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    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 18

    | Chesapeake, VA, USA | Bizarre, Books & Reading, Food & Drink

    (I’m standing with my shopping basket full of food in the dairy aisle of my local grocery store when I’m approached by a middle-aged lady I’ve known for years and who frequently comes into the library where I work. I’m wearing my black jeans and a maroon shirt, which looks nothing like the khakis and blue shirts employees wear.)

    Lady: “Young man, do you work here?”

    Me: “No, Mrs. [Lady]. I work at the library. Remember? You came in earlier this week? I checked out your books for you?”

    Lady: “Oh, so you don’t work here then? Do you know the differences between these two kinds of cheese?”

    Me: “No, but I bet I could probably find you a great book on them next time you come into the library where I work.”

    (Some time later she came into the library during my shift and asked if I still worked at the grocery store, too.)

    Related:
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 17
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 16
    I Don’t Work Here, Does Not Work Here, Part 15

    Reached Your Tea Total

    | Orlando, FL, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink

    Customer: “I want a full-leaf brewed tea.”

    Me: “Okay, which one?”

    Customer: “The full leaf one.”

    Me: “We have a few different kinds, sir. We have mint, chai, English breakfast, zen, Earl Grey, China green tips, and passion tea. Which one did you want?”

    Customer: “Which one is closest to mint?”

    Me: “The mint.”

    Customer: “No, besides that one.”

    Me: “…The zen? I guess?”

    Customer: “What does that one taste like?”

    Me: “…Mint.”

    Customer: “How much coffee is in it?”

    Allergic To Common Sense, Part 4

    | AB, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (A lady orders a blueberry pineapple margarita and I bring it out. A little while later I notice her giving it to her husband and not drinking it.)

    Me: “Is everything okay with the margarita?”

    Lady: “Oh, yes. I am just allergic to pineapples but wanted to try it.”

    Me: “Are you okay?”

    Lady: “Oh yeah, it will just turn my face red.” *laughs* “It is already.”

    (Sure enough her face developed a rash. She ordered and paid for a drink she knew she was allergic to!)

    Related
    Allergic To Common Sense, Part 3
    Allergic To Common Sense, Part 2
    Allergic To Common Sense

    Maybe He Needed Socks For The Office

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

    (I work at a counter right inside the entrance of an office supply store. One day, I see a man in a suit hurrying into the store. He looks panicked.)

    Me: “Hello! What can I help—”

    Customer: *looking frantically at nearby displays* “Do you guys sell socks!?”

    Me: “Er… no, we sell office supplies.”

    Customer: “You’re SURE?!”

    Me: “I’m sure.”

    Customer: “Do you know if [Store Next Door] sells socks?”

    Me: “It’s a better possibility than an office supply store selling them!”

    (He turned around and hurried out of the store, headed for our neighbor.)

    A Hobby-tual Hazard

    | UK | Bizarre, Rude & Risque

    (Before we take customers through to pre-testing we have to go through some basic details with them.)

    Me: “So, how many hours are you looking at a computer?”

    Elderly Customer: “At least three, usually more!”

    Me:“That’s cool. One last question, do you have any hobbies that could strain your eyes?”

    (He thinks long and hard.)

    Elderly Customer: “Does Internet porn count as a hobby?”

    (Everyone, including the manager, bursts out laughing. After tearing up my only response is:)

    Me: “Only if you put real effort into it…”

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