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  • Bigotry Comes In All Shapes And Sizes
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    Category: Bigotry

    This category is dedicated to the bottom rung of humanity at its worst — racists, homophobes, and other bigots — and, occasionally, employees at their finest.

    Killing Two Types Of Bigot With One Stone

    | MO, USA | Bigotry

    (I recently got married. Due to the nature of my job, I opted for a simple wedding band instead of one with a stone that could easily get caught on things while I am working.)

    Customer: “Are you a lesbian?”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “You have a man’s ring.”

    Me: “Oh, no. My husband and I got matching bands. I didn’t want a stone because it could get in the way at work.”

    Customer: “Husband? So you’re not a lesbian?”

    Me: “No, I am not. Like I said, a simple band seemed more practical to me.”

    Customer: “Well, you should get a girl’s ring! How do you expect people to know you’re not a lesbian with THAT on your finger?”

    Piercing Judgments, Part 4

    | PA, USA | Bigotry, Health & Body, Religion

    (I am delivering oxygen to a new patient at their home. It is mid-summer and I am wearing a short sleeve work shirt. I have tattoos visible on both arms and hands as well as the front of my neck. I also have three piercings in each earlobe as well as my septum and three in my lower lip. There are all currently being filled by clear spacers. I also have shoulder length hair, a long full beard, stand 6’4″, and am clearly a biker. Generally, patients are a little timid at first when they see me but once they speak to me they are generally more at ease with my appearance and demeanor.)

    Me: “Will that be it for you today, ma’am?”

    Woman: “Why don’t you have any religious tattoos?”

    Me: “Pardon me, ma’am?”

    Woman: “Why don’t you have any religious tattoos like the saints or scriptures?”

    Me: “Well, I suppose because I don’t actively practice any religion, ma’am.”

    Woman: “Those things might be acceptable if they were religious.”

    Me: “I’ll agree to disagree, ma’am, but then I have to ask, why don’t you have any religious tattoos?”

    Woman: “Because the bible says to alter your body’s appearance is a sin! Leviticus says it.”

    Me: “I am somewhat familiar with the passages you are referring to, but if you believe that, then why would you ask why I don’t have any religious tattoos, when the bible says that tattoos are a sin?”

    Woman: “Well, you are obviously going to go to Hell for your sins, but I thought if you had some scripture instead of those other things you might be forgiven and get to walk with Jesus.”

    Related:
    Piercing Judgments, Part 3
    Piercing Judgments, Part 2
    Piercing Judgments

    Dealing With A Whole New Animus

    | TX, USA | Bigotry, Extra Stupid, Technology

    (I’m working my shift on a particularly lazy Sunday night, when two guys come in. I’m the only one out on the floor, as my other two coworkers are in the back. I greet the guys as they come in.)

    Me: “Hey, guys. How are y’all doing?”

    Guy #1: “Um, good. You?”

    Me: “Doing great, actually. What brings you guys in here today?”

    Guy #2: “Y’know, games. Are there any employees we can talk to, or—”

    Me: “You are.”

    Guy #1: “Girls don’t play games. Don’t lie to me.”

    Guy #2: “And if you play games then list five characters from the same game.”

    Me: “Connor Kenway, Haytham Kenway, Achilles, Charles Lee, and Ziio.”

    Guy #1:Assassin’s Creed, huh? Who’s the main character in the first one?”

    Me: “Altaïr.”

    (This goes on for several minutes, and my coworker finally comes out of the back.)

    Coworker: “Hey, y’all need anything?”

    Guy #2: “Yeah, actually. You need to hire her or something!”

    Coworker: “We did.”

    Guy #1: “Oh God, I’m sorry. We were quizzing her on Assassin’s Creed. And she kinda won.”

    Coworker: “Yeah, gamer girls do exist. Guys just get mad when the girl knows more about the game than they do.”

    (After buying their games, the two customers leave, and my coworker and I start to close up.)

    Coworker: “So that happened. Why’d he say you won?”

    Me: “He thought Ezio’s close friend was Leonardo di Caprio.”

    No Thick Crust For Crusty Old Bigots

    | GA, USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink

    (A regular at our restaurant comes in while I’m working the register. He’s about 60 and always smells like alcohol. He isn’t the nicest person. It is my first time dealing with him.)

    Me: “Hi there! What can I get for you?”

    (The regular walks the length of the counter, making sure he can see everyone in the back making pizzas.)

    Me: “Sir? Can I help you? Are you looking for someone?”

    Regular: “Sausage pizza.”

    Me: “Okay. That’ll be [price].”

    Regular: *pointing* “Is HE gonna cut it?”

    Me: “Who?”

    (The regular jabs his finger towards the 19-year-old coworker cutting the pizzas. He happens to be our only black employee.)

    Me: “Yes, sir. That’s his assigned station for the day. Is that a problem?”

    Regular: “If he’s gon’ touch it, I don’t want it.” *walks out*

    Manager: “What happened? Did he order anything?”

    Me: “No. He said he didn’t want it if [Coworker] was gonna cut it.”

    Manager: “Hey, [Coworker]. Do you know that guy?”

    Coworker: “Nope. Never seen him in my life.”

    Manager: “Wow. I knew he was a little rude but I didn’t know he was racist.”

    Me: “Why do we keep serving him?”

    Manager: “We’re not allowed to refuse service to anyone, according to company policy, unless he ‘physically or verbally assaults an employee or customer.’”

    (A few days pass until the regular comes in again. My coworker is working again, cutting pizzas, and I’m the cashier. My manager isn’t there.)

    Me: *with a friendly customer service voice and huge smile* “I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t serve your kind here.”

    (The regular stares at me, confused. I just keep beaming that smile at him. Eventually he mumbles some racist and sexist slurs and walks out.)

    Coworker: “HAVE A NICE DAY!”

    Trying To Give A Dogged Defense

    | NC, USA | Bigotry, Bizarre, Pets & Animals

    (I’m a receptionist at a small animal hospital. I take a phone call.)

    Me: “[Hospital Name]. How may I help you?”

    Client: “Is it possible that my dog is gay?”

    Me: “Pardon?”

    Client: “I think my dog is gay, and my husband is very homophobic. He says we can’t keep the dog if it is gay.”

    Me: “What made you come to this conclusion, ma’am?”

    Client: “He sniffs other male dogs inappropriately. It makes the whole family uncomfortable.”

    Me: “Dogs often smell other dogs as a means of introduction, and they do smell each other’s hind end area to get acquainted. That is very common.”

    Client: “How do I make him stop this?”

    Me: “Is your dog neutered?”

    Client: “No, my husband does not want him neutered. He says it’s not fair to the dog.”

    Me: “Unaltered dogs can present these behaviors more frequently and sometimes can be more aggressive. It may help if you had him neutered.”

    Client: *yelling to her husband* “She says the dog won’t be gay anymore if we chop his balls off…” *a few moments of bickering between the couple* “Well, we can’t keep the dog if he’s gay, so when can we get him neutered?”

    Me: “Ma’am, neutering your dog will not stop him from sniffing other dogs. I was just suggesting that neutering him may calm him down and the behavior would be less frequent.”

    Client: “Can you just tell my husband that if we go through with the surgery that he won’t be gay anymore? I’m afraid he is going to make me give him up. He is terribly afraid of gays! He won’t even let the dog sleep in the bed until this gets figured out…”


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