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  • Always Time For A Rhyme
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  • Category: Bigotry

    This category is dedicated to the bottom rung of humanity at its worst — racists, homophobes, and other bigots — and, occasionally, employees at their finest.

    Raceless Accusations, Part 2

    | Texas, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry

    (On a very slow night, I’m helping our only customer with a coworker. I notice another customer enter the store, glance around, and disappear into the aisles. Once the other customer leaves, she approaches us carrying some items.)

    Customer: “I can’t believe you didn’t help me when I came in.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, we were helping the gentleman who just left.”

    Customer: “Well, I just would like you to quit being racist and check me out.”

    (My coworker and I are taken aback at the accusation, but I remain courteous.)

    Me: “Um, sure.”

    (At that moment, the customer sees a different coworker at a register.)

    Customer: “Nevermind, I’ll just ask her.”

    (The customer returns moments later, as it turns out my coworker’s register is closed. I hadn’t known the other one was closed, or else I would have warned her.)

    Customer: “I can’t believe you’re all so racist here that you can’t even help me. I’ll call the NAACP on you, and they’ll crack down on this store!”

    Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way, ma’am. Would you like me to call the manager on duty to address your concern?”

    Customer: “Yes, please do.”

    (I radio in our manager on duty, who comes quickly to the register. He is one of two black men with management positions in the store, and we only have four managers.)

    Me: “This is our manager for tonight. [Manager on duty], this woman has a concern she would like to address.”

    Manager: *smiling* “How may I help you, ma’am?”

    Customer: *deflates instantly and leaves in a huff*

    Related:
    Raceless Accusations

    Some People Just Need To Stay Silent

    | Phoenix, AZ, USA | Bigotry, Top

    (I am participating in the Day Of Silence and my boss, being understanding because her brother is gay and was assaulted for it a year ago, has let me wear my DOS pin while on my shift. He’s put me on restock and check-in duty so I don’t have to handle customers. A few customers have noticed my pin and were understanding and even supportive, but not this next customer…)

    Customer: *walks over to me, passing up three other employees*” Excuse me, I have a question.”

    (I shrug in apology and show her my pin.)

    Coworker: “Ma’am, she’s not on register duty today for personal reasons, but I can help you.”

    Customer: “No! I asked her to help me, so she has to do what I say!” *to me* “Why the h*** aren’t you doing your job? Sitting back here all day, twiddling your thumbs while your coworkers do all the work… you’re a lazy b****! You should be fired!”

    Me: *completely shocked*

    Boss: “Excuse ME, ma’am, but she is doing her job. You’re going to stop harassing my employees now or I will have to ask you to leave.”

    Customer: “But she’s not even answering questions! She’s just sitting there not helping anyone!”

    Boss: “I have her on non-interactive duty today because she’s taking part in the Day of Silence in support of the LGBT community.”

    Customer: *aghast* “You let your employees support f*****s?! What the h*** is wrong with you?! People like that are evil sinners that should be shot in the street! They don’t even have rights anyway!”

    Boss: “And that’s what the Day of Silence commemorates: gays that have been bullied and killed by hateful and ignorant people like you. You can leave my store now and don’t come back.”

    Customer: “Oh my God! You’re all soulless queers! I’m getting out of here before I catch your gay curse and burn in H***!” *practically runs out of the store*

    Bigotry Gets Served, Part 2

    , | Orlando, FL, USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top

    (This occurs in the middle of a quiet weekday afternoon while I’m working drive-thru. Since it’s slow, I’m simultaneously taking orders on headset, working the fountain making shakes and freezes, greeting people at the window, taking their money, and passing out the orders.)

    Customer: “I want an orange freeze.”

    Me: “Alright, sir. Will that be a medium or large?”

    Customer: “Large. It’s hot out.”

    Me: “Yes, sir, it is. That’ll be [price]. Please pull around to the window.”

    (As he pulls around, I’m already at the fountain, mixing his order. I have time to pour it into the cup and meet him at the window as he pulls up. He’s driving an old beat up pick-up truck with the bed’s cap windows covered in fishing stickers.)

    Me: “Good afternoon, sir. That’ll be [price].”

