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    Category: Bigotry

    This category is dedicated to the bottom rung of humanity at its worst — racists, homophobes, and other bigots — and, occasionally, employees at their finest.

    What A BS Degree

    , | The Netherlands | Bigotry, School

    (I’ve been helping a student from China get her books for her Master’s programme. Her English is fine, but she has a strong accent. After I’ve finished helping her, the next customer steps up.)

    Customer: “If that’s how she speaks English, she’s going to have serious trouble with Dutch. She’ll be useless in class!”

    Me: “Actually, her courses are all in English, so she won’t have to learn Dutch.”

    Customer: “What? That’s ridiculous! They’re making all these courses in English to let lazy foreigners get in easily. What about us, hmm? We have to put up with having to speak a foreign language in our own country just so she can come here and basically get handed a place at university by the stupid management. I bet she’ll get a job here, too. Everyone seems to think it’s more prestigious to hire some foreigner than someone who actually knows the language and the culture and everything!”

    Me: “… Anyway, let’s get your books. What is your major?”

    Customer: “International relations.”

    Bigotry Loves Company

    | Sandusky, OH, USA | Bigotry, Family & Kids, Rude & Risque, Top

    (Note: I am gay, but I seem to be an ‘under the radar’ one; no one ever guesses it, but I don’t hide it, either. I also have a boyfriend, and we plan on getting engaged soon. I’m working as a lifeguard on the lazy river late in the evening. I lean in and do a corner check to scan for small children. I see a mother and her daughter in very revealing clothing pass by on a two-person tube.)

    Mother: *to me* “Don’t be looking at my daughter’s boobs! She’s a Christian girl!”

    Daughter: *blushes, embarrassed*

    Me: “Ma’am, I can promise I do not care about her boobs and was merely doing my job.”

    Mother: “Yeah, right! You mean staring at all the young girls like a perv! Only reason young men work here!”

    Me: “No, ma’am, I’m here working to save for me and my soon to be fiancé.”

    Daughter: “Mom, just let—”

    Mother: “Yeah, a fiancée! Too bad you’re cheating on her by staring at ALL this!” *gestures to herself*

    (I point to my necklace with a promise ring I got from my boyfriend on Valentine’s day.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I have a betrothed, and both Jay and I would be very surprised if I cheated or stared at a woman.”

    Mother and Daughter: *jaws drop* “You’re a f**!”

    Me: “I prefer homosexual, but yes, if you prefer.”

    (At this point they are reaching a turn in the river. The mother creates a cross with her fingers, and kicks her feet to get away. This river section horseshoes back, so I see them 10 seconds later.)

    Mother: “YOU’RE GOING TO H***, YOU F**!”

    Me: “Only if I’m working to guard your lava pit, my dear!”

    Our Great DiscrimiNation, Part 2

    | UK | Bigotry, Top

    (I’m in the library, queueing at the front desk to take out two books. I’m standing with my arms wrapped around the books. Patron #1 is talking to a librarian at the counter, while Patron #2 is waiting further down the counter.)

    Patron #1: “Do you have any Islamic books?”

    Librarian: “Well—”

    Patron #2: *patronizing* “No, dear, because this isn’t a Muslim country. It’s a Christian country.”

    (Patron #2 looks around at me and the librarian as though she expects us to agree. We are both white.)

    Librarian: “Actually, we have a collection Islamic books in both Urdu and English. They’re just over here.”

    (The librarian shows Patron #1 to the books.)

    Patron #2: *to me* “Can you believe that? Why do we need Paki books in our libraries? This is what’s wrong with this country. Maybe instead of speaking Paki, they should learn English and try to fit in!”

    (I remove my books from my arms and lay them out clearly where she can see them. I have a sociological study of the Philippines and a history of India, as my two closest friends were born there).

    Me: “Maybe what we need are more books that teach people to stop being bigoted and start respecting and understanding other people.”

    Patron #2: *scoffs at me and leaves*

    Related:
    Our Great DiscrimiNation (Not Always Working)

    Defiance Is The Best Teacher

    | Vancouver, Canada | Bigotry, School, Top

    (My friend, a former coworker, comes in on a Saturday to say hello. She is standing by the counter chatting with me when a regular customer comes in. I immediately go to serve her.)

    Customer: “I’ll have a latte.” *looks at my friend* “You’re wearing that to work?!”

    (My friend is wearing ripped jeans, a local band shirt, and boots you could kick through a wall with, as well as her nose stud and four rings in each ear.)

    My Friend: “I don’t work here any more.”

    Customer: “Well, no wonder if you started showing up like a hooligan! Young people have no sense of professionalism these days! If I met you in the street, I’d think you were going to mug me!”

    My Friend: “Actually, I quit because I started a new job.”

    Customer: “Doing what, exactly? Scaring children?”

    My Friend: “Sort of. I’m a kindergarten teacher.”

    Customer: *gasps, grabs her latte, and runs out the door*

    Cool, Cream, And Corrected

    | Maine, USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink, Top

    (At the coffee shop where I work, my coworker, Coworker #1, is from South America. He has a very thick accent, but his English comprehension and speech is otherwise perfect. A customer comes through drive-thru and orders two extra large coffees with a whopping eight servings of cold cream. A few moments later, he comes back to complain.)

    Customer: “I have a problem!”

    Coworker #1: “What’s the issue, sir?”

    Customer: “My coffee is stone cold!”

    Coworker #1: “Okay, I’ll remake that for you. It was eight creams, right?”

    Customer: “Yes, and I’d like them to be actually warm this time.”

    Coworker #1: *remakes both coffees* “Here you are. Have a good day!”

    (The man leaves, but comes back a few minutes later. He’s still fuming. Another coworker of mine helps him.)

    Customer: “This is unacceptable!”

    Coworker #2: “Hi, how can I help you?”

    Customer: “You can remake my coffee again, and this time I’d like it to not be so godd*** cold!”

    Coworker #2: “Okay…” *turns to my South American coworker* “Could you remake this again? I need to finish cleaning the flavor shot station.”

    Coworker #1: “Of course!”

    Customer: “NO! No, he’s not touching them!”

    (At this point, the manager hears the noise and comes out.)

    Manager: “Okay, what’s the problem?”

    Customer: “I’m so sick of your employees!”

    Manager: “What’s the problem?”

    Customer: “That f***ing foreigner of yours keeps f***ing up my coffees! You either need to make him learn f***ing English or send him back to wherever the f*** he came from! I want hot coffee, NOT hot coffee that’s STONE COLD!”

    Manager: “Okay, firstly don’t swear at me. Secondly, he speaks and understands English perfectly so don’t say he can’t understand you. I will remake your coffees this time if it humors you. What was in them?”

    Customer: “Eight creams!”

    Manager: *pauses for a moment* “Seriously?”

    Customer: “YES!”

    Manager: “You do realize that adding EIGHT cold creams to a coffee will cool them off, right?”

    Customer: “What?”

    Manager: “If you add that much cream—which is chilled—to a coffee, it will cool it off. It’s not my employees’ fault. Now, have a nice day and please leave my store!”


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