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    Category: Bigotry

    This category is dedicated to the bottom rung of humanity at its worst — racists, homophobes, and other bigots — and, occasionally, employees at their finest.

    Indiscriminate Discrimi-nation, Part 2

    | Auckland, New Zealand | Bigotry

    Caller: “Can I speak with [banker name]?”

    Me: “I’m so sorry, but she’s in a meeting right now. Is there something I can help with?”

    Caller: “I’m having trouble hearing you. Can you speak up?”

    (I move my headset closer.)

    Me: “Is there anything I can help you with?”

    Caller: “Your accent is appalling! I hate talking to you Asians!”

    Me: *mild shock* “Ma’am, I’m a kiwi, born and bred.”

    Caller: “Nonsense! Where were you born?”

    Me: “At [giant public hospital in Auckland].”

    Caller: “Oh, but your parents must be Asians! They’re everywhere!”

    Me: “No, ma’am. My parents are Scottish stock, and have been here five generations.”

    Caller: “D*** you Asians!” *click*

    Related:
    Indiscriminate Discrimi-nation

    Not Much Of An Enabler

    | Kansas, USA | Bigotry, Crazy Requests, Top

    (My college has a free laser tag game set up in the courtyard by a local group. One of the players, a boy I know fairly well, is knock-kneed to the point of it being a minor disability, and slowing his steps tremendously. He is a good shot, however, and wishes to play. We have about three rounds when a woman storms up to the two men running the event as we all re-load.)

    Woman: “Why are you letting them pick on this poor boy?”

    Employee #1: “Pick on… who?” *looks at group, confused*

    Woman: *points at the knock-kneed boy* “Him!”

    Me: “We’re picking on you?”

    Boy: “No, don’t think so. I’m having fun!”

    Woman: “How can you have fun? They can all run around, and you can’t! You have to hold still!”

    Boy: “A lot of people hold still, there are the forts to hang onto.”

    Girl: “And thanks for reminding him about the disability, lady.”

    Employee #2: “Ma’am, I assure you [company] does not allow bullying in its games.”

    Woman: “You can’t let disabled people play sports! They feel discriminated against!”

    Employee #1: “So, in order not to discriminate against this boy by letting him play, we should discriminate against him by not letting him play?”

    Woman: “I’m reporting this!” *storms off to the help desk*

    (She found out that the help desk was student run, and the boy running it was the knock-kneed boy’s former roommate. She was laughed out!)

    Cult-ivating Ignorance

    | Hilliard, OH, USA | Bigotry, Religion

    (I managed a family-owned bookstore that caters to Mormons. We have people come in weekly to pick fights with us, and by this time I was use to being called about every name in the book.)

    Customer: “You have a lot of pictures of Jesus in here. Is this a Christian book store?”

    Me: “Yes, we cater to members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.”

    Customer: “Church of Christ you say? Cool, okay.” *wanders off*

    (About 10 minutes later he comes back, confused.)

    Customer: “Why do you have the Book of Mormon in your store?”

    Me: “It is one of our Holy books, along with the Bible.”

    Customer: “Is this a Mormon store?”

    Me: “Yes, the LDS Church is one of the branches of the Mormon religion.”

    Customer: “Aren’t you a cult?”

    Me: “No, were just another kind of Christian, like Catholics or Protestants but with our own beliefs that set us apart.”

    Customer: “No, you are a cult.”

    Me: “Cults generally follow one leader, and our leader is Jesus Christ. So, if you want to say following Jesus makes one in a cult then you may be right.”

    Customer: “You follow Jesus, you say? Is this the Jesus you follow in the pictures on the wall?” *points to an image of Christ overlooking Jerusalem*

    Me: “Yes.”

    Customer: “Well, you are a cult then. That Jesus looks too perfect.”

    Me: *confused* “We do believe that Jesus, as the Son of God, is perfectly perfect.”

    Customer: “No, that’s a lie. Jesus can’t be perfect. Only God is perfect.”

    Me: “Yes, and we believe that Jesus is God.”

    Customer: “Wait, you worship Jesus?”

    Me: “Um… yes.”

    Customer:Real Christians don’t worship Jesus. You are a cult!” *storms out*

    Stamping Out Equality

    | Traverse City, MI, USA | Bigotry

    (I am working a slow late night at the service counter. A snobbish woman comes up for some stamps.)

    Customer: “I would like a book of forever stamps.”

    Me: “Okay, no problem. That’s $9.00.” *hands woman stamps*

    Customer: *looking disappointed* “Is this the only design you got?”

    Me: “Yes, is there a problem with this design?”

    Customer: “Yes, these quotes on them… I don’t like the fact that say equality. I don’t believe in equality.” *walks away*

    Getting Owned By The Owner

    | USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry

    (I work in a privately owned bookshop, and the shop owner/manager has very little patience for rude customers. He’s generally not unkind about it unless you upset other customers, though. He actually owns the property where the shop is located, and rents neighboring spaces to other businesses.)

    Customer #1: *to another customer* “You have a very nice a**!” *tries to grab her*

    Customer #2: *alarmed and backing away* “Don’t touch me!”

    Customer #1: “God, you feminist c***s need to learn to take a d*** complement! Besides you can’t f***ing tell me what to do, I’ll touch you if I godd*** want!” *tries to touch her again*

    Me: “Sir, I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

    Customer #1: “What’re you going to do about it? You’re only a woman, you have no right to tell me what to do. I have more rights than you! I’m better than you!” *tries to hand me a slip of paper* “Get me that book, slave!”

    Me: *refusing to take it* “You need to leave, sir.”

    Customer #1: “Get me your manager, stupid w****!”

    Manager: *approaching from behind, and speaking firmly to Customer #1* “Get out.” *to Customer #2* “I’m so sorry. Please let me know if there’s anything I can help you with.”

    (Customer #2 starts to tell him what she’s looking for, handing him a reading list, but Customer #1 isn’t done yet.)

    Customer #1: “Hey, who do you think you are, buddy? Do you even know which book this is?” *waving the paper at him*

    Manager: “I’m fairly certain everyone over the age of 12 knows what book that is.” *frowning* “I thought I told you to get out.”

    Customer #1: “Only the property owner can tell me to leave!”

    Manager: “Well even if that were true, I do own this property. So, you have two options. You can say good bye and leave, or you can just leave, which I would prefer.”

    (Customer #1 leaves, embarrassed. However, he remains in the parking lot, so afterwards my boss walks Customer #2 to her car. I ended up having to call the police to get rid of Customer #1.)

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