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    Category: Bigotry

    This category is dedicated to the bottom rung of humanity at its worst — racists, homophobes, and other bigots — and, occasionally, employees at their finest.

    Paint Me A Misogynist

    | Mesa, AZ, USA | Bigotry, Top

    (I work in the hardware department of a large retail store. Part of my duties entail mixing paint. A customer approaches my male coworker, who doesn’t know how to use the paint machine. He points the customer in my direction and the following conversation ensues.)

    Customer: “What? Her? But she’s a woman!”

    Me: “I can help you, sir. Don’t worry. I have lots of experience in tinting paint.”

    Customer: “Are you sure? Who taught you how to do that? How on Earth did you get this job?”

    (The paint machine requires that we use a specific base for each color depending on the amount of tint that needs to be used. I need light base, but the customer hands me a can of medium base. I go to replace it.)

    Customer: “What are you doing? I gave you medium base. It’s a medium color. I don’t think you know what you’re doing.”

    Me: “I assure you, I do. The process is all computerized. I need a light base.”

    Customer: “I want to see your manager. You can’t do this right.”

    Me: “Trust me, just let me mix the paint before I get him. He’s likely busy.”

    (I proceed to mix the paint. It turns out perfectly.)

    Customer: *slinks off, defeated*

    No Obamacare For You

    | Berkeley, CA, USA | Bigotry

    (Although I was born in California and have lived here my entire life, my dad is from Australia, and I have picked up some of his speaking mannerisms. In consequence, when I say “Yeah”, it sounds like “Yeh”.)

    Customer: “Can I slide my card through, miss?”

    Me: “Yeah, it’s ready!”

    Customer: “Actually, sorry, I don’t support illegal immigrants.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “You talk funny! You’re an illegal immigrant!”

    Me: “Actually, ma’am, I was born here. I just have my accent from a parent who was not an illegal immigrant.”

    Customer: “No! You aren’t allowed to be here! I’ll be notifying the president about this!” *stomps out without her merchandise*

    We’ll Need A Mop To Soak Up All The Bigotry

    | Toronto, Ontario, Canada | Bigotry, Top

    (I am doing a product demonstration show and I decide to do a character because it makes the job go by fast and it’s more fun. While doing a demonstration in my “Getting Married” character, an old woman in her late 80s takes a mop from me. As she’s about to buy it, she asks me a few questions.)

    Customer: “So, you’re getting married? Oh, that’s lovely. What’s your fella like?”

    Me: “Julia is a girl and she is the love of my life. We’re getting married in November.”

    Customer: “A girl? You’re a dy**?”

    Me: “I prefer lesbian, but yes, I am.”

    Customer: “A DY** SOLD ME A MOP!”

    (The woman proceeds to toss the mop at me and then go get a manager.)

    Customer: “Did you know that you have a dy** working here?”

    Manager: “Ma’am, I don’t think she appreciates you calling her that.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t want a God d*** dy** selling me things that I need. I can’t take them if she sells it to me.”

    Manager: “Why don’t I get one of my associates to ring you through?”

    Customer: “I’d like that very much.”

    (The manager runs her through, but gives me a $50 gift card to our store. Thank you, prejudiced old woman. I got really nice sheets.)

    Equal Opportunity Confusion

    | Lexington, KY, USA | Bigotry

    (I am a female employee at a popular home improvement retailer, where I get a lot of sexist comments. A male customer nearby looks confused.)

    Me: “Sir, is there anything I can help you with?”

    Customer: “I’m going to say yes, because I don’t discriminate.”

    Me: *speechless*

    America: Land Of The Delusional

    | Boston, MA, USA | Bigotry

    (I am an Asian American girl without any accent. I’m working the information desk in a busy, urban hospital setting. An older, kindly woman approaches my desk.)

    Woman: *in a perfect Irish brogue* “I just wanted to ask you a question.”

    Me: “Sure. What can I help you with?”

    Woman: “Are you American?”

    Me: “Yes, I am.”

    Woman: *smiles kindly* “No, you’re not.” *walks away*

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