Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

Not-So-Smart TV

| TN, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre

(I work for a popular electronics store. A customer comes in looking for a [Brand #1] TV. Another associate brings up the TV to customer service for me to ring out. She decides to sign up for our store credit-card to get a discount.)

Me: “I’ll just need you to enter you social on the pin pad.”

Customer: “Okay.” *enters social*

Me: “All right, now it’s going to ask for your yearly income.”

Customer: “Oh, no, I’m not doing that. That’s confidential. I don’t want to do this.”

(Internally I was wondering how her income was confidential, but her social was not. I backed out and proceeded to ring her up. The transaction was finished.)

Customer: “Now, [Brand #1] IS made in Japan, right?”

Me: “Either Japan or China. I’m not positive. But I can find out.”

Customer: “Yeah, find out. I don’t want it if it’s made in China. I need to see on the box that it says made in Japan.”

Coworker: “It says right here: made in China.”

Customer: “I don’t want it.”

Me: “Okay, I can undo the transaction. That’s fine.”

Customer: “Find me one that’s made in America.”

Me: “I doubt that anything we have will be made in America, but I’ll go look.”

(Customer follows me to our home theater department. We find a [Brand #2] that says ‘made in California, U.S., assembled in Mexico.’)

Customer: “I’ll take this one. I guess it’s okay that it’s assembled in Mexico. I mean Mexico is part of the United States. Like New Mexico.”

Me: “Um… Well, actually… Yeah… Anyway, are you sure you want this one? It’s a smart TV, and you told me you don’t have Internet.”

Customer: “Yes, I want this one.”

(I take the TV back to customer service.)

Customer: “So just void that old transaction. I don’t want an exchange. I need it voided for my banking, and you may not be here.”

(No idea what that even means, but I void the transaction and ring up the new TV. My manager overhears her talking about not wanting anything made in China. He proceeds to jump in and tell her that all our TV’s have Chinese parts in them.)

Customer: “Are you serious? Well… the [Brand #2] will still be better right? Since it’s assembled in Mexico, and that’s in the United States.”

Manager: “Uh… well… no.  [Brand #1] is traditionally better.”

Customer: “Well, maybe I’ll get the [Brand #1].”

(My manager, not understanding what he was getting himself into, proceeds to try and sell her on a warranty by explaining that there’s a chip powering these TVs and lightning can destroy them easily, and our plan covers that.)

Customer: “Oh… wow… So what you’re saying is none of these TVs are any good?”

Manager: “No, no, I’m saying any of them can be destroyed. Our plan will cover it as long as it’s not physically damaged.”

Customer: “Oh, lord, no. That wouldn’t happen. I’m single.”

(My manager finally wises up and walks away. I ring up the extra warranty.)

Me: “Okay, now, your phone number again. It was—”

Customer: “Shh! Don’t say it out loud!”

Me: “I’m sorry.”

Customer: “People are everywhere listening to get your information. I’ll write it down.”

(The customer finally leaves with the [Brand #1] she initially bought. Later that night she calls back.)

Customer: “I’m trying to register my TV, but it wants an email address. I don’t have one. I wanted to see if I could use yours…”

Drive Through Democracy

, | TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Politics

(A customer pulls up to my window, and he looks extremely similar to Bill Clinton.)

Me: “Has anyone ever told you that you look like Bill Clinton?”

Customer: “I did NOT have sexual relations with that woman!”

(The customer then proceeded, in full Clinton style, to light up a joint at my drive-through window.)

Tree Talk

| The Philippines | Bizarre

(I receive a call from a guy who’s calling on behalf of his friend and acting as the account owner. It’s pretty obvious because I can hear the account owner in the background providing his account info.)

Me: “Hi, my name is [My Name]; may I have your phone number, please?”

Friend: *whispers* “Dude, what’s your phone number?”

Account Owner: *from the background* “It’s [number].”

Friend: “Hi, yes. It’s [number].”

Me: “Thank you! Now, may I have your name?”

Friend: *whispers* “Dude, what is the complete name on your account?”

Account Owner: *from the background* “It’s [Full Name].”

Friend: “Sure, [Full Name].”

(The friend kept chatting with the account owner and is no longer paying attention to what I’m asking.)

Me: “[Name]!”

Friend: “Oh! I’m sorry about that. Can you please repeat your question?”

Me: “This is the last time I will ask this question, if I don’t get the answer I will have to disconnect this call! What… is… the.. name… of… the STREEEET… that you grew up on?!”

Friend: *he is rattled and whispers* “Dude, what’s the name of TREE that you grew up on?”

Account Owner: *from the background* “What the f***, dude?”

Friend: “Didn’t you ask for the tree name?”

Account Owner: *now shouting from the background* “Just what the f*** is your problem with me? Stop messing around! If you wanna play, wait for your turn!”

Me: *laughing and can barely speak* ” “Uh, sir…”

Friend: *shaky voice* “What is it you are asking for?”

Me: “I’m asking for the name of the… name of the…” *mute and laugh* “streeeet, please.”

Friend: *click*

Imprisoned By The Name

| Washington DC, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Criminal/Illegal

(I work at a call center where we receive in-custody records from county jails and state prisons. Most people who call us or are routed to us by calling the jail think we are the jail they are calling. This call comes in on the DC line.)

Customer: “Um, hi, yes, I have a friend who is missing, and I want to know if he’s in jail there? His name is [Name]. But he could be in there with the last name [Other Name], too.”

Me: “Okay, let me take a look.” *runs search* “No, ma’am, there’s no one in the system by either name.”

Customer: “His name has to come up to for him to be in jail there, right?”

Me: “…that’s correct, ma’am.”

Can’t Hold A Finger To His Complacency

| NY, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

(I am in the waiting room at an urgent care facility. A young man in his 20s walks up to the receptionist, a bloody paper towel around one hand.)

Receptionist: “Is it still bleeding?”

Caller: “Yeah. I have it in a bag, see?”

(He then pulls out a plastic bag from a pocket, with the tip of his finger inside.)

Receptionist: “You need to go to the ER.”

Caller: “Aw, man, really?”

Receptionist: “Um, yes. Yes, you really do.”

(He only seemed mildly disappointed, but turned and calmly walked out of the office.)

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