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  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Very Grim Job Prospects

    | CT, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Theme Of The Month

    (I work retail and overhear a mother and child.)

    Child: “Is that a scythe?”

    Me: “Yes, it is.”

    Child: “Mom, can I have it?”

    Mother: “Why?”

    Child: “So I can reap souls.”

    Me: “Wait, what?”

    Child: “I want to be the Grim Reaper by the time I’m 15, and then retire by the age of 30.”

    Me: “She’s joking, right?”

    Mother: “No…”

    Blow The Lid Off

    , | MI, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I am covering drive-thru on my own for a little bit, due to extreme traffic at our front counter. I take a woman’s order, make her drink, and cash her out. When handing the coffee to a customer, I hold it on the top so they can get a grip on the cup itself. It makes it a lot easier for the customer, and it means that our hands don’t touch and cross-contaminate.)

    Me: *hands the woman her coffee* “Have a—”

    Woman: *glares at me* “You touched the lid. You can never touch my coffee lid.”

    (I made her coffee. Which includes putting the lid on, and writing how much cream and sugar I put in it.)

    Me: *too puzzled to speak*

    Woman: “You can never touch my coffee lid. Now I need a new one. DOMED.”

    (I grab her a different lid (my hand touches it, and it doesn’t bother her), and pass it out to her. She tsks at me, and drives off, repeating ‘You don’t ever touch my lid.’ She’s a regular customer, and she does this to everyone.)

    Just A Normal Day In The Republic

    | Poutlney, Vermont, USA | Bizarre, Politics, Religion

    (I’m at the register when an older gentleman wearing an USMC cap walks briskly into the store. He asks if we still have our jumbo-sized eggs. I tell him yes and point him in the direction. The conversation happens while I’m cashing him out.)

    Customer: “Do you have children?”

    Me: “No, I do not.”

    Customer: “Are you married?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Good. When you decide to have children, take it slow. Make sure you do it right.”

    Me: “Okay… I will…?”

    Customer: “What does your husband do?”

    Me: “He works here in the store.”

    Customer: “Oh, good. In the meantime, make sure he’s baptized and votes Republican. Have a good day now.”

    Me: “You, too…” *to myself after customer walks out the door* “Did that really just happen?”

    If I Had A Gold Coin For Every Odd Customer

    | Aurora, CO, USA | Bizarre, Money

    (I am on the phone…)

    Me: “…so I’m sending you an email confirmation of this reservation. Would you like the confirmation number verbally as well?”

    Caller: “No, thank you. I do have one question, though…”

    Me: “Yes, sir?”

    Caller: “I have a clay pot sitting in front of me. It’s about eight inches wide and twelve inches deep.”

    Me: “…Yes?”

    Caller: “Would you be able to fill it with gold coins?”

    Me: *thinking he means gold dollars* “Oh, no, sir. Unfortunately gold coins aren’t something we generally keep at the front desk, but there is a bank located within walking distance where you can exchange for gold dollars.”

    Caller: “So you’ll give me a voucher when I get there?”

    Me: “Uh… no. You have to exchange your own money for the gold dollars.”

    Caller: “Okay. Stay out of trouble!” *click*

    Hit The Nail On The Head

    | VA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (A couple of months ago, the replacement crown on my front tooth fell off as I was habitually biting on one of my fingernails. I set up an appointment for the next day to get it replaced.)

    Assistant: “So, what were you doing when it fell out?”

    Me: “Well, I was biting my nail…”

    (I look over and see a look of horror on the woman’s face. I’m very aware that a lot of people find this habit disgusting, and she was elderly, so I just assumed it was a combination of the two.)

    Me: “I know. I know. It’s a bad habit…”

    Assistant: “Why would you do that?!”

    Me: “…I’m sorry? It’s just biting my nails.”

    (I lift up my thumb to my mouth and making a biting motion, and she sighs in relief.)

    Assistant: “You mean your FINGER nails! Oh, thank goodness.”

    Me: “What did you think I meant?”

    Assistant: “NAILS. Like you hit with a hammer.”

    Me: “WHAT?! Why would anyone just be biting on nails?”

    Assistant: “We get a lot of people…”