• A Pain In The Nugget
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  • October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    Category: Bigotry

    This category is dedicated to the bottom rung of humanity at its worst — racists, homophobes, and other bigots — and, occasionally, employees at their finest.

    Left In The Dark Ages

    | Houma, LA, USA | Bigotry

    (Note: I am left-handed. I’m working at a music store when the most wonderfully old-fashioned customer comes in.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am, welcome to [store]! How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Oh… oh, my! Are you writing with your LEFT hand?” *pulls a cross on a necklace from under her shirt*

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, I’ve always been left handed. Is there anything I can assist you with?”

    Customer: *frantically waves the cross around* “I’m sorry. I can’t shop here. You lefties are so unnatural; I thought they stamped you all out in elementary school!”

    No Sense, No Sensitivity, No Service

    | Pittsburgh, PA, USA | Bigotry, Top

    (I am checking out an older gay couple holding hands, who has been very pleasant, when the customer behind them speaks up.)

    Me: “How are you guys doing today?”

    Customer #1: “Oh, just great.”

    Customer #2: “Hey! Lady!”

    Me: “Is there a problem?”

    Customer #2: “You’re allowed to refuse to serve people, aren’t you?”

    Me: “Um, yes, I can make them go to another line if they cause problems.”

    Customer #2: “Well, why are you ringing out these homos?! Kick them out of your line!”

    Me: “Um, sir, these men haven’t been causing problems.”

    Customer #2: “They’re f***ing f****ts! I can’t believe you’re helping them!” *to the couple* “Get the h*** out of here! She’s refusing to serve you!”

    Customer #1: “We’re not doing anything!”

    Me: “Please, sir, I have no problem. They’ve been very nice to me. I’m almost done checking them out, anyway.”

    Customer #2: “No! No, no, no! I demand that you refuse them service!”

    (By now, I’ve finished with the couple’s grocery order.)

    Me: “Sir?”

    Customer #2: “What?!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but you’re causing a disturbance. I’m going to have to refuse you service. Please move to another line.”

    (He threw a fit and complained to my manager, but the gay couple spoke up in my defense and Customer #2 was banned from the store.)

    Twinstigating Trouble

    | Salem, OR, USA | Bigotry

    (My cousin is only six months pregnant, but since she’s having twins, she looks further along than she is. I take her out to lunch one day and this exchange occurs.)

    Waiter: “Hi, ladies.” *to my cousin* “Wow, you must be ready to pop any day, huh?”

    My Cousin: *laughs* “No, actually, but I’m having twins, so I’m a little bigger than normal.”

    Waiter: “Ah, I see. So, what can I get—”

    (Suddenly, the customer at the next table rudely interrupts us.)

    Rude Customer: “Bulls***! It’s women like you always craving attention that make people hate females!”

    Me: *to waiter* “To answer your question, you can get that woman away from us.”

    Waiter: “That can be arranged!”

    (The customer was kicked out, and we got a discount on our meal!)

    This Is Why We Don’t Color Code People, Part 2

    | Toronto, ON, Canada | Bigotry

    (I work at a mall kiosk store for a major telecom company in Canada. One morning, two full-time employees and I are all at work. I’m white, but the other two are Iranian and Filipino. A customer comes in.)

    Customer: “Are you available?”

    Me: “I can be.”

    Customer: “Oh, thank God! I don’t think that g***…” *gestures to my Filipino coworker* “…over there is smart enough to fix my problem.”

    Me: “Excuse me?!”

    Customer: “You know what I mean! Does that P*** even speak English?”

    Me: “Sir, you can leave now.”

    Customer: “EXCUSE ME?!”

    Me: “Leave, sir. I need you to leave the area around my kiosk.”

    Customer: “I want to speak with your manager.”

    Me: “Very well, sir. Would you like to speak with the assistant manager, too?”

    Customer: *nods*

    (I wave over my Iranian and Filipino coworkers, who happen to be the managers.)

    Filipino Coworker: “Hello, sir, what seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: “Is this a joke!? I’m leaving!”

    All 3 of us: “Thank you, sir!”

    This Is Why We Don’t Color Code People

    He’s No Slim Jim, Part 2

    | Robeline, LA, USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry

    (I’m the girl whose friend is not a Slim Jim. It’s been a busy evening, so when I finally get a free minute, I grab a cleaning rag and go to wipe down the counter near the soda fountains. As I’m walking from behind the counter, a customer walks in, followed closely by Jim.)

    Me: *turning to go back behind the counter* “Good evening! How—”

    Customer: “Yeah, you just thought you were getting a break, b****!”

    (At this point, Jim scowls but doesn’t say anything. After the man makes his purchase, Jim taps him on his shoulder. The guy turns and shrinks back when he sees that Jim is scowling with his arms crossed over his chest. The guy’s head is about level with Jim’s nose and he’s only half as broad.)

    Jim: “What did you just call this young lady?”

    Customer: “I… uh… I said that she… uh… is a very nice young lady. Beautiful, too.”

    Jim: “That’s what I thought.”

    Customer: *slinks around Jim and darts out the door* “Have a good night, gorgeous!”

    He’s No Slim Jim

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