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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    His Story Isn’t Rat-ified

    | Boston, MA, USA | Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal, Hotels & Lodging, Pets & Animals, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I am waiting to check in to a small hotel. When I walk up to the front desk, the concierge is answering the phone. The speaker is loud enough that I can follow most of the conversation.)

    Concierge: “Hello, front desk.”

    Caller: “There’s a squirrel in my room!”

    Concierge: “A squirrel in your room? Please be careful, sir. We’ll send someone along right away to remove it.”

    Caller: “Better hurry, it’s a big one! It opened the window!”

    Concierge: “Sorry, did you say the squirrel was able to open the window?”

    Caller: “Yeah, with its little hands!”

    Concierge: “You should leave your room right now and we’ll send someone along.”

    Concierge: *over the radio* “Security to room [number] to remove a squirrel, please.”

    (I check in. As I do so, the concierge is very flustered and apologetic about the squirrel issue.)

    Security: *radio* “Uh, front desk, this ain’t a squirrel.”

    Concierge: “What? What is it?”

    Security: “A raccoon. And the windows sealed shut.”

    (My spouse works in animal control and I know we’re in an area that has a rabies problem, so I feel the need to speak up.)

    Me: “There’s a rabies risk here, so you should really call animal control.”

    Concierge: “Okay, I’m gonna—”

    Security: “Also, this guy’s drunk as s***, and he’s telling me the raccoon is his pet cat.”

    Concierge: “F*** it. I’m calling the cops.”

    (Luckily, the raccoon was healthy, but the unfortunate hotel guest was deemed drunk, disorderly, and in possession of a local zoo’s stolen raccoon!)

    Wasteland Not, Want Not

    | Ottawa, Canada | Bizarre

    Me: “…and would you like to put a three year warranty on this product? It protects it with us so you don’t have to deal with the manufacturer. ”

    Man: “Three years? I only plan on using this until December!”

    Me: “Oh, okay. Are you moving or something?”

    Man: “Uh, no. Didn’t you hear? The world is going to end in December. Your warranty is useless! You’re just trying to get more money out of me while we still have a system of value! I see what you’re doing!”

    Me: *speechless*

    Man: “You won’t survive long in the wasteland.”

    Me: “Uh huh. You have a nice day, sir.”

    Be The Change You Wish To See

    | Rochester, NH, USA | Bizarre, Money

    Me: *ringing up a customer’s items* “How are you doing today?”

    Customer: “That milk was supposed to be $1.79, not $1.89.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Let me have someone run a price check on that.”

    (My coworker comes over and takes the milk to check the price.)

    Coworker: “He is correct; the milk is $1.79.”

    Me: “Thank you.” *reduces price on milk* “Alright, sir. That’ll be $4.75.”

    (The customer hands me a five dollar bill and starts walking away.)

    Me: “Sir, did you want your change?!”

    Customer: “Nope!” *walks off*

    The Lamp Isn’t The Only Thing That Needs Rewiring

    | VA, USA | Bizarre, Wild & Unruly

    (A tweaker-looking kid comes up to my cash register holding an old lamp that clearly needs professional rewiring. I am no electrician; I’m merely a cashier.)

    Customer: “Do you sell a cord that plugs into this to make it work?”

    (I look closely at the lamp.)

    Me: “I see that it has no place to plug any modern cord. You will need to speak with someone in the electrical department for help with rewiring it.”

    Customer: *bursts into a sing-song yell* “I wish you knew how to do your d*** job!”

    (He then runs off in circles, drops some merchandise and heads for the exit.)

    Customer: “Kiss my royal f***ing a**!”

    Me: “Just leave. Go away. Don’t come back again!”

    (The boy continues swearing and flipping the bird. He has to be escorted out. My manager approaches me.)

    Manager: “Is it a full moon?”

    (Later on, a coworker from the electrical department comes up to the manager.)

    Coworker: “Did you see a dirty guy with a brass lamp? He just hit me and called me a monkey while I was with a customer!”

    Going Overboard With The Engagement Ring

    | NY, USA | Bizarre, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I work on a tour boat in New York. Some friends are on my tour. My partner of 6 years asked me to marry him yesterday, so I am excitedly showing my friends my breathtaking new engagement ring. An elderly lady has been glaring at us while I talk to them.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, can I get anything for you?”

    Lady: “Did you say you’re getting married?!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am! I’m so excited!”

    Lady: “You’re too young to get married!”

    (Suddenly, the lady grabs my hand and rips my ring off my finger. Before anyone can do anything, she flings my ring overboard. I am in total shock while my friend screams at the lady.)

    My Friend: “She’s 28!”

    Lady: *suddenly all smiles* “Oh! That’s alright then. I’ll have a Coke. Thank you, dear!”

    (I now have a new ring, but I never wear it to work.)

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