This category is dedicated to the bottom rung of humanity at its worst — racists, homophobes, and other bigots — and, occasionally, employees at their finest.
In addition to our weekly roundups, each month we’ll be sharing our most popular reader-voted stories.
March Monthly Roundup: This month, we share five stories that show that customers can be bad, but at least they’re not boring!
- She Fought The Law, And The Law Won, Part 2:
Think you’re going to buy booze for your underaged, 16-year-old daughter? Not on this liquor store employee’s watch!
- When Press Comes To Shove:
A blustery customer counts on berating an employee to get his way; what he didn’t count on: the employee’s 6’5″, 250-lb. fiance waiting in the back.
- The Height Of (Mt.) Misogyny:
Misogynists really should go jump off a cliff, but this sexist customer probably couldn’t make it to the top anyway.
- Weeding Out The Dumb Ones, Part 2:
Either this guy’s in the wrong shop, or those are the LARGEST. BONGS. EVER.
- So Good She Doesn’t Need A Weapon:
A little girl learns that although diamonds are forever, mommy’s handcuffs are for her eyes only.
(At our store, we have this point card where if you get 10 points, you get a free drink. Unfortunately, if a customer has more than one card, we aren’t allowed to combine the points together.)
Customer: *throws four cards in front of me* “Check these.”
Me: “Wait, what?”
Customer: “Check them! I want you to combine the points together. I should I have a free drink now.”
Me: “Sorry, but we aren’t allowed to combine the poi—”
Customer’s friend: “What’re you waiting for? She’s a customer! You have to do as we say. Hurry up and give us our free drink.”
Me: “I’m sorry. As I was trying to say before, we can’t combine card points.”
Customer: “Oh, well, just use the one that has the most points on it.”
Me: *proceeds to check each card*
Customer’s friend: “Hurry up! You’re Chinese! You have to work faster!”
(Once we’ve finished dealing with the customers, my co-worker comes up to me.)
Coworker: “Man those two were just…really annoying. I’m surprised you didn’t tell that guy off.”
Me: “Ah, it’s okay. I just used the card with the fewest points.”
(I’m helping visitors touch some of the animals on exhibit. One of the boys in the crowd is getting too rowdy with the snake I have out.)
Me: “I’m going to need you to step back so someone else can have a turn.”
Me: “You’re being a little to rough with the animal. You can come back later, though.”
Boy: “YOU ARE BEING RACIST!”
Boy: “It’s because I’m black!”
(Note: I’m white, and so is the boy.)
Me: “Um, you’re white.”
Boy: “Oh, so now you’re being a reverse racist!” *storms away*
(I am a woman working at a shop that specializes in mountain climbing equipment. I happen to be very experienced when it comes to trekking, so often colleagues ask me to help people who are planning a mountain trek. My coworker is bringing a male customer over to me for trek-planning help.)
Coworker: “And here’s [my name] now. She’s our expert when it comes mountain treks!”
Male Customer: “Don’t be stupid.”
Male Customer: “Girls don’t climb mountains.”
Me: *laughs* “This girl does! Where are you hoping to climb?”
Male Customer: “Well, I’m climbing the highest peak in the Atlas region.”
Me: “Oh, Jebel Toubkal? Excellent, I did that last year. What time of year are you planning to go?”
Male Customer: “I don’t believe you.”
Male Customer: “Can you just bring back the man I spoke to first? I’m sure he’ll know more about it than you.”
Me: “You think my male colleague, who specializes in camping, low-level trekking and biking, will be more equipped to help you than me, a woman who climbed the exact mountain you’re planning to climb?”
Male Customer: “Yes.”
(I fetch my coworker, who is forced to continue checking with me to see if what he is selling is okay. The worst part: my staff identification picture is of me at the summit of Jebel Toubkal!)
(Note: I am a female employee at an auto parts store. A woman walks in.)
Me: “How can I help you?”
Woman: “I need a tail light bulb for my Chrysler. Oh, and could you come out and show my ex-husband how to take the old one out? I’d love for you to show him up!”
(I go outside and help him switch out his taillight. As I’m walking back into the store, I hear him say…)
Man: *to ex-wife* “You had to pick the only girl in the store to help us, didn’t you?!”