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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    The Fringes Of Sanity

    | London, England, UK | Bizarre

    (I am shaving my head in public for charity at a school fair. Because my hair is too long to shave straight off, anyone at the fair can pay £1 to chop a chunk of my hair off, putting said hair in a bucket afterwards. A man walks into the fair, sees my stall, and makes a beeline for it.)

    Me: “Hello! I’m raising money for charity. Would you like to cut a lump of my hair off for £1? It’s all being shaved at 9pm.”

    Man: *smiles, says nothing, and puts £1 on the table*

    Me: “Great, here are the scissors.”

    Man: *takes the scissors and cuts some of my hair*

    Me: “Nice one! If you’d just like to put the hair in the bucket ove—”

    Man: *smiles, looks at my newly cut hair, and walks out of the fair with it*

    Me: *speechless*

    An Offer Of Fruitcake

    | Kent, England, UK | Bizarre

    Customer: “Can I borrow a pen?”

    Coworker: “Yeah, sure.”

    (My coworker hands the customer a pen, and she goes back to her table. However, she returns a few minutes later.)


    (She throws it hard at my co worker. Turns out she hadn’t taken the lid off. Half an hour later, she approaches another coworker.)

    Customer: “Why should I have to queue? I have already done so once!”

    Coworker #2: “Because that’s what you have to do in civilised society.”

    (The customer queues and buys a piece of cake, then walks into the stock area out back, with PRIVATE written on the door, to find my co worker.)

    Customer: “I’m sorry for shouting. Please take this cake.”

    Coworker #2: “Sorry, I can’t. We aren’t allowed to eat on duty.”


    (While this is going on someone calls the shopping center security. They come remove her from the entire shopping center. Later on that day, she comes back for one last salvo.)


    Don’t Fold Under Pressure

    | UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (I work in a local bookshop that was recently taken over by a large chain store. Because of this, the manager is often in the other shop down the road, as they trust me to be able to handle anything. This shop also sells items for gift wrapping.)

    Customer: “I have looked everywhere for your christening gift wrap. I find it disgusting that you don’t carry any. Get me your manager.”

    Me: “I apologise, but I’m currently the only worker in the store. I’m sure we carry gift wrap for christening. Have you checked down the isle to your left?”

    (The customer angrily goes to look. She comes back with some gift wrap mumbling about how I should be fired for being alone.)

    Customer: “This one says ‘new baby’. That’s basically the same thing as christening, right?”

    Me: “Uh, sure. Would you like this rolled or folded?”

    Customer: “Ugh. You and your questions. Just roll it!”

    (I begin to roll it.)

    Customer: “No, no! What are you doing?! Are you deaf? I said fold.”

    Me: “…of course, ma’am. I apologise.” *begins to gently fold it*

    Customer: “No, no! What are you doing?! Don’t fold it. You’ll crease the paper. Then what will the baby think?! Give it here, I’ll do it myself!”

    Me: “I apologise for creasing the paper. Here you go…”

    Customer: *aggressively folds the paper anyway and leaves*

    Makes You Want To Dye A Little, Part 4

    | Greeley, CO, USA | Bizarre

    (I am known at my job for having interesting colored hair. I had it purple for about two months before I changed it to black with purple streaks. It is now a lot more subtle, and I really like it.)

    Customer: “What did you do to your hair!?”

    Me: “I dyed it.”

    Customer: “No, you ruined it! I come in here all the time and I loved to look over and see your funky hair! It made me long for my wild days when I used to do crank. You just ruined my life!”

    (I am speechless, and trying to ring her up as quick as possible. At this point, my wonderful manager comes over.)

    Customer: “Do you have kids?!”

    Me: “Uh… no.”

    Manager: “I do.”

    Customer: *to my manager* “You lie to your kids! Santa isn’t real! My kids knew the truth! There is only Jesus! And drugs aren’t bad! You lie to kids!”

    (She grabs her things and leaves in a huff.)

    Me: *to my manager* “What the h*** was that?!”

    Makes You Want To Dye A Little, Part 3
    Makes You Want To Dye A Little, Part 2
    Makes You Want To Dye A Little

    H2-Woah, Part 2

    | London, UK | Bizarre, Money

    Me: “Hey, what can I get you?”

    Customer: “I would like two bottles of water, please.”

    (I give the water to the customer.)

    Me: “That’s £5 please.”

    Customer: “Excuse me? How much?”

    Me: “£2.50 each, so £5.”

    Customer: “That’s disgusting. How do you get away with charging that much for water? I am only willing to pay 50p for both as it’s only bottled tap water.”

    Me: “It’s not tap water; it’s mineral water. Tap water is free if you want it.”

    (The customer hands me £10.)

    Customer: “I expect £9.50 change as I’m not paying that much.”

    (I hand the customer £5 change.)

    Me: “No, it’s £5 change.”

    Customer: “I’m just f***ing with you. You’re just so beautiful I thought you deserved some abuse!”


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