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    Category: Bigotry

    This category is dedicated to the bottom rung of humanity at its worst — racists, homophobes, and other bigots — and, occasionally, employees at their finest.

    Clueless And Shampooless

    | Rockford, IL, USA | Bigotry, Language & Words

    (A customer comes in to exchange a bottle of conditioner for a bottle of shampoo.)

    Customer: “I would like to return this mess. It says ‘Shampoo’ when it clearly reads ‘Conditioner’.”

    Me: “I’m sorry for the mix-up. Let’s get you the correct bottle.”

    (I proceed to go with her to help her get the right item. After taking a couple seconds to look, she lets out an exasperated sigh.)

    Customer: “I can’t believe it! They all say ‘Shampoo’ AND ‘Conditioner’. SEE?!”

    (She thrusts the bottle into my hands. I look at it a minute and see what she means.)

    Me: “Oh, ma’am, this one is conditioner, but these over here are shampoo.”

    Customer: “What?! That’s stupid! Why does it say ‘Shampoo’ when it’s ‘Conditioner’?”

    Me: “Oh, because it actually reads ‘apres shampooing’, which literally means ‘after shampoo’, which in turn means it’s conditioner.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t speak Spanish!”

    Me: “Ma’am, it’s French.”

    Customer: “Well, you d*** French people need to give the jobs back to the REAL Americans. We’d get this labeling s*** right!

    Smile, You’re On Sordid Camera

    | USA | Bigotry, Top

    (We’ve recently gotten a transferred supervisor from another state, and we all just love her. We’re all particularly excited to see what happens when one of our regulars, who’s a big jerk and a misogynist, meets her. Note: I’m sweeping up a small mess when this happens.)

    Mean Regular: *to me* “I see you got a new skirt around here.”

    Me: “We do have a new woman working here, yes.”

    Mean Regular: “Then why you sweepin’? That’s her job. It’s woman’s work!” *yells across the store at her* “Oi! B****! Why don’t you get to the jobs you supposed to be doin’? Ain’t no man’s job to sweep and clean!”

    (My supervisor calmly walks over to our side of the store with a small smile on her face. Note: this customer towers over her and is much bulkier than she is.)

    Mean Regular: “What you comin’ over here for?”

    Female Supervisor: *calmly* “I came over here to inform you that if you yell across the store like that again, you will have to leave.”

    Mean Regular: *menacingly* “What’d you say to me, b****?!”

    Female Supervisor: *smiling* “I don’t make a habit of repeating myself, sir.” *to me* “Excuse me.”

    (She turns to go back to what she has been doing—helping a different customer—but the mean regular starts yelling again.)

    Mean Regular: “I’m gonna get you, b****, I swear I will! You’ll pay for disrespecting me! You can’t talk to me like that. I am a MAN! How dare you!”

    (My supervisor stops in her tracks, pulls out her phone, swivels around and takes his picture.)

    Female Supervisor: “I’m going to ask you to write down your name, address and phone number so we can contact you about your complaint, sir.”

    Mean Regular: “Well, finally. A w**** who knows how to treat a real man!” *writes down his information and leaves*

    Me: “What’d you do that for?”

    Female Supervisor: “For the police report. He threatened me!”

    Never Say No To La Novia

    | Roselle, NJ, USA | Awesome Customers, Bigotry, Family & Kids, Top

    (I am watching my girlfriend’s two-year-old sister near the counter while she does her shopping. Her sister is learning to talk in Spanish, so I’m quizzing her with colors. While we’re playing, a seven-year-old girl approaches us and asks to play because she takes Spanish at school. Everything is fine until the girl’s mother comes.)

    Mother: “Leona, what are you doing? You know not to bother people.”

    Me: “Oh, she’s not, ma’am. She just asked to play with me and my girlfriend’s sister.”

    Mother: “Girlfriend?” *thinks for a few moments* “Oh, a close friend! Sorry, I was thinking you meant a girl you were dating.”

    Me: “I did. I am dating a girl. This little girl is her sister and your daughter was just playing with us. She wasn’t bothering us.”

    Mother: “What?! Leona, you were playing with a homo?!? Come over here, right now!”

    (In tears, the girl slowly approaches her mother, who yells at her about how she knows better than to interact with “h***-bound sinners” like me. She then chides me for “sinning” around such a small child, referring to my girlfriend’s sister. While I’m speechless, a man comes up, who I assume is the girl’s father.)

    Father: *to the mother* “I got the rest of the stuff. What are you yelling about?”

    Mother: *to her daughter* “Tell Daddy what you did!”

    (In hysterics, the girl tells her father what happened, ending her telling by clinging to his leg and apologizing over and over. I’m feeling dreadful and very guilty and am near tears myself. But to my surprise, this happens.)

    Father: *to the mother* “Are you serious?! What is wrong with you?! I don’t even know why I came out with you! Just go wait in the car! Sheesh!”

    (The mother, now apparently embarrassed, exits the store. The father calms his daughter down and apologizes to her and me before leaving. Right after they leave, my girlfriend comes up, having seen the whole thing.)

    My Girlfriend: “I actually know that family. The father moved in next door to me two weeks ago. That girl’s parents are divorced and her parents have joint custody of her, but today is her birthday and she wanted to be with both of them together. They said yes to make her happy, but I don’t think that’ll happen again.”

