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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Tastefully Talking Turkey

    | Minneapolis, MN, USA | Bizarre, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (I am in line waiting to be checked out for some items. The customer ahead of me has paid for his merchandise. As he takes his change he strikes up a conversation between himself and the young female clerk.)

    Customer: “I was wondering, are you going to be open on Thanksgiving? I know some stores are starting to do that.”

    Clerk: *sighs* “Yes, sir. We’re open until 8 pm.”

    Customer: “Well, that’s certainly some bull-s*** right there!”

    Clerk: *laughing* “I’m not allowed to comment, sir.”

    Customer: “Well, I am. Please tell your boss you got some resoundingly negative feedback from a customer over that. And, while you’re at it, tell him the same customer gave you a resoundingly POSITIVE feedback on your service. You’re a very nice young lady. I hope you prosper in life.”

    (The customer then walks out, leaving the clerk and I to look at each other in mutual confusion.)

    Clerk: “Well, that apparently just happened.”

    Not Getting The Message, Part 2

    | Sioux Falls, SD, USA | Bizarre, Money, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Bank]. How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “My bank called and left a message for me to call them back. Should I call them back?”

    Me: “Well, that is completely up to you.”

    Customer: “Why are they calling?”

    Me: “I’m afraid that I work in a call center and not at your branch bank. I do not know why they’re calling you.”

    Customer: “Hmm.”

    (There is a prolonged moment of silence.)

    Customer: “In your opinion, what do you think they might have wanted?”

    Me: “I’m afraid I don’t know that. If you’re curious, I would suggest calling them back.”

    Customer: “Is that your opinion on what I should do?”

    Me: “Only if you’re curious.”

    Customer: “Well, I am.”

    Me: “Then, it seems like it is settled.”

    Customer: “So you think I should call them back.”

    (This back-and-forth goes on for 12 minutes.)

    Me: “Again, I don’t know why they are calling. If you want to know, you can call them. If you do not want to know, you should not call them.”

    Customer: “Okay. I’ll think about it. Thank you. Bye.”

    Me: “Have a good day, sir.”

    Not Getting The Message

    Got Her Cables Crossed

    , | New York, NY, USA | Bizarre, Movies & TV, Theme Of The Month

    (I am an assistant manager in the box office of an exhibition space in Times Square. This exhibition space has many investors. One is a popular cable television network from which the space took its name. A relatively normal-looking customer approaches my window.)

    Me: “Hello! How can I help you?”

    (The customer pauses, looking nervous.)

    Me: “Did you have any questions about the exhibit?”

    Customer: “Um, yes.”

    Me: “Okay… go ahead.”

    Customer: “YES! I was wondering why you took away my [aforementioned cable network] channel. I can’t understand why you would do that. My children and I really enjoyed learning about the things that we saw. It was good!”

    Me: “Ah, I see. Well, even though [cable network] is our namesake, we’re not at all affiliated with their programming. I’m sorry. I would recommend calling your cable provider to see if there were any changes in your service.”

    Customer: “No, but yes, but NO. I can’t understand why you would do this! Because you see it’s my CHILDREN. It was something that we enjoyed TOGETHER.”

    Me: “Yeah. I hear ya. Unfortunately, that’s not us. We’re a museum space.”

    Customer: “Is this because of Oprah?”

    Me: “So, I… what?”

    Customer: “OPRAH. I know she was changing some things around.”

    Me: “Uh…”

    Customer: “I can’t believe you took this away from my children just because Oprah told you to.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can assure you that we have nothing whatsoever to do with Oprah.”

    Customer: *turning to leave* “I just can’t believe Oprah would do this to her black brothers and sisters. They were LEARNING.”

    Me: “Um, right. You have a great night.”

    Customer: *turning and yelling from across the lobby* “So this wasn’t the place?”

    Me: “This was not the place.”

    A Price For The Devil To Pay, Part 2

    | CT, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money, Religion, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a store as the main cashier.)

    Me: “Okay, your total comes to $6.66. Wow, you’re one unlucky person.”

    Customer: “$6.66!? I REFUSE TO PAY! YOU’RE A DEVIL! YOU PUT A CURSE ON ME. HOW DARE YOU DO THAT TO ME!” *storms out of the store yelling prayers*

    A Price For The Devil To Pay

    Mad As A Hater

    | Spearfish, SD, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m working at a big box store as a cashier. There are two cashiers up front. I’m at register #2 and a coworker is at #4, so there is a register in between us. A customer walks up to register #3. My supervisor tells the lady she can either go to register #2 or register #4.)

    Customer: “I hate Obama! I just want you all to know that.”

    (The customer huffs and goes to my register.)

    Me: “Hi there! Do you have a rewards card?”

    Customer: “I don’t trust credit cards. I pay only in cash.”

    Me: “Well, it’s not a credit ca—”

    Customer: “I don’t trust companies! Don’t you worry about me. I will just pay cash.”

    Me: “Alright…”

    (I proceed to ring up her items.)

    Customer: “You know you can only get boy tank tops?! I don’t wear bras! I never have, only when I was breastfeeding.”

    Me: “Yeah. Unfortunately for women you have to buy separate tank tops.”

    Customer: “I’ve never liked girls. I only had boys.”

    Me: “Ah, okay. Today your total is [total].”

    Customer: “And you know what? I hate Martha Stewart. She is a royal b****!”

    (All I can do is laugh awkwardly and give the customer her change and receipt.)

    Me: “Well, have a nice day.”

    Customer: “And those Kardashian girls. They are so FAKE!”

    (The customer crumples up her receipt and throws it at me. She storms away. The other cashier and my supervisor just stare at me. We are all stunned.)

    Me: “Did that really just happen?”

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