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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Two Oblongs Don’t Make A Right

    , | Minnesota, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Rude & Risque

    (Note: I’m working the drive-thru.)

    Coworker: “Hey, ask this next guy how his mom’s doing.”

    Me: “Uh, okay…” *to customer* “Hey, how’s your mom doing?”

    Customer: “She’s in f***ing jail! Thanks for asking!”

    (The customer drives from the intercom to my window, pulls down his pants, shakes his butt at us, and then drives away. The next customer in line pulls up.)

    Next Customer: “What the H*** was that?!”

    Also seen on Not Always Working.

    Greeting Sheldon Cooper

    | Livingston, NJ, USA | Bizarre

    (I am greeting customers by the front entrance when an elderly man enters with his middle-aged daughter.)

    Me: “How’s it going today, sir?”

    Customer: “Well, that entirely depends on what you mean by ‘it,’ doesn’t it?”

    Me: “Um, well—”

    Customer: “If by ‘it’ you mean to ask how I’m doing, well, my back is very bad today. I’ve had several surgeries on it and it is still remarkably painful.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to hear that—”

    Customer: “On the other hand, perhaps ‘it’ is a vague reference to the general state of things in this country. If that is, in fact, the case, I should point out that the current economic climate—”

    Customer’s Daughter: “What he means to say is that he’s fine. Thanks for asking!” *mouths to me when he’s not looking* “I’m sorry!”

    Related:
    Dating Sheldon Cooper, Part 8 (Not Always Romantic)

    A Pack Of The Clones

    | UK | Bizarre, Top

    (Instead of having a definite job role I am just expected to help out wherever the restaurant is short. On this day, I have been cleaning.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, could you tell me where your toilets are?”

    Me: “Just through there, sir. Just give me a moment to get the cleaning stuff out of there.”

    (I clear the toilet and leave. On my way downstairs, I am asked to open the bar up for the customers. I change and do so.)

    Same Customer: “Oh, weren’t you just upstairs?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. Can I get you anything?”

    Same Customer: *nervous look* “Uh, I’ll just have a coffee. I’m sitting over there…”

    (After serving, I change again and start waiting tables.)

    Me: “Hello again. Can I take your order?”

    Same Customer: *upset* No…no…I think I’ll have to leave…”

    Me: “Are you okay, sir?”

    Same Customer: “I can’t eat in a place that employs CLONES! CLONES! CLONES EVERYWHERE!” *leaves*

    The Diva Is Always Right

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Bizarre, Hotels & Lodging

    (At the hotel where I work, we’ve had an influx of stolen credit cards and IDs recently. So, my manager is very strict about only allowing valid state issued ID. A guest calls in one night.)

    Guest: “I’m over here at [another hotel chain]. I just flew in from Spain, but my purse got stolen and this jacka*** won’t let me get a room! I don’t mean to brag, but I’m a millionaire. Can I check in at your hotel instead?”

    Me: “Not without a valid state issued ID, ma’am.”

    Guest: “Oh, so I guess I’m going to have to buy your hotel as well?! You’d better watch out, b****, because I’m going to buy your hotel! You’ve just pissed off THE DIVA! You’ve just been DIVAFIED!” *hangs up*

    Rooted In Anger

    | Illinois, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Wild & Unruly

    (Note: My hair is a darker shade of auburn and I am often asked it’s natural, which it is. A seemingly normal woman comes up to the register.)

    Me: “Is this all today, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Oh, my! Is that your actual hair color?”

    Me: “Oh, yes, it is.”

    Customer: “It’s not fair! IT MAKES ME WANT TO RIP YOUR EYEBALLS OUT!”

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