    (A few weeks later, my girlfriend tells me the father got full custody of his daughter. Now, she and my girlfriend’s sister play together on a daily basis, and I occasionally help her with her Spanish homework.)

    Who’s The Alpha Ape Now

    | USA | Bigotry, Top

    (I have a coworker who is on the petite side. That, combined with her being female, seems to make people think they can intimidate her really easily. This makes it especially amusing to watch when they figure out that they can’t. This day, she’s dealing with a particularly rude customer who is at least a foot taller than she is, and has been acting like he expects to be feared.)

    Rude Customer: “Hey, B****!”

    Coworker: *blank stare* “Pardon?”

    Rude Customer: “I was trying to get your attention, lady! That seems to be the only way to get you skirts to get your minds off your lady troubles!”

    Coworker: “Well, sir I don’t know what you mean by ‘lady troubles’, but what can I do for you today?”

    (By now, the rude customer is behaving very aggressively, gesturing wildly and almost hitting her.)

    Rude Customer: “You know, LADY TROUBLES! Like shopping, shoes, boyfriends…LADY TROUBLES!”

    (My coworker is still smiling, not off-put at all by the rude customer’s behavior.)

    Coworker: “Single, hate shopping, have enough shoes. Is there anything you wanted to ask about that I can help you with? Because, if not, there are other customers that I’m sure would be willing to tell me what they need help with.”

    Rude Customer: *taken aback* “I need to find something for my wife.”

    Coworker: “…and what would that be, sir?”

    Rude Customer: *uncomfortable* “Well I…I want to get her some lingerie—”

    Coworker: “That’ll be upstairs on your left. If there’s anything specific you’re trying to find, I’m sure they’ll be happy to help you.”

    (The rude customer’s behavior has now completely flipped. He’s extremely uncomfortable, almost mumbling, and won’t make eye contact with my coworker.)

    Rude Customer: “Right…” *walks off to escalator*

    Next Customer: “Oh my, I don’t know how you kept your composure!”

    Me: “I don’t know how she did, either.”

    Coworker: “Well, usually when the lower primates get aggressive, it’s best not to respond to their aggression with fear because it’s what they want. More aggression just makes it worse. Plus, making them uncomfortable is REALLY fun!”

    Man Up And Let A Woman Fix It

    | Naples, FL, USA | Bigotry, Technology, Top

    (One of the new girls is trying to take care of an older gentleman who is having a problem with his phone. I actually discovered a temporary fix for the issue and have taught it to the new girl while we wait for a permanent one from corporate. I’m at the station right next to hers, and she’s done a good job at determining the issue, but she’s just having a hard time remembering the instructions for the fix. Note that I am also female.)

    Customer: “You have no idea what you’re doing do you? Get me a tech guy now!”

    New Girl: “Sir, we don’t have techs here, but I know exactly what the problem is and I can fix it. Give me a minute to—”

    Customer: “I SAID get me a tech guy! Geez, women can’t do anything right!”

    (Frustrated, the new girl turns to me.)

    New Girl: “Hey, that fix you showed me…how—”

    Customer: “Did you not hear me?! I said tech GUY! As in, get me a MAN!”

    New Girl: “Sir, I can assure you, she’s the closest thing to a tech that we have here at the store.”

    Customer: “Ugh! She’s not going to know anything either!”

    Me: “Actually, sir, your problem is an easy fix. I know exactly—”

    Customer: “This is outrageous! I want to speak to your manager now!”

    Me: “Sure thing.”

    (I go to the back room and proceed to get both our assistant manager and our district manager, whose office is in our building. Neither one of them has a clue on how to fix the memory issue, so they both ask me why the customer doesn’t just let me fix it. They agree to speak to the customer.)

    Customer: “Oh, thank God! Men!”

    Assistant Manager: *takes phone and looks at it* “So, it’s the memory, huh?”

    New Girl: “Yep.”

    District Manager: *to assistant manager* “Okay, then…you know what to do.”

    Assistant Manager: “Yes, sir!” *hands phone to me* “Fix this thing since you’re the only one here who knows how to!”

    Me: “Sure!” *takes phone*

    Customer: *shocked* “I don’t want her touching it! She’s a woman! How the h***—”

    District Manager: “Yes, she is, and a great one at that. If it wasn’t for this young lady figuring out this issue, our company would be losing tens of thousands of dollars in replacement phones right now.”

    Customer: “But women can’t—”

    Assistant Manager: “I’m VERY happy to have her here in my store and I will do anything to protect all of my employees. If I hear one more biased comment out of your mouth, I will have her hand you back the phone RIGHT NOW and you can leave here with your phone still messed up.”

    Customer: *face turns beet red and shuts up*

    (I proceed to go though the phone, showing the new girl step-by-step how to fix the issue in the future. When we’re done, I hand her the phone to give back to the customer.)

    New Girl: “So, there you go, it’s fixed! Was there anything else we could help you with today?”

    Customer: *silently walks out the door with his phone, defeated*

    Me: *to the new girl* “Good job. Don’t worry, it happens a lot.” *to my managers* “Thanks for the support, guys. I appreciate it.”

    District Manager: “Oh, don’t worry, we know better. And you’ll be rewarded, trust me!”

    (I was rewarded. I won MVP of our store for that quarter and got a bonus!)

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