Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Accenting The Listening Problem

, | WA, USA | Bizarre, Language & Words

(I’m working in the drive-thru and taking orders. Note: I have no accent and I’m frequently complimented on how clearly I speak in the drive-thru.)

Me: “Hi would you like to try our new sandwich?”

Customer: “ENGLISH!”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “Oh, you do speak English.”

Me: “Yes, sir, I’ve been speaking English this entire time.”

Customer: “I thought you were speaking another language.”

Been Called All The Names In The Hundred-Acre Wood

| Jackson, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink, Language & Words

(I have have been called just about every name in the book. I am refusing to sell beer to a customer who is too drunk.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, you’re just too intoxicated and I can’t let you have it.”

Drunk: “I’m not driving so what the f*** is your problem, fat-a**!”

Me: “I’m sorry; can’t do it.”

Drunk: “Come on, man. I won’t tell.”

Me: *being very nice as it does really bug them when I don’t get mad* “Sorry, guy, still can’t sell.”

Drunk: *getting REALLY UPSET* “You know what you are? You’re a Pooh butt! You’re a Winnie the Pooh butt!”

(I’ve heard everything but not that, so I started laughing really hard which got him more and more upset. I told him that was the funniest thing I had ever been called and he got REALLY mad and just walked out.)

All Smoke, No Mirrors

| Chicago, IL, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Hotels & Lodging, Technology

(A guest I checked in less than two hours ago is walking up to the front desk with all her luggage, ready to leave.)

Me: “How may I help you?”

Guest: “I want to check out!”

Me: “Is everything all right? I see you are checking out early.”

Guest: “I don’t want to talk about it; I want a receipt stating that I have a zero balance.”

Me: “All right, one moment. Let me get your receipt out of the back. My printer is down.”

(I come back a few seconds later with her receipt.)

Me: “Are you sure everything is all right? You seem upset and I don’t want you leaving upset.”

Guest: “Yes, actually, you can tell your people I do not appreciate them recording me while I am sleeping!”

Me: “I’m sorry, what do you mean?”

Guest: “There was a little red light flashing above my bed!”

Me: “Oh! You mean the smoke detector. That isn’t a recording device.”

Guest: “You don’t think I know the difference between a smoke detector and a recording device?! I know that if there is a blinking red that means the camera is on and recording! So please delete any footage you have of me.”

Me: “Ma’am, I am really sorry. I promise you we do not have recording devices in our guests rooms. It honestly was a smoke detector.”

Guest: “IT WAS NOT A SMOKE DETECTOR!”

This Caller Needs To Be Sectioned

| OH, USA | Bizarre

(I work in one of the three support sections with similar names in a large company that works to ensure records and documents are correctly maintained for employees.)

Me: “[Section A], [My Name] speaking. How may I help you?”

Caller: “Yes, I would like to get a new ID.”

Me: “Okay, ma’am, that would be [Section B]. I can transfer you to them now.”

Caller: “What? I thought [Section A] did that.”

Me: “No, that’ll be [Section B].”

Caller: “Wait, so what do you do?”

Me: “We maintain your current and past records.”

Caller: “I thought that would was [Section C]!”

Me: “No, they work with section transfers and inventory.”

Caller: “So… what does [Section B] do?”

Me: “…what you are asking for?”

Caller: “Oh! Okay, I’ll call them!”

(She hangs up on me and moments later calls back.)

Caller: “Hi, I’d like to get a new ID card.”

Me: “…ma’am, this is [Section A] again.”

Caller: “But I pressed three on the robot phone voice!”

Me: “That is for us.”

Caller: “Then what’s the extension for [Section B]?!”

Me: “That’ll be extension seven, ma’am.”

Caller: “Why did it tell me to press three then?!”

Me: “I’ve literally called our line yesterday, ma’am, and it tells you we are three and [Section B] is seven.”

Caller: “It was three last I checked! You should check again!”

Me: “Ma’am, is wasn’t three for a few months now and they updated the automated message.”

Caller: “Well, it didn’t inform me of any change!”

Me: “One of the first things it says is ‘please listen carefully, as some of the options have changed.'”

Customer: “THIS IS STUPID! JUST TRANSFER ME TO [Section A]!”

Me: “Ma’am, this is [Section A]. You want—”

Caller: “YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT! I DON’T CARE WHICH ONE IS WHICH OR WHAT THEY DO! JUST SEND ME WHEREVER SO I CAN GET A NEW ID!”

Me: “One moment, ma’am.”

(I transfer her to the correct section and sit back in my chair with a sigh as a coworker walks by.)

Me: “I… am NOT… paid enough for this…”

Coworker: “Welcome to [Section A].”

Just Called To Say I Called

| NJ, USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month

(My coworker has been on the phone for about five minutes before handing it to me.)

Coworker: *on the phone* “Can you hold on just one second?” *to me* “Hey, can you deal with this?”

Me: “Hi, this is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hello!”

Me: “…hello.”

Customer: “How are you doing?”

Me: “I’m doing well. How are you?”

Customer: “Good, thanks for asking. So what are you up to?”

Me: “You know, just working.”

Customer: “Good, good.”

Me: “Yeah, it’s kind of busy right now, so I better get back to it.”

Customer: “Oh, don’t let me keep you. Have a good day!”

Me: “Thanks, you too.”

Coworker: “So was it just me or was that weird?”

Me: “No, no, that was very weird.”

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