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    Category: Bigotry

    This category is dedicated to the bottom rung of humanity at its worst — racists, homophobes, and other bigots — and, occasionally, employees at their finest.

    My Dog Thinks You’re Nuts

    | Boston, MA, USA | Bigotry, Pets & Animals, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I work at a dog park, and I get to bring my Great Dane to work with me. Most of my regulars know and love my dog, and he has his own little fan club. My Dane is an obedience champion and has a vast vocabulary of verbal and hand signal commands, including “shake”. However, because of his height, if someone asks him to “shake”, they usually get smacked for their troubles. An unpleasant new visitor to the park begins making disparaging comments.)

    New Visitor: *to me* “Border Collies are a real man’s dog. If you aren’t smart enough for a collie, you get something like that!” *points at my dog*

    Me: “Excuse me, but that’s incredibly rude.”

    New Visitor: “See? What did I tell you? Only a stupid woman would own a stupid dog like that!”

    Regular #1: “Actually, that dog is brilliant.”

    New Visitor: “Whatever. I bet he doesn’t even know how to shake hands.”

    Regular #2: *smiles* “Oh, please try…”

    New Visitor: *to my Great Dane* “Shake!”

    My Great Dane: *smacks him in the crotch*

    Inde-fence-ible Behavior

    | New Hampshire, USA | Bigotry, Geography, Top

    (I am a customer at an outlet shoe store in the White Mountains region of New Hampshire. We often get French Canadians who come to New Hampshire for vacations and buy things here to avoid the high taxes they pay in Canada. Most of them speak perfectly fine English but some of them, particularly some of the older people can have some trouble. I speak French fluently, so I’m helping an elderly couple who is having trouble translating the sales signs.)

    Me: *in French* “It says that if you buy one pair of shoes, you get the second pair half off.”

    Elderly Customer: *in French* “Thank you. My English in not good, and some things just don’t translate well—”

    Other Customer: “Don’t do that!”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Other Customer: “Don’t pander to them! If they want to live in this country, they should learn to speak English!”

    Me: “I think they are just visiting.”

    Other Customer: “Bulls***! Once they get into our country, they never leave! That’s why we need a fence.” *turns to the elderly couple* “Go back to Mexico!”

    Me: “They’re Canadian.”

    Other Customer: “Don’t lie to me. I heard you speaking Spanish!”

    Me: “That was French. Canada is a bilingual. Plenty of people in Canada speak French as their first language.”

    Other Customer: “We need a fence!”

    Me: “They are from Canada!”

    Other Customer: “We need TWO fences!”

    Sticking To One’s Guns

    | Texas, USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Top

    (A squadmate and I from my unit are out at the range, practicing with a pair of higher-priced military style AR rifles. Both of us are wearing civilian clothes and military issue armor and ammo carriers, for practice. A guy in the next lane over has a similarly expensive gun, and the far lane is occupied by an obvious civilian with a much cheaper, wooden rifle.)

    Next Lane: “Look at that s***! Only f****ts use Mosins. It’s a gay rifle!”

    Me: “Oh, that’s not true…” *I look at my buddy* “Do you have a Mosin, darling?”

    My Buddy: *doesn’t miss a beat* “Of course not, baby.”

    (He stops reloading the mag he has and stands very close to me with one arm around my shoulders.)

    Next Lane: *packs up and leaves immediately*

    (I am not gay, but my squad mate is!)

    R-E-S-P-E-C-T

    | Canada | Bigotry, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I am the only female working in the parts department in our store. Note: at my previous job, I was involved in a violent fight against a male coworker who tried to assault me. They guy ended up at the hospital and no charges were pressed against me since I acted in self-defense. This story is well known by my current coworkers and my boss and I’m teased mercilessly about being a “man-beater.” This particular day, I’m training a new guy to work on the floor and I’m also acting as the shift supervisor since the department manager is off.)

    Customer: *to my coworker* “I need to find this.” *shows a trailer connector*

    Coworker: “It’s my first week here and I’m not sure if we carry this. However, let me ask my coworker here; she’ll tell me if we have some.”

    Customer: “Her? How can she know something about trailers? She’s a girl. Girls don’t know s*** about trailers!”

    Coworker: “Let me assure you, sir, she is the most knowledgeable employee we have here.”

    Customer: “Well, if she think she can do a man’s job, let’s ask her.”

    (I take a look at his connector.)

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but we do not carry this kind of connector. I could order some, but it will take over two weeks before they come in. May I suggest you go over [trailer store] or [another trailer store]? Both are down the road. They are more specialized than us, and they’ll probably have one in stock.”

