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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    It’s All Peachy

    , | St. Paul, MN, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Spouses & Partners

    (I work as a sales associate at a large chain bath product store that caters mostly to women. I am stationed at the front of the store, greeting customers and handing out shopping bags. A huge, tough-looking man walks into the store and looks around awkwardly. He looks like a motorcycle gang member from a movie: tattoos, leather, and a bandanna.)

    Me: “Hi! Welcome to [Store]. I’m [Name]. Can I help you find anything today?”

    Customer: *shifts uncomfortably* “Yeah, I need lotion and shower gel.”

    (I knew he felt as out of place as he looked so rather than just pointing, I walk him over to the largest display of bath products.)

    Me: “Are you shopping for someone special?”

    Customer: “Yeah. Me.”

    (He was pointedly not making eye contact with me so I allowed myself a split-second look of shock.)

    Customer: *mutters* “My girlfriend likes it when I smell like a peach.”

    (Needless to say, I walked around the entire store with him. I even introduced him to some new fruity fragrances!)

    Loud And Clear-ly Annoying

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Family & Kids

    (I am a part time clerk assisting my manager on register during the morning rush. The next customer in line is a middle aged woman and her son who looks to be around eight.)

    Me: “Good morning. Is this all for you?”

    Boy: *yelling loudly* “GOOD MORNING, SIR. YOU’RE DOING A WONDERFUL JOB!”

    Me: “Well, thank you.”

    Boy: “SAY WHAT DID YOU SAY?”

    Me: “Um… thank you?”

    Boy: “SAY WHAT DID YOU SAY?”

    Me: *realizing the kid isn’t asking for me to repeat myself but giving a command* “Okay, what did you say?”

    Boy: *even louder* “GOOD MORNING, SIR. YOU’RE DOING A WONDERFUL JOB!”

    (My manager and several of the customers are looking our way, obviously annoyed with the boy. I tell the customer her total and she goes to pay.)

    Boy: “ARE YOU EVER GOING TO GET A REAL CAREER OR ARE YOU GOING TO TAKE TRASH OUT ALL YOUR LIFE?”

    (I blink and am at a total loss for words. Several other customers’ jaws drop and my manager is trying to keep from laughing.)

    Customer: “Oh, my goodness, I am so sorry! I can’t believe…”

    Boy: “GOOD MORNING, SIR. YOU’RE DOING A WONDERFUL JOB!”

    When Customer Service Mutates Into Something Else

    , | NC, USA | Bizarre, Geeks Rule, Pets & Animals

    Me: “My name is [Name]. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “One moment, please.”

    Me: “Let me know if you have any questions.”

    Customer: “What came first the chicken or the egg?”

    Me: “The egg. So the chick could hatch.”

    Customer: “Where did the egg come from then?”

    Me: *shrugs* “Mutant ostrich.”

    Following Blind Orders

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I work in internal computer support. One afternoon I get a call from an older gentleman.)

    Me: “[Company] help desk. How can I help you?”

    Caller: “Make the information available. Do it.”

    Me: “What information do you need?”

    Caller: “Just do it!”

    Me: “I’m sorry; I need a little more context here. What are you calling about?”

    Caller: “The email said to call you and make the information available so I am calling you!”

    Me: “The information about what? What email are you referring to? What is the topic?”

    Caller: “I have no idea. I was just following orders!” *hangs up*

    Making A Queer Choice

    | NM, USA | Bizarre, Language & Words

    (I work in a call center. I am asking a customer to read out a serial number phonetically.)

    Customer: “…Q as in ‘Queer.’”

    (The customer passes for a moment.)

    Customer: “I’m sorry; I don’t know if that was politically correct. It means other things, right?”

    Me: *trying not to laugh* “Yes, sure. I can assure you it means other things.”

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