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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    A Pack Of The Clones

    | UK | Bizarre, Top

    (Instead of having a definite job role I am just expected to help out wherever the restaurant is short. On this day, I have been cleaning.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, could you tell me where your toilets are?”

    Me: “Just through there, sir. Just give me a moment to get the cleaning stuff out of there.”

    (I clear the toilet and leave. On my way downstairs, I am asked to open the bar up for the customers. I change and do so.)

    Same Customer: “Oh, weren’t you just upstairs?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. Can I get you anything?”

    Same Customer: *nervous look* “Uh, I’ll just have a coffee. I’m sitting over there…”

    (After serving, I change again and start waiting tables.)

    Me: “Hello again. Can I take your order?”

    Same Customer: *upset* No…no…I think I’ll have to leave…”

    Me: “Are you okay, sir?”

    Same Customer: “I can’t eat in a place that employs CLONES! CLONES! CLONES EVERYWHERE!” *leaves*

    The Diva Is Always Right

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Bizarre, Hotels & Lodging

    (At the hotel where I work, we’ve had an influx of stolen credit cards and IDs recently. So, my manager is very strict about only allowing valid state issued ID. A guest calls in one night.)

    Guest: “I’m over here at [another hotel chain]. I just flew in from Spain, but my purse got stolen and this jacka*** won’t let me get a room! I don’t mean to brag, but I’m a millionaire. Can I check in at your hotel instead?”

    Me: “Not without a valid state issued ID, ma’am.”

    Guest: “Oh, so I guess I’m going to have to buy your hotel as well?! You’d better watch out, b****, because I’m going to buy your hotel! You’ve just pissed off THE DIVA! You’ve just been DIVAFIED!” *hangs up*

    Rooted In Anger

    | Illinois, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Wild & Unruly

    (Note: My hair is a darker shade of auburn and I am often asked it’s natural, which it is. A seemingly normal woman comes up to the register.)

    Me: “Is this all today, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Oh, my! Is that your actual hair color?”

    Me: “Oh, yes, it is.”

    Customer: “It’s not fair! IT MAKES ME WANT TO RIP YOUR EYEBALLS OUT!”

    The Costumer Is Always Right

    | California, USA | Bigotry, Bizarre, Religion

    (It’s a few days before Halloween, and I’m a customer waiting for my sister to pick out a Halloween costume at a popular party store. An elderly customer approaches me. Note: I am a goth, but also a Christian.)

    Customer: “Do you know where the boy’s birthday decorations are?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I don’t work here. I wouldn’t know.”

    Customer: “But you’re with the store. You’re in a costume.”

    (I look around at the other employees, all of which are wearing bright green vests, name tags, and silly hats. Then, I realize she is referring to my black jacket and large black boots.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, I really don’t work here. These are my normal clothes. I’m a goth; I’m not in costume.”

    Customer: *visibly afraid* “Don’t put a curse on me! I know your type! You do that voodoo, and you hate Jesus!” *runs out of the store*

    Me: *speechless*

    Well-To-Do, If A Bit Daffy

    | USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals, Top

    (A well-dressed woman enters the store and hands me a note.)

    Customer: “Could you get this order ready for me, please? I’ll be back in ten minutes.”

    (I look at the note, but it’s blank.)

    Me: “There is nothing written on this note.”

    Customer: “Well, I decided to surprise myself today with my purchases.”

    Me: “Okay…that’s new, but I’ll see what I can do!”

    (Ten minutes later, she returns.)

    Customer: “So, what did I buy today?”

    Me: *hands her a bag* “Three pounds of bread crust to feed the ducks in the park. They are free of charge.”

    Customer: *surprised* “Oh! I was planning to go to the hairdresser, but this is…DUCKS, YOU SAY? Well, off to the park, then! Goodbye!”


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