    Customer: *to my coworker* “I told you she’ll be useless.”

    Coworker: “Sir, I don’t know what she can tell you more. We don’t keep that kind of stuff in stock, and she suggested two other other store where they sell those kind of products. I think you’ve gotten all the help you need.”

    Customer: *suddenly starts screaming* “Why do you refuse to serve me?! I AM A MAN! I AM A CUSTOMER! I deserve RESPECT and OBEDIENCE! Now you will tell me where the f*** you keep those f***ing connectors!”

    Me: “Sir, I already told you; we do not carry them. Those other stores will happily sell one to you, but I can’t because I don’t have any on hand.”

    Customer: “You useless b****! Find me a manager with something between his legs so we can discuss man things between men!”

    Me: “I am the shift supervisor today, so you’ll have to deal with me. I’ll need you to remain polite or you’ll have to leave.”

    Customer: “Well, I will just stay behind you and get on your nerves! You’ll crack and resign from your job and find yourself a man that will teach you what is it to be a good woman! You’ll find a guy who will beat you into a submissive b****, like any good woman should be!”

    (I send my coworker, who is on the verge of tears, to call the store manager so we can remove the customer from the store.)

    Me: “Okay, sir, the store manager is on his way. I need to ask you to leave the property.”

    (At this point my coworker returns, saying the store manager has called the police and is coming as fast as he can. Meanwhile, the customer starts acting very aggressively toward me; he tries to push me and effectively prevents me from going anywhere. He then turns his attention on my coworker, who doesn’t want to leave me alone with this freak. I’m really fearing for our safety, so I drop down and catch the longest, heaviest draw bar I can find. I smile at my coworker and put on the best “death stare” I can do towards the customer.)

    Customer: *suddenly scared* “…What are you doing? Stop that! You’re scaring me, b****!”

    Me: *grinning but saying nothing*

    Customer: “What are you doing with the bar? Put it down! I am a man… I am the customer… I demand obedience and respect!” *to my coworker* “What the f*** is she doing?! Tell her to stop looking at me like that. She gives me the creeps!”

    Coworker: “I don’t know sir, but around here, she’s known as a ‘man-beater.’ That’s because she sent a man to the hospital… a man that was trying to assault her at her previous job.”

    Customer: “How could they let a crazy woman like this work in a store and deal with customers?!”

    Coworker: “Well, she’s pretty handy for customers like you.”

    Customer: *very frightened* “Um, I’ll just go now, okay? I’ll go to those other stores and see if they have any in stock.”

    (As the customer turns around and starts walking out, he walks directly into the store manager, who is a very tall and broad-shouldered guy.)

    Customer: *to store manager* “Your employees are crazy! Women shouldn’t beat men! It’s the other way around! You should break her and make her obedient and submissive, like any good woman!”

    Store Manager: “Get out of my store now, or I’ll lock you in my office with her!”

    (The customer starts heading towards the exit, but runs straight into two police officers who have just arrived.)

    Customer: *to the police officers* “You gotta protect me! She’s crazy! She’s a man-beater!”

    Police Officer #1: *sarcastically* “Get into our car. You’ll be safe there.”

    (The customer was arrested then and there, which was a good thing: it turned out he was wanted for multiple cases of domestic violence. After his arrest, several ex-girlfriends came out and testified against him, putting him away for good.)

    On The Straight And Narrow (Minded), Part 2

    | New York, USA | Bigotry, Top

    (Note: My coworker (who is flamboyantly homosexual) and I are the only two people working at the time.)

    Coworker: “Hey ya, how’re you doing today? Is there anything we can help you find?”

    Customer: “Leave me alone.”

    Coworker: “I’m sorry, is something wrong?”

    Customer: “I said leave me alone!”

    (While the customer browses, I head to the back to get some categorizing done. I come back at the request of my coworker, only to hear the customer yelling.)

    Customer: “I will NOT be serviced by some f****t! You people are gonna burn in h***, and I don’t want you taking me down with you!”

    Coworker: *on the verge of tears* “Sir, I’m really just trying to—”

    Customer: *points to me* “HIM! Let HIM help me! Ain’t no f****t gonna handle my records! You, there! With the beard! Come help me, please!”

    (Instead of helping the customer, I wrap my arm around my coworker’s shoulder. Note that I’m not gay.)

    Me: “Is my boyfriend unable to help you with your transaction, sir?”

    Customer: *looks horrified and sprints out of the store*

    Related:
    On The Straight And Narrow (Minded)

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