at me! I’m gonna sue you and then I’LL be the one laughing!” *storms off*

    It’s A Face Off

    | Virginia, USA | Bizarre, Top

    (I greet a customer cheerfully as she enters the shop. After browsing briefly, she gives me a suspicious look and then leaves the store. A few moments later, she returns with my boss.)

    Customer: “HER! That is the WORST example of customer service I have ever experienced in this town!”

    Boss: *to me* “Could you explain what happened a minute ago?”

    Me: “I…I don’t understand. I said, ‘Hi, how are you today?’ and she left pretty much after that.”

    Customer: “Look at you now, tearing up in front of the boss! Well, missy, let me tell you…” *to my boss* “LOOK! She’s scowling again, behind your back! That is EXACTLY what I’m talking about!”

    (I’m not sure what she’s referring to, but I have naturally fair blonde hair which is dyed a darker shade. I line my brows a shade to match, and they have a dramatic natural arch.)

    Boss: “Ma’am? I think that’s just her face. She isn’t trying to offend.”

    Customer: “You think you’re so smart, missy? Well, one day, someone is going to call you out on your games! THEY’LL WIPE THAT SMUG LOOK RIGHT OFF YOUR FACE!”

    Me: *I wipe my brow liner off and give her a blank look*

    Customer: *makes a choked noise, then quickly exits*

    Welcome To Scoff-Fuss Depot

    | Westminster, CO, USA | Bizarre

    (A male customer comes in looking for the copiers to enlarge a photo. I assist him with his copies and then return to my register. The customer continues to browse the baskets by the register.)

    Customer: *holds up a flashlight* “What’s this?”

    Me: “That’s a flashlight, sir.”

    Customer: *holds up a packet of Post-its* “What’s this?”

    Me: “Those are Post-it flags. They have adhesive on the back of one end so you can use them to mark pages in books.”

    Customer: “Adhesive, huh? Sure…” *gives me a knowing smile*

    Me: *confused*

    Customer: *holds up some speakers* “So, what are these? Little TVs?”

    Me: “No, sir…those are speakers.”

    Customer: *looks slightly alarmed* “Speakers? For what?”

    Me: “For a computer, sir.”

    Customer: *rolls eyes* “Computers! You know, I feel terrible for leaving here without a present for the grandkids, but EVERYTHING you sell these days is poison or dynamite! It’s not SAFE!” *storms out of the store*

    Please Don’t Cowell Back

    | Mansfield, OH, USA | Bizarre, Top

    (I’m working for a call center on a forced third shift night. It is on my third day of no sleep.)

    Me: *still upbeat and cheery* “Thank you for calling [company]. My name is [name]. I’m sorry but our systems are updating, but I’d be more then happy to answer any general questions or concerns that you may have.”

    Caller: *vindictively* “So, I got Mr. Ryan Seacrest on the phone now?!”

    Me: “My apologies, sir, but my name is—”

    Caller: “So, I have to talk to some little pansy **** **** who sounds like Moviefone to give me what I want?!”

    Me: “Sir, if you—”

    Caller: “So, I have to play with this Moviefone Directory to get what I want?!”

    (The caller starts to randomly press buttons on the phone while continuing to cuss up a storm.)

    Caller: “Are you still there Ryan Seacrest?! Did you hang up on me?!”

    Me: “No, I did not sir, I was just waiting for you to finish before I—”

    Caller: “Oh, so Mr. Seacrest has the nerves to talk to me?!”

    Me: “Sir, if you want access to an account, I must apologize but with the update running here in the facility we are not able to pull up any account info. If—”

    Caller: “I don’t need anything from Ryan Seacrest or Moviefone!”

    Me: “Sir, this is [company], not Moviefone.”

    Caller: “So, Mr. Seacrest thinks he’s so smart!”

    Me: “Sir, do you have an account with [company]?”

    Caller: “Who?”

    Me: “Due to policy, I have been instructed that I am allowed to end this call. Thank you and have a nice day.”

    Caller: “I’m not done degrading you!”

    Me: *click*

    Be Discrete On The Receipt

    , | Kansas, USA | Bizarre

    (I am ringing up a customer. Note that the receipts automatically print on credit transactions.)

    Me: “Would you like your receipt?”

    Customer: “No! How dare you! You better not give me receipt! I will be so pissed!”

    Me: “Oh, um, okay then!”

    (I finish ringing her up and the receipt prints automatically.)

    Customer: “Why did you print that?! I told you I didn’t want it! Do I need to slap you?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. They print automatically when you use a credit card. You don’t have to take it or anything.”

    Customer: “I hate you young kids who think you know everything! You print receipts like it’s nothing!”

    Me: *not knowing what to say* “Well, have a great evening.”

    Customer: “How could I?! You printed the receipt!”

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