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  • Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    The Currency Of Understanding

    , | Germany | Bizarre, Money, Tourists/Travel

    (The year is 2010. The euro has been introduced as a common currency throughout Europe in 2002. An elderly lady approaches me, picks some items, and wants to pay.)

    Me: “That is 28.50.”

    Elderly Lady: “Oh, so little? Are you sure?”

    (I notice her picking out some old Austrian schillings from her purse.)

    Me: “I’m sorry. ma’am. You can’t pay with those here; this is outdated currency.”

    Elderly Lady: “No, no! I have always paid with them!” *picks out some more* “Look, I have money!”

    Me: “Lady, I’m sure you have enough, but… I simply cannot accept Austrian schillings. We have the EURO.”

    Elderly Lady: “Yes, yes, I understand. You want deutschmarks? I don’t have any deutschmarks. Schillings, you take?”

    Me: *suddenly understanding* “Yes, ma’am. That would be… 280 schillings, please.”

    (I pack her things, she hands me 250 old Austrian schillings, but I go with it. She seems to have disappeared with her travel group, when a younger lady, also speaking Austrian dialect, turns up.)

    Younger Lady: “Hey, there. Did my grandmother bother you?”

    Me: “What grandmother? Do you mean…”

    Younger Lady: “Yeah, my granny. Did she try to pay with schillings?”

    Me: “In fact, she did. And I sold her something.”

    Younger Lady: “Well, you shouldn’t have sold her anything. What’s her bill?”

    Me: “28.50; but as I said, she already paid. I took her schillings. Maybe I can exchange them for something.”

    Younger Lady: “No! Give them back to me. She’ll be mad about not having them! How much did you say?”

    Me: “€28.50.”

    Younger Lady: *hands me over two 20 Euro bills* “Keep it, for goodness’ sake!”

    Me: “No way, ma’am. That’s far too much.”

    Younger Lady: “Well, then give me 10 back.”

    Me: “Fair enough; thank you.”

    (The rest of the day, I wondered why my supply of ‘free’ coffee and food worked so fine. Later on, I realized that the young lady had left some money at every booth near mine because I was so friendly to her grandmother, who suffered from Alzheimer’s, which I didn’t realize immediately. Thank you, ladies, you were amazing!)

    No Follicular Coupon Is A Folly

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (A man comes up to the pharmacy registers to purchase a bottle of hair growth product. These items come with coupons attached to the box so customers receive instant savings.)

    Customer: “I’d like to purchase this, and I have a coupon for it.”

    Me: “Excellent. I’ll ring this up for you.”

    Customer: “I also have two coupons from previous boxes that I forgot to use before but I don’t have them with me. You can just take the ten dollars off my purchase now, though.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but unfortunately I can only use one coupon per purchase of this item as it says here at the bottom of the coupon.”

    Customer: “Well, I didn’t get to use them before so I would like to use them now.”

    Me: “So you would like me to give you a discount for coupons that you do not currently have with you today?”

    Customer: “Yes. I don’t see what the problem is.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but that’s not the way it works.”

    Customer: “Well what do you expect me to do with the coupons, then?”

    Me: “Give them to your friends or relatives?”

    Customer: “They won’t use them. They have hair!”

    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 14

    | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Books & Reading

    (I’m working at the register when a regular customer (who is a man) approaches me.)

    Regular: “[My Name], I have a question for you.”

    Me: “Yeah, what is it?”

    Regular: “Um… have you read Twilight?”

    Me: “No, I haven’t actually read it.”

    Regular: “Oh, thank God! I like you.”

    Related:
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 13
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 12
    The Twilight Of Our Literacy, Part 11

    IP Address:

    Smoking Away The American Dream

    | WV, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Wild & Unruly

    (A family walks in and gets some cigarettes and snacks. They walk to their vehicle and after ten minutes, the father, who was pretty rude earlier, walks back inside.)

    Me: “Hello.”

    Customer: “I need a new pack of cigarettes.”

    Me: “Okay, sir, which kind?”

    Customer: *tells me name of the cigarettes*

    (I go to ring them up, at which point he stops me.)

    Customer: “No, no, no! I want to exchange the ones I just bought for those!”

    Me: “Okay, sir, may I have the other pack?”

