Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

The Refund Is The Icing On The Cake

| MS, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

(It’s the last Friday before Christmas and I have just made the final closing announcements.  A woman and her granddaughter walk in with one minute on the clock to do a return.)

Customer: *reading from receipt* “If you are dissatisfied with your purchase please return the item with this receipt for a refund.”

(I look in the box, and immediately call for a manager. The contents? An open bag of modeling clay and a brand name cake decorating icing tip.)

Me: “I’m sorry; I’ll need a manager to approve this return.”

Customer: *repeats previous statement several times*

Me: *smiles awkwardly*

(When my manager finally arrives, she is as shocked as I am, and hesitant to do the return.)

Customer: *raises voice* “I demand a full refund! The clay wouldn’t pipe like icing!”

Me: *reciting from back of receipt* “We reserve the right to research and refuse any return.”

Customer: “Why would you refuse it!?! I’m not happy with it so you have to return it.”

Me: “You mixed modeling clay with a cake decorating tip!”

Customer: “So?!”

Manager: “I’ll return the clay, but not the tip. You don’t have the original packing for it anyway.”

Customer: “This is ridiculous! Fine!! But I want your corporate number!”

(Not the weirdest return I’ve been forced to do, but probably the most insulting.)

Makes You Wish You Could Crawl Into A Sleeping Bag And Die

| Cambridge, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Crazy Requests

(I’m working a full day in a well-known camping shop. Due to thefts, we always have to have at least one staff member on the ground floor at all times. My manager has just called me down so she can go down to the footwear department and deal with a return. I’m alone on the shop floor, when a man comes down the stairs, looking irritated.)

Customer: “Excuse me, young lady, but NONE of your sleeping bags have any kind of information or prices on them!”

Me: “Oh, yes, I am sorry, sir. The new display tags came in today, and the prices are act—”

Customer: “I don’t want your excuses! I want you to fix it!”

Me: “I can’t currently leave this floor, sir, but the tags that headquarters sent us are actually wrong, so we can’t put them on the display.”

Customer: “Well, what are you going to do about it?”

Me: “If you tell me what you were interested in, I can look on the system and give you more information about it?”

Customer: “Well, I didn’t want to BUY one! Just fix it!”

Providing Unique Lip Service

| Longmont, CO, USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

(I work at a large store that sells nothing but beauty items for women.)

Customer: “I have a very weird question for you.”

Me: “Yay! Those are my favorite kind of questions!”

Customer: “I need very small, very sharp scissors.”

Me: “Well, that’s not weird at all. Let me show you where our cuticle and nail scissors are; that’s exactly what you’re looking for.”

Customer: “I haven’t told you what I need them for. I need to cut the lips off my fish.”

(I stop dead in my tracks, thinking I couldn’t possibly have heard her correctly. I give her a puzzled look.)

Customer: “That’s right. I need tiny scissors to cut the lips off my fish.”

Me: “…”

Customer: “I have an Angel fish with a large pucker, and she’s my pride and joy. She developed a cancerous growth on her lips. The vet wants an outrageous amount of money to remove it. He said if I wanted, and was brave enough, I could cut off her lips myself.”

(I try to keep my composure, relay my sympathy, and show her the selection of tiny scissors. She makes her decision, and I take her to the register.)

Me: “I wish you luck with your fish!”

Customer: “Thank you, I need it. By the way, do you happen to know a close-by liquor store? I don’t usually drink, but I may need a glass of wine before my adventure!”

(Luckily there was a liquor store nearby. I thanked her for asking the weirdest question I have ever heard in my many years in retail. She laughed and said no one was going to believe me. I hope her fish is okay!)

I Can Put On My Own Pants And Everything

| Buffalo, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Underaged

(A customer comes in to buy a pack of cigarettes. He looks under-age.)

Me: “Can I see some ID please?”

Customer: “I don’t have to show ID. C’mon, I’m wearing snowpants!”

(Ironically enough there was a young boy about four-years-old standing in line behind him wearing… snowpants.)

Needs A Taste Of Common Sense

| WI, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

(A table orders a bottle of wine, so I go over to open it in front of them, let them taste it, and pour it for them. It’s standard procedure when you order a whole bottle.)

Me: *after opening the bottle* “So, who would like to taste it?”

Woman: *snaps* “Well, you already opened it so I guess we’ll just have it.”

Me: *pours their glasses and leaves while wondering how she expected to taste it without me opening the bottle*

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