    Customer: “Ya see here, this is why I like this place! Ya actually got an English speaker on both ends. Not like them other places down the road that only seem to hire damn Mexicans and Puerto Ricans. Can’t understand them f***ing sp**s on the speaker. You wanna to live in this country, needa learn the language!”

    (He hands me the cash, I enter it, and hand him his drink and change.)

    Customer: “I wanna thank your boss for hiring an American instead of some wetback. Go get me your manager, boy!”

    Me: “Absolutely, sir. Just a moment please…”

    (I turn half around and call back for my assistant manager.)

    Me: “Hey José, a customer wants to talk to you.”

    (My obviously Puerto Rican boss immediately steps around the corner into view.)

    José: “Yes?”

    Customer: *turns red and speeds out of the drive-thru*

    José: “What was that about?”

    Related:
    Bigotry Gets Served

    Saved By The Buff Belle

    , | USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (Note: In this case, the cashier has made an error and given the customer the wrong item. However, it doesn’t justify what transpires next…)

    Customer: “I did NOT order this salad, you stupid bimbo!”

    (The customer throws the salad right at the cashier.)

    Cashier: “Hey!”

    Customer: “I did NOT order a f***ing salad!”

    Cashier: “Oh, I’m so sorry. That was my mistake.”

    Customer: “I want my entire order free!”

    Cashier: “I’m sorry, sir, but it does not work that way. I sincerely apologize for the error.”

    Customer: “I want my food free!”

    (The customer throws the rest of his food at the cashier, hitting another cashier who has stepped over to help wipe the mess. The manager, who has seen everything happen, speaks up.)

    Manager: “Sir, you do not do that to my employees. I’m going to have to ask you to pay not just for your order, but the salad that you have now ruined.”

    Customer: “Who are you, and what gives you the right to demand that?!”

    Manager: “I am the manager.”

    Customer: “No, you’re not. You’re a woman!”

    Manager: “I assure you, I am. This is my name tag.”

    (The manager presents her name tag, which says “Robin.”)

    Customer: “You stole that off your real manager, a man! Females spell it R-O-B-Y-N!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry if it’s confusing, but I am the manager, and that is how my name is spelled. Nevertheless, I’m going to ask you to pay for the food you threw and apologize.”

    Customer: “I want my food free! That’s it!”

    (Suddenly, a short but very muscular woman shows up and drags the customer from the counter to a wall. She is a customer who has also been watching the commotion.)

    Woman: *to the customer* “You, pay up, or you’ll have ME to deal with!”

    Customer: “Um, okay! Okay!” *pays and leaves immediately*

    (The woman who saved the day? She got a free meal!)

    A-moooo-sing Customers, Part 2

    | France | Bigotry, Family & Kids, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (We’re located in a small village in a rural area, but each year, we have plenty of foreign tourists. I’m the only person fluent in english at the office. One day, a family of tourists (a father, a mother and their teenage son and daughter) walk in.)

    Father: *in French* “Hello, sir. Can you help me to find how to go to a few places? I can’t find them on my map.”

    Me: *in French* “Sure, let me show you. May I see your map?”

    (As I show the father directions on his map, I see the kids giggling and chatting in English in the back. They’re making fun of my coworker.)

    Daughter: *in English* “God, this guy looks so stupid!”

    Son: *in English* “Totally! Look at his eyes! It totally looks like a cow’s eyes!”

    Daughter: *in English* “And look at his hair! Soooo dorky!”

    (The father says nothing, despite clearly hearing them.)

    Father: *in French* “Alright, I think I got it. Thank you for your time.”

    Me: “Mooooooooooooooo!”

    Father: *in French* “What are you doing?!”

    Me: *grinning, in English* “That’s the cow word for ‘Have a nice day.’”

    (The parents and their two children stay stunned for a second. Then, both parents start to laugh and the kids turn cherry red.)

    Mother: *laughing, in English* “Weren’t expecting that now, you two?”

    (Embarrassed, the kids try to leave, but the parents grab them both by their shoulders.)

    Son: *in English* “Let me go, Dad!”

    Father: *still laughing, in English* “We’re not leaving until both of you apologize to this man!”

    (The parents refused to move or let them go until I received an apology from both kids. The whole family left, the parents still joking and the kids almost running away.)

    Related:
    A-moooo-sing Customers

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