Category: Bizarre

For whatever reason, some Customers are just plain odd. And the service industry unleashes them on to unsuspecting clerks with often hilarious results. If you like your customers just plain bizarre, then read on!

All Wrapped Up In Sexual Orientation

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bizarre

Customer: “Can you wrap that?”

Me: “Sure. Is it for a man or a woman?”

Customer: “A man.” *pause and then rather frantically* “Oh, but he’s gay! Does that make any difference to how you wrap it?!”

Return The Clock On The Clock

, | Canada | Bizarre

(I work at an engraving kiosk in a mall. Most of our products are engraved and not returnable.)

Customer: “What’s your return policy?”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry. I’m not completely sure, but it’s stated on this sign right here.” *points to sign right in front of her*

Customer: “You don’t know your return policy? Do you even work here?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I assure you I work here.”

Customer: “What does this mean, that engraved items can’t be returned? Why?”

Me: “…Once an item has been engraved with something like, ‘Love, Jim,’ it’s highly unlikely that anyone else would want that particular message.”

Customer: “Oh. I’ll buy this clock.”

Me: “Would you like anything engraved in it?”

Customer: “No.”

(Half an hour later, she was back to return the clock. I figure a. she was lonely and needed an object to accompany her through the mall, and b. she had a burning desire to test our return policy!)

Give The Description The Boot

| Cedar Rapids, IA, USA | Bizarre, Extra Stupid

(I work for an online retailer but we have over a hundred stores across the nation. I work in the call center portion.)

Me: “Thanks for calling [Retail]. This is [My Name].”

Customer: “I have a quick question about your [Brand of shoes we carry]. Do they come as a set? Because it says ‘boot’ on the website and I don’t want to spend $210 on one boot.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. They are sold as a set.”

Customer: “Great! Tell your supervisor to fix it online.” *click*

Not A Good Uniform Response

| FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Bizarre

(I work at a movie theater, where the dress code calls for black work pants, black sneakers, and our uniform-polo shirt that everyone wears.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am, how are you doing tonight?”

Customer: *dramatically feigning surprise* “Oh, what was that? I’m sorry; I was distracted by your disgustingly revealing clothing.”

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “You know, I see this more and more with young ladies today. You’re at work for God’s sake; you’re not here to recruit some ‘johns’ for your night-job!”

Me: “Excuse me, but that is totally uncalled for. I’m wearing the same uniform as everyone else here.”

Customer: “Your attitude is disgusting too, of course.”

Me: *trying to smile* “Your theater is to the left. Enjoy your movie.”

Customer: “I’m going to talk to your manager about you before I leave!”

Me: “Yes, thank you, ma’am.”

Customer: “And lose the attitude!”

Me: “Yes, thank you, ma’am.”

(She did end up writing a letter to corporate, saying I was ‘a rude strumpet, and completely offensive.’ Luckily, my managers and I had a good laugh over it and printed out. It’s still tacked up in the employee room to remind us that the customer isn’t ALWAYS right.)

Toys We ‘R’ Not

| IN, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests

Me: “Thanks for calling [Store]. This is [My Name]. How may I help you?”

Caller: *in a strong accent* “I’m lookin’ for Taggers!”

Me: “Taggers?”

Caller: “Yes, I need some Taggers and I know ya had ’em last year, I want ’em for Easter.”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I have bad hearing. Could you spell that for me?”

Caller: “What’s so hard about Taggers?” *sighs* “T-a-g-g-e-r-s; Taggers!”

Me: “Taggers?”

Caller: “Yes! Giant, stuffed, plush Taggers!”

Me: “Oh, tigers!”

Caller: “That’s what I said!”

Me: “I’m sorry we didn’t get any in this year.”

Caller: “Well do you know who might have them?”

Me: “Toys R Us?”

Caller: “Great idea! I’ll give you my number.”

Me: “Number?”

Caller: “You know, my phone number!”

Me: “Why would you give me your phone number?”

Caller: *sigh* “So you can call them and then tell me if they have any!”

Me: “I’m sorry; I can’t dial out, but you have a nice day and I hope you find what you’re looking for.”

(I quickly hung up the phone and my manager laughed at me, until he answered the phone. It was the same woman calling back, wanting us to see if ‘Toys R Us’ had her Taggers.)

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