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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Un-bare-ably Competitive

    | Chicago, IL, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Rude & Risque

    (It’s the end of the day at the grocery deli. Most of the other customers have left. I am just about to start closing up when a last customer walks up. He is wearing oversized glasses and mismatched clothing, as if he hasn’t done his laundry in a while.)

    Customer: “Hey, you closing up?”

    Me: “I’ve got enough time for ya! What do you need?”

    (He orders and I begin preparing it.)

    Customer: “So, how is that job?”

    Me: “Nothing really to complain about, other than the occasional weird customer—”

    Customer: “You know, I’m pretty weird! You want to see how weird I am?”

    Me: “No, sir, that’s all right, I was just—”

    (The customer proceeds to pull down his pants right in the middle of the store and does a little victory pose. I’m so dumbfounded I almost cut myself on the slicer.)

    Customer: *pulling his pants up* “I bet you haven’t met anyone weirder than that yet, have ya?!”

    Me: “No, sir, I most definitely have not.”

    No Manners For Minions

    | Colorado, USA | Bizarre

    (Although it’s my first day at my job in the grocery department, I used to work in customer service in the same store. There’s a particular customer who often visited me in customer service. I fixed his transactions many times before and he has been nothing but nice. As I’m walking around putting stock in the aisles, this same customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “Do you have split peas?”

    Me: “What kind are you looking for? I believe we have some one aisle over with the canned food. We also have frozen peas with the frozen vegetables.”

    Customer: “Okay, thanks.”

    (A little while later, the original customer finds me.)

    Customer: “I just want to let you know I found dry split peas in the same aisle we were talking in, on the lowest shelf. You don’t know your job.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, it’s my first day and I’m still learning.”

    Customer: “WELL, YOU SHOULDN’T BE ALLOWED TO THINK! You should know where everything is before they hire idiots like you!”

    Knowing Is Half The Battle, Part 2

    | Michigan, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    Me: “Hello! How are you today?”

    Customer: “I don’t know…”

    Me: “Well, is there anything I can help you find?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    (There’s a long pause.)

    Me: “…Is there a specific style you’re looking for?”

    Customer: “I don’t know…”

    Me: “Maybe a color?”

    Customer: “I don’t know…”

    Me: “What size?”

    Customer: “I don’t know…”

    Me: “Um, I can’t help you unless you give me something to go on.”

    Customer: *dejectedly* “Okay.” *leaves*

    Boss: “What just happened?”

    Me: “I don’t know…”

    Related:
    Knowing Is Half The Battle

    Weekend Roundup: You Drive Me Crazy

    , , , , | Not Always Right | Bizarre, Roundups

    Your Drive Me Crazy! This week, we share five stories of customers who drive employees nuts—and the brave workers who are driven to serve them just the same!

    1. Drive Hoo:
      Woohoo! Drive-thru customers can really drive you crazy!
    2. Preserving Life, 1-Up At A Time:
      Proof that Pokémon-players take “Gotta Catch ‘Em All” VERY seriously.
    3. Copycats…and Copy Dogs, Copy Sheep…:
      A customer wanting to clone his dog? Just another day at the bookstore!
    4. That Was Random:
      One coffee shop customer takes a random walk on the weird side.
    5. We Can Thank Hollywood And “Hacker” Films For This:
      Tech support can fix your hard drive, but not the car you drive!

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news galore!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    Thank You Sir Cussalot

    | Nottingham, UK | Bizarre

    Me: “Hello, you’re through to the benefits department. My name is [name]. How can I help you?”

    Caller: *calmly* “Hi, yeah, I called up a minute ago, but I didn’t have my account details with me.”

    Me: “Okay, well if I could just take your details then please, sir, I’ll pull up your records.”

    Caller: “Sir?! How dare you f***ing call me sir?! I’ve never been so f***ing insulted in my life! Who on earth do you think you are, you f***ing b****?!”


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