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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Some Requests Are Too Exotic

    | CA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Rude & Risque

    Customer: “Hi. I would like to confirm my order of exotic Mexican dancers for my brother’s bachelor party.”

    Me: “Um, sir, are you sure you have the right number? This—”

    Customer: “I am getting late! I ordered them yesterday!”

    Me: “Sir, this is [Home Retail Store]‘”

    Customer: “Yeah, I know that! What am I, an idiot?”

    Me: “Um—”

    Customer: “Of course you would have Mexican dancers! Are you even qualified to work here? Even a KID would know that!”

    Me: “Er… sir, are you sure you are calling the right place? THIS IS [HOME RETAIL STORE]. Let me repeat, sir. NOT MEXICO.”

    Customer: “SOMEONE NEEDS TO TEACH THIS WOMAN A LESSON ABOUT HER JOB! WHAT KIND OF EMPLOYEE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT THEIR PRODUCTS ARE?”

    (Another employee comes up to me and mouths, ‘I’ll deal with him.’)

    Employee: “Sir, what are you looking for?”

    Customer: “I’M LOOKING FOR EXOTIC MEXICAN DANCERS FOR A BACHELOR PARTY! YOUR D*** EMPLOYEE DOESN’T KNOW WHAT SHE IS DOING!”

    Employee: “Oh, I found your order. Repeat your order for me please?” *winks at me*

    Customer: “Finally! Someone who knows their job! The number is [number].”

    Employee: “Thank you for your order. For the inconvenience, you will get them free. Expect them around 6:30 pm. Enjoy your party!”

    Any Data Port In A Storm

    | Gulf Shores, AL, USA | Bizarre, Technology

    (It is shortly after a Hurricane Katrina. We caught some heavy winds and high water. The customer is in a beach-front condo. Tier one customer support has just forwarded me this customer’s ticket and call.)

    Me: “This is tier three support. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “I have a really dumb question.”

    Me: “That’s okay. I work in IT. I’m used it them.”

    Customer: “Okay. I’m in [Condo] and there’s no power. My laptop has a good battery though. Is my internet out because of the power outage?”

    Me: “Yes. Our equipment is tied into the building power. Can I ask how you’re in [Condo]? The entire first floor is blown out and under water.”

    Customer: “I stayed here during the storm. Dumbest thing I’ve ever done. I’m trapped and bored.”

    Me: “Do you need me to contact rescue?”

    Customer: “Oh, no. Thank you. They know I’m here. I waved to them this morning.”

    (I talked to the customer for another hour because neither of us were busy. I wonder how long he was trapped there. Our service didn’t restore for at least three weeks.)

    Prices To Put You In The Black

    | Denver, CO, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Money

    (I am working as a barista in the coffee kiosk in the mall. We periodically get people complaining that our prices are higher than in the regular stores. Also, there is an extremely large sign posted on the register stating that we can’t take any bills larger than $20.)

    Me: “Okay, sir, your total is $3.36.”

    Customer: *grumbles* “Your drinks are so expensive!”

    Me: “I’m sorry. We’re a franchise run through another company so our prices do average a few cents higher.”

    Customer: *still grumbling, pulls out an $100 bill and shoves it at me*

    Me: “Sir, I’m afraid we can’t take any bills larger than $20. Do you have another denomination or a card?”

    Customer: *opens wallet, pulls out a black American Express card, and hands it over grumpily while I try not to stare*

    Customer: “YOUR DRINKS ARE SO EXPENSIVE!”

    Fingers Crossed They Were Joking

    | Princeton, NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal, Wild & Unruly

    (I’m a supervisor at the store. Most shifts only have one cashier up front. I walk up to the front of the store during a closing shift.)

    Cashier: “So the customer I just finished ringing up wanted to know how many fingers I have.”

    Me: “… Sorry. What?”

    Cashier: “Yeah. That’s what I thought, too, so I asked him what he said and he asked ‘how many fingers do you have?’”

    Me: “What did you say?”

    Cashier: “I asked him why he wanted to know. He told me he needed to know how many I had before he cut them off.”

    Me: “…”

    Cashier: “I’m kind of hoping I heard him wrong. But I don’t think I want to go outside by myself after we close.”

    Me: “Yeah. We’ll leave the store together tonight, and I’ll make sure your ride’s out there before we do.”

    Cashier: “Thanks! To be honest, I’m feeling really creeped out right now!”

    Double Blush

    | AZ, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (I’m working near the fitting rooms in a department store one afternoon when an older lady approaches me.)

    Older Lady: “Hello, dear!”

    Me: “Hello! Is there anything I can help you with today?”

    Older Lady: “I was just wondering, dear: do you have naturally rosy cheeks?”

    Me: “Oh! Yes, I do.”

    Older Lady: “Oh, you’re so lucky! That means you don’t have to wear blush.”

    Me: “Aww, thank you!”

    (With a smile on her face, the older lady leaves. I wish her a nice day as she goes. Just a few seconds later, a completely different older lady appears out from between the clothes racks. She looks rather excited.)

    Older Lady #2: “Oh, hello there, sweetie! I was just wondering: do you have naturally rosy cheeks?”

    Me: “Um… Yes? Yes, I do.”

    Older Lady #2: “Oh, you’re so lucky! That means you don’t have to wear blush!”

    Me: “…”


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