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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Going On A Duck Tale

    | USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Pets & Animals

    (My office phone rings and I answer it. The voice on the other line sounds like it belongs to an elderly gentleman who may be hard of hearing.)

    Me: “Hello, [Prison]. This is [My Name].”

    Caller: “Hi. Yes, this is [Caller] from [Small, Rural Town] and I need a duck license.”

    Me: “I am sorry, sir?”

    Caller: “I need a duck license. I know I can get one on the Internet, but the Internet is not good out here in [Small, Rural Town].”

    Me: “Sir, I think you got the wrong number.”

    Caller: “We have so many ducks out here. I need a duck license. I know I can get them on the Internet, but I can’t use the Internet so I need you to help me with a duck license.”

    Me: “Sir, you have called the wrong number. This is the penitentiary.”

    Caller: “You see there are so many ducks around here. So I need your help with a license…”

    Me: “Sir, you have the wrong number.”

    Caller: “… and I need it because there are so many ducks and I need a license to shoot them…”

    Me: “Sir? I think you wanted fish and game.”

    Caller: “… but I can’t get on the Internet, so I need you to give me a license.”

    Me: “Sir, you have the wrong number. This is the penitentiary.”

    Caller: “The what? Who did I call?”

    Me: “You called the prison, sir.”

    Caller: “Oh, you can’t help me at all then…”

    Me: “Let me get you the number to fish and game.”

    (He was very nice and appreciative, and his wrong number made my day!)

    Caribbean There, Done That

    | London, England, UK | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Geography

    (I’m a volunteer lunch-server in a nursing home, but I’ve spent the last month working in the south of France. I’ve picked up a slight tan, but usually my skin is as white as it gets. One lady stares at me oddly as I bring her her food.)

    Lady: “Where are you from?”

    Me: “From here, ma’am. I live a few roads away.”

    Lady: “No, I mean where were you born?”

    Me: “Finchley, originally, but I moved—”

    Lady: “No, no, no. Where are you from?”

    Me: “Uh. London, ma’am. Britain.”

    Lady: “And your parents?”

    Me: “Also from London.”

    Lady: *squints at me* “No, you’re lying. There’s no shame in being Jamaican, you know. You can tell me.”

    Me: “I… What?”

    Half-Baked Conviction

    | OH, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    (A customer calls into the bakery from another state wanting to order some baked goods for a friend of hers in our city. She begins the conversation trying to ascertain that we were a popular bakery, and that people in the city actually buy from us. This line of questioning takes about 10 minutes.)

    Caller: “Between you, me, and the light post, do your baked goods actually taste good?”

    The Bitter Taste Of The Law

    , , | USA | Bizarre, Criminal/Illegal, Food & Drink

    (I work in the call center for a national fast food restaurant. We don’t accept ideas about new or modified products from guests, and we especially don’t pay for them. Any time a guest starts to give a suggestion, we have to read them a legal statement to that effect.)

    Caller: “I wanted to tell you that I love your turkey burgers, but I really think you should start serving them on gluten-free—”

    Me: *interrupting* “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I do have something I need to read you real quickly.”

    (I then read the legal statement stating that we can’t accept her idea, and won’t pay for it.)

    Caller: *long pause* “Well, I don’t know what that means, but it doesn’t sound very nice, so I’m going to hang up on you.”

    (And she did!)

    You Have To Question Their Reasons

    | MI, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

    (I work in a call center taking calls from subscribers to our web-based program.)

    Subscriber: “Hi. I was told to call.”

    Me: *thinking that he got an email or a voice mail* “Was the message from anyone in particular?”

    Subscriber: “It’s on the invoice. It told me to call.”

    (I pull up his account but there aren’t any notes from our administration/billing department or any other representatives, so I’m a little confused by this.)

    Me: “You received a note on your invoice to call us?”

    Subscriber: “Yes. It said to call if I had any questions.”

    Me: “And do you have any questions?”

    Subscriber: “No.”

    Me: “Okay, then… Have a great day!”

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