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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Obviously, She Was Dyeing To Know

    | UK | Bizarre

    (I am volunteering at a charity when a seemingly normal woman approaches my till without any items. Note: I have dark brown hair naturally.)

    Me: “Hello, how can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Is that your natural hair colour?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Don’t lie to me!”

    Me: “Um, I’m not lying to you.”

    Customer: “YOU’RE SUCH A LYING B****!”

    Me: *taken aback* “I… I’m not lying.”

    Customer: “STOP LYING! YOU’LL BURN IN H*** IF YOU CARRY ON LYING! NOW TELL ME WHAT DYE YOU USE!”

    (At this point, my coworker comes over.)

    Coworker: “Ma’am, what’s the problem here?”

    Customer: “This b**** won’t tell me what dye she uses! She’s being selfish! I want her fired!”

    Coworker: “Well, our manager isn’t in today, so no one has the authority to fire her. I feel obliged to add this is her natural hair colour, though.”

    Customer: “YOU’RE ALL F***ING LIARS IN THIS D*** SHOP! JUST F*** OFF!”

    (The customer storms out, knocking things off the hangers as she goes.)

    Coworker: “What the h*** was that?!”

    Some Customers Can’t Be Helped

    | PA, USA | Bizarre

    (I’m sorting out sizes in a rack of shirts that just gone clearance. I notice a customer that appears to be having difficulty finding what they’re looking for.)

    Me: “Sir, I just want you to know that the extra smalls, smalls, and mediums are all in the labelled sections. However, I’m still in the process of sorting through the larges and extra larges. Let me know if you need help finding anything.”

    (The customer randomly takes a bunch of mediums and throws them in the small section.)

    Customer: “I don’t need your f***ing help!”

    Me: “I apologize if I offended you sir, but it’s my job to offer assistance.”

    Customer: “WELL, THEN YOU’RE NOT DOING YOUR F***ING JOB!”

    There’s No Business Like My Business

    | California, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (I work at a well-known retail pharmacy. One night while I’m still new on the job, I’m manning one of the cash registers.)

    Woman: “Hi, where is your baking soda?”

    Me: “Um, I can’t guarantee that we have baking soda, but if we do, it would be in Aisle 3.”

    Woman: *goes off to look for it*

    (15 minutes later, the customer comes through my line with her baking soda.)

    Me: “Oh, I see you found it! I’m glad we carry it.”

    Woman: “If you hadn’t, I would have been very frustrated, and I would never have come here again!”

    (I think she’s joking and laugh a bit.)

    Me: “Well, I’m certainly glad you found it!”

    Woman: *completely serious* “I did that to [other retail store] when they didn’t have lettuce, and they went out of business within a week!”

    Me: *pause* “Um… I’m REALLY glad you found the baking soda, then.”

    For Bitter Or Worse

    , | Montana, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (I have been working at the same fast food restaurant since high school. That was a little over four years ago, so a lot of the regulars know me pretty well. I’m also usually mistaken for being much younger than I actually am, especially when I have my hair pulled up. I am also a recent newlywed, and my wedding band doesn’t look like the typical wedding band.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [fast food restaurant]. What can I get you?”

    Regular Customer: “Oh, that is a pretty ring!”

    (The customer points to my wedding band, which is silver with a gold Celtic Claddagh in the center.)

    Regular Customer: “Who got that for you?

    Me: “Oh, it is my wedding band. My husband got it for me.”

    Regular Customer: *blank stare*

    Me: “…Ma’am?”

    Regular Customer: *starts yelling* “You are FAR to young to get married! This is insane! I need to speak to your manager!”

    (At this point, I don’t know what to do, so I go get one of supervisors.)

    Supervisor: “What seems to be the problem, ma’am?”

    Regular Customer: “Did you know that this young woman is married? She is too young to get married! Was she forced? How can you allow something like this to happen to one of your coworkers?”

    Supervisor: “Ma’am, how old do you think she is?”

    Regular Customer: “She can’t be more than seventeen… Oh, I know!” *to me* “You are pregnant, aren’t you?”

    Me: *completely shocked* “No, ma’am, I’m not pregnant. And I’m not seventeen. I’m 21.”

    Regular Customer: “No, you aren’t, I’ve been coming here for years. You are seventeen, and you are probably pregnant which is why you were forced into marriage.” *to my supervisor* “What is this world coming to these days?!”

    Me: “Here ma’am, take a look at my ID.”

    (The customer looks at my ID, which clearly shows that I am 21.)

    Regular Customer: *frustrated* “Well, you’re still young to be married. It must have been a shotgun wedding!”

    Ah, Grandmothers, Part 2

    | NY, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Top

    (I am a customer in this story and am with my grandmother. The cashier is an older woman in her mid- to late-60s.)

    Cashier: “Well dearie, I think we’ve finished the returns. So, we can start on your purchases.” *starts scanning items*

    Me: “Thanks. It took me a while to find these bargains.”

    Cashier: “Well, I can tell by your savings now that you’ve done pretty well!”

    (Without warning, another customer pushes past me and my grandmother and starts trying to take my items.)

    Cashier: *to the other customer* “Excuse me, ma’am. These do not belong to you. These belong to these ladies here.”

    Other Customer: “RACISM! I knew this store was racist! Trying to take MY ITEMS and give them to this WHITE TRASH HERE!”

    (Note: the other customer is also white. My poor grandmother is bewildered and doesn’t know what to say or do. The cashier is on the verge of tears and calls security.)

    Me: “Excuse me, but those items are indeed mine. I spent almost two hours here with my grandmother trying to find them. If you want, I can tell you where I found them.”

    Other Customer: “LIES! You stole them from me! B***h, you are gonna get SUED!”

    (At this moment, security shows up.)

    Security: *to the other customer* “Oh, no she isn’t. Lady, we have to talk with you.”

    Other Customer: “About time! Take this trailer trash outta the store! Stealing my things! It’s a crime. I’ll sue you and your store and this b**** for thievery!”

    Security: “Lady, we have security cameras in the store. We checked them and discovered you have been the one stealing. So, you’re going to have to come with us.”

    Other Customer: “LIKE H*** I AM!” *runs out of the store with security chasing her*

    Cashier: *to me grandmother and I* “I am so sorry. Would you like store credit or something?”

    (My grandmother and I talk and decide not to take it because it wasn’t the store’s fault. Instead, I pay for my items and we leave. On our way out, we see the other customer is being questioned by police.)

    My Grandmother: *to the other customer* “B****! You got what you deserved. Karma got you back, fool!”

    Related:
    Ah, Grandmothers
    Ah, Mothers
    Ah, Fathers
    Ah, Fathers, Part 2

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