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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    A New Form Of Reverse Psychology

    , | CO, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

    (I am working the drive thru and we were about to close. I see a car full of high-schoolers pull up to the window and the whole car is backwards. I go see what’s going on.)

    Customer: “I bet you haven’t seen a car drive backwards through your drive thru before!”

    Me: “No, sure haven’t!”

    Customer: “So this means we get free food then right? For being original?”

    Me: “Um, no. Nice try.”

    Customer: “Okay. Had to try.” *drives off in reverse*

    A Sweet Resolution

    | MS, USA | Bizarre

    Me: “Hello. This is [Name].”

    (There is lots of very loud static on the phone, making it difficult for me to hear the person.)

    Caller: “Hello?”

    Me: “Can you hear me?”

    Caller: “Hello?!”

    Me: “Your phone has a lot of static. I’m having trouble hearing you.”

    Caller: “HELLO?! CAN YOU HEAR ME? PEOPLE CAN’T HEAR ME AND I CAN’T HEAR THEM!”

    Me: “YOU’VE GOT A LOT OF LOUD STATIC THAT SOUNDS LIKE A PLASTIC WRAPPER!”

    (The static stops.)

    Caller: “Oh! That’s because I was opening a candy! Thanks for your help!”

    (The caller hung up, and my face met the desk.)

    Queen Of Hearts On Line Two

    | MT, USA | Bizarre, Technology

    (I’m doing troubleshooting with a customer, mostly to see if I can figure out what’s wrong with her washer. She’s just unplugged it for one minute and plugged it back in.)

    Me: “Okay, let’s try to get it to fill up with water, and then manually switch it to a point in the cycle where it drains.”

    Caller: “Okay! I’ll do a speed wash, then you can call me back in 20 minutes when it’s done!”

    Me: “Great idea!”

    (I hear beeping in the background, and I’m assuming this is the machine beginning the cycle.)

    Caller: “Oh, no! I think we broke it more!”

    Me: *panicking* “Oh, no! What’s it doing?”

    Caller: “Now the water isn’t even filling up! All the hoses are connected and everything!”

    Me: “Oh, no! Well, I’ll go ahead and set up you for service then.”

    Caller: “You were supposed to fix it, not make it worse! OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!”

    (The caller yells the last bit, and I jump so badly I fall out of my chair and knock my headset off. When I pick it back up, I hear her laughing.)

    Caller: “Oh, my goodness. I am so sorry I scared you! I was only fooling!”

    Me: “That’s okay. I’m awake now.”

    Mutant Turtles

    | MN, USA | Bizarre, Language & Words, Pets & Animals

    (I am stocking shelves in our birdseed section.)

    Caller: “Excuse me?”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Caller: “I’m looking for something to keep turtles out of my birdfeeder.”

    Me: “… What?”

    Caller: “My birdfeeder? Those turtles keep pestering my birds and eating all the feed.”

    Me: “How would… turtles? I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

    Caller: “I…NEED…TO…KEEP…TURTLES…OUT! Is that so hard to understand?”

    Me: “How on earth does a turtle even get onto a birdfeeder?!”

    Caller: “Oh, did I say turtles? I meant squirrels! Now I see your confusion!”

    Don’t Let Your Hair Down

    | UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Money, Wild & Unruly

    (I am a cashier. An older woman and her son come in, and spend about 20 minutes perusing the sweets section, all the while glancing back at me and smiling quite creepily. She finally comes to the counter with two bags of Jelly Babies.)

    Me: “Hi. How are you? Will this be everything?”

    Customer: “Yes.”

    Me: “That will be £2.10 please.”

    (She gives me a £50 note.)

    Me: *sighing inwardly for having to get such a large amount of change* “Thank you. Here is your change, £47.90.”

    Customer: “No, no, no. I am only paying £1.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but individually they are £1.05. That won’t be enough.”

    Customer: “No, this is not right. I don’t want to pay that.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but the price is clearly marked on the shelf, and they have scanned into to till at the correct price.”

    Customer: “Well, fine, but I want smaller notes in my change.”

    (I oblige, and change out the larger notes for smaller ones, noticing there is now a queue of about 5 people behind her, looking impatient.)

    Me: “Thank you very much. Have a nice day.”

    Customer: “You have nice hair. So long, such a nice colour.”

    Me: “Err, thank you. Is there anything else I can get for you today?”

    Customer: “Yes. No. I don’t want these sweets. Refund me, and I want my £50 note back.”

    (By this point I am getting quite impatient, but I still remain polite, and do as she asks, taking her change back off the counter and putting it back in the till drawer.)

    Me: “Okay. Here is your £50 note. Have a nice day!”

    (The customer suddenly lunges over the counter and grabs my hair, pulling me halfway over the counter, which is quite painful!)

    Customer: “Such nice hair! I want it! SO nice!”

    (I manage to get my hair free and jump back, quite startled.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, but it is not okay for you to invade my personal space and yank my hair. If you do not wish to purchase anything today, then I will have to ask you to leave as you are holding up a line of customers!”

    (The customer gives me a dirty look, practically snarling at me, and flounces out of the shop.)

    Next Customer: “What the h*** was that about?”

    Me: “I… I have no idea.”

    (Apparently the woman came back into the shop later in the week when I am not working, did the same long, drawn out process with the £50, requesting a lower price after the transaction has gone through, and then asking for a refund. She also asked after me, ‘the rude girl with the nice hair.’)


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