October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Service With Surgical Precision

| USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(I work as technical support at a large company that sells technology into multiple markets. I am following up on a voicemail left by a potential customer. From the voicemail, I know he’s looking for a specific medical product from the company’s medical division. I also know that the rights to the specific product had been sold to another company a few years ago. I dial the number he left me so that I can give him the other company’s contact information.)

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name] from technical support at [My Company]. I’m calling to follow up with a voicemail you left with us earlier today.”

Customer: “Oh, yes, I’m so glad you got back to me!”

Me: “As it turns out, [product he is interested in] is one of the products that [My Company] sold to [Other Company] a few years ago. Would you like to take down their phone number?”

Customer: “Well, actually, I can’t right now. I’m in surgery. It’s what I do for a living. But I’m sure I’ll be able to look up [Other Company]’s phone number if I search on the Internet.”

Me: “Okay, well, I hope you have a good day and that everything turns out well.”

Customer: *cheerfully* “Oh, yes, we’re just closing up the chest now. Thanks again for calling me back!”

In Praise Of Your Baggage

| Edmonton, AB, Canada | Bizarre, Health & Body

(I work in a soap company based out of Canada, and business is usually very slow. I don’t get a lot of sleep, so I have bags under my eyes. A female, middle-aged customer walks in.)

Me: “Hello, welcome to [Store]!”

Customer: “Are you wearing eyeliner?”

Me: “No, I’m not. Why do you ask?”

Customer: “It’s just unusual to see men with eyes like yours. Are you sure you don’t wear eyeliner?”

Me: “No, I’m sure those are just bags under my eyes.”

Customer: “Oh… well, they look great!”

Me: “Thank you?”

The Times, They Are a’Changin’

| MD, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money

Me: “Your total is $4.24.”

Customer: *hands me a twenty*

Me: “Here’s your change.” *hands back $15.76* “Have a wonderful day!”

Customer: “… Didn’t I give you a five?”

Me: “I don’t think so…”

(Customer checks her pocket and pulls out the five she meant to give me.)

Me: “Doesn’t this usually happen the other way around?”

A Bad Case Of Adamantium Confusion

| Newcastle upon Tyne, England, UK | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

(My coworker goes to see a 94-year-old patient who had been confused overnight.)

Coworker: “Good morning, Mr. [Patient]. How are you today?”

Patient: *in a very measured voice* “Terrible, doctor. The professor saw me earlier and implicitly told me I am a wolverine. I’m afraid with this news I need to leave.”

Coworker: “I see. You’ve been a bit poorly so should probably stay in hospital for now.”

Patient: “Oh, but doctor, if you can guarantee I am NOT a wolverine, I’d feel ever so relieved.”

Coworker: *poker faced* “I can guarantee you are NOT a wolverine.”

Getting Belongings Where You Don’t Belong

| NY, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(A woman approaches my register and slams a pile of clothes on the counter.)

Me: “Did you find everything okay?”

Customer: *giggles* “Yep. This trip was a steal!”

Me: “Well, we all get lucky, I guess.”

(One of the items doesn’t seem to have a price tag on it, so I ask her where she found it. She points at the back of the store. )

Customer: “It was in that side room you guys have.”

Me: *confused* “Side room? What are you talking about?

Customer: “That’s where you keep all the good stuff, right? There was a really cute scarf in there, too.”

(One of my coworkers, who is leaving for her lunch break, approaches the counter.)

Coworker: “Have you seen my scarf?”

Me: “What does it look like?”

Coworker: “It’s black, with pink stripes.”

(I hold up a scarf from the pile.)

Me: “This one?”

Coworker: “Yeah, where’d you find it?”

Me: *suddenly realizing what’s going on* “Ma’am, did you go into our staff room?”

Customer: “The side room? Yeah. That’s where I got this coat!”

(She holds up my coworker’s coat. I don’t know how, but she managed to open a locked room, with no one noticing, and took our stuff!)

Me: “Ma’am, these are not for sale. They’re our belongings.”

Customer: “You’re lying! You just want these for yourself!”

(She begins throwing clothes at me, knocking over racks, and making a mess of the store before running out and yelling about how our store is robbing their customers. She didn’t even buy anything!)

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