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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Doesn’t Give Two Hoots About Listening

    | AB, Canada | Bizarre, Pets & Animals, Theme Of The Month, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (My city is having an annual festival in the downtown area. I have an animatronic owl that I like to bring out on such occasions. It sits on my shoulder and moves in a very life-like manner. Kids love it and are very respectful of it. Adults, on the other hand are not. A woman grabs me by the shoulder, spins me around, and yells…)

    Woman: “WHAT IS THAT?!”

    Me: “Whoa… um, please don’t touch me. It’s a puppet.”

    (I begin to walk away, but she grabs me again and tries to knock the owl off my shoulder.)


    Me: “Again, please don’t touch me, and DO NOT touch my puppet. And it IS a puppet, not real. It’s made of faux fur, polymer and cables.”

    (The woman starts yelling to a police officer, who is monitoring the event.)


    (The officer comes over, and examines my owl puppet.)

    Officer: “So how does this thing work?”

    (I explain how I control it with a hidden cable, and how it’s made.)


    Officer: “Ma’am, it’s obviously a puppet. A very neat and realistic puppet, but a puppet all the same. I’m going to have to ask you to stop yelling; you’re causing a disturbance.”


    (I remove the owl from my shoulder, showing that it stays put with magnets and reveal the hidden cable.)


    Officer: “Okay, that’s it. You’re coming with me!”

    Maybe Crazy Is In Her Nature

    | Portland, OR, USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (I have fairly long hair, which is dyed dark forest green. I am looking in the produce section, when someone grabs a handful of my hair and pulls on it as hard as they can. I cry out in pain and turn around to see an old woman glaring at me.)

    Me: “That hurt! Why would you do that?”

    Old Woman: “That didn’t hurt you, ya’ big baby! Anyone can see that hair ain’t real!”

    (She reaches for my hair again; I back up and almost knock over a small wire display rack.)

    Me: “Don’t touch me!”

    (By now we’ve attracted the attention of a nearby manager.)

    Manager: “Is there a problem here?”

    Old Woman: “Yes there is! This is a natural market! I come here to see natural things, and that hair ain’t natural! I want her out of here!”

    Manager: “I can’t do that, but I can call the police because I’m pretty sure pulling someone’s hair counts as assault.”

    (The old lady looks stunned, and hurries away. The manager makes sure I’m alright before she goes on her way.)

    Call A Doctor If He Starts Chirping

    | Clay, NY, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Pets & Animals

    (We have a variety of animals, such as reptiles. Some reptiles require crickets as a main staple of their diet. Most people buy more than they need, and keep them in containers with special foods and drinks to feed the crickets to keep them alive. I receive a phone call.)

    Me: “[Pet Store], can I help you?”

    Caller: “Yeah I have a question about the [Brand] cricket food. Do you know which one I’m talking about?”

    Me: “Yes I do.”

    Caller: “Well my 17-year-old son ate some, and I was wondering if it was safe for human consumption?”

    Me: “C-come again?”

    Caller: “My 17-year-old son ate some, and I was wondering if it was safe for human consumption?”

    Me: “To be honest, I’m not entirely sure. Let me look at the ingredients real quick.”

    (I go to read the label on the jar, and there are no indications on the label that it would be harmful to people.)

    Me: “Well, I read the ingredients and I don’t really see anything on here that would make him sick.”

    Caller: “Is this something we should call the doctor about?”

    Me: “I honestly don’t know, but I would definitely keep an eye on him and see if he seems fine.”

    Caller: “Well, he’s fine, but he’s got diarrhea.”

    Me: “That’s probably why.”

    Caller: “Oh.”

    Me: “I don’t know what else to tell you other to keep an eye on him; I’ve never been asked about that before.”

    Caller: “Okay, well we’ll let you know. Thank you for the help.”

    (I texted my coworker and boss later. Apparently in their years of experience, that was a first for them, too.)

    Where Does The Fox Stay?

    | England, UK | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

    Client: “I’m 90 years old, and when I came downstairs this morning there was a cat and five kittens in my kitchen! What should I do? I can’t look after these kittens; I’m 90!”

    Me: “Have you tried asking your neighbours if anyone recognises the cat?”

    Client: “Yes, yes, I tried that.”

    Me: “You could try phoning the [well known animal charity]?”

    Client: “I’m not doing that!”

    Me: “Oh, okay. Do you mind if I ask why not?”

    Client: “I phoned them once because I had a fox come through my cat flap! They refused to come out and get it, so it ended up staying for three months!”

    Off-Track Solution

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

    (I work as an attendant for the local transit train system. A family walks in and buys some tickets for next the train to Toronto. Afterwards, they go out to the platform as the train begins to arrive. Once it stops, the daughter runs off the platform and goes under the first car lying against the tracks. Everyone goes into a panic, so I run out and try talk to the girl.)

    Me: “Ma’am, get out from under there!”

    Customer: “No! We bought tickets, so we go to Toronto!”

    Me: “Yes… so are you trying to board?”

    Customer: “Yeah! This is the way in!”

    Me: “No, you go through the doors.”

    Customer: “No, I am not stupid! Those are just stickers for show! That’s just f****** stupid! God!”

    (I give up and leave. The conductor had to pry her out and show her the real way in. It ended up halting all train traffic for that specific line and delayed all trains for two hours.)

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