    (The customer hands me the opened, and half-gone pack of cigarettes.)

    Me: “Sir, once these are opened, I am not allowed to return or exchange them.”

    Customer: *angrily* “THIS IS AMERICA!”

    (I am slightly thrown off and just stare for a moment. He widens his eyes and tilts his head forward wanting a response.)

    Me: “Sir, I know this is America, but with THAT logic, I can go to a bank, rob it, scream ‘THIS IS AMERICA,’ and run out with no repercussions. This IS most definitely America, but we have rules and policies here that we still have to follow.”

    Customer:“I have the receipt!!”

    Me: *knowing full-well he declined the receipt when I offered it to him* “Sir, even with a receipt I cannot return an opened and incomplete item to the shelf.”

    Customer: “Give me my receipt!”

    (I print it out and hand it to him. He leaves and his son enters.)

    Son: “I need to exchange these.” *lays receipt on counter*

    (At this point I am very agitated.)

    Me: “Sir, I cannot exchange or return open and incomplete items.”

    Son: “But I have a receipt!”

    Me: “Sir, I’m sorry but it doesn’t matter. The cigarettes are open and several have been taken out. All I can do is ring up a new pack.”

    Son: “Can I have my money back for these, then?”

    Me: “No, sir, the pack is opened and some are missing.”

    Son: “Well, I’ll just keep the pack. You just give me my money!”

    Me: “That’s not how this works. I can’t give you a refund and let you keep the pack. But I can’t give you a refund on incomplete and used items anyway.”

    (At this point THE WHOLE family comes in and is yelling at me in another language, screaming occasionally ‘This is America!’ and ‘I know my rights!’)

    Son: “We want to see the policy that states you can’t take these back and give us a refund.”

    Me: “It isn’t written anywhere. It’s common sense.”

    Son: “I want to speak to a manager!”

    (Only one person is on shift at a time. Managers are not on site either.)

    Me: “No managers are currently on site, sir.”

    (This is also at 12 am and we are directed to leave any complaining customers with the store phone number and a time when managers will be available.)

    Son: “Then give me their personal number!”

    Me: “At 12 am? Sir, I can guarantee if you call them at 12 am, you will not get what you are wanting. Besides, we are not allowed to give customers personal numbers. I can give you the store number and a time when a manager will be available, but that’s really all I can do.”

    Son: “I’m calling the cops, then.”

    Me: “That’s fine. Please do.”

    Son: “You are a horrible employee!”

    Me: “Tell me, would YOU buy a pack of cigarettes that was ready opened? Or want to even use a pack of cigarettes that someone you know nothing about opened and touched?”

    Son: “…no.”

    Me: “Exactly. So why would you expect someone else to do the same?”

    Son: “THIS IS AMERICA!”

    Insufficient Data To Handle Any Alternative

    | Canada | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Movies & TV, Technology

    (I work as tech support over the phone for an Internet company. I cannot get the customer’s modem back online and need to book a technician to get the service up and running. Unfortunately it’s a Friday, and the next available tech isn’t until Monday.)

    Customer: “Well, this is just great! Now I’m going to have to use my cell phone to watch movies all weekend, and that’s going to use up all my data! You need to give me a credit to cover my extra data usage!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I don’t have the ability to give you a credit for your cell phone data plan.”

    Customer: “So now I won’t have Internet all weekend, and my data’s all going to get used up to watch movies!”

    Me: “I do have you on the priority cancellation list, so they will call you if another appointment does open up before then. If it does, they’ll call you and make sure the time works for you; they won’t just come out without any notice. But of course I can’t guarantee a spot will open up.”

    Customer: “That’s great, but what about my data?”

    Me: “Well… You don’t have to watch movies on your cell phone.”

    Customer: “No, I do! I don’t have any choice! My Internet’s down so the only way I have to watch movies is on my cell!”

    Me: “No, I mean you don’t have to watch any movies.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “I mean, I understand your Internet’s not working and if you watch movies on your cell it’ll be a big hit to your data plan. But you don’t have to actually watch movies.”

    Customer: “What do you mean? I only have my cell. It’s the only connection that’s working right now.”

    Me: “You don’t have to watch movies. You could do something else.”

    Customer: “I don’t understand what you mean.”

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