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  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Category: Bizarre

    For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

    Don’t Go Against Or He’ll Be Very (St. Georges) Cross

    | Denmark | Bizarre, Geography, Politics

    (A customer walks into to the shop where I work. He is talking to himself and starts laughing randomly. This conversation happens after he has paid for his purchase.)

    Customer: “By the way can you tell me which flag this is?” *shows me his coin purse*

    Me: “That is the English flag.”

    Customer: “The English flag looks like this?”

    Me: “Yes, that’s the English flag; it’s different from the British flag.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. And are the English with us or against us?”

    Me: “I think they’re with us; they were the last time I checked.”

    Customer: “Okay, thanks so much. Bye!”

    Me: *to my coworker* “I wonder what he would have done if I had said they were against us?”

    Unable To Swim Through His Bigotry

    | OR, USA | Bigotry, Bizarre

    (I work at a pool where all the supervisors and managers are female. The only male employees teach swimming lessons or life guard. It’s a small pool, so there’s normally only two or three of us on duty. I was supervising a very quiet open swim with a male coworker. I’m 24 and he’s 16.)

    Customer: “I need to speak to your manager.”

    Me: “I am the manager, sir. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “No, you’re not. I need to talk to the maaaaaanageeeeeeeer.”

    Me: “I AM the manager. What do you need?”

    Customer: “No, you can’t help me. I need the man out on deck right now.”

    Me: “Sir, the guard on deck has been working here for less than two weeks. I’ve been here for over six years. What do you need?”

    Customer: “Never mind. I’ll just ask him when he’s off.”

    (I switch with my coworker a few minutes later. Not even a minute after, he comes out on deck to ask me to help the man who had been bothering me earlier.)

    Me: “Are you willing to let me help you now?”

    Customer: “YOU can’t help me. I want to speak to your boss.”

    Me: *seeing where this is going* “My boss is also a woman. So is about 75% of this staff, which is fairly common in an aquatic environment. Now can I help you or not?”

    Customer: “Fine. I need change for a dollar.”

    Totally Bugging Out

    | USA | Bizarre, Pets & Animals

    (For the last few minutes, I’ve noticed people acting strangely towards me.)

    Customer: “Hello-”

    Me: “Hello, what can I do for you?” *smile*

    Customer: *eyes bug out* “Um. Ah. Never mind.” *practically runs*

    (I take out a small mirror to inspect my face, thinking I have some food for lunch left on it. Nothing. Bemused, I shrug and continue what I’m doing.)

    Customer: “Hello, may I get a printout of my account?”

    Me: “Of course, ma’am.”

    (The customer eyes me weirdly, but I ignore the look. Then as I look down to type, I notice something MOVING on my shirt. It’s a beetle, as black as my shirt. I’m deathly afraid of bugs.)

    Me: “Ahhh! Help! Help! Ahhh!”

    (The customer and my coworkers stared as I frantically jumped around, swiping at the front of my shirt. The manager came out to see what I was screaming about, and I finally got it off. To this day since then, people call me the Bug-Brained Boy!)

    A Tinny Tiny Problem With Her Hearing

    | IL, USA | Bizarre, Musical Mayhem, Technology

    (Customers are packed in a tight aisle, so to get out of the way my brother and I go to the end of the aisle and stand there. We are in front of the coffee creamer and are talking about mp3 players. Suddenly, an old lady appears.)

    Old Lady: *in a loud, almost yelling, voice* “You’re in front of what I need!”

    (My brother and I move away and continue our conversation. The old lady takes literally five minutes to choose her creamer and just as she’s about to walk away…)

    Me: *directed towards my brother* “Yeah, but your mp3 player sounds so tinny.”

    Old Lady:  “What did you say?!”

    Me: “Uhm… a certain type of mp3 player sounds tinny?”

    Old Lady: *getting mad* “What did you say to me!?”

    Me: *louder* “This mp3 player sound tinny!”

    Old Lady: *really mad* “What! Are you serious?! Tell me again, what did you say to me!?”

    Me: *pretty loud* “My brother’s mp3 player sounds bad!”

    (There’s silence for a moment, then the old lady walks away without saying a thing.)

    Brother: “Her hearing must be tinny.”

    An Unrewarding Experience

    | St. John's, NL, Canada | At The Checkout, Bizarre

    (I work as a supervisor at a grocery store, and we have just launched a new rewards card for the store, and started asking every customer with their order if they want to get the new card. I am called over to this exchange between a cashier:)

    Me: “Hi, is there a problem?”

    Customer: “Your cashier is trying to track me.”

    Me: “Excuse me?” *I exchange glances with my cashier, who is very confused, too*

    Customer: “What don’t you understand?”

    Me: “How is she trying to track you?”

    Customer: “She wants me to sign up for this card so the government can see everything I buy and everywhere I go.”

    (I almost start laughing, before I realize he is serious.)

    Me: “Sir, this card is just a rewards card for us to keep competitive with [Competitor].”

    Customer: “I don’t shop there because they’re trying to track me, too. This government wants to get me. I’ve gotta get out of here.”

    (The customer proceeded to walk out of the story, leaving his groceries behind, and I haven’t seen him since.)

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